by: Grey
The peasant Royals finally called up the first baseman, Kila Ka’aihue, who was blocked by Mike Jacobs last year in a boneheaded move. His name is not pronounced Killer Kahlua. Kila has a career .386 OBP in the minor leagues. I guess Moore has no place for that on his team that has a .325 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?As I was thinking about Rudy going off and getting married, I needed a good cry, so I burned myself a sad song CD. Rather than try and find 15 songs that all had the same sentiment, I just put Why Can’t I? by Liz Phair on there 15 times. By the 12th repeat, I […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Brett Cecil appeared in the April 23rd version of the Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell. I liked his strikeout stuff and thought he was up to the task. He secretly confided in me it was a lot of pressure on him. He never had a mustachioed man ask anything of him, at least not one that wasn’t […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?This is a moderate Buy. I wanted to find a player that would make you excited to buy, but I also wanted to cover Grady Sizemore. I owed it to you, loyal Razzball reader. So here we are. Grady has NOT (Hey, it’s Caps Night!) been terribly unlucky. I know BABIP makes you say WTF, […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?In the first act, some creepy kid runs into frame, mumbling, “I see blown saves.” I know Ryan Madson is a Cuddle Boy, but don’t drop him yet. Sorry to get Biblical on you, but hast thou forgotten the wrath Brad Lidge hast broust on ye past teams? Please. Give Lidge a week before abandoning […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Trevor Hoffman has been lights out all year. Maybe he jumped in the Cocoon pool. Octavio Dotel? The post office said they’re going to a five day week because of cutbacks and the amount of fan mail coming in for Dotel. Now hold the preceding up to a mirror. Dotel as a Pirate has done […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Alex Trebek, “Nelson Cruz, Josh Hamilton and Ian Kinsler.” What’s the deal with all of these Rangers having all the upside in the world but not being able to stay healthy? Alex, “Um, okay, we would’ve also accepted, ‘Who are some Ranger players?’ Oh, and nice mustache.” Nelson Cruz has hit the DL five […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Josh Beckett game yesterday was a thing of beauty if you’re into that New Agey art where people smear bodily functions on canvas. 3 IP, 8 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks. I’m not sure what the most disturbing part of this outing was. The lack of Ks? How second nature these terrible starts have become […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Making Eric Young Jr.’s return possible, Brad Hawpe heads to the 15-day DL as he loses his hop. In the last four years of the minors, Eric Young Jr. has 87, 73, 46 and 58 steals, respectively. Or disrespectfully, holy effin’ hey, are you kidding me? That’s so good, Rickey Henderson talks about Eric Young […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Adam Jones is not on a great team. He’s not hitting well. Not to be blunt, but he doesn’t even look like he’s getting stoned anymore in his ESPN profile pic. SOS to Adam Jones, it’s past 4:20, cuz. Grab some Crunk Juice and be fire. Right now, his BABIP, line drive rate, home run […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Carlos Zambrano moves to the bullpen. Whaaaa??? Oh. Wait, what? Somewhere, Dusty Baker just tipped his “Crazy Manager Move” hat to Sweet Lou. Dusty, “After Harang complained of arm soreness, I needed him for another 140 pitches the next day, so I fashioned a pitching arm out of rubber bands and a dead giraffe. Some […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Finally, Jacoby Ellsbury hits the DL. This is probably a DL trip of less than a week. At least the Sawx hope so. Was also revealed Mike Cameron will miss a few weeks with a strained abdomen. (Shouldn’t it be a strained abdoman?) If Cameron needs surgery, he could miss up to two months. Darnell […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?