Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterShare on Google+

I think there’s a fairly evident reason it took Edwin Encarnacion a while to sign with a team.  Doode’s a leather-bound book with dust.  In the future, will a little boy sit down to hear a tale from his grandfather and the grandfather will blow dust off a Kindle?  “In the fall of 2016, I bought this Kindle from a garage sale.  What’s a garage sale, you ask.  It’s an informal market of used products that is held outside a house by where one stores their automobile.  What’s an automobile, you ask.”  Please, Grey, leave this metaphor alone!  You’re prolly right, Random Italicized Voice.  Speaking of grandfathers, this was overheard at the Christmas table yesterday:  My grandfather, “I took Viagra and only my nipples got hard.  Don’t think I got the pill all the way down.”  Any hoo!  Edwin’s ground ball ratio went up and his fly balls went down.  He still hits the ball hard, and, if he were 27 years old, none of his red flags would even be flags, they’d be red handkerchiefs for my white suit when I’m feeling especially Scarfacey.  His Ks went up, so he’s a .260 hitter now instead of a .270 hitter?  Big whoop.  I’m having a hard time being negative on Edwin, except he will be 34 years old.  Guys do excel in their mid-30s, but not as much as they don’t.  Am I excited about Edwin after he signed with the Indians?  Not particularly, but thinking he’s going to fall off, is you talking hunches and that only works if you’re making small talk with Quasimodo.  For Edwin’s 2017 projections, I’ll give him 88/36/105/.260/2 in 535 ABs.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2017 fantasy baseball:

Ben Revere – Signed by the Angels to back up left field, because the Angels had so little faith in their offseason trade for Cameron Maybin.  The Sciosciapath called Maybin after Revere signed and said, “I don’t want you to think this will change your playing time, I just want you to know that I know you won’t stay healthy anyway.”  As for Revere, he will back up Maybin and appear at autograph signings for Denard Span.  For 2017, I’ll give Revere 48/1/16/.283/23 in 374 ABs.

Ender Inciarte – Signed a five-year deal with the Braves.  Inciarte is sneaky for fantasy and real baseball value.  So sneaky his name tells you he’s In CIA, and you don’t even know he’s covert.  He waves his hand in front of his face like John Cena and says, “You can’t see me,” and you really can’t see him.  For fantasy, he’s a cheap Eaton.  I will call him Eaton at Popeye’s.  Not a whole lot of power, but should get a decent average, runs and steals.  For 2017, I’ll give him 92/7/39/.297/21 in 587 ABs.

Michael Morse – Signed with the Giants.  If he doesn’t make the club as a bench bat, Morse might make the club as cheaper form of communication with the bullpen.

Manny Ramirez – Reportedly training for a comeback.  2017 is already looking up!

 
  1. Halp says:
    (link)

    Just when I thought every Viagra joke has been done to death, your grandfather might have pulled out the best one yet haha

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Halp: Haha, he is a character

  2. Malicious Phenoms says:
    (link)

    Grandpa Grey is a legend!

  3. That dude says:
    (link)

    When can we expect rankings to begin!? Excited AF!

  4. Malicious Phenoms says:
    (link)

    “Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason in 2017 fantasy baseball:” You said that above.

    Now on my December Grey calendar, it still says 2016…

  5. FrankGrimes says:
    (link)

    Merry Christmas

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Merry Christmas, Grimey!

  6. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
    (link)

    Working today has me feeling like a heel,
    as cuddly as a cactus, as charming as an eel,
    I’m a bad banana, with a greasy black peel.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      You’re a mean one…

      • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Who? HA! God I hate everything.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          You need a reindeer’d dog… how’d WV go?

          • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
            (link)

            @Grey: It was fine. Grandma’s house was definitely out in the cut. On some road for about 40 miles that would have been treacherous in snow (luckily global warming isn’t real and it just happened to be 60 yesterday). She would receive just a phone call from me every year.

            How about Florida? Quality crab on Saturday?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Saturday was possibly the worst dinner of all time, maybe top ten worst… was my grandfather’s choice so we went to an old age home (god’s waiting room) and it was chicken piccata and cannoli as a price fix menu… everything was gray including the food

              • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
                (link)

                @Grey: Haha! He chose to go to an old age home for dinner? He was just chasing some broads and used that Viagra as an after dinner mint.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Nah, he’s got a girlfriend that is 16 years younger than him and all they do is fight…. He keeps threatening to leave her, which is fine if he’s talking to just us but he can’t hear so he yells it in front of her and us… They just fight the entire time…. He liked the singer, which was why we went to the old age home… The singer was dressed as Santa doing the standards

