Chris Carpenter will undergo surgery on a compressed nerve in his shoulder. Word in The Bootheel is he’ll be fine for spring training. This will be something to watch in March and should be a decent-sized question mark during next year’s drafts. Will definitely be a high risk, high reward-type scenario. No Whammy, no Whammy, stop! Ooh… Further shoulder issues and the 60-day DL. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Moss – With a divot forming on his knee, he needs surgery that will sideline him for 6-8 months. Can’t they just fill his knee in with some sod? Steven Pearce should see action in his stead. Yo, watch where you’re standing! That’s my stead!

Asdrubal Cabrera – Wasn’t supposed to start his suspension until Thursday, but he started it yesterday. Drop The Dribble while he serves his three game suspension.

Ryan Shealy – HR yesterday. The Royals as a team are hot, which is to say they are one game out of last place. Rooting for the Royals is like rooting for your widowed Granny to find a male suitor. It’s nice to see her happy, but you don’t want to see her too happy because that’s just weird.

Chad Billingsley – I love this sumbitch. As Scully may have said (I didn’t watch), Billingsley might not have had his best tonight, but the Padres haven’t had their best all season. The Dodgers are looking like they’re playoff bound. This might cost Billingsley a start on Sunday.

Cliff Pennington – Did nothing yesterday, but he has speed and the A’s have been playing him at 2nd. He’s worth a flier for steals.

Wandy Rodriguez – 5 IP, 0 ER and 7 Ks. The Magic Wandy was strait-jacketed and dunked in a tank of E-9 by Wigginton, causing him to loss because of two unearned runs.

Evan Longoria – HR yesterday. The Rays pulled the ol’ Little League switcheroo yesterday in the second game of the DH. They sat some regulars then let them all pinch hit in the 8th as the Rays rallied for 6 runs. Free soft serve for everyone!

Tim Lincecum – Gave up four earned runs in only 4 and a third innings, but no fear he still threw 102 pitches. I have to think this carves Webb’s name on the Cy Young that the Giants so desperately wanted Lincecum to win more than ever make it through another healthy season.

Kenji Johjima – This KazIwadome rewarded patient owners with a 3-for-4 night and 3 RBIs. And by ‘patient owners,’ I mean owners that haven’t checked their fantasy baseball team since March when they auto-drafted Johjima.

Javier Vazquez – 4 IP, 5 ER. Guillen pulled a Mickey and asked to see Vazquez’s conjones. Vazquez showed marbles.

Scott Baker – 7 IP, 1 ER. Watch your feet, Baker’s throwing down a gauntlet.

Ryan Franklin – Grabbed the save yesterday, while Motte closed out the 7th inning and Chris Perez nailed down the 2nd out of the 8th inning.

Augie Ojeda – Batted 2nd and played 3rd base in the Diamondbacks biggest game of the season. Yost and Melvin obviously had a gentlemen’s bet of $1 to see who could get fired the latest in the season.

Cliff Lee – 7 IP, 5 ER and 12 earned over the last 21 and 1/3 innings. Comatose Indians fan, “Cliff, save some for the playoffs!”

Edinson Volquez – 7 and 1/3 innings, 1 ER and 9 Ks, but was pulled after only 98 pitches. Maybe Dusty let Paper, Rock, Ulnar Collateral Ligament Reconstruction Surgery Scissors decide.

  1. cruisinkc says:

    Better spot start tonight?
    Buehrle @ Min
    Matt Harrison vs. Oak

  2. Grey,
    Kind of a random “name game” question, but who do you like more as a late-round outfielder going into next year: Elijah “you dead, dawg… your kids too” Dukes or yesterday’s sleeper spoiler alert Chris Dickerson? With Dukes, you can argue that a healthy season of productivity would’ve made him at least a 25/25 player. Dickerson’s surgery seems minor, but you’ve also got to consider that the Reds could bring in a vet of the Freel or Patterson variety to play CF and hit .185 the first month of the season.

  3. Grey

    Grey says:

    @cruisinkc: Not crazy about either, but I’d go Buehrle.

