Don't be shellfish...Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+

You just lost the Word Series. Curl up into a ball and cry. Aw, baby’s crying. There’s no crying in fantasy baseball! Actually, there is. Prolly more than in real baseball. I carried a hanky around during every Harang start in 2008. Wait, this is about Longoria. Longoria a keeper? As they say in Fargo, you betcha. He missed two weeks in the beginning of the season because the Rays were dragging their feet, then he missed a month at the end with a broken wrist. I know where your hesitation might lie — the Derrek-Lee-broken-wrist-loss-of-all-power factor. Luckily, Longoria’s wrist injury came in a place that should heal fine and have no lingering effects, according to the Disabled List Informer. The power he displayed when he returned from injury and in the postseason backs this up.  Anyway, here’s some more keepers or players to not keep for your fantasy baseball team in 2009:

KEEP

Joey Devine – People thought Brian Dunkleman and Ryan Seacrest were both necessary. They weren’t. Watch as Devine Seacrests Ziegler. Or will it be Ziegler Dunklemaning Devine? Don’t you hate when your own shizz confuses you? Hmm… Maybe none of that makes sense. Well, as the Talking Heads said, Stop Making Sense. (BTW, this winter will be the winter of Devine. I’m going to push him hard — not literally that would be battery.)

Stephen Drew – Sorry, 2009 will be known as the Winter of Devine and Drew. Can you feel the excitement? I can’t hear you. No, really I can’t. You’re reading and I’m typing. What would I hear?

DON’T KEEP

Brad Ziegler – This shizz will become more clear when 2009 spring training starts, but I highly doubt Ziegler is the closer in 2009. So if you must make a decision right now, don’t keep him. He’s getting Dunkleman’d! Hmm… Still not making sense.

Miguel Tejada – Since I put a young potential SS keeper above, I figured I’d put Te-nada here, although no one’s really even considering keeping this schmohawk. I know that.

  1. 123 says:
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    Since we’re talking keepers, pick 10 from this bunch. At least 2 must be pitchers included.

    Iannetta
    Morneau
    Cano
    Chris Davis
    Reyes
    Alex Gordon
    Kelly Johnson
    Corey Hart
    Victorino
    McLouth
    Delmon Young
    Nelson Cruz

    Peavy
    Hamels
    Kazmir
    Nolasco
    Danks
    Burnett
    Gallardo
    BJ Ryan
    Joey Devine
    Salomon Torres

    I have my own thoughts, but I’d like to here some other opinions.

  2. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @123: Okay, I’m going to assume there’s no penalties for keeping and you can keep them forever.

    Reyes
    McLouth
    Hart
    Morneau
    Young
    Victorino
    Cano
    Gordon

    …Almost in that order for the hitters.

    Peavy
    Hamels

    To be clear, there’s a few guys I like here that I would want to keep in different circumstances, but you have a lot of valuable guys.

  3. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: You guys still here?

    Thought you told me not to keep Devine. Told you he was fine. No worries, my pitching staff is like a fine wine, ok any other cheesy words that rhyme with Devine?

    Spine
    Brine
    Gynecologist, no that won’t work.

  4. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: I told you to keep Hamels over Devine, or someone. I forget, but there was a reason why I said for you to not keep him.

    @BSA: That’s a great comic!

    Happy Halloween, fellas.

    @BigFatHippo: @BSA: What did you guys do? Get dressed up? As what?

  5. BSA says:
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    @Grey: Can you find your favorite Razzball commenter or blogger on halloween 2008?

  6. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Are you saying you are Biz Markie? Cause that would give me the vapors.

  7. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: I stayed home and handed out treats. Till the greedy little neighbor bastards took half my candy, then shut off the porch light and hogged the rest.

  8. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Hehe

    For Halloween, I wore a Hawaiian shirt and necklace of garlic. Can you guess what I was?

  9. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: Shane Victorino in a haunted house?

    I give up.

  10. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Ha! That’s awesome, but no.

    C’mon, you can get it.

  11. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: I’ll need more of a hint than that, just worked 12 hours with no sales help up front. Right hand man on vacay. Lead tech on vacay, had to work both shop and front. My mind is fried, worse than it was in the 80’s.

    Let me see, Count Chocula. See that just doesn’t make sense, Im a blabbering idiot.

  12. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Who’s a singer that wears a Hawaiian shirt? The costume was a pun. No more hints.

