Fantasy Baseball Advice

In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss trading for closers.  Now before people think my battleship has sunk, I’m not saying to pay top dollar for closers.  But with us heading into July, it should be pretty clear how badly you need saves.  Luckily, saves are one of the categories (steals are another) where you can make up ground quickfast.  If you’re ten or more saves behind a pack of people and can gain three or more points with an additional closer or two, then you should be thinking about trading for a couple.   I’d look to trade one player from your strengths for two closers.  Think Shields for two donkey-corns.  Or a donkey-corn and a brain freeze.  It really depends on your strengths and weaknesses.  And since saves do come in bunches, if you’re finding yourself picking up plenty of ground in saves, then in August, you can trade away a closer or two for a different piece.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Jonathan Broxton (Ronald Belisario, Ramon Troncoso, Cory Wade)
2. Francisco Rodriguez (Pedro Feliciano, Bobby Parnell)
3. Joe Nathan (Matt Guerrier, Jose Mijares)
4. Jonathan Papelbon (Takashi Saito, Hideki Okajima, Manny Delcarmen)

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

5. Heath Bell (Edward Mujica)
6. Mariano Rivera (+1) (Brian Bruney, Alfredo Aceves)
7. Bobby Jenks (-1) (Octavio Dotel, Matt Thornton, Scott Linebrink)
8. Francisco Cordero (David Weathers, Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset)
9. Brian Fuentes (+2) (Darren Oliver, Justin Speier)
10. Ryan Franklin (+2) (Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan, Dennys Reyes)
11. Andrew Bailey (+16) (Brad Ziegler, Michael Wuertz, Santiago Casilla)
12. David Aardsma (+12) (Sean White, Mark Lowe, Chad Cordero)
13. Brian Wilson (+2) (Jeremy Affeldt, Bob Howry)
14. Huston Street (+6) (Joel Peralta, Manny Corpas)
15. Kevin Gregg (-1) (Carlos Marmol)
16. Fernando Rodney (+2) (Joel Zumaya, Bobby Seay)
17. George Sherrill (+5) (Jim Johnson, Danys Baez, Chris Ray)
18. Brad Lidge (-8) (Ryan Madson)
19. Mike Gonzalez (-2) (Rafael Soriano)
20. Jose Valverde (+8) (LaTroy Hawkins, Chris Sampson)
21. Joakim Soria (+4) (Juan Cruz, Jamey Wright, Kyle Farnsworth)
22. J.P. Howell (+8) (Dan Wheeler, Grant Balfour, Joe Nelson)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Troy Percival– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Pena in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

23. Trevor Hoffman (-1) (Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey, Mitch Stetter)
24. Frank Francisco (-14) (C.J. Wilson)
25. Kerry Wood (-8) (Chris Perez, Rafael Betancourt)
26. Matt Capps (-2) (John Grabow, Jesse Chavez, Sean Burnett)
27. Jason Frasor (-8) (Scott Downs, B.J. Ryan)
28. Chad Qualls (-15) (Tony Pena, Clay Zavada, Jon Rauch)
29. Mike MacDougal (Joe Beimel, Julian Tavarez)
30. Leo Nunez (-4) (Dan Meyer, Matt Lindstrom, Kiko Calero, Waco My Airplane)

In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss the value of middle relievers.  I’m a big Mr. B.  Depending on the team, I have various combinations of MRs.  On one team, I have C.J. Wilson still.  (Notched a Save and a Win in a doubleheader the other day — natch!)  On another team, I’m rocking Dan Meyer.  On another, Rafael Soriano.  Besides having a guy that could take over the closing duties, middle relievers help lower your starters’ ratios.  Mark DiFelice + James Shields = 7-4/3.01/1.15/74 or Jake Peavy, 5-5/3.67/1.13/84.  That’s right, the Frankenpitcher of Jark DiShields is beating the pure breed Jake Peavy.  So how’s dem apples?  Delicious!  Now in some cases, you just can’t hold a MR.  Whether you’re besieged by injuries, need to handcuff one of your closers or need a bench hitter, sometimes it’s just not feasible.  As much as I like MRs, they are invariably the first ones I drop on my teams when I need help somewhere else.  Luckily, there’s always one available on waivers.  If it’s not Jark DiShields, you can own Kiko Garzero or C.J. Wolfson.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Jonathan Broxton (+3) (Ronald Belisario, Cory Wade)
2. Francisco Rodriguez (+2) (J.J. Putz)
3. Joe Nathan (-2) (Matt Guerrier, Jose Mijares)
4. Jonathan Papelbon (-2) (Takashi Saito, Manny Delcarmen, Hideki Okajima)

