If I were a box of cereal my first ingredient would be “good advice.” Here are some important questions I’ve been asked and my magnificent answers…
Logan: Unless one of the categories in your league is “fewest arms” I’d go with Stan the Man. In the future, you might want to examine the baseball card of the player in question. Simple rule to remember: Rock beats scissors beats paper and two arms beats one arm. Although two arms beats eight arms because octopi stink to high heaven at baseball (despite their lofty reputations as tetherballers).
Hey Kenyon, Rabbit Maranville is my favorite player and the guy picking before me in the draft nabbed him before I could. What should I do? — Jeremy.
Jeremy: Find out where the shortstop pilfering palooka lives and siphon all the gas out of his Packard with a garden hose. Then leave a note on his windshield offering him your backup catcher plus the stolen fuel for Mr. Maranville.
Kenyon! First time writer, long time reader. I’m in a ten-team NL only league and I accidentally drafted all second basemen. I mean, I got all the good ones: Cocomarsh, Lohevic, Girabaldi, Mandelbaum, Gretchenmaus… But a.) my line-up is unbalanced b.) now nobody else has a second baseman and c.) my wife hates me even more than she did before the draft. Any good advice and I’d be more than happy to make you a beneficiary of my life insurance policy. — Paul.
Paul: Hoarding infielders was a popular strategy between 1902-1915, then that practice was outlawed as part of the anti-trust monopoly regulations by the Wilson Administration. You appear to be a delusional young man. It’s time to grow up and focus. Remember, the path to a successful life is through fantasy baseball. Don’t throw away that opportunity.