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Hanley Ramirez is done for this year with shoulder instability.  He may even need surgery, which would hurt him for next year.  I went over this a bit in yesterday’s roundup.  Not sure how many of you saw that post because I switched the website server so we could be faster, but now we might be too fast because I don’t know if we’re coming or going.  The doctor said Hanley’s shoulder was so tender that he fears that local Cubans may mistake it for lechon.  “Stop dipping me in mojo sauce!”  If you have Hanley in a redraft league, I imagine you’re already reading our fantasy football section, but if you’re not, it’s safe to drop Hanley.  In fact, drop him on his shoulder for good measure.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Josh Johnson – Officially done for the year.  Backdate that to May.  The Palm Beach Post, which I believe has the best shuffleboard sports columnist in Yitz Kunkel, reported that Johnson should be good to go for next year’s spring training.  That’s like saying a 99-year-old has a good chance at seeing 100.  I mean, it’s possible.  But c’mon.  Let’s see Johnson get through more than two months before saying he’ll be good for 2012.  A Johnson hasn’t been this battered since Lorena Bobbit took a job at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Shin-Soo Choo – To the DL.  Ironic that he was stopped for a DUI because he makes me want to drink.

Gio Gonzalez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Sonavabench!  All I ask is if you’re gonna be bad as in bad not bad as in good then be bad.

Cliff Pennington – 4-for-5, 3 RBIs with his 12th steal.  He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  It’s one part shock, one part awe and a good helping of shamalangadingdong.

Coco Crisp – 3-for-5 with his 39th steal.  If I would’ve just drafted all breakfast foods — Melky, Coco Crisp, Eggsbury with Halladay’s — I would’ve had a decent team.

Vance Worley – 6 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Wasn’t terrific, but wasn’t quite a shellacking, which is good cause you’d need nail polish remover to get that off your fantasy team.

Wilson Valdez – 2-for-4, hitting over .300 in the last week.  Also, he was able to impart some solace to a young fan, Billy Beepee, that his last name won’t always conjure up a man-made disaster.

Eric Hosmer – 3-for-3 with his 3rd homer in two days and his 8th steal.  A Canadian Hosmer fantasy owner, “Take off, you Hosmer!

Mike Moustakas – 2-for-5, hitting .333 over the last week.  Royal fans thinking about their future years where they’re not the laughingstock of the MLB are gonna have some Moistakas.

Magglio Ordonez – 3-for-4 with a homer and a steal.  Did he drive a DeLorean to the ballpark?

Austin Jackson – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 8th homer.  Austin Jackson keeps hitting like this and he’s gonna get sued by Carl Weathers or have to return Vanity’s calls.   It’s time for “Austin!”

Brett Lawrie – 3-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs, his 7th homer and 4th steal while batting .340.  That’s 7 homers, 15 runs and 20 RBIs in only 26 games, BTW.  FWIW, WTF, WOW.  Hey, Jennings, there’s a new mayor in Fantasy Baseball Heartthrob Town and his name is Brett Lawrie.

Kelly Johnson – 3-for-4, his 2nd homer in as many games while batting .367 on the Blue JaysAaron Hill who?!  I know, Henry Hill.  I know, Mr. Underhill.  I do not know any Aaron Hill.

Yunel Escobar – 8 for his last 11 with three runs and two RBIs.  To put all of these crazy Blue Jays hits in perspective, they were facing the bottom of the Orioles rotation.  And there’s no top.

Vladimir Guerrero – 3-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 11th homer.  After the game, Vlad said he was offended by the new show, Russian Dolls, because there’s not one Russian Dominican.

Dana Eveland – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  This start looks good on paper, but he doesn’t.  A 4.38 ERA in Triple-A with a 6.25 K-rate.  With apologies to our three lady readers, Dana throws like a girl.

Alex Presley – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and a homer.  Hasn’t done much in a while, but he has been playing every day so the opportunity is there.  Stay tuned!  Or not.  Your call.

Yovani Gallardo – He had 8 Ks and gave up 4 homers in 4 2/3 innings.  It’s like he’s only facing Mark Reynolds.

Corey Hart – Member how I said yesterday he was one of the hottest hitters in the 2nd half so far?  Guess who homered again?  His name sounds like Horey Cart.

Rafael Furcal – Now has homers in 2 consecutive games and is hitting .320 over the last week.  If you’re hurting at middle infidel, he’s worth a look before he’s hurting.

