Fantasy Baseball Advice

It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started.  You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Tulo!” and now you don’t have baseball or your girlfriend.  C’mon, calender, make like a soldier and turn to March.  The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos.  First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2010.   It’s important to look back before we look ahead to 2011.  To paraphrase the one and only B-Real, “How do you know where you’re at, if you don’t know where you’ve been?  Understand where I’m coming from?”  It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to ESPN’s Player Rater.  It may not be wholly accurate, but it’s wholly unbiased.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2010 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:

1. Joe Mauer – I predicted the homers would come down.  Literally.  Only I didn’t think they’d fall as far as they did.  It was the Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome factor that I just couldn’t fully know back in January.  Mauer ended up number one and I’d contend he was still overrated and will be so again next March.  Certain guys just get a pass from the fantasy community because they seem likable or have can’t-put-your-finger-on-it-ness. Preseason Rank #1, 2010 Projections:  100/20/85/.330/3, Final Numbers:  88/9/75/.327/1

2. Victor Martinez – V-Mart’s age still hasn’t caught up with him (sorta pun!), but I think, in retrospect, we’re going to look back at this season as the beginning of the end for him.  Preseason Rank #3, 2010 Projections:  85/25/110/.300, Final Numbers:  64/20/79/.302/1

3. Buster Posey – I ranked him 16th in the preseason and here he is 3rd.  The scary thing is, besides the average, I was pretty right on with his projections.  That means it was another yawnstipating year from catchers.  Preseason Rank #16, 2010 Projections:  55/14/65/.290/3, Final Numbers:  58/18/67/.305

4. Brian McCann – I love McCann, there I said it.  He gives you what I want from a catcher.  Good homers, decent RBIs and doesn’t hurt you elsewhere.  Much prefer that to Mauer’s MI-type catcher output.  Preseason Rank #2, 2010 Projections:  80/28/105/.295/3, Final Numbers:  63/21/77/.269/5

5. John Buck – This was the most bang from your Buck since Midnight Cowboy.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  53/20/66/.281

6. Mike Napoli – I Ron Popeil’d him in a few leagues and I’m glad I did.  Even it wasn’t for the Sciosciapath, he probably would’ve hit 30+ homers. Sure, the average wasn’t great, but, as I’ve said many times, since there’s fewer ABs from catchers, you’re fine with a guy like Napoli.  Preseason Rank #6, 2010 Projections:  60/19/70/.260/5, Final Numbers:  60/26/68/.238/4

7. Miguel Olivo – Well, I ranked Iannetta around here in the preseason and I told you to grab Olivo in April so I wasn’t completely Mr. Bungle on Olivo, but, considering his post-All-Star break numbers were egregious, I’d say his high ranking here is more about the state of catchers.  They’re really bad, ya’ll.  Preseason Unranked, 2010 Projections:  30/16/45/.245, Final Numbers:  55/14/58/.269/7

8. Geovany Soto – Member when I told everyone to draft him?  Good times.  Or, more appropriately, okay times.  For a catcher, not bad times.  Here’s what I said at the Geovany Soto sleeper post last January, “Soto’s 2009 was off the charts unlucky.  His BABIP went from .337 in 2008 to .251 last year.  I.e. His average should come up to .270 levels.  His power was zapped because of a shoulder injury.  When he started to get healthy in June, he hit 6 homers that month.  Then an oblique injury sidelined him.  Bad luck followed by terrible luck.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Preseason Rank #7, 2010 Projections:  65/18/80/.280, Final Numbers:  47/17/53/.280

9. Carlos Ruiz – Honestly, if you jumped out of DeLorean and told me in the preseason Ruiz would be ranked this high and told me his final stats, I still wouldn’t have drafted him.  8 homers and no steals?  Who are you, Willy Aybar?  Ruiz was unranked, but he made the preseason catchers to target post.  Preseason Unranked, 2010 Projections:  45/14/65/.260/3, Final Numbers:  43/8/53/.302