                  • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Haha. That entire situation sounds like a movie my parents would love and tell me I must see it.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      I was thinking I’d like to make a documentary of the whole thing but I’d prolly make it too melancoly… My grandfather sleeps in the car at the gas station some nights b/c he can’t stand his girlfriend… Not even lying…

                    • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
                      (link)

                      Picturing an elderly man so enraged from a lover’s quarrel that he would sleep at a gas station has me in tears from laughter.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      No lie, he leaves his suitcase in the car’s trunk for a quick getaway…So every day he goes outside and gets his clothes for the day from the trunk

  7. Big Odio says:
    (link)

    I have a sneaking suspicion that Revere will be a frequent batty call.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, he’ll prolly end up getting 400+ ABs leading off cause of Mike

      • Big Odio says:
        (link)

        @Grey: I thought he was a better play than what he showed last year. Top of the Angels lineup will be some wildcard runs and legs you can get dort cheap. We should have a term for those guys that have value only tied to them batting leadoff or second in a lineup…or maybe we already do..

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Slam n leggers?

          • Big Odio says:
            (link)

            @Grey: no slam though. What is a term for run scorers we can combine with leggers? I’m brainstorming yo!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Haha… runny legs?

              • Big Odio says:
                (link)

                @Grey: oh I like that. Double word play!

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  I know! I’m the best!

  8. Big Odio says:
    (link)

    A dego from Jersey with radio apealing music. I couldn’t help but think of you when someone sent me this.

    https://youtu.be/oorK4RPgZ8Q

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Oh my god, the cheesiest

      • Big Odio says:
        (link)

        @Grey: you know you will be listening to this in the convertible….and nick will throw up in his mouth when he clicks that link

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I’d rock that in a second!

  9. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    the restricted FA are out now, bids go on from now till end of jan 1st. then we get 2 days to match or not. ruling out catchers/RP (kenley/wade/capps/c.allen) probably cost too much or are risky (capps)/ SP (since i have sale and very likely quintana i don’t need to use money on scherzer/strasburg/arrieta/kershaw/price/lester) this leaves these might be worth bidding on:
    MI tulo/cano/zobrist/andrus/crawford/villar
    CI votto/villar/freeman/son of donald/turner/E5/pujols/villar
    OF zobrist/upton/stanton/trumbo/a.jones/braun/cargo 1/cespedes/cain/kemp

    i’m guessing i should just throw some out from likely being overbid (tulo/crawford/turner, probably kemp) age/injury risk (pujols). my starting roster is
    C d’arnaud
    CI (2) beltre
    MI (2) segura
    OF (3) altherr/rosario
    util (1) drury (could fit into any CI/MI/OF spot)
    with all of that (and i can bid more than 1 year when i bid) is this a good ranking for OPS added dynasty leagues: stanton/son of donald/votto/freeman/villar/braun/cano
    cargo 1/E5/cespedes/zobrist/pujols/upton/cain/jones
    these guys will likely all cost between 12 and 22 million or so. maybe one or two of them even more, and likely around a 16 average since we upped our budgets to 110 from 100.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah that ranking looks about right… Zobrist knocked back behind Upton, but it’s close

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @goodfold2: realized from earlier n.jones trade question that in saying “dynasty league” this might be a bit misleading. it’s contracts and all that and this year will have the most MLB level FA ever in our league, earlier we had an option to lock up players for an additional 2 years by adding 6 mil to their real life contracts, meaning really good players like sale/stanton etc cost around 6.4 million the last few years. not anymore. the above list is guys who’s bids can be matched by their owners, but this is a list of players that can just be bid on and won in february, to give an idea:
      C martin/grandal/wieters/mccann (old one)/ramos/mesoraco/hundley (many others)
      CI – hosmer/c.davis/dan murphy/belt/longo/mostsuckass/healy/adonis/schrimpf/duffy
      duda/gyorko/headley/pedro/adams/dietrich/nunez etc
      MI – murphy/pedroia/brad miller/schimpf/c.hernandez/inverted H/forsythe/lawrie/reyes
      duffy/gyorko/phillips/hardly/espinosa/dietrich/scooter/nunez etc
      OF – desmond/thames/cargo 2/melky/dickerson/grandy/red dick/ellsbury/span/werth
      maybin/broxton (strange he isn’t on a rookie contract)/choo/heyward/leonys/saunders
      rajai etc
      SP – verlander/duffy/hill/roark/estrada/happ/iwakuma/kennedy/hellickson/felix
      pineda/moore/hammel/paxton/chen/tomlin/pomeranz
      and i’ve already shown the RP. so lots of guys to bid on, more than any other year (except for opening year draft that i wasn’t here for)

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        Ton of players there that will be available

Comments are closed.