More guys this year than any other year just fell below 130 ABs, the Rookie of the Year threshold that I use for these fantasy baseball rookie outlook post-ma-whosies. Dansby Swanson, Josh Bell, A.J. Reed, dot dot dot, well, I guess that’s it, but still that’s a lot from what I remember, though, to be fair, it’s not like ‘how many guys just fell short of losing rookie eligibility’ is something I’d remember from past years. Though, there might be something to a guy being on a team for 45 games and losing rookie eligibility which could be Dansby and Reed, but that’s not the criteria I use. This is more pedantic than an employee meeting at the Apple Store to tell employees that they are now to call the store “Apple” and not “Apple Store.” (The preceding was an actual Apple employee discussion from what I heard. I’d tell you who told me but then that Apple employee would be killed. They don’t play.) So, onto Josh Bell. Why does he sound so familiar? His name rings a…what’s the word for one of those clangy things? I’m having a brain… What’s it called when you poop air? Oh, I know, he’s one of the top Pirate hitter prospects who came up this year and hit a grand slam in his 2nd career at-bat as a pinch hitter. A pinch hitter because C*nt Hurdle kept going with John Jaso Jingleheimer Schmidt at 1st base. Why call up Bell when they had no intention of playing him? Will Bell play? Let’s segue this bizzatch into the 2nd paragraph… Anyway, what can we expect from Josh Bell for 2017 fantasy baseball?
I’m happy to be the InnnnnFORMer that the white man, dreadlocked John Ja-Snow won’t be the primary 1st baseman next year. Though, neither may be Bell — Maybe Bell also sounds like a grammy who makes a mean shoofly pie and jam cake — sorry, I’m in the middle of a Justified marathon. Bell could play all over the field along with Ja-Snow. Yay, more options for Hurdle. If “jumping Hurdle’s logic and reasoning” were an Olympic event it would be impossible to train for and the winner would the fantasy owner who slammed their head against a wall the most while somehow David Freese wins a bronze. Bell’s going to be 25 in August of 2017, so, I’m gonna say if Hurdle doesn’t play Bell this year, he’s never playing him. Weird when four of five guys on the pitching staff are only 24 years old and Bell can’t get into the lineup. Or is it weird? Why exactly would I say it’s weird when it’s not? Okay, maybe it’s not weird because Bell is making it hard for Hurdle to play him? Why would he be making it hard to play him? Do I have any statements or only questions? Bell could be making it hard to play him because he doesn’t have a 1st baseman-type profile. You know who his stats kinda look like? This is gonna hurt to say: John Jaso. Last year, in 114 games in Triple-A, Bell hit 14 homers, stole 3 bags and hit .295. Bell’s power did spike up last year after doing next to nothing previously — 7 HRs in 2015 between Double and Triple-A. He has always been able to maintain a strong contact rate and if he can continue to grow into power, he could be Joey Votto or Todd Helton. Those both seem like pie-in-the-sky, an-ant-can’t-lift-a-rubber-tree-plant-but-he’s-got-high-hopes-type projections. Obviously, the realistic and floor projection is Jaso. For 2017, I’ll give Josh Bell the projections of 54/15/52/.281/3 in 407 ABs with, sadly, more downside than upside due to his likely constant movement around the lineup and field and low ceiling on power.