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Week 7 brings us the beginning of the uselessness that is interleague play. Why? For the simple reason that teams like to keep it fresh for money purposes:  it’s some weird marketing technique to gain new revenue. I am not a fan of the unnatural geographical match-ups. This causes all types of lineup havoc for teams with a strict DH guy on American League teams. So enjoy some shuffleboard with Papi and Vlad — that should be a cruise line slogan. Even though both those teams are home…you get my point. So with that being said, lots of two start options this week as all 30 teams play 7 games. This is a good week to muscle up and grab as many two start guys as possible. Why you may ask? Patience, and don’t yell! There is no yelling in the dojo. The pitching has been dominating the hitting so far, so why wouldn’t it continue in games with opponents they don’t see very often? There, you’re welcome for the secrets. Good luck this week on all fantasy baseball undertakings. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and match-ups may change.)

ONE START OPTIONS:

5/18
Tom Gorzelanny @ Nym – Gee
Bud Norris @ StL – Lohse
Bronson Arroyo vs. Pit – McDonald

5/19
Chris Narveson @ SD – Harang
Tyson Ross vs. Min – Blackburn
Philip Humber vs. Cle – White

5/20
Jason Marquis @ Bal – Arrieta
Travis Wood @ Cle – Tomlin

Ivan Nova (@TB vs. Shields, NYM vs. Niese) Got lambasted by KC.  That lineup glimmer I’ve previously mentioned with Yankee starters? Yeah, he has it and a special decoder ring given to him by Jetes.

Joel Pineiro (@Oak vs. Anderson, Atl vs. Hanson) Two quality opponents to see if Joel is for real. Tiny numbers not just this year, but click 2010 stats. Yeah, minus an injury he would be worth it. BAA is a meager .224. Some regression, but would you take a 3.70 ERA from a waiver wire add? Yeah, me too.

Rick Porcello (Tor vs. Drabek, @Pit vs. Maholm) Kid grew up like 5 mins from me, 20 if I walked on my hands. Hasn’t allowed more than 2 ER since before tax day (that’s 5 starts if anyone doesn’t have an abacus handy). ERA 2 runs better away.

Charlie Morton (@Was vs. Zimmermann, Det vs. Coke) Two Jersey guys in a row — it’s a Jersey thing… you wouldn’t understand. RH batting .161, unfortunately LH are hitting “Teddy Ballgame” off him. ERA drop at home to the tune of 2.5 runs.

Jon Garland (Mil vs. Wolf, @CHW vs. Danks) The fantasy baseball version of a Doozer, down in Fraggle Rock. 12 wins and ERA around 4. Seems like he has done that for oh, say a decade. 2.77 ERA away from Chavez.

Jason Vargas (Min vs. Duensing, @SD vs. Stauffer) More exciting time on Sunday in SD? Go to the zoo and flip off the monkeys or watch Seattle play the Friars? Yeah, I know it’s a trick question.

Jesse Litsch (@Det vs. Coke, Hou vs. W. Rodriguez) I thought Conan shaved his beard… What is he doing pitching for Toronto? The last Jesse that I swore by ran moonshine and his nephews drove a Charger with the doors cemented shut.

Homer Bailey (CHC vs. Garza, @Cle vs. Carrasco) Remember that girl from high school who used to tease you all the time with niceness? She teaches a class for that now and Bailey is the valedictorian. If you already picked him up, make sure you have a DL spot available.

Jonathon Niese (Fla vs. Nolasco , @NYY vs. Nova) Hey, I could have mentioned Pelfrey, but look at his match-ups and tell me who you would rather face. xFIP says he is getting hosed by a run.

Paul Maholm (@Was vs. Lannan, Det vs. Porcello) Gets zero point zero run support to help his 3.60 ERA. What did u expect…. he plays in Pitt. Home ERA at 2.76. Is a photo negative of Morton.