Or is it Philly adds pap shmear to their J-Roll? What, icky? Sorry, friend. The Phils signed Jonathan Papelbon to a silly deal of sillier proportions. Maybe the Phils should move to the Santa Ynez Valley because their replacement of Madson is a sideways move. <– movie pun! Well, for whatever reason the Phils don’t like Madson and what he brings, so they got themselves a marquee name to close out games. I don’t think this changes Papelbon’s value whatsoever. Or what so ever, if you like to space out. You know whose value does change? Welcome to the bigs, Daniel Bard! Wait, he’s already been in the bigs. Damn you, devil, get out of the details. Here’s hoping Bard authors saves instead of losses like in September, otherwise hearing the Bahd is closing might be as stressful to the average Southie as the bahr is closing. Though, I’d be a real Gomer to not consider the Red Sox may just bring in a different big name closer to fill the role. Though, Part II: It’s One Of Though’s Again, I do think they’ll give Bard the ball in the ninth and he’ll be terrific. Throw him in the donkeycorns, kids, and giddy up. Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves so far and what they mean for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Melky Cabrera – Traded to the Giants. Luckily, I heard Sandoval’s lactose-intolerant or he might’ve taken a bite of Melky’s arm. Melky was going to be overrated going into 2012 and now he moves into a pitcher’s park. That’s a fold to the dealer’s picture card. If he hits 15 homers and .260, color me surprised with a lime-scented marker.
Jonathan Sanchez – Goes the other way to the Royals. Actually makes more sense to me that the Giants send away Filthy Sanchez then get Melky. The Giants were fed up with Sanchez walking seven guys in four and two-thirds. Never the hoo! We’re talking fantasy not real baseball (whatever that is!) and Filthy can take down any hitter on any given night. The question has never been his ability. He’s the 25 to 1 gamble that you pray makes good on his promise.
Lorenzo Cain – Will take over for Melky. Last year when I praised Cain, here’s what I said, “He has 20+ steal speed and some light pop. Best case scenario, he puts up a Victorino-like season. Worst case scenario, he’s unownable and while you’re dropping him to waivers you throw out your back and end up in traction. I imagine in most leagues, he’ll be drafted as a “cool pick” then dropped before the first week ends. In AL-Only leagues, he’s a great endgame sleeper pick.” And that’s me quoting me! For the short attention spanners, he’ll be a flyer worth taking in all leagues because of his 10 homer, 20+ steal potential.
Grady Sizemore – Likely to land an incentives-laden deal somewhere. If one of his incentives is “Help Grey win a fantasy championship,” then I’d draft him. Otherwise, it’s been real and fun but not really fun.
Rod Barajas – Signed by the Pirates. Barajas is Spanish for “even in a deep league you’re not drafting him.”
Pat Burrell – Retiring so he can have more time to sleep with your wife.
Jamey Carroll – Twins signed him. Nothing says offensive boost like a guy with a girl’s name. Hey, I hear Greta Van Susteren can hit a curve. Go after her, boys!
Wilson Ramos – Was kidnapped by gunpoint, but found safely by authorities. His kidnappers said they decided not to use Ramos as one of their keepers.
Marlins – Revealed their new logo, which looks a lot like this.
The national budget isn’t the only thing that’s strained in DC, Ryan Zimmerman is headed to the DL with an ab strain. This was an injury that originally happened in Spring Training and now it looks like the ab has taken out a *pinkie to mouth* restraining order. Zimmerman always seemed like such a good boy, who knew he had a bad side? For those baby boomers in the audience, Robert Zimmerman is Dylan and Ryan Zimmerman is illin’. For those housewives reading on, Ryan’s owners whine of choice is Zimm-for-DL. Yeah, that pun is a worse strain than his. So now that this strain has resurfaced, it makes me think the Nats are going to let it heal for a lot longer than 15 days to make sure there’s no more relapses. Worse, if they don’t play it safe and rush him back in two weeks, he could reinjure himself and be out for another few weeks. (Something that could, unfortunately, happen anyway.) All in all, it’s a good day to not own Zimmerman. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Alexi Ogando – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks. A…O…A’ight! BTW, do you know Tony Danza’s blood type? It’s AO. Watch out, Catskills, here comes Grey! Another great start for the converted outfielder. It’s been a while since the Rangers let an outfielder take the mound (see Jose Canseco) but it’s paid off big. Looks like Tommy Hunter has been Pipp’d! Ogando did leave in the 8th with a recurring blister. It’s something to watch. Not literally, unless you’re in the same room as him.
