The A’s traded Josh Donaldson for Brett Lawrie, Kendall Graveman, Sean Nolin and Franklin Barreto.  I had this cheap friend who would go to the supermarket and buy things that were on sale.  Not because he wanted them, but because he was cheap and it was a good deal.  So, he’d come home with groceries of only things that were on sale and for dinner he’d end up having a box of couscous and a Tofutti Fudge Treat.  I’d say to him, “Do you even like this stuff you’re buying?”  He’d say, “No, but I do like the price.”  This is what happened to Billy Beane.  He doesn’t like Lawrie, but four players for one?  What a deal!  There’s one other explanation.  Everyone is constantly telling Beane he’s brilliant.  He’s so gee-dee brilliant (and handsome!), they cast Brad Pitt to play him.  His detractors are nil.  So, he thinks he can do no wrong and then does a trade like Friday’s, where no one can check him.  If anyone else did this trade besides Beane, people would be saying he got Cosby’d.  Since it’s Beane, I’ve heard people say the trade is a bit ‘underwhelming.’  Underwhelming?!  The A’s traded away their best hitter, that is only 28 years old, for the Blue Jays worst hitter.  If someone did this trade in your fantasy league, you’d quit your league, come into the comments here and say, “I’m done with stupid people.”  The A’s five and six-hole hitters now?  Ike Davis and Brett Lawrie.  Well, lucky they still have Andy Parrino.  Andy Parrino will be played by Joe Jonas in the Moneyball sequel.  “Coach, it’s Christmas, why are you at my house?  Okay, I’ll play for your A’s, but first let me sing a charity concert in Denver.”  From a fantasy prospective, nothing really ever was gonna hurt Donaldson, besides maybe a move to Petco, and nothing really was going to help Lawrie, besides Coors.  The Blue Jays lineup looks stacked now, but to that I say the Rangers looked stacked going into last year too.  Edwin and Bautista aren’t the models of good health, Donaldson, though, has been.  The last two years he’s played 158 games, and has hit 24 homers and .301, then 29 homers and .255, while chipping in 5 and 8 steals, respectively.  He’s in the prime of his career, as previously mentioned, about to be in a better lineup and in a much better park for home runs, if not offense, in general.  Game, set, tennis term!  I don’t see him hitting for a great average again, like in 2013, but 27 homers and great counting stats without killing you in average seems not only doable, but likely.  For 2015, I’ll give him the projections of 79/27/93/.259/7.  The only question in my mind is where he’s batting.  My guess is fifth (Reyes, Martin, Bautista, Edwin, Donaldson), assuming everyone is healthy.  Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves for 2015 fantasy baseball:

Brett Lawrie – When this post-post-post-post-post-POST-post-hype prospect comes to Oakland, will U.S. customs let Lawrie bring all his posts?  I went to check on TSA’s website, but to search the site, I had to remove my shoes and my feet got cold.  The A’s could get a breakout star in Lawrie; he did have 18 homers and 13 steals in only 69 games in Triple-A when he was merely 21 years old.  He’s still only 24, there’s time.  Can’t project what a player could do in the best case scenario though, so I’ll give him 54/14/62/.267/6.  Oh, and for those of you worried, Lawrie can play behind the plate too, so the A’s still have six catchers.

Ernesto Frieri – Signed by Rays.  Frieri could see some saves in Tampa at some point in 2015, and Rays fans could get some ulcers.  Time will tell on both of those, but right now Frieri, the Italian sports car that is made from recycled poop logs, is just a middle reliever.

