I’m not a religious girl, but when I was sitting down to write this post and saw the magic words “Stephen Strasburg versus the San Diego Padres” and also “@COL” (mmm, strudel), I raised my hands and gave up a “hallelujah.” Which caused some raised eyebrows in the coffee shop I was sitting in, let me tell you (ugh, whatEVer, Man Yelling Into Skype About His Deck Repairs).

So it’s fair to say I’m reasonably excited about Stephen’s match-up today. Even if he does cost me $11,100 (gulp). Collectively, the Padres are hitting .221 at time of writing. They’re the third-worst team in MLB (and I hate pointing all this stuff out — I do root for the Padres). I have some worries: so far this year, Strasburg’s K/9 is a little down (8.80) and his ERA at home is not ideal (4.00 at home versus 2.70 away), but I gotta have faith. I also want to stack some Rockies and Cardinals bats. Trying to squeeze all this into my FanDuel salary cap is gonna hurt like kneeling too long at church when you’re as old as I am, but I’ll make it work.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

Don’t get me wrong, I love playing roto fantasy baseball. But as I look despairingly at my overflowing DL slots in my leagues, wondering whether I have the stamina to keep grinding away at this six-month marathon, this war of attrition, I’m reminded all over again why I also love DFS. DFS is the oasis you stumble into from the Roto Desert, just often enough for a little refreshment and to refill your water bottles, when your roto camels are so loaded up with DTD and DL’d players that their knees are buckling and your first-round picks are obviously so parched they haven’t had the strength to get more than 3 hits in the last week (I’m looking at you, Miggy). At the gates of DFS, Jose Altuve hands you a glass of champagne and says, “Welcome to Fantasy Island.” You walk in and the place is swarming with star players, just lying about under the palm trees, waiting for you so they can help make you rich. You can have any player you want (for a price, of course). Chris Sale? Sure! Bryce Harper? Why not! Mike Trout? Go for it, if you’ve got still got room in your salary cap! I feel like a kid in a candy store, getting to build the most fantasiest fantasy FanDuel lineup I possibly can. Sometimes that build is easy and sometimes it’s a challenge and sure, it doesn’t always work out, but you know what? You just shrug it all off and try again next time.

Here endeth my little ode to DFS; now let’s go ahead and sample today’s buffet at the FanDuel oasis.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot  for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m a tad worried about the comments this headline may generate, so maybe I should explain: this isn’t a Classified ad, but an ode to Chris Sale. Because today The Condor, a.k.a. the Jersey Slasher, takes the mound with his stupid-low 1.92 ERA and 73 Ks in 52 IP. If this were any other pitcher, I might offer a caveat that this start versus the Rays takes place at Fenway, but Sale’s been better at home (1.50 ERA in 4 starts at home versus 2.49 in 3 starts away). And Tampa has not: their road BA is .210, versus .265 at home (apparently they’re the only team that knows how to play at the bloody Trop). This is also tasty because Tampa does not do well against lefties. I expect them to go quietly against Sale. That said, on FanDuel today, we’re pretty much going to have sell ourselves on a street corner to be able to afford Sale (especially if you’re earning Canadian dollars!).

So if you’re not into what Chris is selling, it’s also a Rockies-at-home weekend, Fact Fans! If I were a lazier girl, I’d say “if you don’t want to pay up for Sale, just stack every Colorado bat you can” and cut this post short, but that would just not be cricket (if it were cricket, I’d be watching a five-day-long game involving men wearing white trousers with red smears on their crotches, which… You know, I kind of miss cricket). And there are several tasty Miami-Atlanta match-ups today, too, so I’m gonna try squeezing some Dodgers, Mariners and Marlins into my lineup. Let’s see how I got on…