Justin Verlander – 9 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. Rudy’s Cy Young pick held down the dangerous Texas offense. If the Tigers could’ve scored a few runs and Verlander had more than 4 Ks, it would’ve warranted more exclamatory punctuation.
Andrew Bailey – A’s said he should be back in a few weeks. So his ETA for getting hurt again is approximately a few weeks and a day.
Rajai Davis – To the 15-day DL with an ankle injury. You never hear about cankle injuries. You goofed, God, cankles are more durable.
Sam Fuld – 4-for-6 with two doubles, a triple and a homer to complete The Hungry Man cycle. The 30-year-old AAAA Cub OF has become a Bear since he moved to Tampa. He’s now stolen 5 SBs on the year and hit his first bomb today. Don’t drop anyone too valuable for him, but you’ve got to ride his hot streak.
Jeremy Hellickson – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners (5 walks), 1 K. Hellickson didn’t have his ‘A’ stuff. Wasn’t quite his Triple-A stuff either. Didn’t matter since the Rays bats finally made it through customs.
Matt Joyce – 1-for-6, batting third. Would’ve been nice if he had a big game to justify him staying in the lineup, but that’s A Portrait of the Unqualified Hitter in the Three Hole from Joyce.
Adrian Gonzalez – 1-for-2 with a triple and Ortiz went 2-for-4 with a triple as the grounds crew at Fenway moved third base on top of second.
Edinson Volquez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks with more first inning shenanigans. The Reds might consider letting Volquez pitch batting practice to the Reds before his starts.
Chris Heisey – 1-for-4 with his 1st homer as he hit leadoff. Dusty thinks Oh-Bee-Pee is that movie theater candy that stick in your teeth, but I still wouldn’t be surprised if Stubbs sits a lot more if he doesn’t start hitting.
Jonny Gomes – Now has a homer in back-to-back games. Not quite as hot as Jennifer Connelly going back-to-back in Requiem for a Dream, but not bad.
Jonathan Herrera – 2-for-4, now 7 for his last 10 with steals in back-to-back games. Shouldn’t last but in deep enough leagues, I’d definitely take a look. (Note: As I wrote that, WordPress told me, “You do not have permission to do that.” Take that as you want.)
Seth Smith – 3-for-4 with a steal. Right now, The Lisper’s Nightmare is playing every day vs. righties and hitting .367.
Mike Pelfrey – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks. Probably the last time I’m going to repeat myself on this topic so head’s up to those of youse who weren’t paying attention for the last three months. Ixnay on the Elfreypay.
Mark Buehrle – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 1 K. Isn’t it funny — which naturally means this is completely unfunny — how Buehrle throws a perfect game or near-perfect game a few times a year then is totally mediocre the rest of the year?
Matt Thornton – 1/3 IP with the blown save, but the tying run was unearned, so there’s the junebug on the duck’s back or some other yokelism. BTW, Juan Pierre has blown the last two Thornton blown saves. He’s like the anti-DeWayne Wise.
Asdrubal Cabrera – Homer yesterday, now has 4 homers on the year. A’la Cher from Clueless, “As….DRUBAL!”
Mitch Talbot – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. Talbot has a 1.46 ERA on the year, Indians are 8-2 and a pig just flew by my window. And the pig was wearing a lovely Hawaiian muumuu from Talbot’s.
Tyler Chatwood – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks. Did they promote him from an Indiana high school? (Hey, Hoosiers fans!) He’s super young/raw/adjective and his last name sounds like a website you don’t want your significant other finding in your browser history. I wouldn’t touch Chatwood at all this year in non-keepers, until he strings together a few weeks of quality starts.
