4.26 ERA in 107 2/3 IP his rookie year.  Who’s that, you ask with your super-cute, Joey Lauren Adams mousey voice.  That’s Clayton Kershaw’s numbers when he was first called up.  Like when you feed your dog, then hold his ass over the balcony, rookie pitchers are a crapshoot.  There’s no discernible rhyme or reason what any of them will do in their first year.  Trevor Bauer could’ve been great last year, but wasn’t.  Yet, Jacob deGrom is better than he was in the minors.  *shrugs*  Your guess = my guess.  In hindsight, we could pinpoint the reason for each pitcher’s performance.  Unfortch, we don’t have hindsight for next year.  Shucks, I know.  Maybe you should reach into your emoji grab bag and pull out an appropriate one.  If I had an Asian baby, I’d name it Emoji.  Guy or girl.  That would require me getting pregnant, and 6th grade health class tells me it’s not possible.  I ain’t got no ovaries, y’all!  This brings us to Andrew Heaney.  He should’ve been terrific last year, and *raspberries lips*.  Oh, man, I now have spittle on my keyboard from the raspberried lips.  Intern, bring me my spittle rag!  What should’ve been the great thing about Heaney is how he should’ve been safer than most pitchers due to his control — ya know, avoiding the big innings.  Then, last year, he has a 5.83 ERA in 29 1/3 IP with the Marlins.  The key there is how small a sample size it is — that’s what she said!  Huh?  We can’t learn anything from 29 1/3 IP.  Corey Kluber had a 4.14 ERA in his first 37 IP last year.  Putting too much significance on 29 1/3 IP is like when you dial a wrong number to a funeral parlor, then don’t leave your bed the rest of the day just in case that was an omen.  No omen, you’re just listening to Signs by Tesla one too many times.  Anyway, what can we expect of Andrew Heaney for 2015 fantasy baseball?

In Triple-A last year, Heaney had a 9.8 K/9 and a 2.5 BB/9.  If those numbers were to plop, plop over to the majors, he wouldn’t fizz, fizz.  Yes, our always-educational Intro Paragraph just said you can’t rely on anything from rookie pitchers.  Intro Paragraph, “I get the sense you’re mocking me.”  Well, I don’t think his numbers are going to translate directly.  Intro Paragraph, “Now I’m interested.”  Last year, in his 29 1/3 IP in the majors, he had a 6.1 K/9 and 2.2 BB/9.  Those Ks seem on the low side for what I’d expect, but they’re a lot closer to what I’d expect than his minor league rate that was near-10.  Heaney throws a 90 MPH fastball, slider and change.  A 90 MPH fastball doesn’t usually equate to a huge K guy without something else exceptional.  Well, his control is near-exceptional, so that’s good.  With three pitches that he can locate, including that 90 MPH fastball, he should be good for 7 to 7.5 K/9 and a 2.2 to 2.6 BB/9.  That’s 160 Ks and a manageable WHIP in 200 IP, which is really what this post is about — I buried the lede like I’m Alfred Hitchcock.  Heaney should have a rotation job all year and could throw 190-200 IP in 2015.  For deeper mixed leagues, a guy that can get 160 Ks, while delivering some upside, is definitely a gamble worth taking.  For 2015, I’ll give him the projections of 9-10/3.89/1.28/155.  By the by, with the way pitchers dominated this past year, I strongly considered just saying every pitcher would have a projected 2.89 ERA, then kicking back my feet and moving the tiny umbrella from the top of my blended beverage to behind my ear. Though that would be stupid like Ivan Putski.  See that, I seamlessly transitioned from Heaney to Heenan.

124 Comments
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Militant Vegans
Militant Vegans
7 years ago

Felix is an effing bad man!

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
7 years ago

From watching Bumgarner to talking about Heaney! Ok I won’t talk about Heaney at all.

Madbum was just historically good. 1st overall pick next year? Ha I keed, but still is he the no 2 pitcher in fantasy now? He is for me, how bout you. Machine.

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Age, awesomeness, still improving, utterly dominating postseason. The guy’s coming into his own.

