You know what would be really cool?  If you could join a free fantasy baseball league that was against, like, 600 other fantasy baseball teams.  But not a 600-person league, where people are trying to figure out who the back-up third baseman is on the Single-A Astros affiliate, Corpus Christi Amscrayers.  No, this is a 12-person league designed so you compete against eleven other people in your league, then 60 other leagues of twelve.  That would be cool.  Oh, wait, we’ve done that.  It’s called the Razzball Commenter Leagues, and they’re back, and you don’t even have to be a commenter to join it!  For a limited time only, get your loved one a fantasy baseball league!  That’s right, your hearts go pitter-patter or you’re dead on the inside (my condolences).  Since back in June when you abandoned your fantasy baseball team because it was totally sucking and you returned to your cubbyhole of leftover Chinese food and Teddy Grahams, you’ve longed for this day.  As Bob Marley sang, this is your redemption song, mon.  Or womon, for our four girl readers.  It’s time again to join some fantasy baseball leagues.  Before you close all of your extraneous porn windows and rush to sign up, let’s explain how these fantasy baseball leagues are going to work.  We’re going to have a bunch of leagues and crown a winner from each, then we’re going to crown ONE winner from all of the winners.   We will be crowning the winner by taking each team’s points and multiplying it against a ‘league competitiveness factor.’  If you want to see how it worked last year, go here.  So we’re going to fill up as many fantasy leagues as we can for the next seven weeks.  Each fantasy baseball league will be a mixed league, 12 team, snake draft, roto, 5×5, 5 OFs, one Middle Infielder, one Corner Infielder, one Utility, 9 pitchers, 20 game eligibility, 180 Games Started max, 1000 IP minimum.  Unlike previous years, we will be going with TWO DL SLOTS.  The only things you need to change from the default is the 180 Games Started and the TWO DL SLOTS.  Please be vigilant about having the exact same league rules and setup as everyone else.  The lineup is also known as:  C/1B/2B/SS/3B/CI/MI/5 OF/UTIL/9 P/3 BENCH/2 DL with 180 Games Started and 1000 IP minimum.  The fantasy leagues will be played in ESPN and they will be free to join.

We’re going to start with twenty-five leagues of 12 and see how we do from there.  To join a league… Sorry, again for the people in the back of the room:

TO JOIN A LEAGUE
Click the LINK in the ‘League Link’ column (see below grid) and enter the PASSWORD at ESPN.  Emails are there for some leagues, but you shouldn’t need to email anyone.

TO START A LEAGUE
Please create a league in ESPN based on the league rules reference above.  Step by step:  Hit Create.  Then Create ESPN Custom (middle option), Name League, Change to 12 Teams, Restriction Type: None, Open to All Users, Access: change to Private, create Password, leave as Roto and Snake, Make Draft Date and Time, Create.  From Default settings all you have to do is change to TWO DL SLOTS and 180 Starts by pitchers.  So, you go to ROSTERS and Click “Edit Roster Settings.”  There, change to 2 DL Slots and 180 Starts (the counter will change to 20.0 per slot).  Then SUBMIT Roster Settings.  Finally, Create Your League!  (Important Note: Make sure league is viewable to public but requiring a password to avoid non-Razzballers joining.)   When that’s finished, click here. You will be permissioned shortly so you can add your league info to the Google Doc (the below grid cannot be edited from this page).  On that Google Doc, you will need to enter your name, league link, password and please UPDATE the number of openings as your league fills up.   That’s it.  Oh, and don’t use your bank account password.

THE BIG PRIZE

I know, you can hardly wait.  This year’s winner will receive a walk-on part in the next Scorsese movie.  That’s if the winner happens to be Robert De Niro.  If the winner is not Robert De Niro, then the winner will receive a brand new hoodie.  Not just any hoodie, but one that tells the world, “I only care about fantasy sports.  No, I don’t even care about deodorant.”  A hoodie so spectacular it forced me to look up the proper spelling of spectacular just so I could describe it.  A hoodie that makes men want to be your friend and women want to sleep with you.  Or vice versa if you’re one of our four female readers.  This hoodie is one-of-a-kind (except for the same hoodie we’ve given away to our football and basketball league winners).  A hoodie that Snoop Dogg would be proud to rock.  And that man has forgotten more about hoodies than you’ll ever know!  Wear it to weddings, funerals or into the shower and tell people you are the 2014 Razzball Commenter League Champion.  Okay, now sign up…

2020 Draft Kit
 
  1. Eddy says:
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    Sadly this’ll be the first time I don’t do an RCL, but for those thinking of going for it, do it! Hands down one of the toughest leagues you’ll play in, which in turn makes it one of the most rewarding to win. It’s always interesting to see how drafts turn out when everyone is drawing from the same pool of information.

