Every week I strive to come up with something catchy for the title and shamefully, I went with the Antonio Banderas flick The 13th Warrior. Screw that, I have no shame in this one, I like this movie for what it is. Mindless entertainment where a Mexican Spaniard plays an Arab, and if you have ever looked at a map, it ain’t that far away. According to Wikipedia, the movie is based on the book Eaters of the Dead, which is a much better title. It was also a financial flop, costing $160 million to make and only grossed $61 million at the box office. Yikes! Like many of the dollars we spent on opening day, we are not always guaranteed the return we thought we would get. I’m looking at you Strasburg and Encarnacion. Enough about mediocrity, lets talk about awesome and wonderful, and that means you. Yes, you. As usual, we have the top 10 overall, the weekly leaders, and the top 20 hitting and pitching teams of the week. I’ve also kicked in the 2015 RCL category leaders… so far.

 

CATEGORY LEADERS, WEEK 12

RUNS 63 The BallBusters FUBAR
HR 21 BACLO BombersBaseball CougarCatch de Taste Lester’s RCL #3Night of the Living ZombinosRiverboat Fantasy
RBI 65 Chisenhall Over Take on Jay #6
SB 16 Leyland Marlboros RCL FG Caught Looking
AVG .368 Team Jew Riverboat Fantasy
K 98 Flicker Street Parolees Take on Magoo
W 10 Beddict The BlessedSimply Fred RCL ‘PertsThe Game of Throws
SV 13 Seattle Rocks CharlieHustlers
ERA 0.41 Say It Aint Sosa Beddict’s Brood of Bros
WHIP 0.62 Team Koll RCL FIPping the Bird

* ERA and WHIP are based off 40 innings pitched minimum

Another week and another round of solid performances. Nothing jumping off the screen that screams special *double checks numbers* Oops, my bad, Say It Aint Sosa has the lowest weekly ERA of the 2015 season and Team Koll has the second lowest WHIP of the year. I did have a first for this year when Simply Fred came into last weeks update yesterday to find out if 10 wins was a winner. He’s a winner and his name always makes me think of these guys. Which surprisingly also makes me think of Sky because I have a feeling he has used this video in a post at some point in his razzcareer. Anythehoo, if you are here you get an over the net high five and hopefully you can parlay this into some nookie from the lady in your life….or a lady of the night. It’s up to you.

 

The RCL Top-10, Week 13

This is the best around!… For the season… so far. Do you want to be Daniel Larusso? Then you got to beat all the Cobra Kai’s and win the All Valleys RCL Championship. Word around the office is that the grand prize is Sky jumping out of a cake in your living room and doing a strip tease to the the tune of Moment of Truth by Survivor. The table below contains the rank, team name, league name, RCL points, League Index and League Points.

1 Unpainted Arizona HA! 112.87 102 107.5
2 Backdoor Sliders Razzball Champion’s League 112.62 106 100
3 Wake Up FCL 110.42 108 93
4 RA the Rugged D ickeys King Ralph’s Emporium 107.51 102 103
5 Soler Powered Two Out Rally 106.93 101 104.5
6 Big Magoo Take on Magoo 105.99 101 105.5
7 drunc orks Euro Razzball 105.34 100 108.5
8 Astros to Mouth Spiders and Snakes 105.12 100 106
9 Jersey Moose Walking On Sunshine 104.73 102 101
10 St Louis Browns Don’t even remember last year 103.36 100 105

Razzball Commenter Leagues 2015 MASTER STANDINGS

I was excited to see we got a new team crash the top ten but then I saw it was the Big Magoo I picked up the phone and did this. Sorry, I never tire of that movie or that clip. Wow, what a shocker, Nathan Arizona’s store is back in first…again…and the backdoor is in the 2 hole. You bet it is! Wake is hiding like a hose in the grass ready to spray all over the top 2 and take them over with abduction hoods. He is followed again by Nick “I didn’t share Oddise with Grey and thus disappointed him” the Dick in 4th with last weeks 5th ranked team Soler still chillin’. Hey…look…it’s Magoo…in 6th. The drunk orcs drops one spot to 7th this week as magoo came in and messed it up for everyone. Mouth and Moose both slide up on spot to 8th and 9th respectively. Mr Brown comes in at 10th after spending some time away from the top 10. Hey I have a question for everyone, for shizz and jiggles, would anyone like to see a top 20? Let me know in the comments.

 

CATEGORY LEADERS… SO FAR

RUNS 565 Backdoor Sliders Razzball Champion’s League
HR 175 Alcibiades Escobar Take on Jay #7
RBI 544 PT Bruisers Hodgepadres ‘R’ Us
SB 125 Paul Before Swine BATTAMANIA!
AVG .2907 No Chickensit FUBAR
K/9 10.7 Suck It DriHeat
W 65 Team warshaw JFOH Hearts Tristan
SV 127 Vancouver Rockies Vancouver
ERA  2.37  Team Duncan  West Coast Razzball
AVG  0.99  If you want blood, U got it  Spiders and Snakes

* K/9, ERA, & WHIP are based on a minimum of 600 innings pitched.

