Fantasy Baseball Advice

With the 2008 rankings in the books — yo it’s in the books, ya’ll! — we set our eyes on the top free agents during this 2008 offseason. First we look at some hitter free agents and how they might be affected for fantasy baseball purposes. This won’t be a list of all the free agent hitters. If you want that, it’s here. This is just a list of some of the bigger free agent hitters that I feel like discussing and how their free agency may affect them for 2009. Also, this list won’t mention any guys that are potentially moving this offseason via trade. I hear Billy Butler might be traded so that might affect his 2009, but he won’t be mentioned here, except, ya know, right there where I just mentioned him. Anyway, here’s the top 2008 free agents, the hitters’ edition:

Manny Ramirez - His move from the hitter’s park of Fenway to the pitcher’s park of Dodgers Stadium showed that wherever he ends up, he can hit.  I’m more worried about motivation for Manny in 2009.  Depending on the scope of the deal he eventually lands, he may phone-in the rest of his career. Yo, career, this is Manny. I’m not playing today. I’m IM’ing with Big Papi. Say hello to your mother for me.

Mark Teixeira - The lineup Teixeira ends up in could have a factor on his 2009 production, but Teixeira flip-flops leagues and hits fine — just not as much as he supposedly can. I say “supposedly can” because somewhere along the line he was labeled a 45 home run guy. He’s not a 45 home run guy, unless he goes to Coors.

Milton Bradley - He was in a great hitter’s park in 2008 — See 2005 and 2006 Teixeira — and Bradley’s an injury flake. Don’t let a Major League team overpaying this offseason for Bradley convince you you need him on your fantasy team. Sorry, Milton Bradley is not fun for all ages.

Pat Burrell - Be interesting to see the Mets make a run for Pat the Bat just so they can avoid facing him. Burrell will potentially lose a few home runs with a move, but he’s 30/95/.250 hitter just about everywhere — for at least another couple of years.

Bobby Abreu - If he goes to, say, the Mariners — yuck. If Abreu goes to the Padres — yuck with two sides of blech. Leaving the Yankees could hurt Abreu’s value. If you’re considering keeping him, you need to keep this in mind.

Is there another pitcher that tantalizes more than Chad Billingsley? 13Ks in 7 IP against the Marlins to earn his 9th win. His 135 K’s are tied with Lincecum for the major league lead - a couple more than guys like Volquez and Sabathia. Why is someone so unhittable not an elite pitcher yet? Because he’s still hanging out too much with Motley Crue on the Sunset Strip - as in he likes to take a ride on the Wild Side w/ his 4+ BB per 9 IP. Yes, we’ve managed a hip-hop and hair band music references in one post. We’re well-rounded like that. (If we were celebrities, we’d so beat Reege on Celebrity Jeopardy! and give all the money to anyone who lives in a bubble. Cause really is there anything worse? You’re in a freakin’ bubble! How is this not the number one charity on every celebrity gameshow? BTW, if you live in a bubble, do you have to dust? We have to know!) While Rudy is still patting himself on the back for getting him a couple starts back for a still healthy Matt Capps, the window is near closed to pick up as good a dark horse for NL 2nd half Cy Young as you’re going to find. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Takashi Saito - Came out of Saturday’s game with elbow pain. Time for some math, ya’ll — Pitcher + elbow pain = Broxton closer for at least two weeks as Saito hits the DL.

Jhonny Peralta - He was so insulted by our lumping him in with fellow extraneous H Khalil Greene that he finishes the half with a flourish — 11-for-30 / 7R / 4 HR / 12 RBI in his last 7 games.

A.J. Burnett - The #1 crazy hot chick in baseball. Today against the Yanks, hot. Next start, pretending to be pregnant so you can’t watch football. Worth the gamble if you need K’s or agita.

Kevin Youlikis - Left the game after being hit by a Daniel Cabrera fastball. Youch. The tragic part. Cabrera was trying to throw a pitchout.