    That said, I have three spots in a 12-team roto auction $20 buy in in Yahoo. This is the last time I’m posting this (I hate hijacking razzball threads). Eddy5791[at]yahoo.com is the email if you’re interested

    All other RCL’ers, best of luck.

    Oh, and, give VinWins a preemptive thank you for all the work he’s about to put in :)

    • mauledbypandas says:
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      @Eddy: I think Vin is actually taking a break this year, very sad if this is still the case

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Eddy: Thank me. This guy. Not just because of the RCL’s. But because I’m just so damn handsome.

      • Eddy says:
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        @Jay: you sexy devil, you.

        Sad to hear Vin’s not doing his excellent work this time.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Eddy: he’s lucky. Probably sipping on umbrella drinks as we type…

          • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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            @Jay: are you everybody’s attractive cousin, Jay

    • Mike says:
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      @Eddy:

      I can’t add my info either. Help?

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        You need to click Share in top right and wait to be permissioned…

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        That’s top right of spreadsheet on Google… Click link in the post…

    • Schlurricane

      Schlurricane says:
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      @Eddy: I think you have to switch from 10 team league to 12 team league

  2. matt says:
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    I created a league and followed the link that you provided but I cannot figure out how to add it on Google Docs?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @matt: Matt, go ahead and try it now.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @matt: Did it work?

      • matt says:
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        I’ll let you know within the hr guys..still at work right now

      • matt says:
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        @Grey: Ok I got it up there now. Thanks I had to sign up for a couple champions leagues this morning so I went ahead and created an RCL . Good Luck This year everyone

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Awesome, thanks!

          • matt says:
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            @Grey: hey im already in 1st place haha

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Well played!

  3. HWY68 says:
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    I wanna rock that hoodie in Vegas, Hunter S. Thompson style. Just roll up to a hotel & hang it from my balcony, a sort of deranged Razzball bat signal. Everyone would show up: Grey, his Cougar, all us crazies & randomly like Benito Santiago. Party for days. If walls could talk…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @HWY68: Despite your racial handicap?

      • HWY68 says:
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        @Jay:

        Freaking Raoul Duke. Classic.

        Every day at Razzball is our own Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas. There’s gurus, cougars, drinks & more. Cue the 60s music.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: Blackie, it’s Brownie.

  4. Mike says:
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    Hey Grey –

    Play in a NL only H2H Weekly Scoring Points League
    Scoring for Batting – TB, Avg (24pts if hit 576-600 for week, 22pts – 551-575, etc.) Runs, RBI, SB (2pts), CS (-1), BB
    Scoring for Pitching – Wins (10pts), Losses (-3), QS (4pts), K’s, ERA (.000-.499 – 24pts, .500-.999 – 22pts, etc.), Saves (8pts), Shutouts (8pts), Holds (3pts)

    Would you trade my Rosenthal @ $13 for this year & up to $23 for 3 years after that For any 2 of the following: Brown @ $14 for 3 years, Belt @ $12 for 2 years, Yelich @ $11 for 3 years?

    Thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mike: Yelich

      • Maestro says:
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        Thanks Grey. The other owner is willing to give me a second player, would you go Brown or Belt + Yelich? Brown is actually $4 this year but I can sign him for 2 years @ $9 each, or 3 years at $14 each year.

        @Grey:

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Belt + Yelich

  5. Count de Monetball says:
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    Long time listener/commenter, first time RCL player. Grey, I am playing in a RCL league this year! Yay! Anyway, I have typically played in Yahoo! 5×5 10-team rotisserie leagues with only 3OF, no MI, and No CI position. Further, the pitching is different than what I am used to as I have typically played in 1250 inning cap leagues with the same stat categories as RCL. In my years of fantasy sports experience, I have noted drastic strategy differences based on various rule types. Based on what type of league I have typically played in, do you have any notes of strategy differences with pitching and the extra offensive slots. If you have previously written something up about this, a link to that article would be great. Thanks for any insight you can offer. To the commentors in my league, just ignore this post and any response by Grey :) I am asking for a friend, yeah a friend…..

