Something that may help you is my pitchers pairing post. Something else that may help you is APPLES. Something else that might help you, our Fantasy Baseball War Room. Something else that may also help you is mocking A-Rod. One note before we get to the lede’s lead-in, ESPN doesn’t look like they rank any starters. I have no idea where a bunch of these guys are on their list, I’m assuming they are after 300. If you know where they’re ranked, you’re smarter than me. Pat yourself on the back, you’re in the top eighty-six percentile. So, these starters are all being drafted after 200 overall. Now, this is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Trinidad-and-Tobago) supplement to the top 100 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2013 projections. Also, I’ve gone over all positions for sleepers; to see them all 2013 fantasy baseball sleepers. Anyway, here’s some starters to target for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Matt Harvey – (MDC 208) I’m mentioning him because I had him as a sleeper prior to the world ranking him so effin’ high. I should’ve drafted in fargin’ November so I could’ve got me some Harvey. The fact that ESPN and Yahoo are high on Harvey points to a secret Illuminati fantasy baseball society. Someone check Funston’s rear-end for a pentagram. Seriously. Are you people with me or not?! I am your fearless leader and I demand someone check Funston’s rear-end! Now! Or find Andy Behrens on Twitter and ask him. I am your King! Damn, I’m watching way too much Game of Thrones.
Marco Estrada – (ESPN 232; MDC 262) You know who I miss? EPMD. ‘Cause I clock Gs while you clock Zs! How could they just disappear? I don’t get it. They were easily in the top five of MCs in 1991. 1. Ice Cube 2. Rakim 3. Guru 4. Slick Rick 5. EPMD. I don’t care that they were a group it wasn’t like Rakim rapped a capella. Anyway, I mention EPMD because if Estrada doesn’t pan out this year he will also completely disappear. Guess I’m saying this could be 1991 for Estrada.
Alex Cobb – (ESPN 234; Yahoo 260; MDC 267) Here’s what Sky had to say in his Cobb sleeper post, “Shields…my…Cobb…to hear the lamentation of their women…” Whoa! How did this get passed our censors? I really need to keep a better eye on what this guy and Jaywrong are posting. I think Jaywrong put a virus in my head because whenever I hear the word “wrong,” I reply, “Jaywrong?” Get out of my head! Cobb is a solid late 5th starter, but I think his upside is limited due to his ‘lack of stuff.’ Grizzled scouts words, not mine.
Bud Norris – (ESPN 273; MDC 424) Now this guy’s got stuff. RIP George Carlin. Where you’re drafting Norris, I wouldn’t worry about things like are the Astros going to win more than 35 games. No, they won’t, but that’s of what concern to you? Sorry, I had to go all Jewish grandmother on you. And stop picking at it, you’re gonna leave a scar!
Chris Tillman – (ESPN 286; Yahoo 244; MDC 359) Hey, white boy, what you doing in Baltimore? I’m waiting for Chris Tillman… I’m waiting for Chris Tillman until I have four other starters. I don’t like that song at all. What am I missing with Lou Reed? Maybe if you have to answer that I’m a lost cause. Unlike Cobb, Tillman has velocity and he abbreviates it with three letters, MPH. Since the Jankees and Po’ Sawx look like Roseanne Barr’s psychology examination results, I don’t fear the AL East as much. Tillman, however, does have some question marks. A flyer, yes. A guarantee for an under 3 ERA, no.
Dylan Bundy – (ESPN 300+) He’s like the Wil Myers pick at your end of your draft in keepers or very deep leagues where you can spare a bench spot while he diddles in the minors.
Hyun-Jin Ryu – (Yahoo 230; ESPN 300+; MDC 287) My love for Ryu went from zero to sixty in four seconds, then my speedometer said, “He’s out of shape and the Dodgers aren’t even sure if they’re going to put him in the rotation. They might go with Ted Lilly.” Ted Lilly? Really? Really, Seth Myers? Shouldn’t surprise me. The Dodgers also put Brandon League in as closer over Jansen, and Hanley over Dee Gordon (kidding, sorta). I still like Ryu, but you need to make him more of a end of your staff flyer rather than a number three starter.
