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Late in the season, when it appeared like Eloy Jimenez might be called up, I said he was putting his finishing touches on his Roy Hobbs’ Halloween costume.  Maybe I was saying that because he was tearing the cover off the ball, maybe I heard something about the following clip I’m about to share or maybe I really am a prescient witch — preswich?  Either way, watch this:

In case you’re not seeing how far the ball is going, I got a little secret for you to judge the ball’s trajectory.  After his first swing, the ball smashes the light tower!  Okay, he is Roy Hobbs.  It’s such a whatever swing for him, before the ball hits the light tower, he’s already hit another home run!  That’s right, that’s not a GIF of one swing, it’s of two swings!  He swings and the ball travels so far that he’s able to swing and hit another home run before the first ball smashes the light tower!  Sure, it was a home run derby, but are you kidding me?  Have you seen home run derbies before?  Guys are exhausted after they hit a home run and are asking for time outs and calling up Bryce Harper’s dad for tips way before they hit another home run!  But Eloy hits the light tower, pulls the bat back and hits another home run!  Seriously WUT.  *feels lightheaded* I need to sit down; Eloy’s got me shook!  Anyway, what can we expect from Eloy Jimenez for 2019 fantasy baseball?

The question is really, Eloy Jimenez or Vladimir Guerrero Jr.?  Long term I want to say Vlad all day, e’eryday, but even if that feels like a slam dunk right now that could become a question mark during certain seasons of their career.  It does not feel clearcut at all.  I bet there are years when Eloy is ranked above Vlad and vice versa.  Likely more vice versa than versa vice, but I’m reminded of Kris Bryant and Anthony Rizzo.  During Bryant’s rookie year, everyone would’ve said him over Rizzo always and forever, Peabo Bryson.  Now?  I don’t know.  Shoot (not you, Dick Cheney!), I’m trying to figure out Eloy or Vlad right now.  Or rn, if you’re in a rush or a 12-year-old girl.  Their numbers are crazy similar.  Eloy hit 10 HRs and .317 in Double-A.  That was below Vlad.  But then Eloy hit 12 HRs and .355 in Triple-A, which bested Vlad.  Eloy’s older (21 vs. 19), but that could mean better things for him in 2019.  Then again, Acuña and Chi-Ali say age is just a number.  Then again again, Chi-Ali is in jail and Acuña has a mustache over his N, which makes him GOD.  Finally, Eloy could be ticketed to start the year with the White Sox, which immediately makes me more interested, but maybe the White Sox suppress him further.  I don’t know!  Stop suppressing me, father!  Wait, what?  I almost want to make a Twitter poll and ask people Eloy or Vlad in 2019, but I would never listen to a poll of a thousand random people on Twitter.  Thinking Vlad over Eloy, but this might be a game time decision in my 2019 rankings.  I trust y’all more than Twitter polls, so if you want to weigh in on which you think you prefer, I’m all ears like Alfred E. Neuman.  Unlike Acuña and similar to Vlad, Eloy provides little to no speed — I mean, look at him swing the bat, he looks like he never wants to run around the bases ever — so Eloy’s going to be less valuable than Acuña was this past year, but could be a top 30 outfielder.  For 2019, I’ll give him the projections 58/22/64/.291/1 in 472 ABs.