Albert Pujols – 4-for-4, 5 RBIs, 3 runs and two homers.  Only thing missing from the superfecta was a steal.

Jair Jurrjens – He’s going to see a knee specialist this weekend.  I hope the doctor’s name is Neal.

Chipper Jones – Glass Chipper has now homered in consecutive games.  Better than pulling a hammy in consecutive games, I suppose.

Tim Hudson – 6 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks as he continues his great under-the-radar season.  I need more of those.  So much better than the terrible over-the-radar seasons I seem to be getting from others.

Mike Leake – 6 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks and the Reds are about to shut him down for the year.  Crotchety Old Man, “I wish I could shut down a leak without the help of a urologist.”

Juan Francisco – 0-for-3, was recalled and got the start at 3rd base.  Rolen-Hurty, the Juan Francisco treat!  In 300 ABs in Triple-A this year, Francisco had 15 homers and a .307 average with only 10 walks.  Then, in a surprise move, Juan actually drew a base on balls yesterday.  Well, it looked like a flattened hat sitting on top of a peach, but he said it was a base on balls.

  1. SpecialFNK says:

    yahoo, roto, 5×5, 12 team, winners league.
    1st place with 7.5 lead, but could still use offensive help as it’s fairly close in R/HR/RBI/SB.

    Hanley will be dropped. been using multiple players at SS. currently have Furcal and MIzturis. I can pick up Dee Gordon who is now back for LA. the SB will be nice. I can pick up Gordon and drop Barajas (backup catcher recently, starter is McCann).

    I might as well pick up someone else to put on the DL. who would be a better to pick up.. Sizemore or Kipnis?

    rest of team..
    CA- McCann. 1B- Butler. 2B- Phillips. 3B- Freese. SS- Furcal. OF- Granderson. OF- Bruce. OF- DYoung. UT- Tabata. UT- Freeman. BN- Trout, Thames, MIzturis, Barajas.
    SP- Lincecum. SP- Hamels. RP- Valverde. RP- Axford. P- Betancourt. P- Melancon. P- Cain. P- Masterson. BN- Santana

  2. knighttown says:

    Fural or Seager at Middle Infidel. Or dare I say Clifford Pennington III if I’m reading your allusion to today’s buy-sell correctly.

    I don’t need steals at all. Average, runs and RBIs.

  3. Robert says:

    @Grey- Would you drop David Wright for Dayan Viciedo?

  4. Lobball says:

    Mornin’: Grey,

    I need to drop one of these slumpers: Gardner or Tabata?

    Also who is the better stream tomorrow: McCarthy vs SEA or Minor vs LAD? Thanks

  5. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    Grey….Lawrie is definitely my hero right now.Im in 1st place in a 10 team points league and along w/ Pujols,my lineup revolves around Jennings,Hosmer,Trumbo,Ellsbury,Gordon and Lawrie ….I also have Beachy,Worley and Kimbrel.Its a bunch of rookies plus a guy who barely played last yr and a perennial disappointment.

    better p/u for tommorow….Bailey @STL or Bedard vs TEX?

  6. Tony says:

    shamalamadingdong, great song….

    thats all i’ve got since my teams are in the gutters this year, first year in the past 6? i haven’t made the playoffs…. bring on 2012!

  7. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: let me rephrase that last question since I know you still dont trust Bailey….

    I may p/u them both.Would either be a TERRIBLE idea?

  8. Sawx10 says:


    Drop Andrus for Furcal?

  9. Oilcan Giuseppe says:

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: btw….12 team 5×5


  10. Matt says:

    Should I drop Leo Nunez for Javy Guerra?

  11. prince of dahkness says:

    I want to pickup a utility guy in a H2H points league…. Hosmer, Viciedo, Duda, or Thames?

  12. prince of dahkness says:

    Or Alex Presley?

  13. dingbat says:

    That Brewers/Cardinals game was ridiculous. All runs scored via home runs, and the pitchers from both teams combined to record 23 strikeouts. 7 HRs and 23Ks in one game has got to be some kind of meaningless record, right?

  14. papasmurf says:

    My season started in late July when Jennings came up, then Lawrie. Can’t wait till 2012.

  15. Kevin says:

    with injuries to hanson and jurrjens, who is most likely to be more valuable for the next few weeks? Teheran or Delgado..


  16. trick dad says:

    hey grey- who should I ride at Util for the next 2 weeks:
    D. Murphy, Ethier, Thames, Damon, Wells, Fowler?
    Thanks man!

