For owners bemoaning Al-Ram’s bad start, it could be worse.  You could have Whore-Ram (Horacio Ramirez). (BTW, only fantasy baseball could convince a straight man that a Man-Ram is more preferable to a Whore-Ram.  BTW II, How do you go from a Whore-Ram to a Man-Ram?  An Ass-Cab (Asdrubal Cabrera).) Or you could have Ram-Ram. (Boston’s Ramon Ramirez who, actually, is 1-0 with 8 scoreless innings…damn Ram-Ram!)  The one good thing you can say about Our Comrad Alexei’s start so far is at least he’s in the bottom of the order so he’s not getting as many at-bats.  There hasn’t been a disaster this bad since Cuba’s Ministry of Age Obfuscation (MAO) was hacked into by a 9 year-old Miami boy and revealed Orlando Hernandez was a veteran of the Spanish-American War.  Batting .125, hacking at everything, not one steal attempt, not one extra base hit…. Willie Bloomquist looks like a worthy replacement.  Shoot, I’d take William Rehnquist at this point.  Give me liberty, just don’t give me Alexei Ramirez.  Right?  Wrong.  There’s few players that are more of a Buy right now.

Alexei Ramirez is a free swinger like that guy down the hall from you with the S & M ball gag.  He doesn’t see many pitches he doesn’t like, which makes him susceptible to slumps.  You know when else he was in a slump?  Last April he hit .138 with no steals or home runs.  Looks like someone likes the heat.  So you drafted a guy in the 4th round this year who had a miserable April last year and you want to get rid of him when he goes out and does the same thing?  Shame on you.  Alexei – We raise our glass of Vodka (with crushed mint leaves and fresh lemon juice) and have faith you will make us proud.

  1. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    In Cuba they drink VICTORY GIN. Get it right.

  2. p0rk burn says:

    @Grey @IowaCubs: Wouldn’t a Mojito be better for a toast to Komrad Alexei?

  3. Nice post. My worries are salved.

    Question: Brandon Wood just got the call to the big club. Worth dropping Villaneuva for him, as a 3B/SS so I can move Felipe over to 2B while Phillips and Alexei collectively suck?

    Can you tell I’m itching to drop Villaneuva? Not sure he even gets the ball over Coffey in the next save opp.

  4. Ashley says:

    I traded Hamilton and my 9th rd pick for V-Mart, Nelson Cruz, and his 9th rd pick yesterday. Think it will work out?

    C Víctor Martínez

    1B Adrián González

    2B Ian Kinsler

    3B Kevin Youkilis

    SS Troy Tulowitzki

    OF Ryan Braun

    OF Carlos Quentin

    OF Nelson Cruz

    Util Raúl Ibañez

    BN Jacoby Ellsbury


    SP Josh Johnson

    SP Derek Lowe

    SP Clayton Kershaw

    SP Roy Halladay

    RP Jonathan Broxton

    RP Brad Ziegler

    RP Scott Downs

    BN Ricky Nolasco

    BN John Danks

    BN Tommy Hanson

    I’m kinda getting annoyed with Tulo… Should I hold him or maybe try to trade him? Felipe, Hardy, and Bartlett are available. And Nolasco is getting on my nerves too, I should’ve avoided him like y’all said to! But I’m in 1st at 14-4-2 so I can’t really complain.

    I love Kinsler, Kershaw, and Quentin!

  5. Ashley says:

    I traded my 9th rd pick for his 6th rd pick**

  6. Grey

    Grey says:

    @p0rk burn: Yeah, but Russian and Cuban so vodka with mint and lemon juice. It’s the Alexei Sloe Fizz.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Grab Wood. Hmm… that sounded weird.

  7. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Ashley: I think you’ll be fine with that trade, but you did just take on a lot more risk. C’est la vie. I’d hold tight on Tulo.

  8. Teef says:

    @Baron – Cut the man lose – why even hold him at this point? He’s spotty at best/not sure if he’s a lock for saves and Hoffman is due back this weekend – are you really that strapped for saves?

  9. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Grey: i`ll try a cuban slow fizz vodka. to go along with this great newsbreaking site.Hmm,that was good,you might be on to something here grey i`ll have another and so on

  10. p0rk burn says:

    @Grey: I see what you did there.

  11. Ashley says:

    I was just offered A-Rod and Scott Baker for Youkilis and Halladay.

    Yes? I’m kinda excited to think about what A-Rod could do in that ballpark. But Youk and Halladay have been studs.

    I guess it just depends on what you think of Baker.. Wasn’t he a potential breakout pitcher? He got roughed up last week, think he’ll end up being fine?

  12. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Ashley: I don’t like that for you. Not a fan of Baker.

  13. Luke says:

    I like Alexei but I have the feeling that the Grey/Alexei saga could play out like one of my favorite Simpsons scenes which I will present now:

    “Bart and Homer race wildly after Lisa until she pushes the pig grill off
    the top of a slope. The pig passes through a hedge.

    Homer: It’s just a little dirty. It’s still good, it’s still good!
    [Passes traffic, jumps a bridge and lands in the water.]
    It’s just a little slimy, it’s still good, it’s still good!
    [It gets caught in a dam spillway, and when the pressure builds, it shoots into the sky.]
    It’s just a little airborne, it’s still good, it’s still good!
    Bart: [Crestfallen.] It’s gone.
    Homer: I know.”