10. Jorge Posada – About two years ago, I jumped off the “Ever drafting Posada again” bandwagon and I’m never going back.  Too old, too tired, too effin’ blind.  Okay, maybe not the last one.  Preseason Rank #9, 2010 Projections:  50/17/75/.280, Final Numbers:  49/18/57/.248/3

11. A.J. Pierzynski – Looking back on these catchers makes me feel like Creighton on a New Orleans ferry.  A.J. was in the don’t draft tier along with Yadier and Suzuki and, looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing.  Preseason Rank #14, 2010 Projections:  55/12/65/.280, Final Numbers:  43/9/56/.270/3

12. Kurt Suzuki – I’d go as far to say Suzuki was actually better than A.J. because he was injured and you were getting stats from someone else while Suzuki was hurt, or, if you were really lucky, you just dropped him.  Preseason Rank #12, 2010 Projections: 65/12/65/.270/6, Final Numbers:  55/13/71/.242/3

13. Yadier Molina – His numbers are even more yawnstipating than Crapolanco.  Preseason Rank #13, 2010 Projections:  40/7/55/.285/5, Final Numbers:  34/6/62/.262/8

14. Ramon Hernandez – Do you see a theme here?  Catchers were so bad, a guy who didn’t even play in 100 games or crack 10 homers is ranked this high.  If you take nothing else away from this post, please punt catchers next year.  Please.  Preseason Rank #20, 2010 Projections:  55/17/65/.265, Final Numbers:  30/7/48/.297

15. John Jaso – I’ve been looking at Jaso as a potential sleeper for next year, but I just don’t think his power or speed upside is great enough.  He might be “The Old Russell Martin (Or Maybe That’s A Young Russell Martin)” at best.  You know, the Martin that actually had value.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  57/5/44/.263/4

16. Yorvit Torrealba – If you owned Torrealba for longer than two months, you didn’t win your league.  There’s just no way.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  31/7/37/.271/7

17. Ryan Doumit – Chew on this:  If Yuniesky Betancourt were a catcher, he’d be ranked in the top ten.  Preseason Rank #15, 2010 Projections: 50/16/60/.280/3, Final Numbers:  42/13/45/.251/1

18. Rod Barajas – Ladies and gentlemen, I bring to you your 2010 fantasy baseball catchers.  They are the new blech.  2010 Projections:  Please/Don’t/Draft/Him, Final Numbers:  Do/You/Really/Care?

19. Miguel Montero – I’d say Wieters was the much, much bigger bust than Montero simply because Montero was injured for an extended stretch so you had a chance to get someone else’s numbers from him.  But, don’t get me wrong, Montero was a rather supersized disappointment too.  Preseason Rank #5, 2010 Projections:  65/17/80/.280, Final Numbers:  36/9/43/.266

20. Matt Wieters – Finally, the Billy Butler-sized bust.  As I practice my Saberhagenmetrics, Wieters will be on quite a few teams of mine next year.  Sucks if you got caught in the crossfire of his down year, but one bad season at 24-years-old doesn’t take his future shine off.  The Orioles could surprise next year.  Yeah, I said it!  And kinda mean it.  Though they’ll still only land in third or fourth place.  Preseason Rank #4, 2010 Projections:  70/18/85/.305, Final Numbers:  37/11/55/.249

You know that slo-mo video of Homer Simpson taking a cannonball off his belly?  This looked more painful. When Carlos Santana, the future of the Indians franchise, went down in this collision, his knee said, “I wish I were Joe Theismann’s knee.”  To stay in the world of The Simpsons, you can see the exact moment when Cleveland’s heart breaks.  Carlos Santana’s collision was like The Decision, Part II.  Only more ghoulish.  I’d be shocked if Santana’s back this year.  Hopefully, he’ll be fine for next year.  On the bright side, Cleveland, you’re still not Detroit.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Shelley Duncan – 4-for-5, 1 Run, 2 RBIs.  Surprised there weren’t any other injuries reported from Shelley Duncan high fives.  He’s always so intense.  Here’s him taking questions after the game.

Adrian Beltre – 2-for-3, 2 homers and 5 RBIs.  Ever wonder how Stonehenge was built?  Beltre did it in a contract year.