  13. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: Don Ho?

    Seriously, I have no clue.

  14. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: Who’s a singer that wears a Hawaiian shirt?

    ME

    During drunken karaoke nights.

  15. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: No, dooode!

    Buffett, the Vampire Slayer.

  16. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: Haha, that’s awesome!

    See how fried I am? Couldn’t even come up with Buffett, this from a former Parrot Head.

    Guess I shoulda had my cheeseburger in paradise instead of the leftover chicken fried rice.

  17. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Prolly. You hanging with Dash this weekend?

  18. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: No kids this weekend, had to work too many hours.

    Heading to the Bar/ Pool hall to teach a trash talker a lesson. Be back around 11 my time. If you’re still there, I’ll let ya know how much money the chump lost.

    BTW, I think Dash could beat this guy, and he’s 8.

  19. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: Nice, take the schmo for all he’s worth.

  20. Steve says:
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    Hello boyz. Anyone around? Are we well?

  21. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: What’s up, Teve? I just watched Baby Mama. I want my two hours back.

  22. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Making dinner, feeling the effects of a late Saturday night.

  23. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Making some milkfish? Roasted sugar glider? Kangaroo?

    What did you do last night?

  24. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Doooode! This is NZ not Oz – none of those species here. Altho, I have eaten kangaroo and it is pretty good. Just some BBQ pork chops tonight with salad and potatoes.
    Company party last night – kind of a 10th anniversary/early xmas rolled into one.
    A big deal – 1500 or so people, live bands etc etc. This company doesn’t do these things by halves – even if the world economy is in the toilet.
    But 2am is tough to recover from for an old fool like me.

  25. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Gotta admit a BBQ sugar glider kebab sounds good. How’s the ‘stache doing for Movember?

  26. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Now, this what makes the (mobile) internet great.
    You’ve caught me on my early morning walk! And I can answer cos I have my Blackberry with me to listen to music.
    The stache? I’m not especially hirsute so it wil be a work in progress for a while…

  27. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: You need Rogaine. Get on it!

  28. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Ha! I’m not sure there’s enough Rogaine in the world to help me. I only need to shave every second day as it is!

  29. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: That’s about how often I manscape. What, too much information?

  30. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Na – just adds to the intrigue.

  31. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: @Steve: Ha

    Ahoooooo, Werewolves of Auckland.

    Baseball’s over, didn’t you guys get the memo?

  32. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: I gotta tell my girlfriend. My manscaping makes me intriguing.

  33. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: You know that Zevon song he came out with right when he died? That’s just about perfect. That and, “Pure Imagination,” by Gene Wilder.

    EDIT: Cuz.

  34. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: That reminds me, rent Young Frankenstein next weekend. Kids have never seen it.

  35. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: I was walking past a migrant worker today and he had a Princess Bride shirt on and it said, “Inconceivable!” I thought that shirt was the best thing I ever saw. I pointed it out to my girlfriend and she had never seen the movie. We almost broke up right there.

  36. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: I’ve never seen Princess Bride either. Guess you’ll have to break up with me too. Miss ya buddy……

  37. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: What kind of person has never seen Princess Bride? Rent that with your kids too. You’ll all enjoy it.

  38. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: OK, I’m on it.

    Rob Reiner flick so it’s gotta be funny right?

  39. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: It’s an 80s Rob Reiner movie so it is funny. Stay away from 2000s Reiner. Yuck.

  40. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Grey: He’ll always be Meathead to me.

    Came home empty handed last night btw, nobody would bet. Good thing too, had too much tequila.

  41. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BigFatHippo: What about the ladies? Did you try any of The Pickup Artist lines? Pull the “caper” out?

  42. Steve says:
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    @BigFatHippo: @Grey: Nothing good ever came of too much tequila.

  43. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Last time I pulled my caper out in a bar, I got arrested.

  44. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Steve: @Grey: Trust me, you don’t pick up ladies in the bar I went to. You’ll pick up more than ya bargained for.

    Ask Alyssa Milano where it hurts.

  45. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Capers go well with kangaroos, no?

  46. Steve says:
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    @Grey: I’d imagine so, although kangaroo is more like steak in taste and appearance.

    Capers best with smoked salmon (lox for you, if I’m not mistaken) on a bagel with cream cheese.