    But, for all of your sake, I hope I’m wrong.

  14. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: Should I drop Chase Headley and pick up Brandon Wood? (Grab Wood/give Headley, I don’t like where this is going.)

  15. bostonaccent says:

    And hey, Alexei just got shortstop eligibility for a lot of us just recently, so we can move him over and pretend he’s someone new.

    You know, like when the wife gets a new haircut.

  16. Ashley says:

    @Grey: Yeah, 4 homeruns last game is horrible. And I assume he’ll get pounded again tonight.

    And I love Halladay, he’s a horse.

    But.. I accepted, it’s hard for me to pass on A-Rod. A-Rod, Kinsler, Quentin, Braun, and Kershaw are a good group of keepers.

    Should I add Reynolds in the meantime? Lowell, Felipe, Blalock, and Headley are some of the other top 3B FA.

    Baker isn’t droppable is he? Because Edwin Jackson is available..

    Thanks for the help!

  17. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Ashley: Grab Reynolds. Baker’s not droppable, no.

  18. p0rk burn says:

    So to summarize the last two or so days of the third-base eligible shuffle, Wood > Headley > Blalock, corrigida?

  19. Grab Wood and drop Freddy “Dirty” Sanchez?

  20. Zebo says:

    drop kubel or snider for wood?

  21. BigFatHippo says:

    @p0rk burn: Ha, yeah these guys did the curly shuffle on the end of my bench while Beltre stinks up the joint.

    Doe this make Beltre Shemp?

  22. Dude, can you cut all the BS and tomfoolery and just get to your point? This post was excruciating to read. Too much non funny banter.

    Also, not sure I agree about Ramirez. He might have pop, which is nice, but now that they have a whole season of video on him, pitchers will keep making him whiff.

  23. Zebo says:

    drop Burriss, Kubel, or Snider for Wood?

  24. Kris says:

    What do you guys think about this trade (10 team 6×6 WHIP, OPS)
    I give Alexei and A Gallarraga and get A-rod. I need RBI, HR. I would pick up parra or maholm. It seems like a no brainer to me, but need a second opinion. Thanks

    My team-
    J Reyes
    S Drew

    S Baker
    J Johnson

  25. BigFatHippo says:

    I’ve been wondering where the hell all my pitchers went in one league. Then I look at Thursday, BLAM, 5 starters.

    Bills, Shields, Hamels, Wandy, Lohse, think I’ll throw em all and see what happens.

    Leaguemates won’t know what hit em, well a couple of them will.

  26. Zebo says:

    think Kubel or Snider can be this year’s Ludwick or Quentin?

  27. p0rk burn says:

    @Zebo: The site has Lind being the more likely of the Toronto players to impress this season, although it doesn’t go so far as saying Quentin or Ludwick-esque.

  28. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Teef: I’m only holding him b/c I’ve made the mistake before of cutting the interim closer before the “real” closer returns, only to find the real closer falls down a dark hole.

    Who can forget the hilarious Chad Cordero Follies of last season: i.e. “He’s out for a week. He’s starting a rehab assignment this Friday. He’ll spend a few days in AAA. He’s had a setback. He’s having season-ending surgery.”

    Hoffman is fragile enough that I won’t believe it till I see it. But Villaneuva’s been suckburger sandwich so far, which is enough cause to kick him to the curb.

    @bostonaccent: I second that ha!

    @Zebo: Snider has a great pedigree but he’s only 21. Expect bumps. As for Kubel… seems awfully Hawpish to me. But I may eat those words.

  29. pharmdriz says:

    I’ve been offered our newly maligned Chris Davis and our always loved Shane Victorino for Carlos Lee and Matt Capps. This could make me light on power and average.

    I’ve got Capps, Fuentes, Franklin then Aardsma and Motte.
    The OF is already crowded with Lee, Holliday, Rios, Cruz with Damon and Maybin riding the pine usually.

    3B is Atkins and 1B is Pujols. So….the question is a two-parter:

    1) Will Davis show some talent? (and allow me to flip him or…)
    2) Should I try to get Paps/Nathan/etc. talent with an excess OF?

  30. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Kris: I like that for you. Grab Parra.

    @pharmdriz: I like that trade for you. You might be able to swing Cruz for a Bell, Wilson, Qualls type closer.

  31. p0rk burn says:

    @pharmdriz: You need another closer and I don’t think you can afford to lose Lee. That rules out #1. If you can get Taipei Slinklo you should, he doesn’t have the appeal that Papelbon does so he should be a tad cheaper. I’d see if you can deal Holliday for a closer plus Davis. Holliday is off to a slow start but I don’t think he’ll be a bum all year. Giving him up for a closer one for one is giving up too much. Maybe deal Damon and something for a closer, but I think people are starting to realize that at this point Damon is mostly a Yankees uniform and not the fantasy toolbox he used to be.

  32. p0rk burn says:

    @pharmdriz: @p0rk burn: Or listen to Grey. I still don’t like it because you’re giving up Lee’s guaranteed numbers for Davis’ potential.

  33. johnson21 says:

    Grey, add Wood… Drop zobrist?Don’t laugh please, zobrist has been doing OK.
    Also, trade Peavy, get Crawford? Crawford hasn’t homered in over 30 some odd games… Thanks.

