But the White Sox were able to go back-to-back-to-back-to-back. That’s quadrupling your pleasure. Or double-double-headed. Which makes you say whoopee for fantasy baseball, right? Seriously, you say whoopee. Yeah, you do. You and Bob Eubanks. But if someone asks you the most romantic place you’ve ever made whoopee, don’t say, “Up the butt.” Now there was something in the middle of this landmark real baseball feat that you should take notice of — Paul Konerko. Nooo! Don’t talk about Konerko again. Sorry, but he has three home runs and a plus-.300 average in August. Buh-buh-buh… Ugh! Most importantly for our purposes, Guillen can’t quit Konerko. That’s right, Konerko’s been getting starts. If you need cheap lumber, cut down your neighbor’s tree, but if you want a cheap power source, try out Konerko. He might be the double-headed pleasure seeker you need. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Troy Percival/Grant Balfour/Dan Wheeler – Percival left the ninth with a knee sprain. Balfour tried to say, “Hey, dudes, I got this one.” Only he didn’t leave to the slow clap as much as the hanging-head-of-shame. I grabbed Wheeler where I had room.

Brad Ziegler – Orel Hershiser laughs maniacally, removing the pin from his Zielger doll.

Aramis Ramirez – HR yesterday, but injured his hip later in the game. He’s day-to-day, which shouldn’t be confused with Soul II Soul.

Jerry Hairston Jr. – Supposed to return for Friday’s game. He sure has got a lot of press lately. Guys, if I may call you that even though there might be chicks here, Hairston’s not really a .343 hitter. Cust kayin’.

Rocco Baldelli – Guess why I’m writing his name. Go ahead. I’ll wait. *scratches nose, itches head, dusts off my framed picture of Michael J. Fox* Baldelli’s injured! Dur.

Jason Kendall – From The Files of the Unfair:  Because of a game started clause, Kendall will earn 4.25 million next year. WTF?!

Chris Iannetta – Yorvit Torrealba has a small tear in his knee. If there was any concern about Iannetta’s playing time, this helps.

Ryan Franklin – Got the save yesterday, but that was just so they didn’t overuse Perez. Never fear, Razzballers.

Brad Penny – Returns to the DL. Nomar, “See, this healthy thing ain’t so easy… Ow! I juth bit my lip when I said eathy. Thee!”

Todd Wellemeyer – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER. Dave Duncan says, “I’ll see your Mazzone and I’ll do it without the rocking back and forth.”

Chris Dickerson – The first cheap steal schmohawk in yesterday’s post went 3-for-5 with two doubles and a triple. Sometimes recently called-up players excel while pitchers try and figure them out. Dickerson might be one of those, so he may have even more value now than later. There will be a Buy/Sell later today as there is every Friday afternoon, and I may just beat my Dick…er, um, what was I saying–erson later today. Tasteful!

  1. Irish says:

    As awesome as Balfour has been this year, don’t you think he’ll get a little slack in the closer role? Would you drop Isringhausen for Wheeler?

  2. wakeNbake says:

    youd grab Wheeler over Balfour?

  3. BSA says:

    Public Service Announcement –
    Do not read Razzball updates while half asleep. I had to read about Iannetta twice because I thought he had the tear, then I had a tear thinking what else could go wrong.

  4. BSA says:

    A guy that just traded me Atkins and McLouth had ARam as his third baseman. I am now stacked at third with Davis, Alexei, and Atkins, and Wright.

    I am thinking of offering a third baseman for Beckett. Is it worth it to move Wright?

    My infield is Iannetta, Fielder, Utley, Tulo. With the slump I would probably drop Davis and move Alexei into third.

    My pitching staff sucks due to injuries and failing returns from injury – Young, Myers, Harang, Billingsley (bright spot), Liriano. I had Bedard, Hudson, and Lincee. Lincee was moved last week for Bills.

  5. SaltyBiscuits says:

    @BSA: I would do everything possible to not trade David Wright at this point.

    Every year he goes on a streak where he is the best player in baseball, he hasn’t yet. It is coming. Also, he is a monster in all around production.

    However, re-reading your post it seems that in order to get a stud, Wright would be the one that makes sense to move.

    But in my mind, it never makes sense to move D. Wright.

    This ambiguously unhelpful response was brought to you by Capitol One. What’s in your wallet?

  6. SaltyBiscuits says:

    So… Carlos Guillen is an asshole. And probably going on the DL. And I was probably going to drop his asshole ass anyway. My playoffs start 9/1 and I am pretty sure I am going to make it, so I need a SS.

    We do H2H Points Based, here are offensive point values:

    BB: 1 pt, 1B: 1 pt, 2B: 2 pt, 3B: 3pt, HR: 4 pt, R: 1 pt, RBI: 1 pt, SB: 2 pt.

    Here are my view of the top available free agents:

    Orlando Cabrera
    J.J. Hardy
    Alexei Ramirez
    Jerry Hairston
    Ryan Theriot
    Yunel Escobar
    Edgar Renteria

    There’s lots more and you can probably guess the scrubs in our SS free agency pool.

    Anyway, Carlos Guillen is an asshole.

  7. BSA says:

    I heard you and thought about the reality is he could plug Mora in as stopgap. Thanks Salty!

  8. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Irish: Wheeler’s also been awesome and he’s been consistently the 8th inning man while Balfour has been the 7th. Managers usually just push their guys up an inning. Not to say Balfour might not get the occasional save (or even Howell), but I think Wheeler slides right in.

    @Steve: “Does Hanley + Burrell for Holliday + Tulo make sense?” — No, I wouldn’t do that.

    @wakeNbake: See my response to Irish.

    @BSA: I wouldn’t move Wright. Can’t you move Atkins and Davis?

    @SaltyBiscuits: “And I was probably going to drop his asshole ass anyway.” — Ha!

    Kinda depends what you need from your SS, but all things being equal, I’d rank them:

    Alexei, Hairston, Polanco (who you don’t have listed, but is usually in the crap heap), Theriot, Hardy, Escobar, punt.

  9. BSA says:

    Yeah, cleared my head woke up and said WTF are you thinking? Wright will stay and I’ll probably flip Atkins right back for a pitcher. Pitchers are tough right now because so many high profilers are getting either dinged up or shut down with a hang nail.

  10. Doug Ault says:

    @Grey: I’d take 320 from son of Hairston ;-)

  11. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Doug Ault: Considering he’s a .260 lifetime hitter in over 2700 major league at-bats, I think he’d take .320 as well.

  12. Steve says:

    @Grey: How about if I added Al-Ram on my side and he added BJ Upton on his?

  13. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Yeah, that would do the trick.

    ******Take followups to the newest post.

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