Suarez & Seattle Mount Atlanta And Kick Them In Rainier

Nothing is normal in Seattle this year. It’s like grunge has returned but as a clean-shaven Buddy Holly Happy Days music. Coffee is now tea, and the space needle is shooting adrenaline directly into our hearts. This team is an offensive juggernaut, emphasis on jugger, deemphasize naut. They were in Atlanta yesterday, who is also […]

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See all of today’s starting lineups

#	MLB Starting Lineups For Sun 9/7
	ARI \| ATH \| ATL \| BAL \| BOS \| CHC \| CHW \| CIN \| CLE \| COL \| DET \| HOU \| KC \| LAA \| LAD \| MIA \| MIL \| MIN \| NYM \| NYY \| PHI \| PIT \| SD \| SEA \| SF \| STL \| TB \| TEX \| TOR \| WSH \| OAK

Freeland Of The Kyle

by: Dan Pants

Colorado Rockies starting pitcher—wait, what? Seriously? Well, alright then, let’s do this! Colorado Rockies starting pitcher slash heartthrob Kyle Freeland shut down the San Diego Padres for eight dominant innings, allowing just two hits and striking out ten for his fourth win of the year. Coors is a Freeland now! Denverites rejoice! The southpaw, who […]

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Mets Obey Their Thirst For Rookie Pitchers And Grab A Sproat

September 4, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 100 Comments

by: Grey

Mets’ conveyor belt of young impressive arms wraps around the world at the Equator, then loops up over South America like two suspenders and the head, Jeremy Hefner, is Canada, and the crotch area is whatever David Peterson’s done the last month and the armpits in New Jersey and Los Angeles (my two homes, aw, […]

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Horton’s Throwing Donuts

September 3, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 130 Comments

by: Grey

I kinda like the searching I have to do now to make sense of a pitching line. It’s like: “Ooh, Cade Horton is through five innings and he’s got a no hitter with only one walk and six Ks (or 5 IP, 0 ER, 0 hits, 1 walk, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.78). He’s managed […]

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Jazz Hands The Astros Two Rat-A-Tat-Tats And A Stolen Be-Bop-A-Base

September 2, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 192 Comments

by: Grey

“He missed May.” That’s the note I have Post-It’d next to the name Jazz Chisholm Jr. in my brain. Yesterday, he went 3-for-4, 3 RBIs with a double slam (27, 28) and legs (26), as he hits .243. The counting stats are weak-ish; for some reason he’s hitting 7th, but a 30/30 season is hard […]

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Gambling On September Callups Brought To You By Kenny Rogers’ Rosters

September 1, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 187 Comments

by: Grey

I’m not one to yearn for the long-gone, halcyon days, waning nostalgic for the old stuff. Faster games are nice, I like the pitch clock and I don’t miss watching pitchers hit. 40-man rosters though? Ah, the salad days. Back in the day (2019), rosters would turn from a soda can to a Foster’s. We’d […]

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Reds Bringing Potato Sal Kid To The Labor Day BBQ

August 31, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 178 Comments

by: Grey

A creepy guy in a long trench coat, “Hey, wanna see something?” He flashes open his coat and inside the coat is dozens of corner infielders. That’s the Reds. They are the horniest anyone’s ever been for a corner infielder. Honestly, I didn’t even know that was a fetish, but I am not here to […]

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Jonah’s Got Mets Fans Singing The Tong Song

August 30, 2025 | 2025 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 16 Comments

by: MarmosDad

Scandalous. Can’t handle this. But the New York Metropolitans said it anyway. “Let me see that Tong” was the cry heard around the fantasy baseball world last night as the Mets recalled top pitching prospect, Jonah Tong (5 IP, 1 ER, 6 H, 0 BB, 6 Ks) in his first career start AND gave him […]

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99 Bottles Of Buy On The Wallner

August 29, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 151 Comments

by: Grey

If you blink at Matt Wallner‘s stats, you can see how he could be a perennial 30+ homer guy hitting .250+. Not a hard blink either, but a fast, something-in-your-eye flutter. If you blink super fast, you see ATT. If you blink super, super fast, you see TWA. Lots of old brands. Don’t see Wetzel’s […]

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Braves Fourget To Switch To A No-Schwarb Diet

August 28, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 129 Comments

by: Grey

Saw someone recently make the case that Kyle Schwarber (4-for-6, 9 RBIs, 46th, 47th, 48th and 49th homers) would be a terrible Hall of Famer. Not like he’d enter the Hall and pee on the memorabilia, but as in he does not belong. Well, I say, I want a Hall where he does belong! Assuming […]

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Lord Byron And Duke Schneider Lead Power Barrage In Toronto

August 27, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 146 Comments

by: Grey

I made char sui pork recently. Was very good, easy too! Slather a bunch of stuff on the pork belly, roast it for five hours and slob-down on the oink. Nah’mean? That feeling I had when I was slob-downing on the oink that was what it was like having so many of these Jays/Twins hitters! […]

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Mets Slip Some Tong Into Rotation

August 26, 2025 | Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes, Featured | 119 Comments

by: Grey

Have you seen Jonah Tong? He looks like Tim Lincecum had sex with Tim Lincecum, and their baby would be Jonah Tong. Call Jonah Tong: Inceptioncum. ACKSUALLY, if k.d. lang had sex with k.d. lang, then Lincecum and Linceum’s baby and lang and lang’s baby stepped into The Fly teleporter at the same time and, […]

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