    • Kid A says:
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      @Count de Monetball:
      Dear Count,

      You lost the day you joined. There will be no salvation.

      Sincerely,

      Anonymous

      • Count de Monetball says:
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        @Kid A: HaHa, don’t Count out the new Kid on the block!

    • OaktownSteve says:
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      @Count de Monetball:

      Waaaaa….I need strategy tips…waaaaa. See KidA’s comment above and add “in spades”

      Bwhahahahaha

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Count de Monetball: Sorry, had to go to the bathroom… So, what’s going on? You want more strategy than the thousands of posts? Hmm…

  6. Justin Cook says:
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    How do Myers and Hosmer stack up as keepers? Currently sitting on Harper and McCutch and was offered Hosmer for Myers and a mid rd pick…

    • James says:
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      @Justin Cook:

      not sure if you want to keep 3 OF (unless it is at least a 5 OF league).

      Hosmer- He looks like Joey votto. Then again, he is young and the power is not there yet. IF everything breaks right he is a .300-320 hitter with 30 home run power, and low double digit speed. IF things do not break right he is what he is, a .290/20h/10steals type player. All of that from a thinning 1b. He was also a blue chip prospect coming up, so there is definately the raw skills to be elite.

      Myers- He got a lot of hype last year as a really high floor guy, but does not have any speed. The solid BA is real (i think .270-290 range, where he helps but not much), but the power is real. THis kid will hit 30-40 a year. REalisitically I see Jay Bruce here. The floor really is Jay Bruce, but there is a possibility of more.

      So would you do Votto for Bruce and a pick?

  7. Mike Adamson says:
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    mmm…teddy grahams.

  8. Ra'zball Al Ghul says:
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    yipeee!!!

  9. Peter says:
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    I will probably easy meat in in one of these leagues because I don’t see anywhere to enter a password to join the league once I click on the link. Can somebody throw me a bone?

    Thanks,

    PFGriff

  10. Justin Cook says:
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    Do we have a target date for the Excel War Room? Best kept secret on the internet…

    • Cheese says:
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      @Justin Cook: Based on other comments I’ve read on previous posts, tomorrow is the ETA

  11. MattH says:
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    Awesome. Thanks Grey and Razzball.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @MattH: No problem

  12. MarcH says:
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    pumped!

  13. Shawn of the livid says:
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    And here is am only having experience with H2H leagues……………

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      @Shawn of the livid: i have tons of those, as i respond to the wizard Here is Am.

  14. Bed Devils says:
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    This will be my first year playing in the RCL. its kind of intimidating because so many knowledgeable people. But I will study the rankings and pairings hard and make a dedicated effort to win throughout the whole season. ESPN would not let me put in “Pink Torpedoes” as my team name stating that I need to pick something that is not offensive. HA!

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Grey: damn PC (greasy) thugs.

  15. Joebob says:
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    Any NL only leagues in the RCL?

  16. Joebob says:
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    Oh gosh never mind. Rereading is a strategy.

      • matt says:
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        @Grey: they let me use hisashi slurp slurp (sorry had to steal that one)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Nice

  17. Shake N Bacon says:
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    I missed JFOH’s frequent commenter league :,(

    • Shake N Bacon says:
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      I got in the second JFOH league. Crisis averted!

  18. mauledbypandas says:
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    The best day of the year! And now the wait begins

    • mauledbypandas says:
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      @mauledbypandas: I say this after I just walked to work in 20 degree temperature through all the snow and ice.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @mauledbypandas: I could agree with that, the previous 41 days have been uneventful

  19. OaktownSteve says:
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    I have a whole bunch of new tricks up my sleeve this year. Surprise attack…when you least expect it, expect it.

    Phase one is now completed. I’ve embedded myself into a league full of mouth-breathers and typing monkeys. Easy pickin’s.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @OaktownSteve: You were invited to the writers league?

      • OaktownSteve says:
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        @Jay:

        I said typing monkeys, not cadavers who were none-too-bright in life anyway.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @OaktownSteve: I have great street smarts…. it’s this computa-doo-hickey and that over rated Englash language you all fawn over that gets me every time

          • OaktownSteve says:
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            @J-FOH:

            Street smarts:

            *checks non-existent watch*

            “Hurry…they’ll be dumping the rotting fruit in the dumpster behind the Santa Monica Safeway in 10 minutes.”

            • J-FOH says:
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              @OaktownSteve: that fruit makes the best pruno. Ghetto Credentials ain’t easy doggy

              • OaktownSteve says:
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                @J-FOH:

                “If this shit doesn’t make us go blind we’ll be sittin’ pretty and if it does we can sell pencils. Win-win, bro.”