Yasmany Tomas – Signed with the Diamondbacks.  Since time is circular and we can speak to different selves in different times, my suggestion to your eight-year-old self that is living his time in 1998, hoping to break into the big leagues (or roll cigars):  move to Cuba!  By this time in 2020, there will be more Cuban raftees playing in the major leagues than in Cuba.  The Cubs may just make their name singular and add an article at the end. The weird thing is every time I see a video of Cuba the only thing I see is someone patting their brow and fanning themselves with a Panama Jack hat.  If there was a league where you scored points by fanning yourself with a Panama Jack hat, the Cubans would already own that league. Maybe that’s why all Cuban hitters swing so wildly, they’re trying to simulate the wind current from the waving of a hat.  Go ahead, pfft all you want, but that’s about as solid as a theory as I’ve ever heard from someone who was popping pain killers.  I’m high, y’all!  Nothing about Yasmany Tomas is clear just like with most Cuban raftees.  Yasmany even has one more thing confusing, how do you spell his name?  I’ve seen it Yasmani and Yasmany.  To me, Yasmany is the bomb dot gov spelling.  As in, do you want to make mucho dollars in the U.S. of A.?  “Yes many.”  The pictures I’ve seen of him remind me more of Jose Abreu than other Cuban superstars.  Tomas looks like your stereotypical corner outfielder.  During the 2013 season in Cuba, he hit 15 homers, .289 and had 52 Ks in 324 plate appearances with a .364 OBP.  (Yas)Many people before me have speculated that Cuban ball is the same as Triple-A.  If a 24-year-old did that in Triple-A, there would be no questioning his potential.  Since he did it in Cuba, it adds a bit of risk.  The consensus has him below Abreu in power, but just about equal to him with speed.  I’ll add that Yasmany looks less than Abreu for average, too.  The scouts that want to get punched in the mouth by Scott Boras say Tomas could be the second coming of Dayan Viciedo.  Um, ouch.  I’d imagine he’ll be a tad better than that, and comparable to Yoenis Cespedes with a few less steals.  To go all non-Cuban on you, I’ve read he reminds some of Marlon Byrd.  For 2015, I’ll give Tomas the projections of 72/28/86/.271/4.  Obviously, there’s huge upside and downside from those numbers and I kinda want him on all my teams just so I don’t miss the newest Jose Abreu.

  1. Swfcdan says:
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    Like the sound of Tomas, might be a raftee I finally manage to own. But to project him for more homers than Donaldson who’s just moved into a hitters paradise compared to O’Co is nuttier than a squirrel in a snickers factory with diabetes.

    What you reckon is a good auction value for Tomas (OBP league) next year?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Swfcdan: Depends on how many teams

      • Swfcdan says:
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        @Grey: Just a 10 teamer.

  2. de nachos says:
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    Back when Dennis Miller was funny: “Hey folks, two of shit is SHIT. If they really wanna fuck you, they’ll give you three of these things.”

    sorry for working blue.

    Read that Chinese nationals can donate $500K to connect the PA Turnpike to I-95 in order to get permanent residency. You’re welcome Yankees/Cubs, I just solved Yoan Moncada’s immigration red-tape.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @de nachos: Ha! If you read that in a fortune cookie, I’d question its veracity.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Wow, that’s crazy… The US is up for sale, and China’s buying…

          • Mantis Toboggan MD says:
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            @Grey: isn’t it really easy to get U.S. citizenship anyway, this ain’t France? Plus we don’t really seem to actually kick anybody out. Our business owners love that near-slave labor, and they make the laws.

  3. Corey says:
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    Do we draft Castillo over Tomas, assuming both are starting OFs? Tomas would give us more power but I think Castillo could be a 5-tool guy, with a better AVG too.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Corey: I like Tomas better

  4. Ante GALIC says:
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    Grey!

    Gr8 stuff.

    1. Maybe JD can swap jock straps with Brett Lawrie and then JD can suck bark in TO while Lawrie kicks butt in Oaktown?

    2. I like Yes Many, Tomas!’s new nickname!

    Waitress: Would you like a third pork chop with your eight serving of mashed potatoes?
    Tomas: Yes, many! (‘Cause he didn’t complete his advanced English courses yet, he sounds like a fresh off the boat raftee.)

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Oh and the Mariners just signed Nelson Cruz to a 4 year contract…since you like that baseball stuff.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Sky: now he’ll play 85 games and be a bust. The rime of the ancient mariner so says it.

        • Sky

          Sky says:
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          Mariners are the guy in your fantasy draft who will draft Nelson Cruz in the top 50 this year.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            @Sky: Ha, they totally are…Oh, Mariners…

            • Sky

              Sky says:
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              I have deep sadness, Grey…

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Ha, and after my lost bet last year I understand it…

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Sky: so he is in the top 51?