Since the season is technically half over I thought we should check back in on the category leaders. I swapped out K’s for K/9 because so many teams had over inflated K totals from out pacing the game starts. If your name appears here then take a moment and bask in the glory of Razzball while the rest of us look at you in awe. Would it be fair to call the winner of home runs the King of Dongs? The Dong King? I’m open to any suggestions for naming any cat winner as long as it flows with the soul of the Razz. Glad to see warshaw from my JFOH Hearts Tristan league here representing…and yes I do heart Tristan. Hell of a guy.

 

Top Offensive Performances of the Week

Team League H AB Ave R HR RBI SB
Catch de Taste Riverboat Fantasy 94 296 .318 57 21 60 5
Team Sample Rotokings 95 291 .327 52 17 54 6
The BallBusters FUBAR 100 282 .355 63 12 39 6
Steve Garvey Is My Daddy Jay’s Family and Friends 97 302 .321 61 15 43 8
Delts Brah Lester’s RCL #3 83 283 .293 54 20 61 4
Buster? I Olney just met her. Big, if true 83 278 .299 42 17 45 15
Team Martens Take on Jay #4 94 278 .338 47 12 51 8
Los Atléticos de Havana King Ralph’s Emporium 80 275 .291 58 16 55 6
CarGo? CarGon! Big, if true 91 285 .319 47 12 57 8
Chisenhall Over Take on Jay #6 83 285 .291 46 18 65 4
Rumford Strong BATTAMANIA! 75 297 .253 59 19 52 9
Team Czerwinski Grey’s Mustache Wax 84 280 .300 48 19 56 3
West Texas hothot Beddict’s Brood of Bros 84 278 .302 44 15 41 13
Vancouver Rains The Underground 91 304 .299 54 17 50 5
You Best Not Miss SchmidtHeads 93 300 .310 45 13 54 8
MiddleAmerica DoubleHeaders Nova Scotia 90 299 .301 44 16 54 6
Team Jew Riverboat Fantasy 89 242 .368 39 12 34 7
Cactus Jack Lester’s RCL #1 78 275 .284 50 17 55 5
Texas Matt Hodgepadres ‘R’ Us 73 254 .287 42 20 52 5
Cips FBC Razzball Soccer Sympathizers 89 293 .304 49 16 51 4

Top Pitching Performances of the Week

Team League IP ER ERA K BB HA W WHIP Saves
Jim Abbot’s Right Hand Man Beddict and the Elder God Chosen 70.2 11 1.40 74 16 47 5 0.89 5
rocky mtn oysters Euro Razzball 63.1 9 1.28 55 11 40 4 0.81 6
Over-Nite Sensation Lester’s RCL #3 68.1 11 1.45 61 15 47 7 0.91 4
John Boccabellas The Downward Spiral 59.1 6 0.91 60 15 44 3 0.99 4
No Rulz Alberta 75.2 13 1.55 74 24 46 4 0.93 4
Say It Aint Sosa Beddict’s Brood of Bros 44.1 2 0.41 33 9 25 2 0.77 7
ikor chew Razzball DC 54.2 8 1.32 50 16 30 3 0.84 9
Gold Dust Twins RCL FG Caught Looking 71.1 14 1.77 86 21 49 4 0.98 7
Lou Brown’s Tire World Hoodie Dreams 70 13 1.67 65 16 46 6 0.89 2
sacks packed with semien $12 Salads 85 20 2.12 80 20 61 8 0.95 3
Team Elorza Muscle Car Fanatics 68.1 14 1.84 65 18 45 5 0.92 6
**** CARNAC FCL 57 8 1.26 55 12 38 2 0.88 2
Rainier Razorbacks HA! 38.2 2 0.47 34 6 22 3 0.72 4
NY NLF JFOH Hearts Tristan 51.2 5 0.87 37 14 36 2 0.97 2
Mully Gann Jr. RCL FIPping the Bird 61 11 1.62 64 16 47 4 1.03 8
Pog Champ Death by 5 x 5 65.2 13 1.78 59 14 49 7 0.96 5
Boro Ballers Early Birds 59 10 1.53 58 10 50 5 1.02 6
Truth Hurts Hunter’s Hitters 55.1 9 1.46 55 13 32 4 0.81 3
My Mustache Has A Mustache Lester’s RCL #2 71.2 16 2.01 63 17 53 5 0.98 9
Miggy likes Tanaka Few Back Rotokings 69 13 1.70 64 17 47 3 0.93 2

If you need an over the net friend you can follow J-FOH on Twitter.

 
  1. Grey

    Grey says:
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    Why do I love everything about Oddisee? Even his name is terrific, it’s like a cool Oddibe

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Grey: McDowell! Me too. It’s like odyssey but it’s Odd I See…then it was odd nick did not see how much we would like him. Nick always pushing his own hip hop agenda

      • Ralph Lifshitz

        Ralph Lifshitz says:
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        @J-FOH: Have you guys checked out his instrumental albums too? One of the few producers I can listen to on beats alone.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ralph, you knew him too and didn’t say anything?