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @OaktownSteve: sellin pencils? we’ll be tricking these foos into giving us money so we can have our pistos every night

                • Wake Up says:
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                  @OaktownSteve: Is that Ray Charles?

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Wake Up: no Raymund Chuck

    • Wake Up says:
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      @OaktownSteve: Any room left in that one? I just dipped my toe in a lagoon full of rapid hyenas ready to take Arroyo as their first starting pitcher…

      Water is rising quickly down here in Key West…and Madams is quickly becoming less buoyant…

      PS the splayed goat has been attached to the coconut tree as you requested…

      • OaktownSteve says:
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        @Wake Up:

        FBB is a story of to have and have not. Cinematically speaking this references the first non-Steve Steve, from whence I sprung.

        You can’t compete with a non-Steve Steve who nods to Papa in the Keys. It’s like chasing a ghost of a specter.

        Everybody clear?

        Speaking of specters, methinks I spotted the ghost of TMoore rebranded in comments recently. That’s a fine bit of web art, intentional or no.

        • Big Magoo

          Big Magoo says:
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          @OaktownSteve: I always thought that the rebranding of TMoore would be something like “To Stalk A MockingJay.” He always was strangely poetic.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Big Magoo: and well read too

          • Wake Up says:
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            @Big Magoo: well prayed…

        • Wake Up says:
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          @OaktownSteve: Know won has time for knoding at times like these…

          We’re unto a school of squareg rouper…too guys, one hook…and I’m nearly out of Sage vodka…and wisdom…

          • Big Magoo

            Big Magoo says:
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            @Wake Up: Just make sure to have some Popov vodka at the ready come draft time. That way, when a bj seems like a good idea in the third round, only your esophagus will be stinging when Bossman Jr. appears in your fake outfield.

  20. Jon says:
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    12-teamer, slow draft coming back to me (I picked 10th). My first 5 picks were Cano, Fielder, Segura, Bautista, Gordon…

    Thinking about Felix, Zimmerman, Rizzo, Beltran or Heyward next. Thoughts? If King Felix is on the board at 63, that’s pretty tempting…

    • Jon says:
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      Bee tee dub, that’s Ryan Zimmerman on the board still, so he has fallen, too…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jon: See my rankings

  21. Peter says:
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    Figured it out …

  22. Ziggy says:
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    Which player would you keep?

    Heyward or Kinsler

  23. TysonFrozenChicken says:
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    Any idea when the War Room 2014 download might be available?

  24. Cheese says:
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    Razzball newsletter… what’s included in this? Just the daily posts to the site?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Cheese: Not sure yet, prolly posts

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: and writer selfies?…at least that’s what Sky told me, he keeps asking for new ones for the newsletter

        • Shake N Bacon says:
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          @J-FOH: Let me guess, he’s also saying that pants are optional for these selfies Jack?

            • Shake N Bacon says:
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              @J-FOH: People that don’t wear any undies, I suppose.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha

  25. Robby D says:
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    Life is good with ESPN open finally and my keeper league reactivated by the Commish (who ironically happens to be Michael Chiklis)

    It’s a H2H 10 team 6 keeper league 7×7 with QS, Losses and OBP, XBH as the extra stats.

    I’ve posted a lot about it, but I got the potential to upgrade via trade big time:

    Got a friend who is interested in Zobrist as one of his six keepers, and he’s currently not keeping Hamilton, Hosmer or Cargomez (his team is pretty stacked with Trout and some others)

    I’m currently keeping Cargo (rockies), Tulo, Stanton, Craig, Cespedes, Bruce. If I can swing a trade for Zobrist, which would you pick from the list:

    Hosmer
    Hamilton
    Cargomez

    I like Hosmer or Cargo, but I already have 4 OF, although whoever I get here is going to replace one of them (probably Cespedes)

    Thanks for the info.

    • Robby D says:
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      @Robby D: Also, he has already made it clear that he would need some draft pick compensation for Cargo, but would do Hosmer straight up probably.

  26. Grey

    Grey says:
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    *******NEED MORE COMMISSIONERS; MAKE LEAGUES**********

    • matt says:
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      @Grey: I’ll make ONE MORE! That’s it Rebecca I promise. You want a divorce! You think this fantasy BB is a mfing game? ( Typical March conversation with wives) Haha