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Who? Tomas?

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Sky: damn, Harper went crazy high. Depending on how the draft is going, I can see that. If everyone waits on pitching then I think he falls in the top 50. Did you catch Magoo’s fine work?

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  Pitching was moderate. This is clearly a feel out draft. No way Arrieta or Carrasco go after the 10th when real drafts come around.

                  I have not read Magoo’s fine work. I have too much of my own fine work to contend with. Heck, I didn’t even read Grey’s work today! Sorry Grey.

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    Hey!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Sup

                      Brett 'Edward Beerhands' Lawrie

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Is that Tehol?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I will neither confirm nor deny this insanely astute observation.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      The bill of the hat ironed straight up gave it away…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      And that come hither stare…

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Is that why I’m hither?

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      No, that’s why you’re com…I’m not gonna finish that sentence.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I thought at first that read “…you’re corn.” When did I start reading rn’s as m’s? I’m getting old!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Which brings up an important question: corn on the cob. Retweet for yes, favorite for no.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Oh, crap, I almost confused my rn’s for an m again… Whew…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      A trip to Nebraska would be an even bigger let down than what normal people experience.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Creamed corn tastes better though…

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      I am worried about where this conversation started, where it was mid-way and now where we’re at. Very worried.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I don’t know, I’m torn. Maybe that’s Tom.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Oh ern gee

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Now, I’m confused!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      See, now it’s your tum!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I do have heartbum.

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Are those the underwear Jockey is gonna sell from their MadBum collection on Valentines?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      We should have those in the Razzball store. Fantasy Baseball: Something To Do Between Masturbation Sessions t-shirt, and matching underwear. How could you not get laid wearing those?!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      By playing fantasy baseball, of course!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yeah, totes!

                  • Mantis Toboggan MD says:
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                    @Sky: what is is one supposed to do when that beer is empty? do you have to constantly cut that tape? this seems like it would take more dexterity than the whole idea of needing to tape a large beer to one’s hand is attempting to sub for in the first place.

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Oh, I see…You mean Cruz… That site is so hard to look at… After I look at that site, I need to look at a grayscale to readjust my eyes…

                • Sky

                  Sky says:
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                  @Grey: I watch I love Lucy re-runs just to recalibrate my visual color palette myself.

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
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                    You have to after looking at that site. That site!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      I’m blind!!!

                    • Sky

                      Sky says:
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                      Looks like a fine team and by that I mean I have shoved knives into my eyes so as never to see again.

              • Mantis Toboggan MD says:
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                @Sky: baez went that high among “experts”. that seems crazy.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Sky: I’ve been dying my armpit hair for years!

      • Sky

        Sky says:
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        Does it look like you’re harboring two troll dolls when you raise your arms?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Maybe the trolls on top of pencils? Yeah, it looks like I’m sharpening pencils in my armpits…

  5. gareth says:
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    Sad news. My kitty passed away a few days ago. She was a beloved member of the family. Losing a pet really sucks.

    • JeF With 17 FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF's says:
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      @gareth: Sorry to hear that…were his last words ME-OUT?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @gareth: Sorry to hear that… I can still remember where I was when I lost my dog, Lollipops, when I was only 5 years old. Of course, I’m only 12 now, but still.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      Sorry to hear that, Gareth; I completely understand the sentiment.

    • Swfcdan says:
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      @gareth: Yeah it does, though I found as mine got older they weren’t really wanting to do a whole lot anyway, at least with one of mine (the other suffered a damn asthma attack). Hope kitty had a good life, now only thing I recommend is get another! That really worked for me, recommend kittens as they are damn good fun and funny to be around.

  6. Mr. Han's Militant Vegans says:
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    Sorry to hear that, Gareth. We have a “rescue” dog who is a member of the family as well. While I wasn’t too happy when we unexpectedly received him, I can’t imagine not having him around. Again, sorry for your loss.

    As for this morning’s comedy, it never gets any better than when you combine soy jokes, articles, and women with blue pits.