Starlin Castro – 3-for-5, a steal and hitting .364. He’s no As…DRUBAL! But he’s doing his thang. Or is it thing?
Madison Bumgarner – 5 IP, 5 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks. It’s time to worry that the extra innings last year are emphasizing the first syllable of his last name.
Pat Burrell – 2-for-2 with his 4th homer. It’s Pat the Bat and he’s swinging, ladies.
Chone Figgins – It’s one thing when someone like Ryan Howard doesn’t hit their weight, but when it’s someone like Figgins it’s another thing. Figgins left Monday night’s game early with a thumb bruise – early word is that it’s day-to-day but he probably warrants a stint on the Disgraceful List.
Matt Kemp – 1-for-2, 1 RBI and his 7th steal while batting .441! New coach Davey Lopes is like the SB whisperer. BTW, a friend went to Kemp’s party after the Dodgers opening night win at a club here in LA. Two hours after the win, Kemp was standing on the bar with two champagne bottles flipped over, pouring into his mouth like he was a fountain. I like it! He’s playing loose!
Rafael Furcal – Broken thumb and he’s contemplating retirement. Sounds like his dream of being a movie reviewer isn’t going to happen either.
Jon Rauch – Yesterday, Shawn Camp got to blow the game for the Jays. Okay, not sure where Rauch was. A pickup game with Mets pitcher, Chris Young? Saving a kitten from the top of a skyscraper? Picking coconuts?
Mat Latos – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. Actually, he didn’t look that bad, but I still wouldn’t buy into him because of the excess innings from last year. Also, I find it weird how I loved him last year and this year I watched him for about two innings and thought he was such a douche. “Ooh, I’m Mat Latos and I’m yelling for Gomes to run faster on a home run.” Perhaps if you stop giving them up, it won’t be a problem. How’s dem apples? Sour?
Orlando Hudson – 2-for-4, 2 steals. He stole 4 bases in April of 2009 and only stole 4 more the rest of the year. Yup.
Corey Patterson – 2-for-5 with a homer as he filled in for Rajai. Looking for a guy that can give you an 0-for-35? Look no further! For a limited time only, Patterson might be a worthwhile fantasy add.
Milton Bradley – 2-for-4 with his first homer. He’s still batting third and batty, in general.
Lance Berkman – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and 2 homers. Welcome to the Cardinals, Guy Who Looks Like He Could Be the Host of Man vs. Food’s Father.
Kyle McClellan – 6 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks. For my next trick, I will resurrect Steve Howe’s corpse and turn him into a Hall of Famer. That’s what Dave Duncan said after yesterday’s game.
Hello, new readers. No, this isn’t High Times dot com, but don’t worry there’s Doritos at the end of this post. Hey, don’t skip ahead. You have to read the post first. Yes, the computer is talking to you. Aw, I’m just messing with you. The computer’s not talking to you. You’re just reading, silly! So, Bud Norris didn’t come out of nowhere to be my new Razzpick du jour. Yesterday, he went six innings, giving up one run and K’d 4. In the not-too-decent past, I mentioned liking his upside. For our friends in Latin America, the caveat is his wildness. The love comes from the fact he has more Ks than innings. There’s only ten other starters with more than 110 innings in the major leagues that can claim that. That’s one starter for every finger. Unless Antonio Alfonseca is reading this. The wildness is still there, but he hasn’t walked more than 3 batters in a game since April. I’d absolutely grab Norris for the last month if I needed Ks (who doesn’t?) and some upside (of course you do). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Johnson – 4-for-6, 1 RBI in a 16th inning game that saw Roy Oswalt play left field and Tim Kurkjian’s voice cracking at the sheer craziness of the game. Can you believe this game, fellas?!
Ryan Howard – 0-for-7 with 5 Ks before he was ejected. That’s the golden early shower sombrero.
Ian Kinsler – Received good news that he’s about week away from trying to re-injure himself again in the major leagues. Here’s to that next injury, Kinsler!
Luke Scott – Three straight games now with a homer. He has 25 homers on the year. I.e., the same as Adrian Gonzalez and Prince Fielder. Luck my fife.