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

5. Heath Bell (+3) (Greg Burke, Edward Mujica, Luke Gregerson)
6. Bobby Jenks (-1) (Octavio Dotel, Matt Thornton, Scott Linebrink)
7. Mariano Rivera (Alfredo Aceves, Brian Bruney, Damaso Marte)
8. Francisco Cordero (+3) (David Weathers, Arthur Rhodes, Nick Masset)
9. Frank Francisco (C.J. Wilson)
10. Brad Lidge (-4) (Ryan Madson)
11. Brian Fuentes (+1) (Jose Arredondo, Scot Shields)
12. Ryan Franklin (+4) (Jason Motte, Chris Perez, Kyle McClellan)
13. Chad Qualls (-3) (Jon Rauch, Tony Pena, Clay Zavada)
14. Kevin Gregg (Carlos Marmol)
15. Brian Wilson (Jeremy Affeldt, Bob Howry)
16. Kerry Wood (-3) (Jensen Lewis, Rafael Perez, Rafael Betancourt)
17. Mike Gonzalez (Rafael Soriano)
18. Fernando Rodney (Joel Zumaya, Ryan Perry, Brandon Lyon)
19. Scott Downs (+7)  (B.J. Ryan, Jason Frasor)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Troy Percival– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Pena in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

20. Huston Street (+2) (Manny Corpas)
21. Trevor Hoffman (Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey, Mark DiFelice)
22. George Sherrill (+7) (Jim Johnson, Danys, Baez, Chris Ray)
23. Matt Capps (-3) (John Grabow, Jesse Chavez, Tyler Yates)
24. David Aardsma (Brandon Morrow, Miguel Batista, Chad Cordero)
25. Joakim Soria (+3) (Juan Cruz, Jamey Wright, Kyle Farnsworth)
26. Matt Lindstrom (-7) (Leo Nunez, Kiko Calero, Dan Meyer)
27. Andrew Bailey (Brad Ziegler, Michael Wuertz, Santiago Casilla)
28. LaTroy Hawkins (-3) (Jose Valverde)
29. Joel Hanrahan (+1) (Kip Wells, Julian Tavarez)
30. J.P. Wheelfourson (-7) (Randy Choate, The Amazing Rando, Randy Jackson)

In this month’s closer look, let’s discuss some closer trading strategy.  As I mentioned the other day, I traded Street and some other closer for Haren.  This might’ve put me at a disadvantage for saves.  Now you’re probably thinking what the eff?  This doode doesn’t even know who he traded or if it put his team at a disadvantage for saves.  Well, that’s the whole point.  Saves are the easiest commodity to acquire on waivers.  Just last month, 10 closers lost their jobs, even if just temporarily.  10 out of 30 closers.  So, frankly, I don’t care if I’m trading Qualls, Bell or schmohawk closer behind door number 3.  Are some of these guys more reliable than others?  Sure, but that doesn’t mean Jenks couldn’t have a meltdown tomorrow.  They’re just closers.  As for not knowing if I’m at a disadvantage, it’s real early and plenty more saves will come into the league.  Not that many more Harens are coming into the league.  Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:

$12 Salads

You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Every time you go there, you have a thoroughly solid meal. No complaints, except you just paid $12 for a salad when you could’ve went to McDonald’s and stuffed you and your woman for ten schmools and had $2 in quarters left over to make the hotel bed vibrate. These closers are $12 salads.

1. Joe Nathan (Jesse Crain)
2. Jonathan Papelbon (Takashi Saito, Hideki Okajima)
3. Jonathan Broxton (+4) (Hong-Chih Kuo, Cory Wade)
4. Francisco Rodriguez (+1) (J.J. Putz)
5. Bobby Jenks (+3) (Octavio Dotel, Matt Thornton, Scott Linebrink)

Donkey-corns

Imagine you’re following a donkey, who’s wearing a wool cap, through a desert for 1700 miles. Why are you following a donkey? Because he promises you something wonderful and you just need to trust him. Does the donkey talk? Yes. Yes, he does talk. So when you and the donkey in the wool cap arrive at his destination, he removes his the wool cap to reveal a horn. The donkey is a unicorn and his gift to you for your trust is saves. These closers are Donkey-corns.

