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First the Vernon Wells sleeper post (hahahahahahaha — terrible), then the Alex Rios sleeper post (hahahahahahahaha – worse), now a Kevin Youkilis sleeper post…. Seriously, am I getting old here?  What the eff in the effhole?  Where’s my youth love?  My rookie nookie!  I blame ESPN and the rest of the schmohawks out there in Internet land.  Why does ESPN rank Youuuuuuk in the 2nd round last year <italics for emphasis>for them<italics for emphasis> and now he’s 100?  I get that he had a bad year, but he’s done?  Just like that?  Fork’s in him?  How is he being drafted in the 80′s of mock drafts?  I understand he’s injury prone, but everyone’s done with The Greek God Of Limps?  I have a lot of questions.  So what makes Kevin Youkilis a 2012 fantasy baseball sleeper?

Okay, for the first question.  Am I getting old?  What the eff in the effhole?  Second question first, the effhole, located next to the gee-hole, has eff in it, there’s no two ways about it.  Now the first question about age.  Well, I’m not getting younger, but I’m just pointing out where the market is incorrectly valuing someone.  If the market incorrectly valued Brett Lawrie, I’d tell you to get all over him.  The entire world is already all over him.  I’m gonna be some stunod and tell you Lawrie is a sleeper.  He’s not.  It’s like telling you Apple is a popular company.  Maybe ESPN would tell you that.  I’m not going to.  Last year, I told you Youuuuuuk was overrated.  This year, not so much.  I can’t help it.  I’m just looking at the market.  Okay, next question.  Where’s my youth love?  I have it.  I love Lawrie, Jennings, Kershaw, Strasburg, Stanton… Oh God, do I love Stanton.  I LOVE STANTON SO MUCH!  Okay, Al Caps, chill.  DON’T EVER ASK ME TO CHILL MY STANTON LOVE.  Okay, fine.  THANKS, SO HOW’S THINGS?  I need to get back to the post.  RIIIIIGHT.  Those guys are young.  Everyone knows about them.  I can’t echo what everyone is telling you.  It’s boring.  Next question:  Why does ESPN rank Youuuuuuk in the 2nd round last year <italics for emphasis>for them<italics for emphasis> and now he’s ranked 100?  Because ESPN is basically scared of you.  They tell you exactly what you want to hear.  Last year they screamed from Mt. Bristol that Martin Prado was the best thing since the world invented things.  Yeah, because Prado had just came off a career year and they knew you’d want that told back to you.  You need to be told when someone has a career year?  I’m still in shock how many people wanted me to tell them Ian Kennedy was good last year so he’ll be good this year.  ESPN knows this.  They play to this.  Hey, Granderson was good in 2011, draft him this year!  Wow, revolutionary, Che Berry.  That takes about as much a limb as the broad from Boxing Helena.   ESPN ranks Youuuuuuk 100th overall and says, “While the injury risk is still quite prevalent, when he is on the field, Youkilis should perform at his customary levels, a threat to hit .300 with 20-something homers.”  That’s the same thing he was last year, but a year older.  So you don’t draft him 40th overall, but he’s also not 100th.  Next question, which will be a three-for-one, I get that Youuuuuuk had a bad year, but he’s done?  Just like that?  Fork’s in him?  No, it was a tough year.  He had hernia surgery, which gave me the willies just typing.  It wasn’t like he’s a pitcher with a shoulder injury.  Next question:  How is he being drafted in the 80′s of drafts?  Cause people have a short term memory.  3rd base isn’t pretty this year.  If you have a corner infidel spot or missed out on a top 3rd baseman, I’d love to get Youuuuuuk 80 picks in.  Finally:  I understand he’s injury prone, but everyone’s done with The Greek God Of Limps?  I’m not.  Cough once if you like Youuuuuuk 8 rounds into a draft, cough twice if you see why Youuuuuuk is now a sleeper, cough three times if you have the flu.

61 Responses

  1. mauledbypandas says:
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    hah, you wrote this like you were on the biggest caffeine high! Agree though, Youuuuuuuuuk is a Yuuuuuuuuuuup this year!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @mauledbypandas, Was it caffeine? I mean, it was!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Steve, At first I just looked at the picture and thought Tom Brady and Youk got engaged. Weird they don’t have a pic of her.