Kevin Youkilis – Day-to-day with a jammed thumb.  My grandmother used to make a delicious thumb jam.  I miss you, Minky!

John Lackey – 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 14 baserunners, 7 Ks.  I dropped him about two starts ago.  He then went out and threw a shutout, then a quality start.  That gave someone confidence to pick him in my league and start him vs. the Indians.  Muahahahahahaha…

Trevor Cahill – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  His K:BB 73:41 in 125 2/3 IP isn’t good.  His xFIP is almost a run and a half worse than his ERA.  Yet, his 0.99 WHIP and 2.72 ERA make me wish he were beguiling me while I owned him.

Jeremy Hellickson – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  I don’t know what the line looks like to you, but I watched 95% of this start.  Looked dominating through three and worked around a cheap walk and hit in the fourth, remaining composed.  With ease, he was hitting 92 and 93 with his fastball and controlling his off-speed pitches well.  He was also sent down right after the game.  If you’re out of it in keepers, I’d grab him right now and hold on.

B.J. Upton – 3-for-4 with 3 steals.  Well, if it ain’t the Bossman clocking in four months late.

Matt Joyce – 2-for-4 with 3 homers in the last week.  He’s not going to win any batting titles, but he does have pop and he’s playing every day.

Dan Wheeler – Got the save since Rafael Soriano had worked three days in a row.  Gives you a hint of where Qualls is in the pecking order.  See, the guy in the Buddy Holly glasses isn’t as dopey as he looks.

Carlos Pena – Was walking on crutches today.  No, it’s not a new dance craze, he has a sore foot.

Justin Morneau – Tried to hit in the cages but couldn’t do it.  It’s being speculated that he’s weeks away.  Just-Morn, indeed.

Matt Kemp – 5-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 18th homer.  Kemp collected more hits yesterday than he had collectively in the last 8 days.  He hasn’t had a crazy hot streak all year.  Now would work for me.  Get to it!

Travis Wood -7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks.  You didn’t need to be Ms. Cleo to know this was going to be a nice start for him vs. the Pirates.  I’d definitely own him going forward, just be ready to jump ship.

Orlando Cabrera – Left the game with a strained oblique and is headed to the DL.  Can’t wait until fifty years from now a player has a groundbreaking surgery to fix obliques and then it’s named after him.  Say the Ken Griffey Jr. Jr. Jr. Surgery.

Joey Votto – Sat out yesterday with a sore wrist.  Get well soon, Joey!

Joel Hanrahan – Entered a losing game in the 8th.  Take whatever you want from that.   Still think him and Meek are both vying.  Vie, baby, vie!

Rick Ankiel – 2-for-4 as he started vs. a lefty.  Cox may be playing Ankiel more than Melky because he’s a better fielder.  Doesn’t make Ankiel mixed league material yet, but it’s worth monitoring.

Randy Wells – 4 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I don’t believe he even wanted to pitch well for the last month.  He just wanted to build confidence up in me so he could do this to me.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, and why do you keep fooling me?  Are you mad at me or something?  It’s not cool.

Ryan Braun – 5-for-7, 3 Runs, 2 RBIs.  Prince Fielder; 5-for-7, 2 Runs, 5 RBIs.  McGehee; 2-for-5 with a homer.  Hart; 4-for-7.  Alcides; 3-for-5. Edmonds; 2-for-3… Even Counsell went 2-for-2.  Honestly, I’m not even sure how this game is over.  There doesn’t seem like there were enough outs made.  Did the Cubs forfeit?

Jake Westbrook – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks.  Yes, this looks like a positive sign moving forward, but it was against the Astros.  I’d still be cautious outside of NL-Only leagues.

Sean Burnett – 1 2/3 IP and his first save.  Somehow Sean is the Burnett you want to own.  Go figure.  Or don’t.  Your choice.  Storen pitched 2 innings on Sunday and Burnett entered to face lefties originally.  He’s worth owning if you’re hurting for saves, but Burnett will be mostly a situational closer.

Chase Headley – 4-for-5, 3 Runs, 3 RBIs and his 8th homer.  Nicest thing Headley ever did was have this game on a short schedule day so I didn’t have him on my bench.