I’d take him over everyone but Kershaw in a real life MLB team, I guess the K’s are the only thing holding him back from that spot in fantasy. Still easily in my top 5 for fantasy now.

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
Reply to  Swfcdan
7 years ago

@Swfcdan: Top 5 pitchers I mean obviously (im not that crazy).

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Thanks!!!

Waino scares me

Big Magoo
Big Magoo
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Waino, Bum, and Darvish for me…

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Big Magoo
7 years ago

@Big Magoo: scare you? what about Harvey’s return? can Kluber repeat that K rate, he showed signs throughout the minors. Is Cobb going to be that guy we thought he was going to be this year? would you touch rice with a ten foot pole?

Big Magoo
Big Magoo
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: Darvish was shut down in August with elbow inflammation and he’s scheduled to undergo a follow-up MRI next month. Not saying that I wouldn’t draft him, just not as the 3rd pitcher off the board.

Harvey’s a wait-and-see. His velocity should be close to what it was by opening day, but the control usually takes longer to come back off of TJS.

I don’t see any major red flags with Kluber, but 269 Ks will be tough to repeat. Still looks like a top 5-6 SP with 220 Ks and slight regression in the ratios.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Big Magoo
7 years ago

@Big Magoo: thats why I said a healthy Darvish, Harvey is a bull, he’ll be a wildcard. Kluber at 220 seems fair. 250 not so much

Militant Vegans
Militant Vegans
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: I hear there’s some good organic korean brown rice that comes without the outer shell.

Fluffy-licious… try it with the tempeh. Yumm!

***am I laying it on too thick?***

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Militant Vegans
7 years ago
Militant Vegans
Militant Vegans
Reply to  Militant Vegans
7 years ago

@Militant Vegans: JFOIdeas… I like it!

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: if he was healthy he is for me. Now if Max goes to the cubs? that gets interesting. It would be the national league (ya!)in a hitters park (boo!) that might not give him a lot of run support (double boo!)

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: Mad Max in Cubbieland could be a disaster with his homerproneness. With the wind blowing out in summer…no thanks.

Swfcdan
Swfcdan
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Big Magoo: @Grey: Why the heck would bum scare anyone? He’s a horse!

Big Magoo
Big Magoo
Reply to  Swfcdan
7 years ago

@Swfcdan: Agree with Grey. He just threw a ton of extra innings/pitches this postseason including around 70 pitches or so on short rest last night. It increases his injury risk for next season. His K-rate is a bit short of what’s ideal for a top 5 starting pitcher as well.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Swfcdan
7 years ago

@Swfcdan: Felix is number two, a healthy Darvish is 3, depends where Mad max goes, if ends up in the NL then that makes him my number 4, Sale, bum, then waino.

Wake Up
7 years ago

Um…Grey, I mean Madison, I mean Grey…great job on this…um, uh…*checking index cards*…um, you were so really very good…annnnnnnnnnnnd…uh, great I’m sweating now…sweating like a great big russian boar…I’m a sweaty little great big sweating pig…ummmmmm….so yeah, I’m really nervous…I’m a sweaty nervous russian sweathog…but, you…you were great…really very goodish great…and plus technology and stuff…poundsign classic…

J-FOH
J-FOH
7 years ago

You all need to jump on Party Down. Great call grey, it’s on HULU and Starz OnDemand. This is some offseason required viewing. You could say this is my call to arms. Must watch season 1.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I just started season two last night. Weber was awesome, so was Kevin Hart and his homie smoking weed and discussing souper crackers with Ron. We need to get more peeps in on this, i would love to make a reference or two next year and not have to worry about no one getting it. Where is Sky? has he seen this show?

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: for sure, she was great when she jumped into the conversation at the wedding reception on mushrooms. The blonde guys desperation to get a part is great stuff too. Damnnit, I”m going to double dip and rewatch season one.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: it was such a perfect train wreck you were waiting to see happen. do you remember her from Seinfeld? playing it straight. Loved her in best of show too

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: never would of thought you would be a big fan. I have seen her in legally blonde too and I can’t believe I just admitted that

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: agree with that, I wouldn’t want to draw a lot of I’m an American to yourself down there. I have tried them, didn’t like Blu, I liked the njoy, looks and feels like a real cigarette. they sell those at 7-11.

