by: Grey
Did you know that Vapors song, Turning Japanese, is about masturbation? Because when said act is done, a man squints, hence turning Japanese. Things that are offensive aren’t always racist, but, in this case, they are. Too bad The Vapors follow up single, “When I Really Have To Pee, I Dance Like A Cherokee” never […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Joakim Soria went from being a $12 Salad to a Donkeycorn to a Brain Freeze back to a Donkeycorn to off the list completely in 12 short months. And if this is the first post you’ve ever read at Razzball, I probably lost you by the eighth word. Later! In Soria’s wake is Broxton and […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Rookie pitchers give you a roofie. Rookie hitters give you agita. So why do we keep going back for more like a guest on Montel? It’s sorta like the old joke that Woody Allen quotes in Annie Hall. We need the eggs. Besides said eggs, if a rookie somehow/someway breaks out, he’ll help you win […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Ryan Madson has to have Tommy John surgery. Luckily, he signed with a Dusty Baker-managed team as the trainers have a lot of experience diagnosing busted arms. Sean Marshall will likely take over the closing gig, spurring indie comedy fans in Cincy to bring Sean Of The Red signs to games. Best case scenario: Marshall […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2012 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I usually like to keep private emails private, but when it’s matters of the state or sleepers, all is fair. The first email was from Hank from Dearborn, Michigan. Hank writes, “Where’s Brennan Boesch? I’ve been long time reader of Razzball and I wish to know the answer to this question. Until I know said […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
Drew Storen had arm discomfort… About two weeks ago. He hasn’t pitched in a game since March 7th and had soreness in his biceps playing catch yesterday. Playing catch? What, the Nats doing a video for Cat’s in the Cradle? He should be pitching, not playing catch. So that’s one red flag. The bigger red […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
I could probably draft a team of these starters, who are drafted after the 150 mark in mock drafts, and win your league’s pitching stats. In this post last year was Ricky Romero, Hellickson, Kuroda, Gio Gonzalez, Zimmermann, Chacin, Cueto, and Daniel Hudson. I had those guys on multiple teams. I don’t say this to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jason Bourgeois was traded to Royals with Humberto Quintero. Fun fact: Did you know Humberto Quintero weighs exactly a quarter more than Humberto Quadtero? When the trade was announced, Bourgeois said he’d once and for all bring down the tyrannical rule of the Royals and restore a society where Lorenzo Cain lost 75 to 100 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Topics discussed on this week’s podcast include something for everyone who’s ever listened to anything ever in their life. Yes, it’s that all encompassing. We didn’t just let the cat out of the bag. We skinned said cat, put it back in the bag, carried it around the block until PETA showed up and threw […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? by: Grey
The Tigers are reporting that Miguel Cabrera has a small fracture under his right eye, i.e. a non-displaced fracture in the orbital bone. When questioned, Miggy was puzzled, saying, “I don’t chew Orbitz.” The Tigers are saying he will be shut down for a week, but should be ready for Opening Day. I tend to […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?Sometimes when you take the fielding coach a little too literal, this is what happens. Miguel Cabrera came face to face with his fielding fears and a baseball and the baseball won. A sharp grounder shattered his sunglasses, leaving his right eye a bloody mess. The good news for Miggy, the doctor prescribed a 15 […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?