Yorvit Torrealba – 3-for-5 and batting near .600 over the last ten games.  I doubt it lasts forever, but if you just lost Santana, Yorvit’s hot.

Andrew Bailey – Won’t return when he’s eligible on Friday, but could return soon after.   If you think the only German words that have a place in baseball are bratwurst, sauerkraut, and lager, I hear ya, but I’d own Wuertz while Bailey mends.

Ryan Howard – Headed to Philly to be examined by doctors.  That’s a good sign in opposite world.  While in opposite world, you can pick up Lyle Overbay to be your first baseman.  He’s awesome!  Hopefully the doctors just need to prescribe some rest and cheese steak soup for Howard.

A.J. Burnett – 4 2/3 IP, 8 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks.  This might be news like, “and water is wet,” but Burnett’s unownable.

Nick Swisher – 2-for-5 and 2 homers.  He makes me almost want to add sideburns to my facial hair accoutrements.

Pedro Alvarez went 3-for-5 with 2 homers.  Had his 2nd two homer game in two days.  Say that fast 117 times!  LMFAO should be playing when Alvarez goes into the batter’s box, “Shot!  Shot!  Shot!  Shot!  Shot!  Shot!”  (I wish I wrote that song.)  Alvarez is 23 years old.  For those who can’t read between the lines, he’s going to get better!!!  (Second and third exclamation marks were for emphasis, not because my keyboard’s keys are sticking.)  Who knew the only thing the Pirates offense needed was to lose their best hitter?  Maybe the Mariners should lock Ichiro in a closet for a few games.  This is Ichiro going into the closet, “Hey, Beltran, what are you doing here?”  I keed.  So what can we expect of Alvarez the rest of the season.  Shot!  Shot!  Shot!  Shot!  Shot!  Shot!  Or 12 homers and a terrible average.  He’s still K’ing too much.  I’d absolutely pick him up in every league just for the chance he keeps hitting bombs.  I would not drop anyone that I might regret.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ty Wigginton – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer in two days.  Casey McGehee’s Dad is historically a streaky hitter and a 2nd half hitter.  Also, the Phillies, Rangers and Yankees are talking about acquiring Wiggy.  Not all of those teams would be a boost to his value, but if I had to take a guess, I’d say Wigginton will be in Friday’s Buy/Sell.

Juan Rivera – Over his last 7 games, he’s hitting .450 with a homer and a steal.  I avoided him like the plague in the preseason, but I have nothing against picking up a random hot outfielder for a two to three week fling.  I’m a fantasy baseball whore like that.

Hideki Matsui – Hit his 2nd homer in the last two games at The Stadium They Built Next To The Stadium Ruth Built.  Must’ve been nice to be home again.  The city where he made his major league debut.  The city where he won the World Series MVP.  The city where he masturbated to his legendary collection of porn.

Delmon Young – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs in the three hole while Mauer rested his long, supple gams.  I like Delmon at the top of the lineup.  He’s hitting and he can throw the bat at an ump harder than anyone else.

Geovany Soto – 1-for-2 with his 13th homer.  Good thing you dropped him!

Ted Lilly – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Trade talks are starting to heat up on Theodore Roosevelt Lilly (<–actual name!).  He’s a three and a half ERA, low WHIP guy wherever he goes, so I wouldn’t be too worried.  (BTW, don’t you think the word ‘three’ should have three E’s?  Maybe it’s just me.)

Jack Cust – 2-for-3 with his 4th homer in the last week.  He could hit 15 homers in the next two-plus months.  Or he could strikeout 100 times.  Or he could do both.  I’d grab him if you’re hurting for power.

Andrew Bailey – For what it’s Wuertz, Wuertz (stutterer!) got the save as Bailey had a routine day off.

Clay Buchholz – 4 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Returned to the DL and then Dice-K pulled a ‘Vice-Versa’ and body switched with him.  I’m sure this was partially due to rust, but Buchholz also was supposed to regress a bit, so there’s that.

Adrian Beltre – 3-for-4 with the slam & legs.  Beltre loves contract years like a fat kid loves cake.