Hanley Ramirez/Carl Crawford - Sat because of a sore shoulder and a sore hamstring respectively. Don’t be too concerned; this is like Senior Day in the majors. I hear they’re all meeting at The Max then going to TP Mr. Beldings’.

Mike Gonzalez - Kazaam!

Jorge Campillo - On my cursed ‘pert team (Rich Hill, Harang and Wainwright), I had Campillo. He pitched well then fouled a ball off his foot in the sixth. Hopefully he’ll be all right. Otherwise, I’m going for Charlie Morton. You’ve been warned.

CC Sabathia - CG, 9Ks, 2 ER. Seems to be a good fit in Milwaukee. Schmiel, Schmazzle, Hossenfeffer Incorporated…ba pa ba pa ba ba pa…they’re gonna do it….CC and Prince sharing a carefree ride on a tandem bicycle, CC blowing a bubble with sausage casing at a bratwurst factory and sticking it on top of a brat….

Tim Lincecum - 8 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks, now has a 11-2 record. Somehow the Giants are ahead of both the Padres and Rockies right now. Wow. I’m not sure if that’s more a compliment to Lincecum or a kick in the nuts to the Padres and Rockies. (BTW, Does a kick in the nuts hurt more or less when you’re a mile high?)

Justin Verlander - Since June 1, 8 starts, 5 Wins, 55 IP, 52 Ks, ERA/WHIP in the 2.70/1.10 area. When Rudy predicted him to win Cy Young, he assumed that Verlander was going to pitch like this and not take April off. Kudos to anyone who picked him up on the cheap.

Jeff Clement - HR yesterday. His .165 AVG shows that Seattle can get the same production from young players that they normally get from high-salaried guys like Sexson, Kenji, and Vidro. Clement’s got upside though…keep him around if you’re in a 2 catcher league. Otherwise, throw him back into the FA pool.

Daisuke Matsuzaka - Dice-K’s now 10-1. I say smoke. You say mirrors. I say smoke. You say mirrors. If you think a .257 BABIP and 5.68 BB/9 IP is unsustainable, say “Regression”….

Jerry Hairston Jr. - Left the game with a right hamstring pull. 1800 miles away, Scott Hairston yelped in pain.

Matt Joyce - 4 HR in 5 games for Detroit. Guess Marcus Thames gave him the HR conch shell. His minor league stats point to power with no speed or great average. Ride him while he’s high, drop him when he starts falling.

Mike Aviles - Three hit game yesterday. He’s at 21/4/21/.310/3 over 58 games. If I’m not wrong, aren’t these numbers pretty yawnstipating? I get more questions about this schmohawk. People got rookie nookie on the brain. Aviles is fine, but he’s not F-I-N-E or winning you any league, unless you’re playing in the “Most Mediocre SS League,” but then you’re probably going to lose to the team with Renteria anyway.

Pat Burrell - HR yesterday. Goes into the All-Star break with 23/57/.275. Is it me or does he run like he’s on a mop pony? It’s like he’s accompanying King Arthur to find the Holy Grail. The 1B coach should have to hit coconuts together when he runs. I’m sure Victorino can supply the coconuts.

