It’s the run up to the 4th of July! These summer holidays are great ways to gauge your team. Pre-Memorial Day is when your veterans play. 4th of July is when you start rostering hot players on bad teams in hopes of a trade. Do we have a holiday in August? I suppose back to school is a holiday. When the kids are back in class, that’s when the cups of coffee propel your team to playoff victory. I’m not Nostradamus — I can’t see the July trade deadline moves any better than you can. But what I can do, is give you my weekly three adds and cast some shade on a player. Let’s see if we can help your team!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Author: everywhereblair
Editor for Razzball Baseball and Razzball Football. Told you I'm everywhere! Twitter: EverywhereBlair
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It’ll be Father’s Day +1 for American readers when this gets to you. Hope you had a good one! If you had a terrible one and needed to focus on your fantasy teams a bit, then I hope your fantasy team is good. If your fantasy team sucks and your dad sucks and you’re just looking for groan-worthy humor, then you’ve come to the right place! Let’s see if we can get your week started out right:
Please, blog, may I have some more?What’s up Razzerinos? The fantasy baseball year has passed the Memorial Day holiday and has entered into the next phase: where you start hearing about fantasy football. Myself, I’m oddly excited about football season. It could be because my RetroBowl team is about to claim the Super Bowl, if only I could manage not to throw interceptions under pressure. It could also be because the Minnesota Vikings just gave Justin Jefferson an amount of money that feels like Gerrit Cole levels of payment. Watch your slider, Jet! ENYWHEY. Let me know if you’re also pumped for football draft season down in the comments. For everybody else, let’s check the overlooked players that might help your fantasy team:
Please, blog, may I have some more?What’s up, Slaminators? Did you know that the RazzSlam FAAB deadline is tomorrow? I did! I know this because I’ve had a tab open on my computer for weeks informing me that I better not miss FAAB, “or else Grey will smoosh you.” I don’t know how he’s going to smoosh me through the computer, but I dare you Grey! Come at me!
Speaking of, how’s my RazzSlam team doing? At least good enough to get through the cutline, although my pitching has been largely decimated by injuries. Guess who my second-highest scoring pitcher is? Brady Singer. Yeesh. All of this is fine — there’s a lot of baseball left to play. Let’s see if we can find anybody to add to your team and save your fantasy dreams:
Please, blog, may I have some more?We made it to Memorial Day! You know what that means — it’s the time where I finally start preparing my 2022 taxes. You pay these things on a once a decade basis, right? I kid, I kid. I’m just feeling a bit jealous that all the super yachts I see out this weekend are a business tax write-off while I’m deep in my basement lair breathing radon and wondering where my next squishmallow will come from.
Holiday weeks are always rough for fantasy: schedules are weird, players sometimes get a rest, and we’re also in the middle of call-up season. Don’t fret anything too much if you’re off your game this week — just stay the course and remember that you could have drafted a Strider / Cole start to your $1800 league.
Please, blog, may I have some more?We’re heading into the long Memorial Day weekend, which is a great time to crush some cans, start some controlled fires in your backyard, and cook large amounts of meat for friends and family. I was a vegetarian for half the ‘aughts and even I can’t get away from a good backyard grill. American Razzballers — if you’re heading out early, give a shout down in the comments what fun things you’re doing.
Let’s see what we can do to save your team:
Please, blog, may I have some more?The day after Christmas is called “Boxing Day” in the old country because that’s when men and women of status would emerge from their post-supernatal stupor and pummel each other in the street. I know this because I’m a history major. The day after Mother’s Day, while not an official holiday, has quickly become known in knowledgeable circles of fantasy baseball analysts as “My team can’t be worse than how yesterday went so let’s keep on trucking.” The greeting card industry doesn’t know how to market that yet, but I bet it’ll catch on by 2040 or so. That’s 16 more years of baseball tragedy you’ll live through. Just think — you start a dynasty league now, and by the time there’s a national holiday for your fantasy team, that team will be old enough to drive away from you, honking its horn in anger and blasting EDM-remixes of Metallica. At least they fixed Lars’ snare drum sound.
ENYWHEY. Let’s see if we can dig your team out of a hole.
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s mega May! I mean, I wish it was Mega Man, but in lieu of everybody’s favorite pelleter, we’ll talk about some other mega men. May’s about the time when better hitters start showing up — the weather’s warmer, and players have stretched out a bit. There’s still a fair amount of mess for pitchers, especially those fringe innings eaters that will have their roster spots taken by various rookie callups. I know we’re all excited about rookies, but often the callups just don’t work that well. Wyatt Langford, Jackson Holliday, Jordan Beck — I mean, all the guys I list in this article have crushed their numbers and are available on the wire right now. Let’s see if we can diversify your team a bit!
Please, blog, may I have some more? What I Like: Joey Meneses, Jesus Sanchez, Reed Garrett
April 29, 2024 | 2024 Fantasy Baseball | 22 Commentsby: everywhereblair
Fantasy folx! As we come upon the fifth month of the fourth year of this our third millennium of the Common Era within the second baker’s dozen of years, I have but one request of you: Don’t Panic. I mean, a Catcher is in the Top 10 on the Player Rater, Alec Bohm is out-hitting Kyle Tucker. and Taylor Ward outranks Trea Turner. These things happen. Stats are just turning the corner on being “meaningful,” which of course means things like our redactions of “Fantasy Schmohawk” articles are nigh. I kid! We remember fondly our worst calls. Like, Jordan Walker. Sigh. Let’s see if we can recover from our Jordan Walker hopeium.
Please, blog, may I have some more? What I Like: Ryan O’Hearn, Graham Pauley, Jose Butto
April 22, 2024 | 2024 Fantasy Baseball | 27 Commentsby: everywhereblair
It’s the halfway mark to Memorial Day! Yay! I’m trying to figure out my grill situation this year. On the one hand, I feel the primal desire to burn meat, smash it in my fists, and shove it in my face. On the other hand…I dunno, that first reason was really compelling. ENYWHEY. Baseball. The perfect companion to grilling and shoving meat in your face. Let’s see if I’ve got some helpers for your team below.
Please, blog, may I have some more?How’s life? Is it time for your “Hot Fantasy Summer”? You know, when I write that, the SEO algorithm will think this article is on a totally different topic. Instead of beaches and caipirinhas and snorkeling with sea turtles, you’re getting…fantasy baseball! Don’t worry — that turtle was diseased anyway.
We lost the Quadfather this week. Let’s see if we can save your 2024 season, or set up your 2025 season for success:
Please, blog, may I have some more?So, uh, how’s everybody’s team faring this week? Do you have any arms left? Does your fantasy league allow you to put your 2B in as pitcher, much like the major leagues? I’m pretty sure Mookie Betts could see some mound time by the end of the month at the rate injuries are going.
Please, blog, may I have some more?