  34. johnson21 says:

    Also, add Fowler (since he seems like a regular)to get cheap steals. Drop Street or Reynolds or Lugo?

  35. Kris says:

    Thanks for the input Grey, I just started frequenting the site and now i can’t get enough. keep it up

  36. Grey

    Grey says:

    @johnson21: Grab Wood, I want Peavy over Crawford unless your pitching is lousy with top starters and you need steals badly.

    @johnson21: Drop Lugo, add Fowler.

  37. JR says:

    I’ve loved me some Krispie for two years, ever since I scrouged him off the waiver wire his rookie season, and I’ve kept him each year. I worry, however, that my attachment is becoming irrational. He long since left my outfield and currently resides in my Utility slot, where he shares time with the equally maddening Edwin Encarnacion. I’ve tried to trade him but I haven’t been able to.

    So my question is: Is Krispie droppable?

    I can’t believe I just said that.

  38. Steve says:

    OK – this carries over from previous post. Thinking about offering a closer for Alexei. I have a bunch and since it’s a Holds league I can’t start them all each day. Which of:

    should I offer up first?

  39. Schatzi says:

    Start Parra at Philly tonight? :/

  40. p0rk burn says:

    @Schatzi: I’m not and I won’t blame you for joining the party.

  41. Pops says:

    @Steve: I don’ think a closer will be enough for Alexei. Maybe couple that with a Mark DeRosa type and you’ve got something.

  42. Steve says:

    @Pops: I have Felipe too so could throw him in, but what I didn’t mention above is that the guy with Alexei a) has him benched and b) only has one closer.

  43. Steve says:

    @Steve: Oh – and I use Felipe at SS, which is where I’d put Alexei.

  44. Doc says:

    Drop Hermida or Justin Upton or Villanueva for Brandon Wood?

  45. Pops says:

    @Pops: Or a Felipe Lopez type. Lopez and Qualls could get you what you need.

  46. Zebo says:

    what does cold weather have to do with anything? Plus, it’s not like the weather is THAT cold. I have a hard time imagining how warmer breezes makes a guy see the ball better, in the Cuban comrade’s case.

  47. deepee says:

    Joba was just dropped…Cueto or Joba?

  48. 2B/SS Wood for Sanchez? I can deal with the AVG hit, but if playing time becomes an issue with Brandon, Firddy Sanchez is boring but at least reliable. Thoughts?

  49. mc serch says:

    @bostonaccent: “like when the wife gets a new haircut,” he-he, that’s the funniest thing I heard all day. Interesting that I find about Wood on Alexei’s post (ha!), I picked up Wood over the past weekend (ha-ha!) in the hope he gets tapped by the big club, rolls into the Big A and provides a release for my Cuban Missile Crisis.

  50. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @deepee: JOBA!

    @zombie: Boring and reliable is for August, not April. April is for upside!

  51. Tom says:

    I just got offered Brett Myers for Lowell. I’m looking at my WWGD bracelet, and I’m thinking that Grey would gladly take that. While I agree with 99% of what is said by you experts, I still think Lowell could give me 100 RBIs from the corner, and I didn’t have to draft the guy until my last three picks or so. Grey, talk me into this trade, please.

  52. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Apparently Doumit is out for 8-10 weeks.

    Get me John Baker, stat!

  53. Thunder Dan says:

    I’ve been offered Nick Swisher for Eric Bedard in my 20-team beast of a league. Of course, good starting pitching is at a premium in a league that deep, so I’m inclined to decline.

    However, my team’s power is currently provided by El Caballo, Konerko, and the mighty, mighty Chris Duncan, so I’m tempted to say yes.

    What say you, Razzballers? Will Bedard stay healthy this year and be an ace? Will Swisher put up silly numbers in the Yankees’ new launching pad now that Nady is out of the picture? Both these guys could be seen as “sell high” candidates right now, which is why I’m puzzled.

  54. Teef says:

    @Thunder- NO CHANCE you do that – I’m a Yankee fan and while I love the personality he brings and 25-30 HR pop he has in his bat poeple need to remember that he is a career .250 hitter – he’s already entered into the beginning of the correction if you look over the past week or so.

    If your worried about Bedard – you can get way better than Swisher for him – ESP in a 20 team league. Let him get 1 or 2 more starts of beast da beast mode and shop him

  55. Teef says:

    -if your worried about his injury…on a side note, I have him and I’m taking the chance on him staying healthy – it’s a walk year for him and players always seem “tougher” in walk years somehow…prob just coincidence

  56. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Thunder Dan: Yeah, you don’t want to do that.

    Remember Bedard was the third pitcher off the board in most drafts in 2008.

  57. Dingo says:

    I guess Vlad and Doumit will be able to keep each other company in my DL slots for the next month or two. Am I correct in presuming that these are the two highest-impact DL moves so far in the season? I want to make sure I’ve got my misery poker hand played right.

  58. Vince says:

    Drop Fontenot for Tejada or Khalil for my MI spot in my RCL team? Or just keep Fontenot?

  59. Grey

    Grey says:

    @JR: I wouldn’t drop him. Even if he only snags you a Percival or Hanranananan in a trade, he’s got to get you something. Something, Krispie.

    @Steve: Qualls, but those are pretty lame. Might have to do Qualls and Sherrill or Qualls plus a Bonifacio-type.