Bronson Arroyo – 5 2/3 IP, 7 ER, 9 baserunners, 1 K.  After starting Arroyo in leagues, I’m walking like I was just jumping hurdles.

Adam Dunn – 0-for-4.  I hope I’m wrong, but I have the sneaking suspicion that Dunn’s average is about to bungee and the cord is going to snap.

Max Scherzer – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks.  Member when he was first called up in 2008 and we nicknamed him Jobacum because he was one part Joba (this was when Chamberlain was good) and one part Lincecum.  Yeah, good times.  Anyhoo, Scherzer’s now looking more like Ubaldcumo.

Randy Wolf – 5 2/3 IP, 12 ER, 15 baserunners, 4 Ks.  The Brewers should buy him a Corvette for making him stay in this game.

George Kottaras – 2-for-4, and he hit his 8th homer which is twice as many as Mauer.

Carlos Gonzalez – Played for part of the game until he had to leave after reaggravating his bruised finger.  Aggravating, indeed.

Yorvit Torrealba – This is a message for the Padres’ front office.  Everyone else can skip to the next blurb.  Padres, it’s nice that you’re winning.  Your pitching is good.  There’s no doubt about that.  When you are batting Yorvit Torrealba 2nd in your lineup, you need to make a trade for hitting.  Don’t delude yourself into thinking that you have all the pieces you need.  Jerry Hairston Jr. is not a leadoff man.  Headley, Denorfia, Venable, Skinny Gwynn, EverCab… They’re all terrible hitters.  Gaby Sanchez is better than all of them and Gaby Sanchez isn’t really that good.  Okay, now go get some bats.

Jason Hammel – 7 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks.  His ERA in Coors is 3.18 and more than 2 runs better than when he’s in pitchers’ parks.  Figure that shizz out.

Jaime Garcia – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Sonavabench!  It’s kinda easier when a player just goes totally bad.  These good starts mixed in with bad starts are much more frustrating.  I just know his next start isn’t going to be good.  I know it in my soul.  I will start him anyway.

Chad Billingsley – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  How can he pitch so poorly then so well?  As Scully would say, “The truth is out there.”  Wait, that’s the wrong Scully.

Marc Rzepczynski – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks.  I wouldn’t own him right now in any leagues.  Even in my league that only uses players with the last name Rzepczynski.

Jose Bautista – The Blue Jays are taking my advice about selling high on Bautista as they take offers from some contending teams.  Now it’ll be interesting to see how many actual teams will buy into Bautista when no fantasy ones will.

Carl Crawford – Day-to-day with testicular contusion, which is different than RuPaul’s testicular confusion.

Erik Bedard – Won’t pitch this year.  Right now, the Erich Bedardens are showing the Bennis Carpensheeters a thing or two about staying unhealthy.  Keep it real, Bedardens!  Will be interesting to see if the M’s fill Bedard’s rotation spot with Chris Tillman– Oh, wait.  At least the Mariners still have Adam Jones– Oh, that’s right.  Yeah, trade’s still not looking so good.

Felix Hernandez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 8 Ks.  He leads the AL in Ks and is 2nd in ERA.  But he may not get to 10 wins.  In other news, I need wins in all of my leagues.  In other other news, kill me now while playing The Carpenters, “We’ve Only Just Begun” because I want to go out IRONICALLY!

Giving invaluable advice is what we do and all you do is sit there eating your cranberry bran muffin and reading it. Over a hundred of you subscribe to the feed, over 2,000 of you stop by daily. As Juan Encarncion might say, “I can’t see you, but I know you’re there.” Without you, it wouldn’t be half the fun. Okay, maybe it would be half the fun, but definitely not three-quarters of the fun. So to repay me, I’m letting you help me with my keeper team.

