Jenny Craig Upset About Son’s Foot And Replacement’s Belly

September 6, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 192 Comments

The news is good, Allen Craig is in a walking boot and on crutches. Yay! Sorry, I should’ve said the news was good for people who don’t own Allen Craig. *smacks forehead with palm of hand* Geez, I’m such a huckleberry! So, this means the new Cardinals first baseman is… Please, open door number one! Actually, all I see is his elbow. Could you open door number two, as well? Hmm, still missing his right side. Go ahead and open door number three, too. There he is… Matt Adams! I’ve teased Adams a lot about his girth and that ain’t right, even if right and girth are anagrams. Adams isn’t out of shape…if watermelon is a shape! The zaftig Madams will be playing first for as long as Craig can’t and I’d grab Adams in all leagues where I needed power. He could hit five homers the rest of the way if Craig stays sidelined until the playoffs. As of right now, there’s no word on how much time Craig will need. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Bear or Bull: 2013 Review, Hitters

September 5, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 8 Comments

by: Jay

As another baseball season winds down, we have a chance to reflect on our own journey in this wonderful game. Perhaps you, the reader, ponder of such things like — What did I do wrong? What did I do right? Why did I listen to Jaywrong? Or, better yet, why didn’t I listen to Jaywrong? Right? RIGHT! Regardless, we’re here to look back on the first year of the Bear or Bull series, and walk that same line of reflection and get an idea of how everything looks as the 2013 pieces fall into place. How did the process work, and did it do a good job? Are there ways to make the analysis better? Was I Jayright? Was I Jaywrong? More importantly, was I Jaysexy? Trick question, I’m always Jaysexy. Maybe we’ll learn something on the way. Or maybe we’ll just go over to the Football side of Razzball. My question is, why not both?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Starlin-Cut Desmond: Part Two

September 5, 2013 | fantasy baseball keepers | 33 Comments

by: Terse

You’re the only one here. And I’m talking directly to you. You, unlike so many who lost their fateful battle with attrition and the baseball season’s relentless length that still persists, are still frequenting fantasy baseball sites because you, Great One, have made your fantasy league’s playoffs. You’re currently face-to-face, hand-to-hand with some scum who dares vie to destroy you and ruin your winter — except, of course, for fantasy football. You, my friend, are smarter than everyone else — you’ve gotten this far and there’s no looking back now. You’re so close to victory and a bundle of jelly beans and winter-long cloud-nine, you… oh, you’re not in the playoffs? That’s why you’re reading a fantasy-keepers column? Your winter’s already ruined and you’re here to commiserate with fellow losers and quixotically dream big about 2014 and the glory it will bring you? Now, now, we’re here. We’re here to help you pick the right keepers for next year. Loser.

I, though, am not in your boat — and if I was, I wouldn’t tell you, because I have a credibility to hold. I write a lot about fantasy baseball and therefore am pretty good at it, so I’m in the playoffs in three out of four leagues. But, with just as much of-courseness as my not being in your boat, I’m also a keeper writer, so write about keepers I will. Because I love you. I… love… you, poor fantasy player. I love you. Let’s figure out how to salvage 2013.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ménage-o-Val

September 5, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 446 Comments

by: Grey

After Pablo Sandoval hit three homers in a World Series game last year, he sat down with Reggie Jackson for a conversation in December. Reggie wanted to know what the experience was like for him and to tell him his own. By the end of the conversation, Pablo was near tears, he whispered to Reggie, barely able to get the words out, “The fans threw candy bars onto the field?” Pablo Sandoval’s like the condensed milk version of Jay Bruce. It’s not really milk, but it’s real sweet and kinda tastes like milk and frosting and it gets crazy hot for one game a year. Jesus, Pablo (no relation to Jesus Guzman), if I would’ve known all it took to get you hot was to say you’re droppable, I would’ve done it in April. He still cost a lot of people their fantasy seasons, and is probably on a lot of teams that are out of the race, but, if you have him, you gotta hope this is the start of something. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