6. Brad Lidge (-2) (Ryan Madson)
7. Mariano Rivera (-2) (Jonathan Albaladejo, Brian Bruney, Damaso Marte)
8. Heath Bell (+3) (Mike Adams)
9. Frank Francisco (+5) (C.J. Wilson)
10. Chad Qualls (Jon Rauch, Tony Pena)
11. Francisco Cordero (+4) (David Weathers, Jared Burton)
12. Brian Fuentes (Jose Arredondo, Scot Shields)
13. Kerry Wood (-5) (Jensen Lewis, Rafael Perez, Rafael Betancourt)
14. Kevin Gregg (-1) (Carlos Marmol)
15. Brian Wilson (+4) (Jeremy Affeldt, Bob Howry)
16. Ryan Franklin (+9) (Chris Perez, Jason Motte, Kyle McClellan)
17. Mike Gonzalez (Rafael Soriano)
18. Fernando Rodney (+11) (Joel Zumaya, Ryan Perry, Brandon Lyon)
19. Matt Lindstrom (+2) (Leo Nunez, Scott Proctor)

Brain Freeze

I’m going on a picnic and I’m bringing apples, bananas and Troy Percival– Wait, he just gave up 12 earned runs and hit Pena in the head with a pickoff throw. Brain freeze! Make it stop! Use the following closers at your own risk.

20. Matt Capps (-5) (John Grabow)
21. Trevor Hoffman (+7) (Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey, David Riske)
22. Huston Street (Manny Corpas)
23. Troy Percival (Dan Wheeler, Grant Balfour)
24. Brandon Morrow (+3) (David Aardsma, Miguel Batista, Chad Cordero)
25. LaTroy Hawkins (-15) (Jose Valverde)
26. Scott Downs (B.J. Ryan, Jason Frasor)
27. Andrew Bailey (-9) (Brad Ziegler, Michael Wuertz, Santiago Casilla)
28. Juan Cruz (-11) (Joakim Soria, Jamey Wright, Kyle Farnsworth)
29. George Sherrill/Chris Ray/Jim Johnson (-1)
30. Kip Wells/Joel Hanrahan (-9) (Julian Tavarez, Saul Rivera, Natalie from The Facts of Life)

Chris Davis has 42 Ks in 88 ABs.  That’s a pace of about 300 Ks.  Not sure he gets there, but Mark Reynolds should be worried about his strikeout record.  Back when I called Chris Davis a poor man’s Mark Reynolds, everyone and there’s Momma’s boyfriend wanted some Davis action.  Back in June of 2008, when Davis was called up, I said, “(It) doesn’t mean he will strikeout 250 times and hit 50 HRs, but it gives you a bit of an idea of what kind of player he is.”  Actually, he may strikeout 250 times.  And that’s me quoting me linking to me and correcting me!  I’m not saying any of this to push people to trade him away, but I think a lot of people thought they were getting a .300 hitter in Davis.  He’s not.  Average is a bit of a fluky thing, but, with the way Davis is striking out, he’s looking like a .240-.250 hitter.  I still think as the weather heats up the homers will be flying, but check your expectations.  Anyway, here’s what we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Grady Sizemore – Sizemore got caught stealing for the 4th time yesterday in 9 tries.  Last year he only was caught 5 times out of 44 tries.  Grady hasn’t had this much trouble getting to 2nd base since he was a sophomore in high school and was still being ridiculed as Gravy Friesmore. The Cleveland GM Mark Shapiro is one of the more analytical GMs out there – don’t be surprised if they pull the reins in on ol’ Grady, unless he shows he can steal at a 70+% clip.

Eric Bedard – Rudy said this yesterday morning, “Yeah, the Rangers are a bitch to face even when they’re on the road.  That said, you shouldn’t bench Bedard.  Against the Rangers, he’s good for 7+ Ks”.   Rudy must have a way with Canadians because Bedard delivered 7 IP and 7 Ks.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – Grand slam yesterday.  Again, this is why you just put a catcher in there and slowly back away.

Nelson Cruz – 3-for-5, 7th homer.  As I’ve said before, I don’t think it stops.

Kenshin Kawakami – He was dropped in my 16 team league.  And he stayed on waivers.  Sometimes the most significant action is the one not taken. – Grey Albright.  (But he might be cribbing that quote and just doesn’t remember.  He’s also talking in 3rd person right now.)

Felipe Lopez – Day-to-day with a sore ankle.  Hmm… Felimpy?

Julian Tavarez – 1/3 IP, 3 ER. Yeah, I’m done with Tavarez.  He can save the next 20 games for the Nats (which would take him to about September) and I’m not picking him up again.  Hanrahananan, who also wasn’t great yesterday, might get another shot, but, like most Nats pitchers, if they’re not pitching, they’re the most valuable so Beimel’s looking the best right now.