Bobby Jenks – When Putz came out injured (zipper problem?), Jenks came in and sealed the deal with a perfect save. With Thornton headed to the DL, Jenks is your closer.
Hong-Chih Kuo – And Broxton is not your closer. Or at least he wasn’t last night. Broxton was the closer on Saturday then his next time out he looked like how Torre treats Kemp. I imagine Kuo will get another save or two until Broxton can get his shizz together.
Matt Kemp – Notched a slam & legs as the Dodgers somehow made due without Pods’ grit and wily veteranship. Perhaps Ronnie Belliard’s determinedness and Manny’s insouciance made up for it.
Chad Billinsgley – Will have his next start pushed back to Saturday because of a tweaked calf. Hopefully he doesn’t go ice skating on his time off.
Jorge de la Rosa – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. You might feel like you need bulbs the size of onions to start some of these guys, but dlR hasn’t given up more than 3 runs in over a month.
Eric Young Jr. – 3-for-4 with his 9th steal. He’s leading off every game and stealing. You really shouldn’t need more.
Javier Vazquez – Moving to the bullpen for a little while while (stutterer!) Ivan Nova takes over his starting spot. Vazquez should’ve been dropped months ago; now you have no excuse. I went over Nova yesterday, you can get to it from here with a little ingenuity. The gist: Always drink your Novaltine!
Carlos Zambrano – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. I’ll cop to grabbing Big Z in one league. Hey, if you can’t beat ‘em or file a restraining order…
Carlos Marmol – 1 1/3 IP, 3 ER. Your Ks make me so happy, your wildness makes me so sad. It’s bittersweet, more sweet than bitter, bitter than sweet, Big Head Todd.
Tyler Colvin – 2-for-3 with a homer as he hit in the eight hole. Big change from when Lou was batting him leadoff. The eight hole for NL hitters is death.
Matt Holliday – 1-for-4 with his 22nd homer. He’s doing what you hoped Markakis would do and Josh Hamilton’s doing what you hoped Holliday would do. Maybe finally next year people won’t expect the Holliday of Coors to still show up.
Evan Meek – Recorded the save with 1 IP, 1 ER and 4 baserunners, bringing his August ERA to 8.59. His name is looking more and more like an aptronym. Hanrahanananan hasn’t been much better, so the Pirates may just play matchups, using both relievers. Yes, a shituation that already yielded next to no saves just got worse.
Jose Tabata – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and a steal. Steal-tuh-batta-batta-steal!
Kila Ka’aihue – The Good Eyein’ Hawai’ian hit his first homer of the year. Can grab him in AL-Only leagues, but for now hold your junk in mixed leagues.
Rick Porcello – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks. That’s nice, but he has a 5.26 ERA in August. Porcello a mushroom cloud away from a blow up.
Ryan Raburn – 2-for-4 with his 8th homer. I’ve already mentioned on a few occasions that I like Raburn. Raburn’s the horse, and it’s been beat.
Jhonny Peralta – Now 5 for his last 7. So far Silent H has been deadly for your fantasy teams, so I’d try and maintain my jhoy.
Will Rhymes – 2-for-4, getting comical how much he’s been getting on base (.476 over the last week) and still doesn’t have a steal. You got the rhyming, now bring on the stealing!
Hideki Matsui – 3-for-5 and hitting near-.400 in the last week. Still only has 2 homers this month, but if the million other hitters I’d own before Matsui are taken, here ya go.
Mike Napoli – Sat out again as the Angels placed him on waivers. It’s pretty normal for teams to place guys on waivers, but the irony is (if it is irony… no one has any idea what irony is), if the Angels were to see a team place a 20 homer 1st baseman on waivers and they didn’t know who he was, they would want him. Seriously, Napoli, apologize for sleeping with Scioscia’s wife. You were drunk, it’s all good. Bros before, well, you know.
Clayton Richard – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks. Guess where he pitched. Yup.
Will Venable – 2-for-3 with a slam & legs. Was his 6th steal in his last ten games. Yes, he really is this fast.