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I had the occasion to travel to Montreal this week. I live a mere two-hour train ride away, but visiting Montreal always feels like entering a different country. Suddenly, you’re surrounded by French. You can get the best bagels <looks defiantly at New York>. People are Paris-elegant. All the boys are still wearing man-buns, because dear God they are still pulling it off. Also, suddenly, there’s no Blue Jays on the telly: in Montreal, they’re (wistfully) all about the Washington Nationals. It’s partly a TV rights thing, partly a geography thing, but also partly because, of course, the Nats used to be the Montreal Expos. So all that to say (at last! The point!), this week I got to watch a fair bit of the Diamondbacks versus Nats series. The Nats ultimately ran away with it, but Arizona, second-place run leaders, were so fun to watch. I’m looking forward to tracking them in Colorado this weekend and I’m going to hoard as many Diamondbacks and Rockies bats in my FanDuel lineup as I can today (spoiler alert: not many — they’re pricey. [Shocker!]), and find ways to plug up the gaps. That said, in case you’re looking to pursue a strategy that may be a little different from mine, Boston and Baltimore bats should make for good picks versus Nick Tepesch and Dylan Covey, respectively. Without further Machado, let us unveil the crystal ball (because really this is a crap shoot, isn’t it?) and see what the future holds.

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

In 2008, Eric Thames was drafted by the Blue Jays. At the very end of Spring Training in 2012, he won the starting left fielder job over Travis Snider (it was a fierce competition, but in our house, it was always Team Thames). It did not go well and by August 2012, he’d been traded to Seattle for relief pitcher Steve Delabar. (Steve Delabar who, now relegated to the Cleveland minor league system, was given an 80-game suspension for PED use this week.) Shortly thereafter, Thames took his talents and his fine, fine biceps to the Korean league, and the rest, as they say, is history. As a Jays fan, I’m pretty depressed about all this back-story (well, I’m Jays-depressed generally right now, TBH; the highlight of my baseball week was Chris Coghlan’s audition for the Cirque du Soleil), but I’m going to make myself feel better by building a whole damn FanDuel lineup around Eric Thames. I choose to believe that this Saturday is not the day he stops hitting, and this matchup versus lefty Jaime Garcia, at home in Milwaukee, is the gift that all mournful baseball girls (and boys) deserve. I’m slotting Mike Trout in as well and filling in the gaps around them both. Thankfully, there are also some good pitchers on the slate today who won’t break the bank.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m with Streamonator: Carlos Carrasco is your No-Brainer O’ the Day. (Not to be confused with your Darren O’ the Day, which is a fish submarine sandwich.) The last time Carrasco faced the White Sox, at home, it was to the tune of 1 ER over 7 innings, and this matchup is in the more pitcher-friendly Sox park. (Mind you, his last start versus the Tigers was a tad more worrying — still only 2 ER, but he struggled with command.) But today on FanDuel, he’s $10,300. And at the same time, the Giants are in Coors. I’ve set myself a silly challenge: to play Carlos Carrasco AND stack as many Coors bats as possible, all while plugging the remaining holes as cheaply (and well? Ha) as I can. And you’ll see that through my own stubbornness, I’ve created possibly the most lopsided FanDuel lineup ever, one that will need complete rejigging if any one of my players doesn’t actually start. Like George Michael, I may come to be filled with regret and (totally logical consequence to cheating on someone!) never dance again, but it’s not for nothing that my mother calls me Victoria Mary Quite Contrary. So here goes!

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello, peeps! It’s the day before the most wonderful day of the year: it’s Chocolate Eve! Today, somewhere in a burrow far, far away, the Easter Bunny is busily laying his eggs and packing them into baskets, ready to be delivered to all the good children. (Sidebar questions: Why is a rabbit laying eggs? Why is he a he and not a she? Why use baskets, an incredibly impractical mode of transportation for eggs? WHY IS HE GIVING AWAY HIS OWN CHILDREN TO BE EATEN?). And if you’re good today (at drafting your FanDuel team, that is), perhaps you will be delivered a bunny-dle of cash tomorrow along with all that chocolate. So let’s hop to it and look at some options for FanDuel for Saturday April 15.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greetings, eh! Auntie Victoria — second girl writer and possibly sole British-Canadian Razzballee (hit me up in the comments if you too spell “favorite” with a “u”) — here with your Saturday FanDuel advice at the end of a long, weird week. In a world <movie trailer voice> where so far there have been four rain-outs! a flu epidemic! James Shields! Miggy yet to get a hit!, is it even safe to say “stack all your Dodgers and Rockies bats today”? In case life as we know it really has turned on its head, let’s look at some Beyond-Coors options, shall we?

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?