Jorge Posada – On the DL with a sore hamstring.  Posada was heavily discounted in many drafts this year with the assumption he’d miss a lot of time.  Figure you drafted him thinking he’d get 4-6 weeks vacation.  This is just part of the employment package for a 36-year old catcher…

B.J. Upton – 1-for-4, bringing him to .157 on the season with no homers and 4 RBIs.  Yeah, that’s terrible.  We wouldn’t be surprised if Joe Maddon shot his shoulder up with cortisone next time he gave him an encouraging pat.

Emmanuel Burriss – Webster stole his 8th base yesterday.  It’s not pretty, but it’s three more than Jose Reyes.

Alberto Callaspo – HR yesterday, hitting .379 through 80+ ABs.  This is why I was annoyed last year when the Royals were playing Grudzielanek. (Yes, I needed to look up the spelling.  Cut me some slack!)  So who or what is this Callaspo?  He’s a light power and speed middle infielder who should have a decent average.  Say Callaspolanco.

Roy Oswalt – Bruised finger forced him out of the game.  Said to be day-to-day.  He better have an excuse for giving up all of those runs to the Nats.

Gavin Floyd/Kyle Davies – 5 IP, 6 ER and 4 IP, 6 ER, respectively.  Hope everyone’s already chucked these two turd sandwiches.

Joba Chamberlain – 5 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 12 Ks.  It didn’t start pretty, but it sure did end up that way. With 12 of the last 14 outs coming on strikeouts.

Max Scherzer – Going from Joba to Jobacum, Scherzer threw 6 innings and gave up 2 earned, but he will never win a game.

Jeff Weaver – 5 IP, 1 ER.  Outpitched Scherzer, or did he?  I think Jered Weaver pulled the ol’ Alex P. Keaton tie switching trick and pitched for his big bro.

Brad Ziegler – Pitched a perfect inning of relief yesterday.  Oh, well.  I was looking forward to the TV movie of the week with Freddie Prinze Jr. documenting Ziegler’s “flu.”

Josh Greer/Aaron Cook – Both pitched 8 innings, gave up five hits and one run apiece.  According to Elias Sports Bureau, this is the first time two pitchers had near-identical pitching lines.  Actually, they didn’t say that.  But heard in the Elias Sports Bureau office last week was, “For the first time in over a year, Bill in accounting didn’t purposely staple his finger to get out of a board meeting. Instead, he chose to slam his hand into a filing cabinet.”

George Sherrill – The Orioles have been seeking consistency in their pitching and now they have it as their bullpen is as unreliable as their starters. The O’s said they were going to a closer by committee. To get on this closerousel, you need Sherrill, Ray, Johnson and Baez, in that order.

Edinson Volquez – 8 IP, 0 ER.  Against a young, free swinging team, Volquez is your man.  And he still walked four.  As for WWDD?  Or “What Would Dusty Do?”  After the 7th inning, Volquez had already thrown 100 pitches.  Do you bring him out for the 8th inning in a blowout?  Of course Dusty Do!

Adam Wainwright – 5 IP, 7 ER.  He avoided the wrath of Ibanez, Howard, and Utley (not in the lineup) but couldn’t stop the Flyin’ Hawaiian (HR, 3 RBI ) or J-Werth (HR, 4 RBI ).  Still, Wainwright is a must-start everywhere except maybe COL or until LaRussa makes an everyday player out of him.

Curtis Granderson – 9th HR yesterday.  Well, la di da!  Wasn’t he supposed to do this shizz last year?  Guess he never got the memo.  I blame the messenger.

Rick Porcello – 7 IP, 0 ER.  Was a good matchup for him and he’s good for matchups, so there’s that.

Maggilio Ordonez – Batting .232 on the season.  If Ordonez gets hurt, they should replace him with a guy whose last name is Derson.  Then they can have the Russian Doll Outfield – Granderson, Anderson, Derson.

After a great first week (3 HR, 5 RBI), Troy Tulowitzki has done a whole lot of nothing. From 4/12 to 4/29, 0 HR and 0 RBI. He’s K-ing in 28% of his ABs, almost double his career rate.  He’s now sporting a .200 AVG for the year. He got ‘benched’ for a game in favor of Clint Barmes.  So what’s the silver lining?  First and foremost, Tulo is a slow starter.  Unlike Robby Cano and LaRoche Sr., he lived up to his historically poor form.  In 2007-2008, he hit .197 over 187 April ABs.  When his K goes back to his normal 15% and the BABIP pendulum swings at least a little to the middle (at .225 right now), the AVG will take care of itself.  He’s too young and Colorado is too elevated to think he can’t get 20+ HRs if he stays healthy all year.  Once the weather starts heating up, expect Tulo to heat up as well.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy and sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Lance Berkman – He’s batting .162.  I think owners might fear Berkman’s too old or it’s one of those years when he just sucks.  There’s no way his average stays that low, so we’re looking at a major correction for a career .300 hitter.  Think of a .400 June.  That’s hawt!