I think they have some flavor ones now. I had these “hooka” flavored ones that have a tie died thing going on. come in fruity flavors. They were pretty good. I got them at circle K. I’ll look to get the exact name correct

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I know you don’t like tobacco flavors. But hands down the NJOY are the best I’ve had.

If I find the flavored ones I’ll let you know.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: what day do you leave?

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I have to go to LA next week, but probably wont be on Monday.

Circle K has the best selection, I just looked at the Circle K locator and they are all south of the 10 or east of the 110 in the ghetto

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: also check out the tobacco stores too, some of them carry a lot of the disposable varieties. The vape store by my house has these really good cigar ones.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: bouncing ideas here

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: just take those pants you wore at the tour stop, you will not look like an american in those.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: take a straw fedora

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: got any scripts you need me to work on too. I’m a mother f**king ideas man, a problem solver….and a problem starter, but lets not talk about my comments section demeanor

Mike
7 years ago

Flashback to Eric Hosmer’s high school science test…

F -“Eric, how many times do I have to tell you that friction slows things down…see me after class”

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: he plays like he’s trying out for the Astro…glides.

Mike
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

haha, I can just see him covering the front of his jersey in KY going “this time it’ll work!”

J-FOH
J-FOH
7 years ago

He wasnt classy like blassy. BTW, Signs was a cover song originally done by the five man electrical band in the early 70’s. Now that the mediocrity series is over the comments can get back to focusing on what we are here for. Fantasy baseball, entertaining things we watch and listen to and pop culture of the past…Erin Gray in Six Pack? Buck Rogers? Silver Spoons? Hot, am I right?

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: top five childhood hottie.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: every time she did a cameo in a show we got a little too happy. In Magnus pi or fantasy island…gggrrrrrrr

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I’m googling right now….now I know why I was always a sucker for dark hair and blue eyes (any light eyes is good) It’s my Erin Gray thing.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I couldn’t do it. OTS did a Cheryl Tiegs drop in the piece we’re working on. OH yeah!. and don’t get me started on Linda Carter. I’ve seen a few wonder woman’s…or is it wonder women? any the hoo. in costume for halloween. Total flashback costume. It’s like my acid trip residue

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I hear he’s sexy…not that there is anything wrong with that

Lville Jim
Lville Jim
7 years ago

The Polish Hammer, nice WWF reference. Heenan was good as a manager. Liked his work with King Kong Bundy, but he was equally good if not better as a color commentator.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Lville Jim
7 years ago

@Lville Jim: she ever bring up bruno samartino or verne gagne?

Nimrod
Nimrod
7 years ago

I was rooting for the mid-west team Royals, but Madbum carried my fantasy team all year. So the 2014 season is over and I’m hyped for the 1st 2015 fantasy draft.

I thought that was Bobby Heenan of big time wrestling. Just for fun my grandma used to root for Leaping Larry Chain or (Shain). That would have been back in the 60’s.

Ante GALIC
Ante GALIC
7 years ago

Grey!

Btw, congrats to SF, all Giants fans (regardless their sexual orientation or gender).

1. Fantastic DP turned started by Panik!!!

2. Dan “Who?” Struggla has just paid a four-year lease for a three-bedroom home in Fresno.

Cheers,
Ante

Cheffe
Cheffe
7 years ago

No words on one of the greatest individual post-season performances in history??? really?

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Cheffe
7 years ago

@Cheffe: meh. it was against the Royals.

Militant Vegans
Militant Vegans
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: I think Grey’s title kinda implied what the article was going to be about. With that said, it was impressive. No matter how you slice it and like my ole friend used to say before our basketball games, “Everyone shoots like (Jerry) West before they turn the clock on!”

BTW, the comedy was banking off this article like a pinball. I’m still getting jokes 10 minutes after reading it. HA! ***I’m a little slow too***

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Militant Vegans
7 years ago

@Militant Vegans: I can’t tell if your talking to me or the guy who wants this fantasy site to be a real sports column. And I have no idea how that analogy is relevant.