Caveats you must know:

It’s a NL-only ten team, five player max keeper, standard $260 budget. Scoring categories are: Offensively — Home Runs, OBP, Runs, RBIs, Sbs, Total Bases. Pitching – ERA, Innings, Strikeouts Minus Walks, Saves, Wins, WHIP. I refuse to pay more than $30 for any single player and no more than $100 total on my pitching staff. It’s my oldest keeper league and the winner gets close to two grand, so, ya know, pay attention. Onto the keeper letter to you:

You,

First off, great reading of my site! In the last two years, I’ve traded away Jose Reyes, Prince Fielder, Ryan Braun, Shane Victorino and Hanley Ramirez for nothing. There might be more numbskulled moves, but I’m drunk trying to dull the pain of past blunders. Guess you can also see why I’m soliciting advice. Can’t do much worse! So going into 2008, I have few options. Not “a” few, just few. For $29, I’m keeping Matt Holliday. This is a bargain in our league, or any for that matter. Plus, he falls below my imaginary Mason-Dixon $30 line. Now for the cream of the rest of my crap:

Pedro Martinez at $11. I think he’s got 130 inning/10 wins/ 3.35/good Ks-BB/good WHIP. This seems like a no-brainer to me for $11, but I have my doubts and may wait until spring training’s assessment of the number three man on the Mets.

Jose Valverde at $10. I wish I was able to convince myself not to keep him, but at $10 I’m having a hard time. He’s a nightmare when he explodes, Berkman’s all but said he’s not welcome and I don’t like paying $10 for any closer. I think he could get 35 saves and decent peripherals, but I’m not sold.

Jeff Francis at $12. I don’t think there’s an argument available that could convince me to keep Francis for $12. Believe I can toss him back and not pay more than $10 if I want him again, which I’m not totally against.

Yorvit Torreabla at $5. I’ve sung my praises already for Torreabla. Probably had nice things to say because I’m trying to convince myself he’s worth $5. I’ll probably keep him since I’d like to have catching squared by the draft because the next “great” NL catcher available at the draft may be LoDuca. LoNoThankYou.

Kevin Frandsen at $5. He intrigues me. In little September time as Durham got the bench, Frandsen hit 5 homers and stole 4 bases. Unfortunately, his minors’ numbers say to expect less and he has a lot of minors’ numbers, since he’ll be 26 in May. Still for $5; I might take a flier. Any Giants fans out there that could shed some light on this slap hitter with no speed?

John Patterson at $5. I think I can get him back for close to $5. There you have it; my team sucks.

Yours,
Me

P.S. When’s Bo Bice’s new album coming out? Can’t wait!

Going through this list really depressed me. If anyone has any thoughts, please comment below.

With the top ten overall for fantasy baseball here and the top twenty here, we move onto where to draft each positional player. First up is everyone’s favorite position to skip, the catcher. This year is no different than past years — pretty weak. The best that can be said for these twenty is that they are the cream of the crap. Now, I’m all for drafting a catcher late, but somehow I’ve ended up with Brian McCann and Victor Martinez on one of my most important teams the last two years. So, as much as I preach drafting a catcher late, I don’t always practice it. Hey, you have to draft value, no matter the player. If you’d like to take a look at our 2007 Player Rater, it can be found here. Now, your 2008 catchers:

1. Victor Martinez – One and two were real close and I briefly had Russell Martin at number one, but I can’t trust a catcher to run as much as he did last year. Not to mention, Russell slowed down a lot in the 2nd half. Anyway, this is about Martinez and he’s about as solid as you can get in a packed lineup. Projections: 75/25/115/.300

2. Russell Martin – As mentioned above, he slowed down a lot in the 2nd half last year, which means he may try and pace himself more this year and slow down a bit in the 1st half. Not a good thing for someone who’s ranking relies a lot on his steals. Nevertheless, the catching position isn’t great so here’s Russell. Projections: 85/20/90/.290/15

3. Brian McCann – I like him more than Mauer; all right, shoot me. Last year, he struggled with an injury to his hand that he sustained while catching, causing his numbers to look a bit down. He’s still very young (24 in 2008) with time to grow into more power. With Andruw gone and a full year of Tex, McCann’s numbers should get a bit of a plus. Projections: 75/25/105/.285