LATE SEASON AUDIT: Top 25 Fantasy Baseball Prospects for 2013

September 4, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Prospects | 35 Comments

by: Scott Evans

This is always painful, but it’s also necessary. What follows is a look back at my preseason prospect rankings — a self audit, if you will. To be clear, this isn’t a re-ranking or anything, but it should suffice to remind all of you that I am mostly stupid. Please keep in mind that these guys are very early in their careers, and there is plenty of time for each to either figure it out, or get figured out. Anyway, let’s cut to it. Here’s the list as it appeared back in February:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Razzball Podcast — The One Where We Do A 2014 Fantasy Baseball Mock Draft

September 4, 2013 | All Podcasts | 248 Comments

by: Grey

So this is the next to last baseball podcast of the regular season. There’s still a big gala podcast at the end of the year. LT usually comes wearing a toga and carrying a chicken. Last year, JB wore a tuxedo and we all pointed and laughed, Smokey brought his sponsor and Nick flew down with a couple of Canadian beavers and a bottle of maple syrup… good times, sticky, but good. But for this episode we wanted to give you something punchy, something current… so what did Nick do? He went and did a 2014 mock draft with JB for all of you people out of it. I wonder where JB drafted Ryan Dempster. I’d give it a listen while I made Josh Hamilton and Jason Heyward voodoo dolls. (Good thing you’re not making an Andrew McCutchen voodoo doll because dreads are real tough to make for a doll; not that I’d know… I hate you, Whoopi Goldberg doll!). So with all your hope gone, Nick decided to shine a teeny, tiny little flashlight (the kind you can clip to your belt buckle) of hope on your otherwise dreary fantasy baseball day. Miggy or Trout at #1? Who’s the first pitcher off the board? Does Paul Goldschmidt go 3rd? Also this week is the FINAL “Play with Rudy from Razzball” contest over at Draft Kings and Nick sold one of his kidneys to get them to put more money in the kitty. He tried to sell his liver, but the black market doctor just laughed at him. After the black market doctor patted his brow, why are shady doctors always sweaty? Put on a fan! Get in the contest, it’s cheaper than chipping in for Nick’s kidney surgery! Anyway, here’s the Razzball Podcast (now with JB subbing in as ‘we’):

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DraftKings – Out With A Bang With Rudy Whimpering

September 4, 2013 | DraftKings | 11 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

Razzball Nation! As promised, we have a huge DraftKings contest this week – by far our biggest prize pool – with DraftKings throwing us a RAZZBALL END OF YEAR SHOWDOWN which you can only get into through this link. I won’t beat around the bush – it’s $10 per entry this week – 50 total spots open with up to 2 per user – with a pay structure of #1 nabbing $300, 2nd place $100, 3rd $50, 4th $30 and 5-6 will break even with $10. With that money you can pop a lotta tags! Using my abacus, you can count up the prize pool makes no money for DraftKings, just one huge bash for Razzball Nation to duke it out one final time for a huge cash prize. A lot of the Razzball family will be in there, so you’ll have to bring your A game to beat us (and well, your D game to beat Rudy).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

No Cocoa Butter For My Asche-y Needs

September 4, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 196 Comments

by: Grey

I’ve been mentioning him here and there in the blurb sections of the roundups, but I can’t wait until Friday’s Buy, or until the offseason when I’m gonna gush over him in a sleeper post. I love Cody Asche. I love him for everything he is, and for everything he’s not. One thing he’s not is on many, if anyone’s radar. He’s not even owned in 1% of ESPN leagues, though once Matthew Berry picks him up on 24,000 of his teams that number will shoot up to 99% owned. Yesterday, Asche went 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and his 3rd homer in 28 games. Prorate that over a full season and he’s hitting 40 homers– Wait, I had my calculator to Chris Davis math. Okay, so it’s only about 15-20 homers, but he can also steal 10 bases and should hit around .290. He’s like a modern day Eric Hosmer, if Eric Hosmer weren’t already modern day. I remixing The Game for this Outkast and Asche’s to Asche’s, ah ha, don’t make me hush this fuss! Why do I love him for this year, but much more for 2014 fantasy baseball? The Phillies need to move towards the future, and Asche will have a starting job, and get drafted in the late 200’s in most mixed leagues, but have the upside of a 70/17/82/.285/10 player. Yes, I just gave you my first 2014 projection. Cody Asche, you make me excited, let’s cuddle. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Et Tu Bruce, Jay?