Militant Vegans
Militant Vegans
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: Oh, sorry for the confusion. Like I said, I’m slow.

I guess I was talking to everyone. First sentence goes to the original poster. Second one goes to your performance comment re: being against the Royals. I think I was trying to make a point that no performance is easy… especially during a game… against any opponent. I’ve been guilty of short-changing performances like “how could he miss that put? I make it all the time at the range!” That’s all. Maybe I need more tempeh to fuel some cognitive thought.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Militant Vegans
7 years ago

@Militant Vegans: LoCain in three hole isn’t somethingbro be feared. There was no Trout nor Pujols, Jones, miggy VMart or kinsler, hell even a JD Martinez or Steve Pearce type. They had one bat that could hurt you at anytime and we nicknamed him mostsuckass. Who is about as streaky as they come. We confuse a hot streak with someone being a good offensive team way too often.

Militant Vegans
Militant Vegans
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: Sorry, but we’re talking about 2 different things. I’m not disputing your evaluation of who’s he’s pitching against… there’s no disagreement. But doing what he did is hard & not everyone can do it, not even at the major league level. Dismissing it as something “meh” doesn’t pay the performance aspect of what he did its proper due.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Militant Vegans
7 years ago

@Militant Vegans: My point was, in an era when offensive is in the gutter, I wouldn’t be handing out all time great to any pitcher. He’s a good pitcher without a doubt, but labeling him like that is a little ridiculous and taking things as some kinda of modernist…is that even a word? Regardless, it should be seen for what it is and not be like the idiots on TV who try to always make a bigger deal out of things than what they really are. It’s not just baseball that does this. They take terms like ‘one of the greatest plays” or “one of the greatest performances” or historic and hand it out like candy for Halloween. Football is the same way as is Basketball. When in those sports so many changes to the rules have given the modern players an edge that the past didn’t have. And then the commentators try to compare them. It’s ridiculous. The hand check rule in the NBA has taken away the physical game it once was and given players a free pass to easier looks that they never would have got in the past. Hakeem the Dream would average 50/25 in todays NBA. Watch a game and listen to all the ridiculous things the color commentators say. They have this need to fill space and in doing so utter crap filled balls of ignorance. Then listeners take this “experts” words and quote it like truth. It’s sad.

Militant Vegans
Militant Vegans
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: I agree with most of what you’re saying. Maybe I’m just parsing terms like “greatest ever” with “great performance”. If that’s led to any confusion, I apologize. For the record, I think it was a great performance, but I don’t think it was the greatest ever. Truth be told, I’d take Kershaw over Bumgarner. But the games Bumgarner threw were pretty solid.

Good discussion and thanks for the perspective.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Militant Vegans
7 years ago

@Militant Vegans: no need to apologize, this is off season yo’s, we can get into discussions. Short term memory loss is something that resonates in this country. I hear that when we vote we have to choose between the lessor of two evils and then the same people complain about the most insignificant things in politics. They just admitted they are all evil then act shocked when they do something only in the interest of the rich. Last night Grey was commenting on the stupid things harold reynolds says, but that is all these color commentators. It’s like that movie idiocracy, keep us dumb as possible.

Militant Vegans
Militant Vegans
Reply to  Militant Vegans
7 years ago

@Militant Vegans: JFOH, I know this is out of order but you had no reply icon. I should probably take that as a subtle hint , so I will with this:

Harold Reynolds… don’t get me started.

Idiocracy… precursor of what’s in store for us, kinda like ‘Network’ was for what’s on TV today.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Militant Vegans
7 years ago

@Militant Vegans: after so many responses it goes away. kinda weird…right?

