Member when the Beastie Boys first came on the scene with (You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party)?  Sounded like a one hit wonder at the time.  Even the goofy video seemed like a band that will come and go before Adam Curry’s hair fell.  Yeah, they ended up exceeding expectations almost immediately.  2012 was Paul Revere, Brass Monkey, She’s Crafty, Girls and even their follow-up Paul’s Boutique for Asdrubal Cabrera.  Last year, Asdrubal had 25 homers and 17 steals and got more hits than Sadaharu Oh.  That’s seven more homers than Ass-Cab’s previous career high, if you consider his previous career high 18 homers were hit over his previous four seasons and fourteen hundred and fifteen at-bats.  He’s crafty!  If you would’ve got that from Hanley you would’ve been happy as a pig in shizz.  So what’cha want from Asdrubal Cabrera for next year, and what makes him a 2012 fantasy baseball keeper?

In 2011, Asdrubal’s HR/FB ratio got a little absurd with itself.  He never broke 7% prior and last year it was 13.3%.  He did it like this.  He did it like that.  He did it with a wiffle ball bat.  Reports are saying he changed his approach a’la Zobrist.  I love how a skinny guy hits more homers than he’s ever hit before and he’s suddenly Zobrist.  Zobrist had 12 homers in only 62 games the year before he crushed 27 homers, so it wasn’t out of nowhere.  Oh, and after hitting 27 homers The Brist got chopped down to 10 homers in 151 games.  Anyway, that comparison is irrelevant.  We’re talking about Ass-Cab.  Ass-Cab isn’t a 25 homer guy.  He hit 15 homers that were deemed “Just Enough” by this site. (You’re about to lose two hours of your life after looking at that site; you’re welcome.)  Ass-Cab’s a 15 homer guy, which is potentially 20 with some luck (or 10 to 12 homers with bad luck).  He also doesn’t have blazing speed.  He’s good for around 15 steals.  His K-rate was also up last year probably because he was trying to go deep which did no favors for his average.  This sounds like a negative piece on Asdrubal.  A’la Cher from Clueless, “As-DRUBAL!”  He’s a definite keeper for 2012.  To start, he’s a shortstop.  With shortstop eligibility, you’re jockin’ Mike Aviles to my dismay.  I see his 2012 line coming in at 85/17/75/.280/17.  At shortstop, you’ll take that from White Castle to the Nile.