  17. Deadwoods says:

    Peralta or Pennington for the playoffs starting next week? Thanks.

  18. Tommy the D says:

    Chris Perez, J. Soria, J. Walden. Did I rank’em correctly for ROS?

  19. peter says:

    The site is loading much, MUCH faster.

    Carl Weathers on Austin Jackson, “He got himself a stew goin’!”

  20. Grey

    Grey says:

    @SpecialFNK: Sizemore

    @knighttown: Furcal

    @Robert: Nope

    @Lobball: Tabata…McCarthy

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: Nice! Bailey…

    @Tony: Yeah, hasn’t been a great year.

    @Oilcan Giuseppe: I wouldn’t pick up either.

    @Sawx10: Nope

    @Matt: Sure

    @prince of dahkness: Hosmer

    @dingbat: Ha…Yeah, maybe.

    @papasmurf: I hear ya.

    @Kevin: Teheran

    @trick dad: Ethier

    @Deadwoods: Pennington for steals, Peralta for power…

    @Tommy the D:

    @peter: Yeah, seems to be right? Comments seem to be right too. Ha!

  21. birdis78 says:

    Would you drop Uggla for Lawrie for a UTIL slot in a 10 team, 1 Year H2H league? Currently in first round of playoffs…

    Here’s my offense:
    C: McCann, 1B: A-Gon, 2B: Kinsler, 3B: Wright, SS: Andrus, OF: J-Upton, Morse, Jennings, UTIL: Uggla, Bench: Lind

  22. AL KOHOLIC says:

    grey ,presley, mouse, trout or big vlad

  23. Eng says:

    ROS, Oswalt or Latos?

  24. Long Bawls says:

    Wouldja start both Morrow and Dempster today? By which I mean: would I?

  25. wynams says:

    HtH Points playoff run pick 5 (from:

    Guerra, Parnell, Lannan, Hughes, Wolf, Nathan, Salas


  26. Long Bawls says:

    @wynams: I prefer an HGH league myself. All kinda meh, but I’d drop Hughes and Lannan from the list.

  27. Buge Hoobs says:

    In my 10 team 5×5 I need some MI help

    My Betancourt for any of these: Prado, Pennington, A Escobar, J Weeks, Seager, Altuve ??? As a team, I am low in R, RBI and AVG.

  28. spaceman lee says:

    Better 2B pickup for the playoffs – Altuve, J. Weeks, Seager, or Hudson? Thanks.

  29. Mel says:


    For those of us in leagues with Quality Starts as a stat, how about a glossary term for a start where a guy pitches brilliantly through 6 (or 7 or 8), but then goes out one inning too long and gets blown up – quality start gone.

    It’s very frustrating, and I’d love to have a glossary term for it.


  30. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Grey: cool thats who my heart wants

  31. Eddy says:


    Looking ahead at some quarterfinals match ups. Whom do you prefer?

    Lannan v. LAD
    J.McDonald v. HOU

  32. Eng says:

    Thanks much, Grey. Also, if you don’t mind, would you start Latos at home to COL tomorrow?

  33. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Mel: Sounds a little like dustied.

    @AL KOHOLIC: Cool

    @Eddy: McDonald

    @Eng: If I owned him, yeah.

  34. Blunted says:

    @Grey: Throw Oswalt against the Marlins today? I have Verlander and Beachy going also so I’m chasing a win and fully expecting him to give up a bomb to Stanton but what do you think?

  35. chunk says:

    At MI, I’ve gone from J weeks to Sellers to Seager and now Hughes. Thinking about moving to altuve…..

    Drop the “thunder from down under” for Altuve?

  36. Grey

    Grey says:


  37. Pooch says:

    Stream Moscoso today against Seattle?

    Would have to drop Chacin, who because of a sore throat went from pitching @SD tomorrow to at Coors vs. Arizona. Chacin is droppable correct?

  38. Buge Hoobs says:

    How about a better use of the Util ?
    My Moreland …. waivers has Loney, Aust Jax, Trout and DMurphy

  39. I love this crop of late season 2nd basemen pickups, but I need a shortstop! Bring back steroids!

  40. Don Gale says:

    Alright, I have Josh Johnson in a keeper league. We can keep 10 players. Would you keep any of these over him?
    Kimbrel, Shelby Miller, Pablo Sandoval, Tabata

  41. Grey

    Grey says:


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