    @Schatzi: Ugh, that’s a terrible matchup. 12 team leagues or less, no.

    @Doc: Hastanueva.

    @Zebo: Cold weather favors pitchers.

    @deepee: Joba

    @Tom: Myers is terribly unreliable, pitching in a hitter’s park and he’s a risky pitcher from Rudy’s post; Lowell’s in a stacked lineup in a hitter’s park.

    @Vince: Keep Fontenot.

  60. Prince says:

    OK, I don’t know how to use my bench. With 10 spots for pitchers, I now have 4 closers (added Corpas as I’m 6th out of 10 in my league in saves) and Lacky on the DL.

    I have 3 bench spots total, for Alexei, Jurrjens, and Wandy (rotate pitchers). I’m already heading to too many pitcher starts, though, so do I need so many pitchers?

    Bruce is in the lineup and I’m dead last in BA, so a bench spot for another OF or UTIL would be handy. Drop Corpas? More randomly, and unlikely, clear a spot for Price (Niemann is 0-2)?

  61. Steve says:

    @Grey: Yeah. Will go Qualls first, then Qualls + a schmohawk. Can always go Qualls + Felipe.

  62. Zebo says:

    I dropped Burriss for Wood, now my 2B and SS are Alexei and Wood. I can drop Kubel or Snider to get Fontenot still just as insurance. Think that’s (Dwayne) Wise? haha. Do you think Howard + Liriano for Braun + Halladay is fair? I have Howard.

  63. chingobling says:

    drop bonifacio or fontenot or aaron hill for brandon wood?

  64. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Zebo: Yeah, I’d do that trade.

  65. pharmdriz says:

    Thanks Grey and others. I countered with Oswalt, Holliday, and Fuentes for Bills, Victorino, and Davis. If I can trade up to 2009 NL CY winner-to-be Bills, it’ll be worth it I think. I like the Lee Guarentee ™ too, so I’m trying to hold onto him.

  66. Falcon says:

    Give up Braun for Victorino & Johan?

    C Yadier Molina
    1B Adrián González
    2B Dan Uggla
    3B Emilio Bonifacio
    SS Felipe López
    OF Carlos Beltrán
    OF Carlos Lee
    OF Corey Hart
    Util Elijah Dukes
    Util Ryan Braun
    BN J.J. Hardy
    BN Mark Teahen

    SP James Shields
    SP Erik Bedard
    SP Glen Perkins
    RP Matt Capps
    RP Chad Qualls
    P Troy Percival
    BN Ricky Nolasco
    BN Dan Haren
    BN Chris Carpenter
    DL John Lackey

  67. royce! says:

    Who should I expect more from as the year plods on: Maybin or Carlos Gomez?

  68. Eric says:

    Who gets the better of this trade?

    Chipper Jones for Matt Lindstrom and Garrett Atkins

    Is it fairly even or lopsided?

  69. chingobling says:

    i drop bonifacio 4 wood that is a good or bad move?

  70. chingobling says:

    bonifacio 4 wood brandon wood.

  71. chingobling says:

    brandon wood > emo bonifacio? right or wrong?

  72. Joe says:

    @Moroccan Missile Silo: Dude, chill out. How about this concept: if you don’t enjoy reading the site, then don’t come to the site?? Tough one, I know, so I’ll give you a minute to absorb it.

    (pause… finger tap… finger tap…)

    Brain caught up yet? Good. Let’s continue.

    Yeah, I know that everyone’s entitled to an opinion and all that, but here these guys are giving your pathetic self some FREE fantasy baseball advice and you bite the hand that feeds? Did I mention they’re doing this for FREE?

    Not cool, dude, just not cool.

  73. Eric says:

    yeah, I love this site.

  74. BingoIsMyName-O says:

    I like how the Comments have about 2% to do with the piece:

    “Oh God, how long is this piece, I can’t find the Comments link… do I drop Villanueva and pick up Bridget Fonda or not???”

    Btw, I like calling Villanueva, “Chuckie Newtown.”

    Sort of pertinent to the piece, I have Alexei in a keeper league and I won’t get really nervous until he starts losing playing time. If you drafted him in Round 5 or higher, I’m sorry for you. It’s really hard to say with this dude, nobody on the planet knows what to do with Cuban baseball stats (my cat Pookie would probably like stretching out across the printouts). Alexei drew like 15 walks last year. Maybe pitchers are group-thinking, “Hey, what if we just throw it in the dirt, bocce-style?” Still, he showed a lot of power in a great HR park, and should nab some steals, if he can ever get on base. It helps that Ozzie doesn’t realize a lousy success rate in stealing bases means it’s a dumb idea to run. Yay, Ozzie!

    @Grey: Nice headline (if obvious), you’d been slipping. Don’t get too comfy though, you still need a good week of headlines before you can let go of your guilt re: “Yes We Cano!”

  75. chingobling says:

    @peoples emo bonifaco taco i droppd him 4 brandon wood. woods good wat u think?

  76. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Prince: Niemann sucks, but everyone in the Rays organization knew that when they sent Price down. Don’t drop Corpas.

    @Zebo: You don’t need Fontenot, that trade is fair.

    @chingobling: Lose Fontenot for Wood. No need to repeat comments either. Please and thank you.

    @Falcon: Sure

    @royce!: Beginning to think Gomez, which is sad for me to say.