Yovanni Gallardo is due to pitch this weekend, so that means Dave Bush could be bumped. Unfortunately, I’m not sure it’s going to work out that way. Here’s the scoop, as the newsies used to say. Manny Parra was just plain wild today. I wish I could blame the home plate umpire, DeMuth, for Manny Parra’s start like I will later blame the home plate ump for Edinson Volquez’s somewhat rocky win. DeMuth is notoriously a hitter’s umpire, but lots of Parra’s pitches weren’t even close. Demuth did not ’squeeze’ Parra. Out of five walks and five hits he gave up to the Cards in 4 innings, Parra was very lucky to get out of it with only three runs earned. This could’ve easily been a five run first and Parra out by the second. What does this mean for Manny Parra going forward? Well, it’s good that Villanueva had a worse start on Wednesday, but you don’t want your future riding on other people’s misfortune (hey, I could write fortune cookies!). Right now, I see Gallardo getting Villanueva’s Monday start, because Villanueva has experience as a reliever. However, if Bush pitches decent and Parra’s bungles his next start, Parra may get bumped. Or Parra may just get sent down. This has the makings of The Pierre Situation™ for pitching. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Edinson Volquez - As I mentioned earlier in regards to umps, Volquez was getting squeezed so much he should press sexual harassment charges (sorry, that sounds like something an ESPN announcer would say). Let’s just say, Volquez didn’t walk in one run by walking Ted Lilly. He struck him out and the ump didn’t call it. He did not walk four batters. Maybe two. (Quick aside, I have a conspiracy theory. I think because MLB had to crack down on steroids, which will hurt offense — and offense puts asses into the seats — MLB had to do something to ‘enhance’ the offense. What did they do? They told the umps to shrink their strike zone. I have no proof of this and if you were to hear someone saying this in a bar, you’d probably roll your eyes and walk away. But I digress.)

Joey Votto - I know Dusty gets no love in the United States of The Blogosphere, but he’s playing Votto.

Pat Burrell - Burl, not Bur-rell, went to college with my girlfriend and slept with one of her friends. That will never get old! (Unless, of course, I find out her ‘friend’ was her, then I might vomit. And breakup with her. While vomiting. Anyway…) Burrell will hit 35 home runs, but I’d try and trade him, except in leagues that count OBP.

Joe Crede - “You can put it on the booooard… YES!” Harrelson’s a doucebag. Oh, and send my regards to Josh Fields.

Franklin Gutierrez - And you thought you’d never have to hear about him again. He turned on a Verlander fastball and sent it down the line for a double. Two days ago, two steals. Today, two hits. Cust kayin’.

Justin Verlander - Rudy’s pick for Cy Young doesn’t look so good. (My pick’s on the DL, sweet!) If it wasn’t for Peralta grounding into a double play with the bases loaded in the first inning, Verlander’s line would look much worse. Verlander was the one AL pitcher in the first tier, I actually considered drafted (I didn’t, but I considered it). Well, I’m sure some pundit is breaking down how Verlander’s curve has flattened because the tilt of his elbow has changed from 42° to 48°. Well, whatever, brainiac. I would not trade for him or trade him away (same with Sabathia). Unfortunately, you need to take a wait and see approach.

Fausto Carmona - I also don’t have him on any team, but he’s continuing what he started last year. Low Ks, okay WHIP, keeping his team in it for a win. He also got his control back after his last start, which is a good sign. Maybe last time out it was too much Cristal after signing that big contract.

Prince Fielder - Gathering all his strength from his inner veggie burger, he went deep. Take that meat lover’s! BTW, I see 45 homers more on the way.

Eric Gagne - I inexplicably left him off this week’s closer look. Probably because he looked good last week. He’s still a ticking bomb. A big, ex-steroid-taking, ticking bomb.

Ryan Zimmerman - I avoided him like the plague in drafts and I wish I could assuage (Word of the Day, May 23rd, 1999) your fears, but I can’t. I don’t see him having a good season. Someone might. I would trade him.

Carlos Quentin - Maybe it’s his good eye, but I love Carlos Quentin, have for a long time. If I wasn’t soooo busy with the Alex Gordon Fan Club, I’d totally start a Quentin one. Anyhoo, he’s getting his at-bats. I would grab him if you had room. Oh, and start the blog GreyLovesQuentin.com, I’ll guest post, if you’ll have me.

Nick Markakis - Three homers, four steals. To start a fire, you need a sparkakis!

Bobby Jenks - I’m no more worried about him today than I was yesterday. Which is to say, I have Dotel on one team.

Jake Peavy and Jeff Francis - Both pitched extremely well. I think I could throw quality start in Petco.

John Lannan - Before you get any ideas, he had 16 Ks in over 45 innings up until tonight. Blip on the radar.

Melky Cabrera - Considering I took him with the 283rd pick in my ‘pert league, I’d say I’m getting value. Are you?