Julio Borbon has been running around like a chicken without its head or maybe Borbon is *pinkie to mouth* a Wild Turkey. Yesterday, he even hit a home run. The word out of the mean streets of Arlington was he’d sit once Cruz returned. Cruz returned. Borbon played. Natch! Will Borbon’s brilliance continue? Unfortunately, I don’t think so. He’s doing his best Mr. April, Emilio Bonifacio, impersonation (Flex, Bonifacio! Yeah, you are so Mr. April!) and we saw how long that lasted. While Borbon’s hot, own him like Angelina with 3rd world children, but in Triple-A, he had 2 homers in over 400 at-bats and a pretty terrible caught stealing percentage, so know that he’ll come crashing back to Earth like your unrealistic fear of meteors. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Drew Stubbs – 1-for-5, 3 Ks. He’s like a white Willie Mays Hayes. He was guessing on 0-2 counts like a pimple-faced, teenaged waiter guessing what’s in the meatloaf. Cain’s nasty and able, but Stubbs looked overmatched on every pitch. Keep in mind what I said yesterday, “In Triple-A, he had 104 Ks in 107 games.” And that’s me quoting me! But remember Willie Mays Hayes can run, so Stubbs still has value. Just know what you’re getting.
Gary Sheffield – Sheff was seen angrily wagging his walking papers at the Mets front office. He thinks he should get a contract; after all, he is their top home run hitter this year with 10. Sheff owners should want him on the Mets. Anywhere else, he’s not a cleanup hitter… He’s not even really an every day player.
Billy Wagner – Returned to action and looked dominant. He could end somewhere that includes saving games. Those in dire need of saves. You know the drill.
Justin Morneau – Oh-fer-geez, Morneau heads back up Nort to have his ear checked, dontchya know? May be headed to the DL. Uffdah!
James Shields – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 unearned runs, 9 baserunners. He should’ve mopped the Trop with the O’s like Carol Burnett. The way the O’s are playing you’d think they didn’t want Bryce Harper.
Ben Zobrist – HR yesterday. Might finally be coming out of the funk he’s been in.
Nolan Reimold – HR yesterday. First homer of August. Lately, he’s been almost as non-existent as his brother, Judge.
Jason Hammel – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners. I picked him up for this game. Ye of a sub-3 ERA away from Coors. Then I got cold feet and didn’t start him. Sonavabench!
Joe Blanton – 8 IP, 3 ER. Since I told you to buy him on June 24th, he has a 2.25 ERA in almost two months. Cust kayin’.
Brett Cecil – 4 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 2 Ks. You guys had a good run… *realizing he has a 4.82 ERA* You guys had an all right run… *realizing Cecil has a 1.58 WHIP* Wait, why do you own him?
Jon Lester – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks. Since I’m in that type of mood, on May 15th, I told you to get Lester. Since then, Lester has a 2.49 ERA. It’s hard to make this shizz up.
Marlon Byrd – 8 for his last 19 as he hit two homers yesterday to give him 14 on the year. This Byrd you cannot cage…
Kendry Morales – Hit his 27th homer. He’s having some kind of season. It’s about time, too… Wait a second, he’s listed as 26 years old? Oh, c’mon. He’s easily a Latin 28. Remember that when you’re considering him for keepers.
Wandy Rodriguez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. Last time out, the Wandwagon’s horse had a nail in its hoof. Well, that horse is now glue and the Wandwagon rolls again.
Kyle Blanks – Has three homers in the last four games. He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell. On the right side of the slash, which is the left.
J.D. Drew – 4-for-4 with 2 HRs yesterday. After the game, a reporter asked Drew if he’s changed his approach. He said, “No, I just love my Mom more than Stephen.”
Kenshin Kawakami – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks. Guess who it was against? Meet the Mets, meet the Mets… Step right up and beat the Mets. Start your rookies, contact your bookies… They’re worse than your local Chinese restaurant’s almond cookies.