    @Eric: Fairly even, I’d take Atkins’s side.

    @BingoIsMyName-O: Yeah, bocci-style is a small concern and his unknown factor.

    Chuckie Newtown — Ha! I’m kinda liking Hastanueva.

  77. chingobling says:

    y not bonifaco taco notfontenot? bonifacotaco>fontenotnot?

  78. johnson21 says:

    Better to stash away Chris Ray or Zumaya or Mock?

  79. chingobling says:

    chris ray ray stash dat!

  80. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @BingoIsMyName-O: I say this as an Alexei owner/believer, but most of the objections I hear to him sound like received wisdom at best. If having a year’s worth of tape on someone was enough to turn him into a .125 hitter, then wouldn’t everyone who’s played more than a year be hitting .125? If you’re good enough to be good in the ML, then you’re good enough to make the adjustments required to continue to be good.

    What I do know is that players slump. Some players slump badly. With the exception of the late lamented Kevin Maas, I don’t know of any players who are competent major leaguers for one year then lose all their skills or are run out of the league because other teams “figure them out.”

    (And even Maas wasn’t that exceptional, as BP once proved.)

    @Moroccan Missile Silo: If you’re looking for more bland, straightforward, dry and entirely humorless fantasy advice you can find it… on any other fantasy site.

    But just because the door is open for you to enter doesn’t mean you should walk into someone’s house and shout out, “Your drapes are ugly!” That’s just rude.

    @chingobling: Def. drop Bonifacio for Wood.

    Also, this comment looks like you just fell asleep on the keyboard.

    I’m all for freewheeling grammar/syntax/jargon, but some of y’all need to take the mittens off when you’re typing.

    /END Cranky school-marmery

  81. arthur says:

    Asdrubal /assdribble. Is he worth a rosterspot in 40 moves a year league (5 used)?

  82. chingobling says:

    i read u said drop bonifacotacos!!!!! u said drop bonifacotacos!!!!! i red it friday and now i droppd him!!!!!!

  83. chingobling says:

    @moroccan missiles silo i read what you said what you hating on the razzballin???? u got to get laid or smoke out or gtfo

  84. Need some quick help if possible…Shin Soo Choo sounds like a must start against Sidney Ponson, same with Corey Hart against Jaime Moyer. Should I start both of them and bench Nate Mclouth or leave Choo on the bench even though he is essentially playing teeball tonight?

  85. Grey

    Grey says:

    @chingobling: If you dropped him, then so be it. You’ll be fine. BTW, is everyone stoned in Colorado all the time?

  86. chingobling says:

    i got my vaporizer in colorado

  87. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Maitland: Sounds like you have to bench McLouth.

  88. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: man,i agree,i might mispell or forget a cama,but shit im going to have to get drunk to decipfer some of these post,i think the ganja is back

  89. chingobling says:

    @AL KO i only do herb but i dont hate on alko. I read dat and cama is the comma yea man!!!!!

  90. Prince says:

    @ Grey – thanks again.

    Interesting thread, for sure. Quality humor, rudeness, and just some plain old strange shite.

    @ Moroccan – one of the main reasons I love this site is because of the humor. Maybe you’ll be masochistic and stick around, but at least let the rest of us enjoy it.

  91. Iceman says:

    Kubel or Ian Stewart pickup? Team is pretty solid except for 1 util spot. Head to head league.

  92. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @chingobling: yeah i meant camma,i smoked my share for 30 years can you tell?mostly during classes

  93. Baron Von Vulturewins

    Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Iceman: I really like Stewart. For what its worth.

  94. Tom says:

    Is Hardy for Alexei Ram and a crappy closer a bad idea? As long as the dude doesn’t lose his job, I’m not too worried about Al-Ram. I think he’s pullin through. Plus, Hardy seems to start late also, anyway.

  95. Zebo says:

    Howard + Inge + Liriano for Braun + Halladay + Iannetta.

  96. MikeE says:

    So I’ve got webb coming back from the DL at the end of the week and was wondering who folks think I should drop for him? Millwood, Carmona, or Buehrle? I also may be able to pick Jordan Zimmermann or Edwin Jackson from the waiver wire — would you prefer them to any of those guys?

  97. anon says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: ha, I actually thought his post was in spanish when I first glossed over it

  98. Prince says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: “I’m all for freewheeling grammar/syntax/jargon, but some of y’all need to take the mittens off when you’re typing.”


    Boy, Parra’s off to a rough start …

  99. Joel says:

    Nelson Cruz is ridiculous!

  100. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Tom: I’d want Alexei.

    @Zebo: I’d want the Braun side.

    @MikeE: I’d want Webb, Jordan Zimmermann and Edwin Jackson. If that much upside scares you. Go with Buerhle over Jackson.

  101. BSA says:

    @Prince: @Baron Von Vulturewins: Welcome to the world of texting shorthand. Ugh!

    Grey – Nice planned ignoring and taking the high road.

  102. Steve says:

    What happened to Rickie Weeks?