Kyle Kendrick – (Yahoo 233; ESPN 300+; MDC 414) Here’s what Charlie Manuel said when asked if Kendrick would see time in the bullpen this year, “His juju looks good, but I’m not sure about the junebug stinger that comes along and bites him in the summer punch.” So, there ya go.
Felix Doubront – (Yahoo 239; ESPN 300+; MDC 433) I talk at length about fake doody in the Doubront sleeper post. I get it; I would think I smoke weed too. Some pitchers have to come out of nowhere and put up huge seasons. They just have to. Every year it happens. Seasons no one was expecting. So does that mean I ruined Doubront’s chances of that big season because I’m talking about it? Seriously, I would think I smoke a lot of weed, too. Have I said that already?
Trevor Bauer – (Yahoo 242; ESPN 300+; MDC 286) If you click on the link, you’ll see that was from November before Kevin Towers had a team summit and made the Diamondbacks’ number one priority, “Trade all of our good prospects.” Which sent all team employees into a 200-email tailspin trying to decipher if he was being sarcastic. “Are we really trading good prospects?” “Is he using good to mean bad?” “Was he being facetious?” “What’s facetious?” Either way, my projections from that November post didn’t change. Bauer’s problem isn’t what batters he’s facing, it’s getting out of his own way and throwing the ball sixty feet and six inches, not 300 yards.
Jason Hammel – (Yahoo 243; ESPN 300+; MDC 346) A pitching staff of Hammel, Doubront, Estrada, Cashner, Fiers and Harvey is probably all you need in most 10 team leagues. I’m not messing with you. Though it would take Rocky Dennis-sized balls to draft that pitching staff. On that Rocky Dennis-sized balls staff, Hammel would be the safe one.
Andrew Cashner – (Yahoo 243; ESPN 300+; MDC 330) You know how there’s that thing where you add “in bed” at the end of all fortune cookie sayings? You could do that with all Padres pitchers but add “at home.” A thrilling time is ahead for you (at home). Behind every able man there are other able men (at home). A man with brown eyes has a surprise for you (at home). Okay, not the last one as much.
Nate Eovaldi – I have to give a shout-out to frequent commenter, Oaktown Steve, for getting me further jazzed about Eovaldi. I wrote back in February (really in December when I actually write the rankings) about how Eovaldi can hit 98 on the speedgun and how he’s a solid guy to look at very late. I always liked him, but he’s been completely abandoned in my writings since that top 100 starters post. As with Norris, don’t worry about all that “But can the Marlins win any games?” nonsense. It’s of no concern to you!
Mike Fiers – (Yahoo 250; ESPN 300+; MDC 236) You couldn’t get Michael Fiers if you were f**king Michael Fiers! So, he went and changed his name to Mike. If you’re gonna change your name, go with something colorful like Giancarlo or Grey. Geez, Fiers. I worry Fiers is going to be the number one “sleeper disappointment.” I just made that up. Clever, huh? Yeah, not really. Oh, well.
Tommy Milone – (Yahoo 257; MDC 274) You couldn’t get Tommy Milone if you were f**king bologna! Wait, what? Milone might be the least exciting name on this list but he’s also the safest and highest up in my rankings. I mean, I like Jon Niese more than anyone, but is a guy going as a number two or three starter a sleeper? I don’t know, maybe. Niese does have number one starter upside, Milone doesn’t really. I also really like Samardzija, but he’s going too early for this target post too. Why am I talking about Niese and Samradjonvscosnba? Cause Milone’s pretty boring. You couldn’t get Tommy Milone if you were f**king bologna!
Wily Peralta – (MDC 398) – Okay, you know what? Just go to the Schoolboy Q and Kendrick Lamar tier in the top 80 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball and gleam the wonderful from there. I have a 12:30 pedicure with some hot Asian broad that loves mustaches and cougars. I gotta go work on some Indecent Proposal shizz.
