Mitchell Parker peter piper’d a pickle pepper of a game yesterday (8 IP, 0 ER, 1 hit, 2 walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 1.39). Mary Jane smacked her lips on that Parker, in the kisser. But this is when things got weird. I opened Mitchell Parker’s Statcast page and it froze on me. A message […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?
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Kurtz Going To Battle With The Athleticalypse Now
April 21, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 379 Commentsby: Grey
Whaddya say, let’s do a Nick Kurtz post every other day for the rest of the season. For unstints: Random starter pitches well, I write a lede about him, “Yay, Max Meyer, you complete me, not ‘me’ like Renée Zellweger, but ‘me’ as in a 14-strikeout game,” or whoever pitches well, then the next day’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Doh! Could Chandler Simpson Be Any Faster?
April 20, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 423 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, Chandler Simpson went 1-for-3 with his 1st steal as he was called up on Friday. I know OJ, I know Jessica, I do not know Chandler. [sees he stole 104 bags in the minors last year] I now know Chandler. Where his steals total is, it should just say, “Holy schnikes.” Or if that’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Brewers called up Caleb Durbin. What? No, not Dyler Turban. Hey, first rule of Vindaloo Club is don’t talk about the Pakistani Brad Pitt playing Dyler Turban in the Bollywood movie, Vindaloo Club. Second rule, same as the first, stop talking about it! The third rule of Vindaloo Club, don’t ask for mild. It’s curry, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Strider Tries Getting Groove Back But Bassitt Got It
April 16, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 403 Commentsby: Grey
Put on my Dale Murphy jersey, placed my Jimmy Carter coaster under my glass bottle Classic Coke, said five “Jane Fondas” as I threw a dart dead-center into my Ted Turner dartboard. I was locked into the A-T-L, and you could tell because I was asking everyone to call me Grey 3000 while singing apologies […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? White Sox Tap Soderstrom Too Many Times And He Explodes
April 15, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 370 Commentsby: Grey
[shakes up a sparkling water, cracks open the bottle and sprays strangers on the street] This Excitement Facial is courtesy of Soderstrom! Why the anger? An Excitement Facial is something you want to take part in and is extremely fun! Geez, sorry, you don’t have to punch me! When the creator of the Soderstrom sold […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Boston Baked By Rays’ Hellish Bats And Baz Raising Hell
April 14, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 394 Commentsby: Grey
Tanner Houck went 2 1/3 IP, 11 ER, ERA at 9.16, and I don’t care how you “fantasy baseball.” You can “fantasy baseball” by drafting catchers early. You can “fantasy baseball” by taking pitchers early. You can “fantasy baseball” by not wearing pants. I do not care. But if you “fantasy baseball” and did not […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Jung Has Yankee Announcers Saying “Hoo Lee Cow!”
April 13, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 478 Commentsby: Grey
Singing “Jung Hoo” to Stevie Wonder’s Jungle Fever. I got Jung Hoo fever, She got Jung Hoo fever, We’ve got Jung Hoo fever, we’re in love. She’s gone Korean boy crazy, I’ve gone Korean boy crazy– [the Cancel Police take a batter ram to the door, charge in and drag me away] It’s okay! Stop! […]
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San Francisco Giants outfielder slash heartthrob slash kpop superstar Jung Hoo Lee showed the Bronx how Lee-git he is Friday night with a 3-run bomb off Marcus Stroman in the first inning that looked a little something like this. Hoo Lee moly! Jung Hoo dat? The home run was his first of the season, and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Twinkies Festaing On Some Lil’ Zebbies
April 10, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 239 Commentsby: Grey
David Festa will start today for the Twins, and there’s rumors that Zebby Matthews will be called up this weekend to take part in a six-man rotation. Or as Lionel Richie would say, “We’re going to Party, Zebby, Festa, forever. Come on, and sing my song!” Lionel Richie is a big-time fantasy baseball guy, by […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? DBacks Go Phaadty Boombabatty On O’s
April 9, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 293 Commentsby: Grey
Having a normal one: when I think about how I drafted Gunnar Henderson instead of Corbin Carroll pic.twitter.com/D5lH8sD9zi — Razzball (@Razzball) April 9, 2025 Yesterday, Corbin Carroll (2-for-4, 2 runs) hit his 5th homer. Meh, only five more homers than Gunnar, en bee dee. “No reason to panic,” he says while sobbing and plunging into […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Paris Dishing Out Some Batatouille
April 8, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 322 Commentsby: Grey
Yesterday, Kyren Paris (1-for-3, 2 RBIs) hit his 3rd homer. At the worst, a hot schmotato. At the best, he’s hosting the last Olympics in his brain and we’re all Raygun. At most realistic, he’ll be hot for a few weeks until teams figure him out. At the most illuminating, I just realized Gaylord Perry […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?