  47. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Just thought of a great deli name, Bull-lox. Am I right? Or am I right-right?

    Capers are nice on chicken, I assumed that was what ‘roo tasted like. Is ‘roo served in a lot of places? Expensive? Inexpensive? Give me the news, Teve.

  48. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Nah – kangaroo is definitely a red meat.

    I imagine it’s served in plenty of places in Australia – I think I’ve only seen it the once here, which is the time I ate it.

    Got lucky that night, too, although I’m not sure the two events are related in any way.

    Now THAT is too much information.

    FYI – http://www.kangaroo-industry.asn.au/recipes/recipe_frame.htm

  49. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: “Serve lilli pilli in damper and quandong compote on plate…” Of course there’s lilli pilli in damper. Dur. Also, there’s nothing like a good quandong compote — yummy and filling.

  50. Steve says:
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    @Grey: What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten?

    I had raw horsemeat in Japan once – it was fantastic. Obviously bred for eating, was like prime fillet steak.

  51. BigFatHippo says:
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    Man you guys are eating Roo from Winnie the Pooh now? That’s just sick.

    Know what else is sick? This joke……

    A baby seal walks into a club………

  52. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Hmm… I ate crickets recently. They tasted like potato chips. That was pretty weird though to look at them:

    http://razzball.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/Crickets.jpg

    I’ll eat anything once, but can’t think of anything that was weirder to look at than the crickets.

    BTW, I’ve always wanted to go to Japan. I’m a huge fan of sushi.

    @BigFatHippo: Hehe

  53. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Oh yeah – Japanese food is fantastic. And a pretty interesting place to visit. Pretty different to what we are used to in ‘the West’.

  54. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Have you been to the US?

  55. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Yeah – but a long time (more than 20 years) ago. LA, San Francisco, New York and Detroit (my dad was a Ford dealer).

  56. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Phew… As long as you went to Detroit. That’s a real peach of a city. Our finest gem.

  57. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Yeah, it was probably my fourth favourite!

    Although we did get to go to the Detroit Grand Prix.

  58. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: I went to Detroit last year for a wedding. The rehearsal dinner was in a bowling alley. And that was the nicest place in the city!

  59. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Now that is class.

    Still, with the automobile and Motown, you’d have to say that Detroit has made a decent contribution to popular culture.

  60. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Totally… 40 years ago.

  61. Steve says:
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    @Grey: True that.

    Not much since – you couldn’t really say that Bob Seger and Eminem were exactly epoch-definers.

  62. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Steve: @Grey: Don’t forget Detroit also gave us Kid Rock, Ted Nugent and Eminem.

    Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

  63. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Steve: Bob Seger, definitely a good thing.

  64. Steve says:
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    @BigFatHippo: OK. This is really f****** weird.

    The reason I mentioned Bob Seger, is that I kind of rediscovered him over the weekend. I think he’s great.

    And you know what? I said to myself – “I bet Hippo likes Bob Seger.”

    Not a word of a lie.

  65. BSA says:
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    Grey, should we be watching for you at the GM meetings in Dana Point tomorrow?

  66. BigFatHippo says:
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    @Steve: Best live album ever made, Bob Seger’s “Live Bullet”. Buy it.

    Saw him in concert in early 90’s, backed up by Alice In Chains believe it or not. Two of the best sounding shows I’ve ever seen. If one were able to see sounds.

    I saw more than sounds at a Pink Floyd concert BTW.

  67. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: General Motors? Nah, I buy foreign.

  68. BSA says:
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    I don’t exactly see you shlepping around LA in a Honda Hybrid.

  69. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: Nah, but I wanna get a Smart car. Know anyone with one?

  70. BigFatHippo says:
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    @BSA: @Grey: I can picture Grey toolin around Hollywood Blvd on a Segway.

  71. Pingback: The Disabled List Informer › Razzball Keepers

  72. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @BSA: That’s a pingback. That means The Disabled List Informer linked to this post.

    I do have a Segway and I wear knee pads and a helmet. What?

  73. Steve says:
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    @Grey: A master of the literary segueway, no doubt.

    “That’s a pingback.” Said with such authority.

    Every day you become a little more of a computer geek. Nice.

  74. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: Ha! In all fairness, I had to look it up myself. It’s one of the first I’ve let through and I only let this one through because I figured everyone would move to the newest post by now. Give Hater Bell some love. He desperately needs it.

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