Gaby Sanchez – 2-for-3 and 3 homers in his last five games and now has 15 home runs on the year. Looks like someone didn’t like that I compared him to Lyle Overbay. Well, Lyle Overbay has 16 homers. Cust kayin’.
Brandon Phillips – 3-for-5 with 2 homers. He’s on an insane hot streak right now. One four-hit and two three-hit nights in his last five, three-oh-nine.
Freddy Sanchez – 4-for-4, 4 Runs and a homer. The game before, 4-for-5. Since Freddy got fingered to platoon with Fontenot, he’s hitting near .450.
Pat Burrell – 0-for-3 as the Giants scored 16 runs. Ticker tease!
Coco Crisp – 3-for-5, with a homer and a steal. Last night was a huge night for slams & legses.
Angel Pagan – 4-for-5, 3 Runs and his 31st steal. Do you realize Angel Pagan is a top ten fantasy outfielder according to ESPN’s Player Rater? Sure, steals are overvalued on that thing, but that’s still kinda crazy.
R.A. Dickey – 7 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 8 Ks. Starts like this happen because of the unpredictable nature of the knuckleball. On a sidenote, this game saw Dickey going against Johnson. Sounds less like a baseball game and more like a sword fight.
For the Ministry of Silly Names, this is a great day. Finally, Coco Crisp gets his just deserts, or is it breakfast? Coco Crisp has had a problem with injuries in the past, constantly going snap, crackle, pop. Now I’m with Coco, as long as he doesn’t move to TBS. His game was Baroque, now it’s roCoco. He steals so many bases, it could be considered cereal. The amount of puns with Crisp is radicchio. Since August he’s hitting .345 in August and has 15 steals in the last two months. You say tomato, I say SAGNOF. He’s only owned in 32% of ESPN leagues and that’s about 68% short of making sense. Dyslexic gang members aren’t the only ones that should show Crisp some love. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Eric Young Jr. – Playing every day, leading off, stealing bases. And Junior sprints also make a wonderful after-dinner treat.
Ryan Raburn – What’s this? Last week’s Buy/Sell? C’mon, don’t make me repeat myself. Moving on…
Yuniesky Betancourt – Hmm… If this is what we’re moving on to, maybe we might want to backtrack. Betancourt’s hitting .350 in August and has 4 homers in the last ten games.
Ian Desmond – Member when he had a solid callup last year and I got excited about him for 2010? Yeah, maybe he’s just a solid last two months of the season player.
Dexter Fowler – Open up your lesson planner to page 17, find question #7, “Own fast players that get on base. Such as?” Now with a number two pencil, write in Dexter Fowler’s name.
Lorenzo Cain – Okay, so most of these players do nothing but steal bases, but at least I’m not talking about Pat Burrell again.
Pat Burrell – You lied to me!
Ryan Kalish – Wanna know how much I like Kalish? This much. Hmm… You can’t see how big I’m opening my arms, can you? How about now? Okay, let’s forget the show, try the tell. He had 13 homers and 25 steals this year in the minors. Also, made the top 50 fantasy baseball prospects.
Micah Hoffpauir – Limited power, but he’s on the right side of the 1st base platoon, which is the left side. Weird!
Brandon Allen – You thought Hoffpauir was a deep look at a corner infidel? Here’s Brandon Allen, who not only sounds like a department store, he’s the size of one too. LaRoche may get moved soon if the Diamondbacks can make a trade happen. If so, one of December Grey’s favorites, Brandon Allen, reemerges. Great pop, and should be owned right now in deep keepers.
Mitch Moreland – The Rangers should totally trade for Brad Hawpe and then utilize him in a bench, don’t-know-what-we’re-going-to-do-with-this-schmohawk capacity. Then he can keep Cantu company. Moreland’s showing some light power and a good OBP, which is similar to his minor league numbers.
David Murphy – Ownership numbers are trending upwards, but they’re not quite where I want them. I will impose my fantasy baseball advice on you or die tryin’. /Nerdy Fiddy
Daniel Hudson – I think I’ve mentioned him four times in the last three days. Let’s stay fresh and just say I like him.