Brandon Phillips – Like my hair during the heyday of Vanilla Ice, Phillips is streaky (with blonde highlights!).  Phillips will go a month where he’s dreadful.  April was one of those months.  He can just as easily hit .290 in May and hit 5 HRs and get 7 steals.  Check raise to the bettor, snitches!

Phil Hughes – It’s Phil of the Future… Finally, now.  Maybe.  But it’s worth a flier to find out.

Chad Gaudin – He’s in Petco?  Yes, please.

Eric Patterson – His family originates from Patterson, NJ and when Eric was born in Holy Oak Hospital they looked out the window and saw a passing bus with a man they thought was Eric Roberts driving said bus.  It wasn’t, but they liked the name.  Oh, and Eric Patterson can steal.

Ryan Madson – Whether Lidge goes to the DL or not, Madson can be owned.  If Lidge goes to the DL, Madson should be owned.

Julian Tavarez – SAGNOF!

Joe Beimel – Only if you have room on your DL.  Don’t load up on Nats relievers, they’re bad for your complexion.

Kendry Morales – When I wrote a sleeper post two months ago about this guy I was widely ignored.  And I will probably be ignored again.  He’s kind of like Mike Jacobs with less power but a better average.  Enticing!

Andruw Jones – I really don’t trust this guy to keep the bottom from falling out, but if you get a good week or two from him, whatevs.

Adam Rosales – Who knows how long Edwin’s going to be out?  You a doctor?  Nah, me either.  Though I did help deliver Eric Patterson and that was Eric Roberts driving that bus!  Rosales should be owned in NL-Only leagues.

Brett Cecil – Okay, the newest rookie pitcher to add in leagues deeper than 10 team mixed.  Cecil may do a lot of nothing in this promotion, so I’d bench him for his first start.  Why pickup a pitcher to bench, you ponder internally.  Here’s the thing, and it’s the same reason I told you to grab Holland last week, if a rookie pitcher explodes on the scene, you want to own him.  And a lot of times a rookie pitcher will come on like a comet burning brightly for a couple of starts.  (Cueto’s first two starts last year: 13 1/3 IP, 18 Ks, 3 ER, 0 Walks)  But, like a comet, his fire will probably burn out quickly when the league catches up to him.  Then hot rookie callup pitcher will go into a correction period, lasting a few months.  Now, while the whole world’s set ablaze with him, you can flip him for a junky closer.  School’s out, Alice Cooper.

Carlos Quentin – You probably think I’m dropping ‘ludes putting Quentin on the Buy list when he’s already sitting on 8 HRs.  Could he get better?  Yeppers!  Right now, Quentin’s sporting a very low BABIP, which means he’s been unlucky.  May could be even better.

Huston Street -  The horsies go up and down as the Rockies closer carousel continues to spin.  Put on one of those faded leather seatbelts that smells like baby vomit and get on.

Matt LaPorta – It’s a renaissance for guys with a capitalized letter in the middle of their last name — LaPorta, LaRoche, LaSagna.

SELL

Matt Holliday – Sorry, but you shouldn’t have bought him to begin with.

Kosuke Fukudome – Don’t drop him, but if you think he’s going to be productive all year, you’re mistaken.  Not mistaken like, “What Adam’s Apple?”  But mistaken nevertheless.

Fred Lewis – Maybe beans do burn on the grill.  Lewis is batting near .300 with 1 RBI and 1 steal.  Those are “Grandpa” Al Lewis levels of production.

Kelly Johnson – Johnson seems to always flirt with being benched for some also-ran, this month it’s Omar Baby.  Then Johnson always seems to come back in a month or two and hit the cover off the ball.  Happens every year.  Chuck KJ for now in 12 team mixed leagues or shallower, and come back to him when he’s hot. (BTW, how cool would it be if your name was Chuck KJ?  That’s it.  No last name.  Not short for Charles.  Just Chuck KJ.  Splash on a bottle of Drakkar, hit the bar and get laid.  Why?  Cause you’re Chuck KJ!)