    @VanHammersly: As of right now? You have to go with “Put Up Your” Dukes “Cause I’m About To Kill You.” Dickerson should be fine by spring training but he’s not guaranteed playing time, as you say. Dukes is more assured of playing time. If next March they both have a starting job, I want Dickerson.

  4. Frank Rizzo says:

    My Scott Baker pick up paid off huge dividends.

    Now, do I dare test the fates against the White Sox yet again? Scott Lewis gets the start against the Sox on Friday. They have not seen Lewis yet. Is it a worthwhile gamble?

  5. Shogun says:

    I’m currently visiting my parents in Minnesota. We got to talking about the Twins, and my dad asked, “Who’s pitching tonight?”

    “Nick Blackburn,” I said. “He’s yawnstipating.”

    Then I explained that a yawnstipating pitcher can be effective but does not throw hard and does not strike out many batters.

    He understood perfectly.

  6. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Shogun: Ha! That’s awesome. The lexicon is catching on.

    Right now, Rudy and I are trying to figure out what to call Wandy. A homebody? Or on house arrest?

    Then his opposite? A road scholar?

  7. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: I wouldn’t do the Lewis start there.

  8. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Actually, I should say, it depends on your situation. Are wins desperate? Do you have margin of error on ERA and WHIP? H2H? How deep? But my first instincts are to say, I don’t like it.

  9. Steve says:

    @Grey: Does Wandy homeschool opposing hitters?

  10. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Ha! Nice. Put in the forum thread. Road Scholar and Homeschool are better together.

  11. @Steve: Nice…Homeschool beats Homebody….

  12. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Grey: I’m in the fight of my life for the finals. Yahoo league. A week and a half of stats and we are deadlocked 7-7 at the moment. Every single category is still up for grabs. It’s ridiculous.

    I doubt he’ll pick up Lewis because he won’t trust him. I’ll wait until Thursday night. A lot is riding on this Minny/Chicago series. I wonder if by Friday the White Sox have it wrapped up….if so, Lewis may be worth taking a chance on against Chicago backups. Ozzie would love to get all those old farts a rest I’d assume.

  13. Frank Rizzo says:

    Also, Milton Bradley is there for me to take if I want him. Would he be a step up on Pence right now? A step up on Victorino? HR’s and RBI are critical to me right now. I currently have a 2 SB lead and he doesn’t have a ton of speed. I’m wondering if Bradley is a good play for a couple days.

  14. Shogun says:

    @Grey, Steve, and Rudy Gamble: I like homebody and road scholar, but home schooled and road scholar really go well together. I wonder if there isn’t a way to work “homeboy” or “homie” in? Like, Wandy Rodriguez is a bona fide homeboy in Houston but he’ll get his ass hit if he leaves town.

  15. Frank Rizzo says:

    NOOOOO! I got cute and added Votto while dropping Blalock Tuesday Night. Blalock just hit his 4th HR in as many days. I can’t pick him up until tomorrow and can’t use my waiver on him because I dropped him. I’m screwed. He’ll be picking him up first thing in the AM. Idiot!

  16. Steve says:

    Hank strikes again!

    I’ve benched him for a speed guy cos I need steals and I’m up 15-6 in HRs but it still still hurts a little to get Sonavabenched…

  17. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: I don’t think the Central will be decided by then and Lewis may be up against a hungry team. I don’t think I’d do it, but I guess we’ll know more tomorrow.

    I want Bradley over Victorino, but only if I have someone that I can fill in for Bradley if he sits, which he’s prone to do. If you have no worthy bench players, leave Victorino in there or go for someone else.

    @Shogun: Yes, agreed that homeschooled and Road Scholar work well together. I like your example too. Could you put that into the forum, so we can reference it later when we are making addendums to the Glossary? Thanks!

    @Frank Rizzo: Well, Votto’s not awful, but why would you cut Blalock? Could you not drop Fielder, the NL Player of the Week?

    @Steve: So greedy…

  18. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Grey: I’d pick up Bradley for Pence. Pence has not been that great at all and I’ve been rolling with Victorino everyday. I’d keep Victorino and add Bradley, punting Pence.

