The Rangers are thinking about calling up big-time prospect, Jurickson Profar. When I saw that news my eyes did the John Lithgow’s eyes when he sees the gremlin on the wing of the plane in Twilight Zone, The Movie. Then I started thinking, as I’m wont to do on occasion, Kinsler is on lock, Andrus isn’t going anywhere yet, Beltre and Olt can play 3rd, while Young can butcher all 4 positions and fly the “This guy is the heart of our team” flag.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sometimes when you take the fielding coach a little too literal, this is what happens. Miguel Cabrera came face to face with his fielding fears and a baseball and the baseball won. A sharp grounder shattered his sunglasses, leaving his right eye a bloody mess. The good news for Miggy, the doctor prescribed a 15 ounce porterhouse. No word if Miggy put it on his eye with or without A1 Steak Sauce. Just thought of something. Since the 2012 All-Star Game is in Kansas City, I’m sure George Brett will throw out the first pitch. You thought he was mad during the Pine Tar Game, wait until he sees Miggy and Hanley playing 3rd. From early reports, it sounds like Miggy will be fine, but Tigers won’t release Miggy’s face X-rays until after this posts on Tuesday, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. An&yswy, hiacte’s– Sorry, I’ll cross my fingers after I’m done with the post. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Joakim Soria – Has UCL damage, which isn’t related to damage caused by a drunk UL Washington. Or as Van Morrison would say, “His elbow doesn’t feel good. His elbow doesn’t feel right. His name is Soria. S-O-R-I-A… And his name is Soria… S-O-R-I-A…” There was talk that Soria should’ve been traded a few years ago. I tend to agree, you don’t have a $12 salad if you can’t make your rent, but that’s neither here nor there now. Some reports are saying Broxton will fill in as the closer. I think Holland will close in Soria’s stead. If you’re desperate for saves, I’d grab both of them. At this point, it’s not clear who will take over the role. I think it’s only about a 55% chance for Holland to be the closer, so you better grab an umbrella.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2012 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Joe Mauer is done for the year with pneumonia. I’m almost 100% sure Morneau was the carrier of the virus. On Friday, frequent commenter Mike said, “If you went to Joe Mauer’s house, went into his basement, jack-hammered through the concrete, and started digging, what would be the under/over on number of feet you’d have to go down before you found the first dessicated Native American corpse? 3 feet? 4 feet? I mean, that Native American graveyard can’t be that far below the surface.” I honestly never thought I’d say this this (stutterer!) early in his career, but I think Mauer’s going to be a bargain next year. Assuming he falls into the 10th round or later, he’s worth the gamble at catcher for 2012, right? I mean, even if he only gets 100 games and hits .300, it’s worth the ulcer, isn’t it? I think so. With that said (yeah, here comes opposite talk), I’m sure glad I haven’t drafted him the last two years in any league. He hit 3 homers this year. As in between 2 and 4. Jesus Montero has that many in 10 games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Heyward sat again yesterday in favor of Jose Constanza. I don’t want to shout fire in the theater of Razzball, but this isn’t good. Constanza is making Heyward look like the best seller at the jerk store. Actually, Heyward was kinda doing it to himself.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The horrid season for Shin-Soo Choo continues. He’s probably wishing he just went the Bob Feller-Inglorious Basterd route and did his required military time this year in his home country. Kevin Correia said, “We could’ve used him.” Now when Choo gets blotto he can’t even hitchhike home from one side of the road. An optimistic timetable has him out for 6 weeks, but it sounds like Choo doesn’t think he can. I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t see him until September and, even then, what are you going to get? The same you’d get off waivers. If you don’t have DL room, I’d cut him, Mickey. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Jose Tabata – Left the game on a cart with a quad injury after running out a bunt single. Paula Deen would call that a bunt ache. Or, as Cameron Frye would say, Tabata Tabata Tabata, stuh-rain, Tabata Tabata. The Pirates immediately pulled Alex Presley from their Triple-A lineup. It’s time for the really big shew with today’s guest, Alex Presley. Girls in poodle skirts go crazy. I just went over Presley the other day. I said, “He sticks…longer…profiles…” Hmm… Gotta work on what quotes I pull. He’s a 12/20 guy over the course of a season. In one league instead of Presley, I grabbed Xavier Paul, though Garrett Jones was who the Pirates called on yesterday to replace Tabata. He would be my first choice too in some fantasy leagues.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Recently, I had the pleasure of doing karaoke with Johnny Cueto. He decided to go with Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. Here’s what he sang, “I took my ERA and I took it down…. I climbed a mountain and I turned around… And I saw my xFIP in the snow covered hills… Well, I’ve been afraid of changing… ‘Cause I’ve kicked the life out of Jason LaRue… Awh, take this ERA, and TAKE IT DOWN!…” Then I joined him on stage for Islands in the Stream. Cueto was pitch perfect with Stevie Nicks even if he did skip lines here and there to keep it related to fantasy baseball. Right now, his ERA is 1.63. Oh, c’mon. Seriously, come on. Come on, come on, come on Chameleon! His xFIP is 3.52. His K-rate is 6.23 which isn’t good and below previous season marks. He’s leaving 83% men on and has a .216 BABIP. There’s not one category he’s excelling in right now except ERA. The mouth on the left side says, “S.” The mouth on the right side says, “ell.” Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Jonathan Broxton – ‘So much junk, so much junk inside that trunk’ could be lyrics about the Dodgers bullpen or specifically about Broxton.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jair Jurrjens has a xFIP of 3.64 and a K-rate of 5.23. Sounds like you should brave the trade winds with Jar-Jar. Or maybe I should say, “Wash that Jurrjens right outta your Jair!” Okay, breathe, Grey, you got puns, I get it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
J.J. Hardy has been hotter than a Latin woman frying chorizo in the Sahara desert. Why she is in the Sahara is fodder for a J.J. Abrams movie. In 2008, Hardy hit 24 homers and .283 in his fourth big league season. Then poof. Nothing. He vanished. Or did he? It’s the real Hardy Boy mystery and, if he did it in a small bucolic town, it could be read as voiceover by Keith Morrison on Dateline. He’s still only 28 years old and capable of 20+ homers over the course of the season. Over the last ten games alone, 3 home runs and hitting .395. Next week, the moon! And Abrams might have a thing to say about why the moon too. If Hardy’s on waivers, I’d absolutely grab him to see if he can continue to hit and stay healthy. J.J.’s dyn-o-mite! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Tommy Hanson – Scratched from his Friday start with a sore shoulder. Hanson’s value goes Mmmmplop. Hopefully, he just needs a few days, but a shoulder problem… Well, just keep telling yourself he’s gonna be all right.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dustin Ackley was recalled (don’t ask why it’s recalled and not called up, baseball’s arcane at times). Here’s what I said when he was about to get the call a little under a month ago, “Guess what ya’ll we’re gonna talk about the Mariners! Snooze. But we’re talking about the top Mariners prospect! Yawn. But it’s Dustin Ackley and he hit 5 homers and stole 2 bases in Triple-A last year over 237 plate appearances! Burp. So far this year, he’s been better with power and speed — 9 homers and 6 steals through 64 games (updated!).” And that’s me quoting and updating me! Because his home park ends in -co — Petco, Safeco, Metco — his power may take a bit of a hit. His speed isn’t gazelle-like.Please, blog, may I have some more?