4. Joe Mauer – Mauer yawnstipates me. Everyone know what yawnstipates means? It’s when you have to yawn, but can’t. Basically, you’re constipated with your yawning. You want to yawn at his numbers, but he manages to do just enough so you can’t yawn. Mauer turned down hernia surgery in the offseason that seemed to be required and opted for rest. He’s yet to prove he can give anything other than average and runs. Average and runs are a great yawnstipator. Projections: 85/15/70/.310/10

5. Jorge Posada – With his lineup, Posada can ground out to 2nd and force in 30 RBIs. There’s little upside here, and the average last year was a blip on the radar, but steady as he goes. Projections: 70/20/90/.270

6. Jason Varitek – He’s basically Posada with facial hair. Projections: 70/20/85/.265

7. Jarrod Saltalamacchia – I tried, but I had to cut and paste that last name. The boy is young and in a hitter’s paradise. This might be a bit of a reach, but it’s the catching position, take a few gambles. Better to look for upside at catcher, than at 1st base. His numbers could exceed Posada’s but he comes with some risk, obviously. Projections: 75/22/85/.285

8. Kenji Johjima – Now you see why Salty was at number six. Folks, your 2008 catchers! Kenji makes me full on yawn. Projections: 60/17/70/.295

9. Ramon Hernandez – Last year he caused you to rah-MOAN. Oofa! But he’s not completely over the hill just yet. Could be a late-round steal on draft day in mixed leagues. Projections: 60/20/85/.275

10. Bengie Molina – The most successful of The Catching Molina Bros. and the only one that should be on a fantasy team. Sorry, Yadir. Projections: 45/20/80/.270

11. Ronnie Paulino – Now things get interesting with some upside. Sure, there’s a chance he’ll bungle a pop-up and get sent to the minors, but, if things work out right, he could give decent numbers. Projections: 60/17/70/.275

12. Carlos Ruiz – More beautiful, beautiful upside. I posted a blog here all about Carlos Ruiz. Suffice it to say, I got high hopes for this sumbitch! Projections: 60/17/70/.275/10

13. Ivan Rodriguez – Here, there’s no upside. Not an ounce of it. Unless he starts juicing again. Weird how his nickname Pudge went from stating the obvious to being sarcastic in four years. Projections: 55/10/65/.285/5

14. Yorvit Torrealba – More upside or as they say in da hood, “Snoops upside your head.” I was worried when it looked like Yorvit might go to the Mets. In Coors, he just might surprise you. Or, at the least, you can do a lot worse in an NL-only league. Projections: 55/12/55/.265/3

15. Johnny Estrada – It could be worse; it could be Paul LoDuca. In the Mets lineup, he should get you some RBIs and runs, but don’t ask for more. Projections: 60/9/70/.285

16. A.J. Pierzynski – Maybe he’ll get into a fight with the Cubs’ Soto. Projections: shit/shit/shit/and more shit. Seriously, if you’re drafting this bozo, you’re in an AL-only league and you know what you’re getting. 60/15/50/.260

17. Paul LoDuca – He says he wants to prove the Mets wrong. I say, how? By hitting 7 homers and twelve doubles. Please. Projections: 50/7/55/.275/3

18. Mike Napoli – There’s some upside here, if Rex Hudler (The Hud!) is right. Cause The Hud sees a thing of beauty. Then again, The Hud would probably draft Garrett Anderson in the second round. Um, well… At least it looks like Napoli’s starting for the Halos. Projections: 45/13/50/.260/7

19. John Buck – John Buck is a rich man’s David Ross. Projections: 40/17/45/.250

20. Michael Barrett – I like Barrett here a lot and considered moving him up. Unfortunately, Barrett’s not even the number one catcher on his team right now. Luckily, Bard is no sure thing. I explained what happened to Barrett once before, but here goes again. In Chicago, he got depantsed by the school bully right in front of the girl he had a crush on. Disgraced, he left town, but it lingered with him for the remainder of the year. Now, he gets some new threads, a new haircut and, at the start of a school year, he can be a new guy. I say Barrett can give as much value as rah-MOAN, if he can put his past behind him and get a starting job. Keep a close eye on how Bard and him shake out, because Barrett can still produce. Projections: 55/17/60/.285, if he plays. Put him in, Black!