I’ve officially had it with head-to-head points leagues. That’s right. You heard me. I’ve finally encountered the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or should I say the Strawberry that broke the camel’s back since this is baseball. Or since this is Razzball perhaps I should say the Strawberry that did all my cocaine while I was taking a piss. I just can’t believe that he had the nerve to blame it on Lenny Dykstra. Speaking of Dykstra, have any of your heard him on Howard Stern the past year. The guy is seriously messed up.
So what’s got my panties in bunch? I’ll tell you. As I’ve mentioned several times over the past few years, I cannot stand how much of a role luck plays in head-to-head leagues. This goes for football too. The quintessential example is when your team has an awesome week and scores 400 points. Unfortunately (or unluckily), you played the only team in the league that scored more points than you. The next highest scoring team had 295 points. Meanwhile there was one team that scored 210 points, but they happened to play a team that scored 205. So at the end of the week the team that scored 210 points gets a win and you end up with a 400 point loss. It’s total bullshift.
For those that want to make the argument that it eventually averages out, it doesn’t. It’s completely random. And for those that want to make the even worse argument that this happens in real sports all the time, no it doesn’t. I real sports if the Yankees beat the Red Sox 15-14, it was the Red Sox pitching and defense that gave up those 15 runs. The Red Sox have themselves to blame. In head-to-head sports you have no defense. None. The fact that your opponent scored 401 points is completely out of your control.
So at the end of the season the standings essentially are decided by the luck of the draw of the schedule. Take a look at your schedule and the results. Now switch around the teams you played each week and you can easily turn your 10-12 record into a 19-3 record with little effort. I really hate to rehash a subject I have talked out before, but I am beyond mad right now.
Here’s why. I’m in a ten-team head-to-head points league. I finished with the most points, but I ended the season in fifth place. Only four teams make the playoffs. I also had the best breakdown record. The breakdown record is what your record would be if you played every team every week. This has always been my meter of which teams are the best teams in the league. So what I am saying is the best team (my team) did not make the playoffs. How the fark is that possible? I’ll tell you how. I had the most points against!
I came dangerously close to smashing my laptop Sunday night when the result were final. Then I remembered it was my laptop and doing so would only further aggravate me. After a few hazy New England Double IPAs, I realized that unless that league is willing to make a rule that the team with either the most points or best breakdown record is automatically in the playoffs, that it was time to end my 17 year career in said league.
For the record, I have no interest in Ryan Borucki. I used his name solely to conjure up this post’s title.
Kendrys Morales is fools gold. Speaking of gold, remember early in the season when everyone was panicking about Paul Goldschmidt and were ready to sell him for a rub and tug from Yu Darvish‘s wife. Look at him now. Goldschmidt has 30 home runs and a .292 batting average, giving him the fourth most points (372) among first basemen.
Tyler White is averaging a little more than 18 points a week over the last three weeks.
If I’m being honest I really just wanted to rant this week. If you have any questions, please ask.
Follow malamoney on Twitter at @malamoney