  7. Fireball Feliz says:
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    First Monday back in the office after Turkey break and you have to remind me of 2014 Rangers offense. Kinda wishing the Rangers gave Yes Many $68 mill instead of Choo at $130 mill… happy Beane is a dumb dumb and traded Donaldson away though

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, Rangers likely wish they did that too…

  8. J-FOH says:
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    It’s Monde La Soul day

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Stakes is high!

    • MattTruss

      MattTruss223 says:
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      @J-FOH: Speaking of, you guys see they have a new song free for download up on their site right now for Black Friday/Cyber Monday shizz?

      http://www.wearedelasoul.com/

      It’s called “The People” and has Chuck D on it.

      • de nachos says:
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        @MattTruss223: nice. thanks for this.

        I am Maceo. I be blowin’ the soul out of this horn.

        • mauledbypandas says:
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          @de nachos: such a good song!

  9. FrankGrimes says:
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    he got Cosby’d hehe

    Are there more ads then ever around here or is it my iPad?

    btw Billy Beane can blow me!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Grimey! Don’t think there’s more ads than usual… Maybe my greed for some extra pennies has gotten out of control… Cougs wants fur coats!

      • FrankGrimes says:
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        @Grey:
        fur coats and diamonds, she think she a superstar

        maybe I should explore browsers other than safari

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Wink, wink, download an ad blocker…

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: Grimey is from SF and wants all these guys to blow him…cust kayin’

            • slew says:
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              @J-FOH: that’s classic!

  10. Lville Jim says:
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    When I saw Donaldson had been moved I fully expected Sanchez to be one of the a names heading to Oakland.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Would’ve made more sense…

  11. Pun says:
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    Glad your back Grey!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks, Pun!

  12. Wake Up says:
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    If Maddon was still in town, Frieri would be the best closer in baseball next year…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Easily

  13. Wake Up says:
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    Btw, Sky posted that pic in the FCL right after I drafted him…I immediately regretted it…

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      You drafted Tehol?

  14. Wake Up says:
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    Delta Farce is prolly Larry the Cable Guy’s best movie…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I liked Git R Dun And Then Some

  15. Wake Up says:
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    Sorry to hear about your kitty, grape juice.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I think your autocorrect messed up.

  16. Jim says:
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    2 offers for xander in a dynasty league I’m in…league is pitching heavy

    Xander for shields and yunel Escobar

    Xander swihart for r Montero e aybar j taillon r mondesi j pinto

    Thoughts

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Xander side of both

  17. bossmanjunior says:
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    Donaldson should see an increase (luck not included) in his batting average due to the reduction of foul ground. O.co is known to really supress a hitters babip due to all that massive foul ground, so all of those fly outs and pop ups turn into foul balls in Toronto, giving hitters more opportunities to get hits. Considering O.co is pretty nuetral in terms of home runs to left field, I could see a small increase in power as well as Toronto is more homer friendly.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, could be on BABIP… I don’t think we’re ever going to see another .300-plus year from him without some favorable luck…

      • Swfcdan says:
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        @Grey: Genuinely think he can hit 30+ bombs though. Look at the effects of Rogers on Edwin and Bats, Donaldson seems a very good target this year.

  18. steve b says:
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    yas many dollars ,Grey you are so damn funny without even trying .Some of your writers try so hard it comes out forced but your thoughts just flow so freely

  19. Swfcdan says:
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    Might have a chance of getting Baez or Correa (both still on prospect rosters) in a keeper league. I wouldn’t have to promote either until im ready to do so and they are producing.

    Are you still high on both? I figure struggles are common for a rook so you have to kinda expect that early on, the majority do after all. If the owner’s soured on Baez feel it might be a good buying opportunity. Everyone was saying he’s the next best thing since porn once he arrived after all.

    Or would you be scared of Baez plate discipline long term, in that case Correa the better target?

  20. gobiggreen says:
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    need to make a crazy early decision on keepers for 2015. I have to drop one of the following:
    DeGrom (#130 pick overall); Cobb (#124); Kolton Wong (#132); and Derek Holland (#230). What’s a player to do?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Holland

Comments are closed.