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Ralph Lifshitz: yes I have, actually his instrumentals are what I heard first. Pete Rock has some solid intsrumental work as does Dan the Automater

          • Ralph Lifshitz

            Ralph Lifshitz says:
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            @J-FOH: Yeah J-Dilla’s instrumental stuff is dope too

          • Ralph Lifshitz

            Ralph Lifshitz says:
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            @J-FOH: Do we bring back HH Sunday this week?

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Ralph Lifshitz: text me and we can work it out

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Yeah, I want his name

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Grey: I would call you Grextacy

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Greyisee!

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: for sheezy!

              Greyplaya

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Gre Day

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Grey: Ggrrrr! if you had your own hip hop station it would be K-Grey

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    Ha, and only play Ice Cube cause that’s all LA hip hop stations play

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @Grey: K day isnt bad, they play lots of old shizz. Back in the day before you dropped anchor in LA, KDAY was all explicit. No radio edit here. it was bad as a motherf**ker

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      That’s cool, ain’t like that now…Now it’s Ice Cube followed by Guerrillas in the Mist followed by NWA followed by Ice Cube… I love it! (Seriously)

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @Grey: its the best hip hop station in LA, actually the only one, the rest are too much hip pop

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Totes, it’s the only one, no doubt

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      @Grey: hey we agree on something!

                      I think I talk to you so much on Tuesdays because I lose my shizz waiting for MC

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      It’s like the last day for Hanks on the island before someone rescues him and the volleyball

                    • J-FOH says:
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                      then does that make you my wilson?

  2. Scott says:
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    The Arab Empire used to own Spain (Hispania back then) in the 8th Century, so not too much of a stretch.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Scott:are you referencing the Moors, who have been referred to as muslim black africans.

      • Scott says:
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        @J-FOH: Yes, but they were governed by the Umayyad Caliphate.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Scott: true, but how many where black africans vs. how where arabs is hard to know. Either way, its interesting that they have tried hard to wipe that era from local histories in Europe.

  3. Scott says:
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    Why not just King Dong?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Scott: that works too, I’ll add to the list of options

  4. Udall says:
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    If the producers of The 13th Warrior got a 5 dollar bill for every time I’ve watched this movie on cable they’d be looking at Avatar box office ching.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Udall: hahaha, I’d owe them a benjamin

  5. Simply Fred

    Fred Barker says:
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    You NAILED the Too Sexy vid! True Story:
    Last year went to the Kelly and Michael show. Auditioned for the spotlight dance. Crowd went wild, but the producer banned me: “This is a family show.” (Likely my Madonna move.) :-)
    BTW: J-FOH you get lion’s share of credit for wins. Have been following your ‘Perts team. Copied your wont to have few SP, filling pitching slots with MR. With only six SP last week, luckily got 10 Ws, with many vulture Ws. Thank you, sir!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Fred Barker: the world is not ready for your dance moves on network TV. Youtube it!

      Drafting Box and Wade has been huge for the W’s, I have to wonder if every time Grey hates on Box he is just pissed I got a vulture W. 16 of my 49 wins are vultured and i love it. Screw the QS leagues. I played in one and even though we did both W’s and QS’s, it sucked. i think the QS lovers are just guys who can’t admit to the luck factor in fantasy. In what world is six innings and three runs good? because it’s not *puts soapbox away*

  6. Joe Shmoe says:
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    IKOR CHEW!!!

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Joe Shmoe: nice pitching week

  7. A Hill O' Beans says:
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    Nice rundown JFOH!

    This must have been a rough week for pitching lines since my team shows up and it was pretty close to an average week for me (maybe slightly above in ERA/WHIP). Now if only I’d stop hitting 4/34 every other day with no SB I might be able to get inside the top 25 overall.

  8. Kid A says:
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    I gotta ping you in here for a goddamn response?

    You’re turning into a real diva.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Kid A: sorry Im at trivia night at the bar.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Alex, I’ll take Heavy Metal Anthems for $500.

        • Kid A says:
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          @Grey:

          “Today’s Daily Double: Basic Parts of Speech”

          *Jackie Assumes Fetal Position*

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Ha! Final Jeopardy, Answer: Jackie drank too much.

            “What is in the bathroom?”

            We have a winner!

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: bonus question. What pitcher broke his arm after returning from cancer?

              This was a real question and I was the only one to get it right.

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                That’s like the saddest bar trivia question ever

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Grey: I told you the host was an unfunny comedian

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: hey I’m not sky

            • Kid A says:
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              @Grey: hahaha!

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Kid A: still saving for those ESL night classes

  9. Milarky says:
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    Hey H-FOH, for your top 100 hitters, is it for ROS, or is it just your rankings up to this point?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Milarky: it’s a combo where I lean more ros. Some guys are doing great now but will come back to earth while others are sleeping giants. I try to be fair with the reality of who they are. To be honest the bottom 15-20 are all interchangeable based on needs.

    • Milarky says:
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      @Milarky: @Milarky: Um, I mean J-FOH of course…

Comments are closed.