Players are going to play, play, play, play, play, play. The haters are going to hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. And Grey’s going to hate Matt Holliday. Shake it off! I’ve been waiting for years to write this post. Just biding my time, rubbing my fingers together like an animated villain. If you look at me real fast, twirling my mustache, plotting Holliday’s schmohawk post, you might see the human incarnate of Snidely Whiplash. Each year, I’d look at Holliday and see a guy that consistently put up fantasy stats with dashing good looks. A regular Dudley Do-Right. They even both wear red and ride a horse. Holliday’s horse is, of course, his chauffeur, Carlos Lee. Dudley Do-Right is a Canadian Mountie, and Holliday is from Oklahoma, which is a known hatchery for Mounties. Regularly, you hear about Oklahomans being kidnapped into the Mountie army. Like how the North Koreans kidnap the Japanese. (I saw a documentary on this.) The similarities are endless! But, now, Holliday, you’re 35 years old, you can’t move as fast, and you’re mine! Also, out of 35 ‘perts polled (say that fast 117 times!), I had Holliday ranked lower than everyone, so obviously I needed to write this post. It was my duty! (Hehe, I said duty.) So, what makes Matt Holliday overrated for 2015 fantasy baseball?
If this were last July, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. You remember how many homers he had through the All-Star break? Nope, lower. Lower still. Even lower. No, not a negative three. Denard Span doesn’t even have a negative three in homers. C’mon, stop stirring your Kool-Aid with a broken pair of scissors and think! Holliday had six homers through July 13th. If you owned Holliday last year, you lost your league. How soon we all forget. Or maybe you don’t want to remember. I could understand that since he fake-babied up your best picture of excellence. Sure, he turned it on in the 2nd half to get to 20 homers on the year. And what if he doesn’t this year? His homers per fly ball has fallen for three straight years. At some point, he’s going to be a 16 homer hitter. What could do it? Well (said like Ronald Reagan), for years his back has been about as cranky as you prior to your morning coffee. That back of his could finally give out. It’s not like his stats are saying, “Come here and be my muffin.” His slugging percentage has dropped five straight years. His line drive rate is in the gutter. He moves around on the bases like he’s a distant cousin of the Molinas; call him Honkey Molina. From August 27th to the end of the season, he hit eight homers, a .307 average and 23 RBIs. Up until the end of August, he had 12 homers and a .263 average with 77 RBIs. You’re telling me you want a guy that could have 12 homers and a .263 average through five months? Why not just draft Yunel Escobar? And you want Holliday so bad you’re willing to draft him in the top 70 overall? A 35-year-old that is obviously in decline? Don’t let Do-Right do it to you again!