  103. Doug Ault says:

    @Grey: You may be on to something, Al-Ram also hit 211 last Sept……..brrrrr

  104. madx34 says:

    Who would u replace Doumit with. I am in a standard 5 x 5 10 teamer
    and there are plenty of options on the wire:

    R Hernandez
    and others I won’t list

    5 leagues and I have the Cuban Blunt in 4 of them so i am almost patiently waiting for THE STREAK to ignite

  105. knighttown says:

    Looking for a quick “roster audit”

    1. Are all of Qualls, Morrow and Corpas still in line for saves? I dropped Rafa Soriano.

    2. Stockpiling SP’s. Beckett, Oswalt, Cain, Vazquez are safe. Carrying Je. Weaver, Scherzer, Jackson and Ricky Riccardo for upside. Can’t pick up Jo-Zim extra but could drop someone if needed.

    3. Bubble hitters are J. Upton, Boneface, Felipe Lopez, Stevie Drew, Bruce and Choo. Available are Stewart, Brandon Wood. Moves needed?

    4. Assuming all batters are facing say, Jimmy Key tonight, which two of the above should sit?

    5. I apologize for writing this in the Queen’s English. I can translate it to fit today’s theme.

    “Yo Gizzle! hatin bonnnnifio!!!!Ya. Lol. grabbin m,e some ein stuart?1 rofl. i SMELL like gold, biyz”

  106. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: Looks like some of the Yahoo commenters have finally found their way over here. First!

  107. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Doug Ault: Shiver me timber!

    @madx34: Inge

    @knighttown: 1. Yes

    2. Hold

    3. Stewart over Bonifacio

    4. Upton and Bonifacio

    5. Ha

  108. Martin says:

    So what kind of player would u try to trade for alexi? Also whats going on with manny parra?????

  109. paulzone says:

    would you swap either garza or jered weaver for bannister or porcello? both seem like a reach.

    2ndly, um, what’s up with JJ Hardy. Should we be worried?

  110. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Martin: A quality 2nd tier closer? Qualls? Maybe Jenks? Was a tough matchup for Parra and he can’t stop walking people.

    @paulzone: Nope.

    re: Hardy — His back is sore and he starts slow.

  111. Steve says:


  112. BigFatHippo says:

    @Steve: You have him on your…….Sonuva!

  113. Steve says:

    @BigFatHippo: Yeah – in both leagues in which I own him. Benched him for my brand new Del Young in the RCL – and the Twins were postponed!

    Ah well. There were plenty of good reasons to sit him. He’s lucky I still own him.

  114. VanHammersly says:

    Considering Maybin has finally homered, think it would be wise to attempt to sell high and swing him for Ian Stewart in a 12-team league?

    I’d like Stewart to spell Jose Lopez at 2B, and my OF/bench consists of Crawford, McLouth, Kemp, Hawpe, Lewis, and Snider.

  115. Thunder Dan says:

    @Teef; @Baron: Thanks for the advice, fellas.

    @MadX34: I’d go with Baker — he’s a good hitter in a great lineup spot. Unfortunately he wasn’t available in the league in which I’ve got Doumit.

  116. p0rk burn says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I love the crotchety old man you sometimes are, BVV. Mittens! There are definitely not enough comments about mittens.

    @Martin: This is what Parra does. See below. He walks people, gives up the occasional bomb, strikes out slightly more than he walks, takes it on the chin, and walks away with a win sometimes. As these comments and the comments from the last post reflect, tonight was not a good night to start him.

    @paulzone: This is what he does. He sucks for a few weeks, has a good week or two, and by the end of the season it all balances out. Its a pain in the ass in H2H but works out ok in roto.

    I, for one, propose a collaborative post between chingobling and Moroccan Missle Silo. Chingo might be my new favorite commenter and Moroccan would make a great straight man.

  117. Martin says:

    would you offer either capps or valverde for alexi if I already have hill and Kelly johnson at second, a good OF and rafael furucal at SS

  118. Prince says:

    @p0rk burn: I second your suggested collaborative post idea, pork burn. Gold!

    Hoping Krenshaw settles down ..

  119. BigFatHippo says:

    @Martin: See if he’ll take Hill and KJ or one of the closers. Hill and KJ have to be a sell high, can’t last forever.

  120. I'm Keith Hernandez says:

    Just traded Holliday/Werth/Lilly and Carpenter for Carlos Lee/ Granderson and Slowey. Great for me cause I was about to drop Lilly! I love trades feels so good

  121. BigFatHippo says:

    Tim Mcclelland is a jackass! Who’s he think he is, Tim the Sorcerer!!!!!!!!

    Bases loaded, 2 out, Thurston takes a low pitch, Mcclelland waits till he gets halfway down the line then rings him up, inning over!!!!!!!!!!!!

    No wonder George Brett went all pine tar head on him, jackass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  122. BigFatHippo says:

    Oh, and he hadn’t called a low pitch strike the whole game. [email protected]#^&!!

  123. Martin says:

    @hippo- i dunno i’m kinda high on both hill and kelly. I feel like they wont do as good as they are doing now but will both have great seasons

  124. BigFatHippo says:

    @Martin: They might be ok as a middle infidel, but not as a starting 2b. If you get Alexie, you don’t need one of them, pick one, I’d keep Hill, deal KJ and a closer.

    Did I mention I hate Tim Mcclelland?

  125. Martin says:

    are u really that high on alexi. And which closer (look above)

  126. p0rk burn says:

    I hope the Salty F&$%^*& Biscuits and IowaCubs have their seat belts buckled because p0rk burn is storming up the standings. The people have spoke and the champ is back.

  127. BigFatHippo says:

    @p0rk burn: You and me both buddy. Smelly Gonzales already gettin what he needs outta Dunn.