      • Steve says:
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        @Grey, I wouldn’t say she’s hot, but then Youk’s no oil painting either.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Steve, You gonna make me Google it?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              @Steve, Eh, a little Bradyish in the eyes, but not terrible.

              • Steve says:
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                @Grey, I’m assuming that Youk realises that Giselle and the $20 million house doesn’t come as part of the deal.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  @Steve, I’m sure Youk does all right for himself with $. What I wonder is does he have Tom and Giselle over for Hanukkah? Cause that I’d like to see.

                  • Steve says:
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                    @Grey, Ah, now you’re straying into cultural ground with which I am not familiar.

                    I wonder what would have happened if Youk had ended up on the A’s, like Beane wanted.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      @Steve, No championships and 10 less career homers is my guess. Oh, you mean for the girl situation! He would’ve married Al Davis granddaughter, who probably looks like a young Marge Schott.

                    • Steve says:
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                      @Grey, If you check Youk’s Wiki page, there’s a hilarious quote from Francona.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      @Steve, Took some searching, but I found it… And I’m not talking just about the quote.

                    • Steve says:
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                      @Grey, ?

  2. Van Hammersly says:
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    Love this Grey. I was able to get Youk as a Corner in an ESPN mock earlier this week around pick 100.

    Also love the mini-rant about how ESPN ranks how its readers want it to rank. They also typically rank based on the previous year’s Player Rater. It’s very telling if you look how low they ranked Kemp going into 2011 (based solely on his .250 AVG in 2010). Now, whatdya know? He’s the 2nd guy off the board. The ESPN analcysts have a weird, crappy short-term memory and are oddly biased toward high-AVG, high-steals guys.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Van Hammersly, Yeah, they just tell the masses what they want to hear. Guy has a great year, he goes up. Bad year, down. Yawn.

  3. I have a similar man-crush on Stanton. I have a similar fuzzy feeling the Dreaded Pirate, who rewarded last season when I drafted him. But he could be overvalued this year … maybe.

    As for Youk, there’s lots of value there. Sure, he’s older (but aren’t we all?), but if you’re playing in an OBP league like me, he’s a nice guy to target if you don’t get one of the stronger 3Bs.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Quintilian B. Nasty, Agree…

  4. Hawk says:
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    I hate his goatee.
    I hate that he keeps his hands separated on the bat.
    I hate that he bounces up and down while in his batting stance like he’s a porn chick

    With all that, I still draft him 40-60 overall. ESPN having him at 100 is ridiculous.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Hawk, Yeah, I don’t like watching his stupid face either really, but agreed…

    • kangaroo hops says:
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      @Hawk, I agree with all of this. I’ve never ever had him on a team, and I can’t stand to watch him hit. But I’ll draft him if the price is right.

  5. bushleague avocado says:
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    You know, there is one specific fantasy analyst at espn who is arguing this exact same point about Youk.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @bushleague avocado, Honestly, one other thing that drives me crazy about them? They rank someone crazy low then say he’s a buy. He’s buy when you rank him artificially low. It’s madness.

    • NBH says:
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      @bushleague avocado, Yup – Berry has been complaining that ESPN ranked youk too low. The ESPN rankings are a combination of many people’s rankings. Berry has been saying that a lot of the older veterans coming off of bad years are ranked too low.

  6. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    So you have PEDS and iOS. You’re just a cool acronym making machine. Meanwhile, I’ve got a Grey’s Pitcher Pairings Web Tool… find an acronym in there.

    So do you want this thing now and then you’ll update it (when shizz like Oswalt goes down)? Do you want it now, and then you’ll notify me of any changes to your rankings/auction value, I’ll update it and send you the new files? Let me know.

    How about that Elijah Dukes? Has major league talent ever been squandered so swiftly and thoroughly? Need to get that doode on MTV’s The Challenge to spice things up!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Awesomus Maximus, I think Steve found an acronym. Can you email me the file and then I’ll pepper you with questions?

      • mauledbypandas says:
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        @Grey, make sure you add some butter with that pepper! Wait, what?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Awesomus Maximus, BTW, What did Dukes do now? I didn’t hear….

      • Awesomus Maximus

        Awesomus Maximus says:
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        @Grey, Email and attachment sent. Dukes tried to eat a bag of weed while getting pulled over.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Awesomus Maximus, Him and Lastings should start a rap group.

