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Two weeks down in the baseball season. Only 24 left to play. I miss Bauer. Not Trevor but Jack. Why do some shows have to end? I mean, Hollywood doesn’t have a problem milking the crap out of other garbage. Excuse my French, but C’mon man! Anyways, the point I was trying to make before I took a trip down nostalgia lane was that there’s a lot of baseball games to be played. The sample sizes are small. You all know what Grey would say. With that said, mining the waiver wire and taking advantage of the emotionally unstable will help you say the most beautiful sounding word in the English language.

In this weekly column, I will highlight some players that performed well over the past week and give my insights on them. Making it rain is good. Whammies are… well, they will make you feel like this.

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Welcome to Week 2 or better known as Overreaction Theater. This is the time when every pitch, hit, strikeout and blown save is scrutinized more than a teenager looking in the mirror at pimples. R-E-L-A-X. Baseball is a loooooooong season. So, sit back, consume what you need to, and enjoy the maestro for a few minutes. You good? Chill, now? If you are not, then you must be a cyborg from the future and I must find and destroy you. Speaking of cyborgs, no Week 2 article can be published unless a certain Trevor Story is discussed. Is he real? Is he robot? Can Skynet be hacked? Well, we have had a ManBearPuig and El Oso Blanco so… I guess anything is possible.

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Press Your Luck was a game show in the mid-80’s. Contestants collected spins by answering trivia questions correctly. Then, the magic happened. I’m sure those were some of the reactions to acquiring Carlos Correa off the waiver wire last year. Think of the fantasy baseball player pool as the Press Your Luck game board. Choose wisely or… this. In this weekly series, I will pick one player from each position and try to help you dodge the whammies and win big money. I’m no Michael Larson, the man who cracked the code for Press Your Luck, but that’s like saying I’m no Grey Albright. Duh. Think of me as Tom Vu. Come to my seminar and you too will have beautiful women in your arms from all your winnings.

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The National League Least has the Marlins, Braves and Phillies to thank for the Least moniker, as none of those teams were able to win 72 games last year. The Braves and Phillies are in rebuild mode. What’s your excuse Marlins? At least, they have an awesome sculpture in the outfield. Why? Thank goodness, for the fanatical few on the East Coast that actually read this, least means smallest and not bereft of everything. The Metropolitans and Nationals are juggernauts and represent the division well. Speaking of representing… RIP Phife Dawg. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. Chicks dig the long-ball, so it’s a good thing that some of the preeminent boppers reside in this division. Pitching wins championships, though, and some of the most exciting and young arms are on display. With that said, there are plenty of spots open for the taking. I will discuss the major ones below for each team.

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My initial thought regarding the NL Central was that it was the best division in all of baseball. The St. Louis Cardinals won 100 games last year, while the Pittsburgh Pirates and Chicago Cubs won 98 and 97 games respectively. To put that into perspective, since 1969, there have only been 47 teams to reach the 100 win mark. The division almost had three in the same season! Wilt would chuckle, but wouldn’t be impressed. Anyways, most of the great philosophical enlightenments come from cartoons. This one being particularly relevant. Put another way, the Milwaukee Brewers and Cincinnati Reds are the cellar dwellers, both failing to win 70 wins last year. I guess the division is a microcosm of mankind. You got the “haves” and the “have-nots.” With two punching bags in the division, which elevates the win totals of the other teams, the NL Central cannot be considered the best division in baseball. That distinction probably goes to the AL East, but we are not here to talk about that. We are here to discuss the position battles in the NL Central. So without further adieu Pepe Le Pew….

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The Los Angeles Dodgers have won the last three NL West Division titles. Yipeee!!! The San Francisco Giants:

  

2010. 2012. 2014. For you numerologists and spewers of Mayan Aztec prophecy, that’s the last three even years. What year are we in?  As a Dodgers fan, it pains me to paste those pictures. Stupid pumpkin looking uniforms. It totally messes with my head when I watch the Giants during the summer time. I suddenly get all cold, check the pantry for bags of candy and make sure the porch light is on. Anyways, this is the NL West in a nutshell:

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If you know the name of the man in the above picture, you are a member of the “Golden” generation. Congratulations! You are now old, and will go down in history as the last known people to have experienced life without a smartphone. Oh, you also know what “#” really means. In all seriousness, the early-90s was a glorious time. It was an age when MTV actually showed music videos and Animal Planet used to show… you know… animals. Side rant. Why is it when I turn to Animal Planet, there are no cheetahs chasing gazelles and performing their animal duties? Instead, I am subjected to some dude building tree houses! Anyways, I know you are dying to know the name of that oh-so-handsome man and it’s killing you. So, without further adieu…

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As a Korean-American, I take pride in the job that the “Motherland” has done producing quality products recently. Samsung, LG, and Hyundai are all now well-respected brands. But you can’t forget about the most treasured export: K-pop. (Anytime I’m given an opportunity to insert a GIF of beautiful women dancing, it’s done. You are all welcome.) It wasn’t always so rosy in the land of Seoul though…

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