When James Shields swung and missed his haymaker yesterday during the Sawx/Rays brawl, Coco should’ve totally spun him around and gave him a springboard splash to the solar plexus. Then once Shields was down, Coco could’ve laid him on top of the Spanish Announcer’s table and dropped the big ‘bow. But, alas…it was Coco Crisp not Koko B. Ware.
Then three innings after the brawl, Manny tweaked a sore hammy and left the game. As he was limping through the dugout, Manny gave Youuuuuuuuk a solid shove. This was heard right before Manny shoved him. Youkilis, “You know with Big Papi on the DL…if you want to teach me the handshake you do with him, I could try to fill in…” Manny, “You’re not my real Papi! I hate you!” *shove* In the next inning, this transpired: Youk, “Sorry about that Manny. I have this extra Chupa Chup lollipop….” Manny, “Gimme! He he he… Thanks, Millar.” Youk, “We talked about this… My name is… Oh forget it.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:
Jacoby Ellsbury – Left the game with a strained wrist. No word if the injury was sustained during Chupa Chup Gate.
Jon Lester – One thing he didn’t have to fight was his control. He didn’t issue one walk. Was the first time this year he pulled off this pretty unremarkable feat.
Jair Jurrjens – The fairy Brave dust only lasts so long. Hey, whatever happened to Jaret Wright?
Ryan Franklin/Todd Wellemeyer – 7th save/7-1, respectively. Disrespectively, seriously? Coming into the year, these guys were a combined 62-73 with, like, a crappy ERA.
Brad Ausmus – The Astros are throwing in the Towles and reinstating Brad “I will be featured in a future Razzball Spotlight” Ausmus as their catcher. Razztastic.
Josh Banks – I said this yesterday in the comments, “He’s not a strikeout pitcher so your expectations should stay in line, but he could be worthwhile while the league takes time to catch up to him and he does pitch at Petco.” Wow, I’m brilliant. If they gave out virtual blogger awards I’d have a virtual mantle full in my virtual bathroom so I could pretend I virtually don’t care.
Negro League Draft – Dave Winfield helped organize a ceremonial draft where Negro League players were picked as honorary members of MLB teams. Very touching. It must be a special day for all these players as they approach their twilight years. The biggest applause was for Atlanta’s pick. A middle infielder known for his distinct batting stance and line drive power. His name is Julio Franco.
Jimmy Rollins – Was benched for not running out a popup. By that logic, Pat Burrell should’ve been benched for the last three years.
Homer Bailey – His 2008 debut was thwarted by a Cole Hamels 3 hit shutout. The game was billed as the best matchup of mulleted young pitchers since a young Randy Johnson faced off against Chuck Finley. Bailey’s control problems carried over from AAA (4 BB in 6.1 IP) and he only had 1 K and that was the pitcher. Stick with common sense and don’t add a pitcher with the name ‘Homer’ to your team…
Jay Bruce – Looks like he went oh-for-four yesterday, but we all know that is not possible, so I’m going to assume he was pulling one of those switcheroos like William Hurt does in that movie with the guy from Lost and the black guy with the droopy eye. (I would’ve said *SPOILER ALERT*, but no one would consider that movie something you could spoil and I never even saw the movie, I’m going on the spoiler from the trailer.)