Great call on network. *starts slow clap*

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: and the cubs, twins and Padres back in the day. this season has pushed me over the edge of the real thing. Like ive said before im over it. Time Warner killed it to start plus catcher rule and instant replay. Blah! You do know I watch about 40-50 innings a year. And its been that way for a few years now. The Birdman can vouch for me criticizing everything about baseball. Not just the Giants. Dont get me started about the Nationals and Rockies.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Kirby was one of the best to watch. It is ridiculous, I say go with humans or go with computers, but mixing the too is like going to a bad fusion restaurant. “That Borscht Pozole was disgusting, thats the last time I try Russian/Mexican fusion”

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: I don’t know how brave it is when an owner has dictated the changes of the game that has increased revenue tenfold since he started. I think the instant replay distracts from the bad product on the field. Lets be honest with ourselves. Give em back all their roids and re-open a new record book that begins in 1995. You are here to entertain me now go out and dance, cause this pitching ballett is a snooze fest

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: this doesn’t look like the game I grew up with. They had good leadoff hitters and you could throw at a hitter and not have to have a press conference to explain yourself.

Yeah the 35 homers years. Playing through injury, I never heard the term oblique back then. But was pitching this ridiculous then? I have to wonder how the lure of the NFL and college football has taken away from guys that would of played baseball? Back then they all played two or three sports in high school and didn’t have to make a decision in the 6th grade which way they were going.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: its big business, same for basketball. I have read and watched a lot of stuff on that. All the american black players of the past are going basketball, because AAU teams control their lives from like grade school on. They choose high schools like colleges these days. Then if they don’t make it to the league because they can’t cut it in the NBA, they can always play abroad and still have a career. My neighbor growing up played in the NBA for like 5 years, and then went to play in Spain and Germany for a while and was league MVP of the German league.

Minor league baseball on the other hand leaves guys making 4 bucks an hour and sleeping on air mattresses. So sad.

Giancarlo was a three sport star in high school and got offered football scholarships. Thats how he fell under so many teams radar. he would miss the start of baseball every year because of basketball and when he did get going the scouts were already done. You had to be there at the end of the year to see his awesomeness. I read a piece on that a few months back.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: think about this, we could of never of had Giancarlo if he had gone to play TE in college.

People have pumped money into bringing inner city baseball back. Not only the loss of black players but also we aren’t developing a lot of the latino players living in the US. When they do come out they are usually suburban or rural players. What was once a pipeline is now gone.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: actually the AAU leagues, which is basically travel basketball, has filled so many of these kids with BS. They have their hands in so much of these kids life. From what high school to go to and what college to go to. The era of the three sport star is dead because by age 7 or 8 parents are pushing their kids into one sport to focus on making it to college with a scholarship. The world of softball I have been exposed to is downright depressing, you dont even have to be good anymore. All you need is a delusional parent willing to fork out thousands every year so little katie can be a big star. Or at least feel like one.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: thats if katie plays basketball.

Birdmann
Birdmann
Reply to  J-FOH
7 years ago

@J-FOH: Damn I just read our conversation last night. Scrolling down to read more after I type this. It was a great performance, even against the Royals. When you discuss greatest ever we can all disagree because we bring our own perspective/experiences to any discussion that is what make talking about sports fun.

J-FOH
J-FOH
Reply to  Birdmann
7 years ago

@Birdmann: tell me that same thing after spending an hour with a group of Giants fans. “Yo, Rich Aurilia, is like the best hitting middle infielder ever”

take your rose colored glasses off every once in a while

Birdmann
Birdmann
Reply to  Grey
7 years ago

@Grey: Saved or changed the game pick one they are both correct.

Ante GALIC
Ante GALIC
7 years ago

Grey!!!

From Heaney to Heenan? How about from Heaney to Heenan to Keenan (former megalomaniac coach of the Philadelphia Flyers, Chicago Blackhawks, New York Rangers, St. Louis Blues, Vancouver Canucks, Boston Bruins, Florida Panthers and finally flaming out with the Calgary Flames before going on to Russia with Metallurg Magnitogorsk which is the western most town in Siberia which has a lot of gas.). A total Knucklehead from Bowmanville, Canada.

1. Heaney looks to be a really good potential sleeper. The number of good quality sleeper pitcher picks (i.e., pitchers who will have ADP of 250+) seems to be growing daily. ;-)!

2. Good thing you didn’t bury the lede like you were J. Alfred Prufrock. There would be at least twelve poems involved in that lede.

Cheers,
Ante