        • The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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          @Awesomus Maximus, Ha i would love to see that on COPS. The two officers walking up to the car, Dukes ghetto ass sittin in there with weed all in his teeth… classic.

  7. It was the end of the draft and I needed 25 homers – Then it kicked in – Grey had some love for Wells

    Vernon Wells is now my sleeper pick (hahahahahahaha)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mr Baseball, Nice! (I hope.)

  8. Auction Draft – Dave “The Mogul” Hester from storage wars would be hard to beat – YUUP

    • The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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      @Mr Baseball, haha. I’d tape his mouth shut.

  9. Steve says:
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    Braun wins appeal – won’t be suspended.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Steve, Wow, I can’t believe that.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Steve, Wow!

  10. Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:
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    But will Elijah Dukes win his appeal?

  11. Donald Trump says:
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    I laughed out loud at your love-for-Stanton-riff. great stuff.
    Oh, and I have Stanton and Beachy as keepers. Still droolin? Of course.
    Am I a douche? Same answer.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Donald Trump, Ha!

  12. xxxthetoadxxx says:
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    Alright Grey, where do you rank Braun now? No Fielder and off the Herpes meds.

    • Steve says:
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      @xxxthetoadxxx, I imagine Grey is re-writing half of his pre-season material as we speak…

  13. Shin-Soo Choo Choo says:
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    JC Romero wants another hearing.

  14. birrrdy! says:
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    @Grey your analysis of why we should trust Youkillis this year would seemingly apply to why Holliday offers so much comparatve value. Yet you really have not been feeling the Holliday love this year. Intersting article on Rotoauthority on the topic:

    http://www.rotoauthority.com/2012/02/raise-you-a-moth.html

  15. Donald Trump says:
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    I have been meaning to talk to you about this… sure, Berry and ESPN are garbage, agreed. But you mention your disgust with him (el diablo!) almost (i checked, it is more than almost. Go ahead, I’ll wait while you check. Waiting…) daily (how can I not add yet one more ()?). it is a little much. Just some friendly advice from a long time admirer (did I just drop admirer? Oh-no-I-did’nt!).

  16. Po says:
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    Do you see Duda getting enough games at first to get eligibility? We all know Davis should be out until the break since the Mets’ doctors said he “should be good to go”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Po, Probably not, but you never know with Davis.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mr Baseball, Ha!

  17. xxxthetoadxxx says:
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    Stuck with (the best kind of) tough decision now. I must keep 6:
    Bautista
    Votto
    J Upton
    Car Go
    Cano
    Fielder
    Braun

    Hmmm…

  18. Grey

    Grey says:
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    ***THERE’S A NEW POST***

  19. Jay29 says:
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    @Grey, Berry actually has a section in his manifesto article where he says he’ll take Youk over Lawrie, talking about how Youk is flawed but proven whereas Lawrie has only 150 ABs and thus a deeper floor.

  20. Absolutely love the Boxing Helena reference. That movie taught me everything I know about love.

  21. Frank says:
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    Grey,is stanton and youk for a.jones and Zimm in a keeper league where I get the first two a no brainer even though your high on Zimmerman And I’m losing years of top 3b talent.

  22. Ned Shakeshaft says:
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    Well, since you asked, cough-cough-cough.

    Stoopid birds.

    Three sure signs of the Apocalypse:

    1. Canadian/US exchange rate exactly par (check — today)
    2. MLB has PEDs suspension overturned (check — today)
    3. Yoooooouk on my AL-only team (good odds — yeccccch)

  23. jd says:
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    grey man, keeper question for you. i can keep two of the following at the values indicated:
    m kemp ($47)
    j upton ($45)
    p fielder ($49)
    b lawrie ($1)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @jd, Lawrie, Upton… You’ve given me very little info to go on… Take followups to my newest post.

  24. Tony002 says:
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    Grey,

    I have the same feelings about Youk and the thinness at 3B in my AL only league. Read several reports that he is very healthy now. This guy is a machine when healthy. He walks a ton and scores a ton of runs too. Somehow he carries your fantasy team. Definitely keeping the Youk!

    Available in draft:
    Arod, Longoria, Chisenhall, Figgins, Betimit, and Seager.

    T

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