    As they say in the bootheel (all the frickin time) GITERDUNN!

  128. Steve says:

    @BigFatHippo: Dunn for Damon working out about equal so far ;-)

  129. BigFatHippo says:

    @Steve: S’OK, I was Dunn with Damon when he left the Sawx.:)

  130. BigFatHippo says:

    @BigFatHippo: :) Like that see……

  131. Schlitzy says:

    Andrus or Wood?

  132. cubbies299 says:

    Which side do you like? Beltran/Hawpe or Fielder/Bruce. I’m thinking the latter, which would be what I’m obtaining. It’s 14 team mixed w/ ops

  133. BigFatHippo says:

    @Doc: I like it! I’m the Dunner one obviously.

    Team Huckleberry batting .247, Extra Krispie!

  134. cubbies299 says:

    Which trade do you like better?

    Beltran for Fielder/Burrel
    Beltran/Hawpe for Fielder/Bruce
    Beltran/Baker for Fielder/Bruce

    (my pitching staff is only vazquez/verlander/kazmir/lowe/Baker/Weaver with Price in the minors)

    14-team mixed with OPS as a category.

  135. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Grey: grey 12 team 5×5,got cruz,manny,crawford,ortiz,bradley and spillbourghs.Drop spill for teahen?kind of need sb`s but if spill doesnt play much,then his 10 sb`s arent that great.Whatcha think

  136. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @BigFatHippo: your dunner because youve drank to much and your dunner

  137. BigFatHippo says:

    @cubbies299: I don’t like Beltran involved in any of these, don’t you have a hot outfielder with no track record you can offer? Fielder owners have to be scrambling, no?

  138. Iceman says:

    I am drunk. Can someone do the math on extrapolating Quentin’s 7 HRs in 43 ABs into 600 ABs or so?

    Thanks in advance.

    (I read this 3 times to make sure it was all spelled right)

  139. Homer at the Bat says:

    Hey… anybody know why Morales got pulled after 2 innings tonight?

  140. G says:

    Is Raul Ibanez going to keep up this production for the whole season or should I try to get value and sell him high while I can right now. Im just wondering if you can name 2 or 3 solid players I can target to trade Ibanez for. Im lacking in rbi’s (Ibanez is 2nd on my team), and steals . What type of player that has solid average, good amount of rbi’s and more than average steals can I get for Ibanez. Any position doesnt matter
    thanks in advance

  141. Iceman says:

    @G: Package him and another player for a 5 tool OF like Kemp? Hard to say without knowing your team.

  142. AL KOHOLIC says:

    everyones(especially grey`s)bitch dog thus far alexi,is 2-3 with a sb,i can see the light,i dropped him after an april slump last year only to werp as he lit it low now.

  143. Homer at the Bat says:

    @Iceman: That would put Quentin on a pace for 97.67 dingers. Clearly, that last .67 of a homer is going to put you over the top for the league championship.

  144. BigFatHippo says:

    @sean: Way to call Ankiel out, he got pissed at you.

    Frankenbeard strikes again, nice 9th!

    @Iceman: Ha, don’t have my cipherin machine here or I’d figure it out for you. Nice spelling!

    On second thought, figure 7 every 50 (rounded off) times 12 equals 84. Can’t be done, unless it’s Dunn!

  145. cubbies299 says:

    @BigFatHippo: You really don’t think Baker/Beltran for Fielder/Bruce helps me? This is my team:

    C: Ianetta
    2B: Bri Rob
    SS: Tulo
    3B: Wright
    OF: Kemp
    OF: Quentin
    OF: Beltran
    Util: Hawpe
    Util: Krisby

    SPs as mentioned above

  146. I'm Keith Hernandez says:

    Peavy just gave up a slam to Renteria! ugh

  147. Peter G says:

    time to pick up mark reynolds? If that D-Back’s team besides lopez decides to hit, batting fourth should boost up those rbi’s considering he batted sixth last year and all most drove in 100. Do I drop kendrick or jose lopez, now that i have picked up hill, aaron?

  148. BigFatHippo says:

    @cubbies299: Ahh, you’re the one with the huge hole, I know her. Sorry man, I forgot about LaGross.

    Do it then, can’t hurt. FYI, I’m holding on Fielder, he’ll pick it up, just also high on Beltran.

  149. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @I’m Keith Hernandez: ugh x 2,and i got galaraga getting bitch slapped at the moment to

  150. I'm Keith Hernandez says:

    @Steve: Anyone else getting a little worried about Peavy? I was offered Liriano/Armamis for Peavy/Davis. That pitch he threw to Renteria was a softball right over the plate.

  151. Iceman says:

    @BigFatHippo: Thanks for your help. I actually was electrocuted while mixing my last drink, and remembered how to calculate it. I think Quentin could hit 93 bombs and drive in 500 runs this year.

  152. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Iceman: now i know why they call u ice-man,,hehe

  153. Iceman says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: ICE COLD, NO MISTAKES. Except when I killed Goose. My bad.

  154. Steve says:

    @I’m Keith Hernandez: I was kinda hoping for a 1-0 win (didn’t care to who) with the only run scored on an error.

    But, Renteria? WTF?