    I think I dropped Blalock based on Votto’s matchup or something. I don’t know. Like I said, I’m an idiot. Atkins was my regular 1b but he’s been benched for hotter players like Votto and Blalock. I just should have held onto Blalock. Like I said, I got too cute on that one and now I’m busted.

    I’m going to hold off on Lewis. It’s too close and with Hamels, Shields, CC, Wainwright, and Myers yet to pitch, a lot can happen.

  19. Steve says:

    @Grey: On this occasion you are probably right. Love to see those dingers pile up though!

  20. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Pence has been awful, but you specified HRs and RBIs as being key so I said Victorino gets the boot before Pence. Bradley’s better than either, but only if he plays.

    Yeah, you should wait on Lewis.

    @Steve: Soooo greedy.

  21. Shogun says:

    @Grey: I added it to the forum thread.

  22. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: Reporting from the Bootheel. “Carpenter was diagnosed with a strain of the teres major, a flattened muscle beneath and behind his right shoulder.”

    Yeah? I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, let’s see you pitch with that.

  23. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Shogun: Thanks!

    @BigFatHippo: Um, cool?

    Why can’t the Rangers play every game at home?

  24. Shogun says:

    Off to the ‘Dome to see Blackie burn the Sox. Let’s hope the good guys (MN) win.

  25. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: The Doctor says I can’t sit on the bench for 6 to 8 weeks.

    Dusty said he’ll have me on the bench by Saturday.

  26. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: Dusty has his Bachelor’s in Inexact Science.

  27. BigFatHippo says:


    Ozzie’s got him beat with a Doctorate in Unpolitical Science.

  28. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: Nice.

    Don’t forget LaRussa went to law school, giving him his JD (Just Drunk).

  29. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: I thought JD was Jack Daniels.

    We’ll ask p0rk, he’s a lawyer.

  30. p0rk burn says:

    @BigFatHippo: You are thinking of the JDJD, the most prestigious degree out there. Just Drunk Jack Daniels.

    RCL update is up. Feel free to discuss, I didn’t have time to try to think of something groan-worthy. p0rk is a busy man.

  31. Grey

    Grey says:

    @p0rk burn: Saw it and commented. Thanks for posting.

  32. cubbies299 says:

    who you liking more over the next 3 days, blalock or shealy?

  33. cubbies299 says:

    what are ur thoughts on the gallardo start?

  34. Steve says:

    What the fuck were the Mets doing leaving Ayala in for another inning? He’s been scarcely reliable for one since he took over as closer.

    This could screw me…

  35. cruisinkc says:

    Any of these guys good spot starts for tomorrow?
    Galarraga vs TB
    Maddux vs SD
    Pavano @ Tor
    Sanchez @ Was

  36. cubbies299 says:

    @ cruisinkc Unless salary is a fantasy stat in your league, I wouldn’t touch Pavano with someone else’s roster, much less my own. out of those, Sanchez if you need K’s (but he can easilly blow your ratios halfway to hell), Maddux if you need W’s…

  37. Grey

    Grey says:

    @cubbies299: I think he’s going to get 3 to 5 good innings and then be removed with a no decision.

    @Steve: Aren’t you up in every category?

    @cruisinkc: I agree with Cubbies299. They’re not the best starts, but Maddux could give you a win.

  38. Steve says:

    @Grey: Might be a bit of unecessary panic. but I’m up 7-4 and Saves, Holds, WHIP and ERA are pretty close. The last two weren’t prior to the 10th inning of the Mets/Cubs game.

  39. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: I see what you’re saying. Well, there’s still plenty of baseball to be played this week.

  40. Steve says:

    @Grey: Now 5-5 and he leads the tiebreaker :-(

  41. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: That turned around fast. You had a bad pitching day, huh? Well, there’s still plenty of baseball left to be played.

  42. Steve says:

    @Grey: Only Ayala threw for me. Saves and Holds are tied, and he is just ahead in ERA and WHIP. A scoreless inning would probably put me back ahead in ERA. Throw in a Save and a Hold and it would be 8-4.

    All is far from lost.

  43. Steve says:

    And screw the Dodgers for piling it on in the 8th too.

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Now there’s some positivity.

  45. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Ha, speak too soon.

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