Homer Bailey – I just know recommending him is going to blow up in my face because of his absolute inability to be consistent. Look at me throwing the hedge on the Buy landscape.
Hisanori Takahashi – Now for the saves portion of our Buy/Sell…
Brandon Lyon – In most leagues, you can’t trade anymore so it’s imperative you grab saves off waivers. To be continued in the next blurb.
Hong-Chih Kuo – Though not all saves are created equal. I think Broxton returns in the landmark case of sooner vs. later.
Wilton Lopez – I’m not sure going three deep for saves on the Astros is the brightest move. Though it shows courage. You use that one the next time you’re in a bar. Hey, Sweet Lips, a fantasy baseball blog said I’m courageous because I picked up Wilton Lopez. Your place or mine. Actually, let’s go with my place so I can make sure Kemp isn’t being benched by Torre.
SELL
Tyler Colvin – These players are now all of the drop variety, not necessarily sell. Colvin’s being benched by Sweet Lou (Alan Trammell? Jim Belushi? Whoever’s managing the Cubs now…)
Ben Zobrist – I’m bummed I didn’t push harder in the preseason and write the Zobrist overrated post. I wrote in the rankings that I thought he was a glorified utility man, but I should’ve been more vocal. In shallow leagues, I’d lose Zobrist for a hot middle infielder. In deep leagues, you need to be a bit more conservative.
Raul Ibanez – This one hrmphs me. I thought he’d have an extended hot streak in his bat, but now I think he’s just old. For the last 5 weeks or so of the season, you can find a hotter outfield bat.
Chone Figgins – I want to finish the job Don Wakamatsu couldn’t.
Chase Utley went 0-for-5 as he returned from the DL. My favorite advice by fantasy ‘perts is when they tell you to get a returning superstar into your lineup. Do people often leave their 1st round picks on the DL when they’re playing? Is this something I need to tell people? While you’re at it, get Pujols in your lineups too. Oh, and put on some pants before you get arrested. Another returning middle infielder with an oh-fer yesterday was Dustin Pedroia. Scrappy Doo fought hard to come back early, so he might not be at his usual 110%, but at, say, 80% he’s Dustin Pedro and that’s enough for me. The last man to recover from the 2010 Middle Infieluenza Epidemic was Martin Prado, who actually had some hits with a 3-for-5, 2 RBIs night. [dur] Get them all in your lineup. [/dur] Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jacoby Ellsbury – Has a fractured rib. Sounds like he’s donezo. Just think, all the frustration you put up with this year owning him was your sacrifice for everyone who gets him cheaper next year. Good karma to you.
Ryan Kalish – 1-for-4 with a grand slam. With the D’Ellsbury situation, Kalish will play every day and he’s hitting .300 with 2 homers in 15 games.
Omar Infante – 2-for-4 with a steal even with Prado returning. As predicted here (after I talked to my psychic), Infante is continuing to play (and hit).
Mike Minor – 6 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. His changeup is nasty. Don’t make me break up the word to emphasize it. All right, fine! His changeup is… Nas. Tee. He made Zimmerman look silly on a few pitches. He won’t be in the rotation forever, but I’d own him while he’s there. Get all over him in keepers.
Josh Willingham – The other white meat is out for the season with what they’re calling a bum knee. Was he sleeping in a cardboard box?
Mike Leake – Heading to the bullpen to limit his innings this year. But can’t Dusty now throw him every day? Hmm…
Luke French – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks. Don’t even think about picking him up. This was as good as it baguettes with French.
Matt Tuiasosopo – 2-for-4 with a homer. Not much to see here other than the best last name that you can’t pronounce.
Curtis Granderson – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer in four games after going 3-for-3 yesterday. I’m a bit worried about even mentioning him because I know if you still own him, he’s probably on your bench. If he’s in your lineup, you probably aren’t reading this.
Austin Jackson – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer. I’ll be honest; I didn’t even think he’d be batting .300 as late as May 15th and he’s still at .302. But, potatoes to chips, he’s also putting up 2nd baseman-ish numbers.