  155. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Iceman: i knew`s just nice to be amungst other drunkerds,huff hits me 2 tonight,not feeling so bad about that late rounder so far,anyone else got imput on me cropping spillbourghs for teahen?

  156. cubbies299 says:

    @BigFatHippo: Crap, why can’t sherril be a donkey corn and not a brain freeze. Guy offered me Sherril/Burrel/Fielder for Beltran. I think i gotta pull trigger

  157. Steve says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Well, he just grounded into a double play with the sacks full…

  158. BigFatHippo says:

    @Peter G: Dump Kendrick if you need CI help. Hill will be solid and steady.

  159. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Steve: your not drunk yet ,it`s noy noon yet there tomorrow,i think

  160. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @BigFatHippo: you gonna answer my Q about spill and teahen?it`s noy in our keeper league

  161. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Steve: you to,read post 170

  162. BigFatHippo says:

    @cubbies299: Man, I don’t like Pat the Bat replacing Beltran but you gotta do what you gotta do.

    You still have Kemp and Quentin as studs, fill in as needed.

  163. BigFatHippo says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Ha, I just plain ol don’t like Teahen. Dropped him years ago, he’s like spoiled milk, you pull him out, take a drink, gag, then put him back in the fridge thinkin it might be okay tomorrow. Like every ex-gash I ever had.

    It’s NOT gonna be Ok tomorrow!

  164. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @BigFatHippo: but she did the job,didnt she?

  165. Steve says:

    WTF is Peavy doing?

  166. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: aint got stat tracker yet,whats up in our yahooters

  167. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Steve: getting ready to get pinch hit for,,pitchers?drive me crazy

  168. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @BigFatHippo: spill 0-4 and not stole a base all year,wandering if he even gets 2 3rds the ab`s?if not ,ill need to get someone else,damn counting on him for 20-20

  169. BigFatHippo says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: Yahooters, I like that.

    You’re 1st, I’m 2nd, Steve dropped to 7th. Means nothing, it’s early. Could change pitch by pitch. It’s all bunched up.

  170. AL KOHOLIC says:

    and then there were none

  171. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @BigFatHippo: ha,our cruzzer cuce is working though,i got him in 12 teamer you in the keeper league,,are we going to sell high?or hope he hits 280

  172. Iceman says:

    Tonight when I go to sleep, I’m going to fantasy-rape Chris Davis and Brandon Webb. And I will fantasize that they are terrified. Because they are reality-killing the digital baseball team I fantasize about.

    Time for another drink– catch up!

  173. Steve says:

    @BigFatHippo: @AL KOHOLIC: Damn league I care least about is the one I’m doing the best in!

  174. BigFatHippo says:

    @Steve: Welcome to the show kid, public leagues, eh!

    You got the call-up though!

  175. BigFatHippo says:

    @Steve: Maybe Utley will get you two hookers.

    Search it guys!

  176. Steve says:

    @BigFatHippo: Easy there, big fella – it’s not a public league.

    Still getting used to the dynamics of roto ;-)

  177. BigFatHippo says:

    @Iceman: Hehe, don’t kill Goose again.

  178. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Steve: im wanting Victorino,for a sub,,he might hit for low ave this year but i need sb`s,make an offer,only a 10 team 3 o.f. league remember now

  179. BigFatHippo says:

    @Steve: Sorry, forgot, you have actual baseball fans in the Zealand.

    Apparently Steve is the exalted ruler, but not last year, the Mr B killed you eh?

  180. Steve says:

    @BigFatHippo: Don’t get me wrong, the competition is MUCH tougher in the roto leagues.

    Wasn’t really the MR Bs that did me in. Made the semis had a really solid couple of weeks but the guy I was playing had Reyes, A-Gonz and Cantu get red-hot just at the right time.

    I’ve always got an excuse handy!

  181. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Steve: @Steve: i can relate to that ,ive always been told that i have a drinking problem,and i agree,my problem is,i have to work to often to drink as much as i`d like,ha,the 1st step to recoery,s admitting the problem

  182. Steve says:

    Is Burriss worth holding on to? Is he ever going to hit?

  183. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Steve: i just dropped him,sure he will steal some but damn,he`s stinkin early

  184. p0rk burn says:

    @The last three hours: Razzball after hours. Its like cable after midnight, but with baseballs instead of boobs. Does talking to each other in the comments mean you aren’t drinking alone?

  185. cubbies299 says:

    Who do you like more? Hideki Matsui or Kuo? Holds league

  186. cubbies299 says:

    @BigFatHippo: Oh it’s an ops league and I see that Burrel routinely posts over .850. Does that make beltran for fielder/kuo/burrel (and a tossin of bumgarner in minor leagues) a good trade for me?

  187. cubbies299 says:

    i’m freakin here, can someone help me on this? Also, should I punt Wang or Franklin Morales in this trade?

  188. Steve says:

    @Grey: What do you think of Cla Meredith?

    Doesn’t strike enough guys out?

  189. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Probably not. But he is fast!

    @cubbies299: Matsui’s not going to get you many Holds. I’d go with Kuo.

    @cubbies299: I’d want the Fielder/Bruce side of the trade.

    Punt Morales and Wang, in that order.

  190. Steve says:

    @Grey: Hmmm. I’ll respect our no-explanations agreement here.

    Grabbed Ram-Ram for a day or two anyway. Doesn’t K many either, but he seems to be in a groove right now.

Comments are closed.