September 3, 2013 | OPS Leagues | 14 Comments

by: Tom Jacks

I never know what to expect from Jay Bruce on a weekly basis. He’s been killing me softly the past month (or really, season), but it always feels like he might turn things around instantly. Is there a term for when a fantasy baseball owner is afraid to bench a great player out of fear of retribution? Or is that simply good old fashioned passive-aggressiveness? I’m not sure if it’s better to have “streaky” players in a head-to-head league or not. Theoretically, they could kill your team in a given week, but they could also save it. Maybe it’s just about having a good balance. What are your thoughts on “streaky” players? Anyway, Bruce has been alright, but is fairly underwhelming in an OPS league, considering his likely price on draft day. I’m thinking about jumping off the ship next year and letting somebody else grab him, but then he would probably make me regret it. There he goes again with that passive-aggressive behavior! Here are some other players on my mind who may or may not stab you in the back:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RCL Update: September 3

September 3, 2013 | Our Leagues | 10 Comments

by: VinWins

A Hill O’ Beans bounced back and regained top spot after just a week in second. My Mustache Has a Mustache hit .321 this week with 12 home runs and 10 steals, while on the pitching side they recorded excellent ratios with a 2.12 ERA and 1.09 WHIP. Mauledbypandas improved by 8-tenths of a point, but it wasn’t enough to hold on to first place. Should be a fun battle the final four weeks with several other teams close enough to challenge for the championship.

Check out the Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. The page now includes sortable stats.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

A Salt To Their Battery

September 3, 2013 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 433 Comments

by: Grey

Charlie Morton‘s start yesterday of 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks wasn’t incredible in itself, but other than Lenny from Laverne and Shirley when he was wearing a Lone Wolf jacket and Burgess Meredith when he broke his glasses on The Twilight Zone, nothing in this world is to itself. There’s befores and afters, causes and effects and chewy watermelon Now and Laters. Morton has now strung together six straight starts and nine of his last ten, dropping his ERA to 3.00. His K-rate isn’t particularly inspiring, but his walk rate is more than solid and his xFIP is 3.62, which tells us he’s not that far from a guy you start every time out. With all of that said, I still don’t trust him for his next start vs. the Cardinals, but then he gets the Cubs and Padres, and for those two starts, I’d absolutely gamble that Morton is worth his salt. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Pitcher Profile – Joe Kelly’s Heroes

September 2, 2013 | Pitcher Profiles | 19 Comments

by: JB Gilpin

I remember as a kid trying to watch Kelly’s Heroes with my dad, and not understanding any of it. I mean, it didn’t have a Wookie. Reading over that Wikipedia synopsis, sounds a lot like Three Kings that came out almost 3 decades later. Nothing original in Hollywood anymore!

But to baseball, Joe Kelly has some heroes of his own. First there’s the Cardinals developmental system that seems to churn out pitching prospects that can throw upper 90’s faster than Hollywood sequel greenlights. Then there’s the Cardinals offense that leads the NL in runs scored by 53. Using his rag-tag unit of pitching coaches, arguably the best catcher in the game Yadier Molina, and an offense ready to give him a lead every game out, can Joe Kelly help you steal the gold in a fantasy title? I tuned into his start yesterday in Pittsburgh to break down how he looks and if he can be a wildcard contributor to your final fantasy push:

Please, blog, may I have some more?