Brandon Morrow – 4 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 2 Ks. Okay, so maybe he was still a little spent from his last game.
Coco Crisp – 3-for-4 with 2 steals. Now has 18 steals in 46 games. Member when Billy Beane was against steals? Or maybe that was Brad Pitt.
Hisanori Takahashi – Jerry Manuel said Takahashi will be his closer. He said that yesterday. Obviously it could change tomorrow. For now, Au Bon Japan!
Kila Ka’aihue – Had his 2nd 2-for-4 game in a row yesterday. Not worth grabbing outside of deep leagues yet, but I’m watching him.
Gregor Blanco – 2-for-4 with his 4th steal in the last four games (though 3 of them came in one game). The Royals are playing him and he might be trying to prove his worth on the basepaths.
Wilson Betemit – 2-for-4 with his 2nd homer in his last three games. It’s feast or famine for a lot of these peasant Royals.
Pat Burrell – Hit his 11th homer after the Philly fans gave him a standing ovation. I’d say it was a classy move, but I think it was “If You Slept With Pat The Bat You Get In For Free Night.”
Jose Guillen – 2-for-4 with his first homer as a Giant. Poor Andres Torres has to play the entire outfield.
Angel Pagan – Was benched yesterday for Fernando Martinez because of Pagan’s extended slump. In non-keeper leagues, it might be time to thank Pagan for his services and start looking elsewhere.
Ricky Nolasco – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks. Is it already that time of the year where he gets everyone’s hopes up for next year? Prepare yourself for this March commenter, “Grey, check it, brah. Nolasco’s sick. March commenter out!”
Logan Morrison – 2-for-5, now hitting .400 in the last 7 games. This is just my weekly check-in to say Morrison’s hitting for everything but power and the power will come.
Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-3 with 2 steals. The Rockies announced that Young will be playing every day and hitting leadoff. That’s an immediate add across the board where you need steals from a middle infielder, which I imagine is just about everyone.
Jhoulys Chacin – 5 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks. He looked rusty then he got nailed. I’d give Chacin another chance or at least hold him for another start on your bench. Or you can just grab…
Daniel Hudson – 7 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners (zero walks), 10 Ks. Now has a 2.12 ERA in four starts since joining the Diamondbacks and 41 Ks in 45 1/3 innings. In his upcoming starts, he’ll get the Rockies in Arizona, Giants, Astros and Giants again. Looks good to me.
Will Venable – Member last week when I mentioned Venable in the SAGNOF post about cheap guys who can give steals? No? I don’t really either. Neverthehoo! Venable has 3 steals in his last two games and 5 in the last ten games.
Randy Wells – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks. Wells’ last four starts have gone like this… Quality start, 6 earned runs in 5 innings, quality start, 6 earned runs in 4 innings. So that leads to… Ooh, Wells pitched great, I’m going to grab him. Then you put him in for the 6 earned run game. Dah!!! So you bench him for his next quality start. Then you think he’s fine and you put him back in there for the next shellacking. Wells hates you. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Matt Garza – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 10 Ks. Another extravaGarza! He’s been a rich man’s Wells for the last month as he alternates good and bad starts, as well.
Wilton Lopez – Astros’ General Mills said before yesterday’s game that Brandon Lyon would be the closer moving forward. Naturally, Wilton Lopez gets the save. Lopez hasn’t been bad this year and might get some saves here and there. Brandon Lyon would still be my pickup if I were vulturing for saves.
Hunter Pence – 2-for-4 with 2 homers. I feel like I haven’t talked much about Pence this year, but he’s been a solid #3 fantasy outfielder. 18 homers, 15 steals while batting .287. I’ve seen shabbier. Oh, and he’s hitting .455 over the last week.
Jim Thome – 3-for-5 and his 4th homer in the last week. He could retire, return at 50 years old and still hit 20 homers. If he didn’t have to walk back and forth to the plate, he’d probably hit 25 homers. All that walking is for young folk.
Colby Rasmus – Out with a calf strain, won’t be back until Friday. La Russa must be terribly upset about that strained calf. Hopefully PETA talks him down.
