When you drafted John Lackey and/or Ervin Santana in your fantasy baseball leagues, you probably didn’t know that you weren’t going to see either of them until the middle of May.  Last year, Lackey suffered from a strained triceps (I think that’s near the biceps — I should’ve been a doctor!) and returned to solid results.  In 163 1/3 innings, he had a 3.75 ERA and 130 Ks.  In the abbreviated 1st half, he had a 2.47 ERA and 1.80 and 1.16 in May and June, respectively.  But in the 2nd half, he had a 4.99 ERA.  Red flag, right?  Not entirely.  He gave up more home runs than his career rate and there’s no reason to think he should give up that many homers again.  However, he’s not getting guys to swing and miss like he used to.  So a better 2nd half, but he’s not a 2.47 ERA pitcher for the whole year either.  Think 3.50/1.22 and 10 wins in 20+ starts.  Then there’s Ervin Santana.  He showed up on the risky pitchers list and promptly went down with an elbow injury.  This was probably due to being overworked last year.  The last two months of rest probably did his arm good, but he’s still a risky proposition.  He’s much more of an unknown on how he’ll bounce back this year.  If he returns with solid results in the first couple of starts, I’d try to flip him for a different piece unless you’re strapped for pitchers.  Don’t sell him for fiddy cents on the dollar.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Johan Santana – Mets have given him 9 runs of support in 7 starts.  They’ve also given up 4 unearned runs in those games.  Maybe he can start a support group with Dan Haren.

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If you drafted Manny this year, then you better make a new plan, Stan because Man-Ram is getting time off for bad behavior.  50 games to be exact.  The reason – he came up positive for human chorionic gonadotropin, or HCG, which can be used to boost testosterone levels.  Manny seems to be claiming his doctor prescribed it for erectile dysfunction but the drug is most often prescribed for…women’s fertility.  Huh?  And here we thought Alyssa Milano was the only person in the LA Dodger clubhouse taking those.  Maybe Manny got screwed by a bad boner doctor but our money is on Scott Boras.  He probably gave those pills to Manny, told him they were Flintstone vitamins, and Manny hallucinated Flintstone faces onto the vitamins.

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Chris Davis has 42 Ks in 88 ABs.  That’s a pace of about 300 Ks.  Not sure he gets there, but Mark Reynolds should be worried about his strikeout record.  Back when I called Chris Davis a poor man’s Mark Reynolds, everyone and there’s Momma’s boyfriend wanted some Davis action.  Back in June of 2008, when Davis was called up, I said, “(It) doesn’t mean he will strikeout 250 times and hit 50 HRs, but it gives you a bit of an idea of what kind of player he is.”  Actually, he may strikeout 250 times.  And that’s me quoting me linking to me and correcting me!  I’m not saying any of this to push people to trade him away, but I think a lot of people thought they were getting a .300 hitter in Davis.  He’s not.  Average is a bit of a fluky thing, but, with the way Davis is striking out, he’s looking like a .240-.250 hitter.  I still think as the weather heats up the homers will be flying, but check your expectations.  Anyway, here’s what we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Grady Sizemore – Sizemore got caught stealing for the 4th time yesterday in 9 tries.  Last year he only was caught 5 times out of 44 tries.  Grady hasn’t had this much trouble getting to 2nd base since he was a sophomore in high school and was still being ridiculed as Gravy Friesmore.

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Carlos Zambrano has managed to win 13 or more games for 6 straight years.  It wasn’t easy.  He had to get through a Sweatshop Foreman in Dusty Baker and a pitcher hater in Lou Piniella.  He’s managed 17 HRs in his career and has almost hit his weight (.240).  But, for some reason, he decides to lay down a bunt single and strains his hamstring trying to beat it out.  Somewhere Michael Barrett chuckles.  This sucks if you’re a Zambrano owner but doesn’t do much to change his value.  He’ll miss 3-4 starts and come back to pitch at about 4.00 ERA, solid Ks, and a Win every other start.  That’s assuming, though, he stops trying to emulate Juan Pierre.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jonathan Sanchez – 4 IP, 4 ER.  Walked in a run in the 1st.  There’s got to be a direct correlation between pitchers walking in a run and how undesirable they are for fantasy.  Maybe we can get Rudy to draw up a chart.

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It’s analogy time.  Stolen bases = candy.  Chris ‘Tall’ Young = baby.  Dexter Fowler‘s 5 SBs are thus like taking candy from a baby (or, as Steve Rogers would sing, like takin’ can-dee from a bay-bee).  It’s hard not to love Dexter Fowler right now.  He’s everything we hoped Cameron Maybin would be.  He’s now to the point where he’s must own in 10 and 12 team leagues especially when facing the man we shall now call Cristal (Chris Tall) Young (as opposed to his doppelganger Krispie Young).  But he’s still a rookie OF straight from AA (insert trite Josh Hamilton joke).  His .335 / 9 HR / 20 SB line in 400 ABs at AA does not equate to much more than a 5th OF when equivalized for MLB.  But neither did Hanley Ramirez’s.  And you never know in Colorado.  So if he’s available in your league, you’d be more of a Dexter if you didn’t take a chance on him.  If he’s already snapped up, look to trade that bottom starter, reliever, or OF you’ve got.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brad Hawpe – Left on a stretcher after Hundley hit him in the neck with a pickoff throw.  Sounds like someone had some misplaced aggression about Fowler.  Hopefully Hawpe’s okay… Because I have him on a team!  No, I’m kidding.  I don’t own him.

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As Stephen Drew tried to take that step forward in 2009 that fantasy baseball owners craved, he hurt his hamstring.  Wonder what a Drew family vacation is like… “J.D., you wanna go see the world’s largest bottle cap?  It’s supposedly 17 inches in circumference!” “Sure, I’ll go tell Mom and Pop.”  On the way to the Sequoia, two hamstring pulls, a fractured hip and the Mom needs Tommy John surgery.  Pretty sure no one’s giving them joint family coverage.  The MDs in AZ say Drew’s injury shouldn’t knock him out longer than the 15 days.  When you consider he hadn’t even started to hit yet, looks like Drew’ll begin his season mid-May.  All in all, this is a decent buy low guy right now.  If you can trade some spare parts for him (closer-du-jour, extra OF, etc.), he should prove worth stashing.  He’s still talented and he can have a solid three-quarters of a season.  Hopefully, he spent the first quarter on someone else’s team.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:

Brandon Webb – Earliest return date is late-May.  Still a long season so you can’t really sell him short, but with the trouble coming in his right shoulder, I’d be worried this doesn’t become a worst situation before it gets better.

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With apologies to the great baseball writers that are from KC and/or write about the Royals (Bill James, Rob Neyer, Joe Posanaski), we decided to honor the Royals’ acting like a real sports team for the past 15 years by converting their roster into the best combination of sports and acting there is:  professional wrestling.

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The only people that are heaped with more scorn than nerds at Adams College are fantasy pitchers who are drafted in the top 6 rounds only to severely disappoint.  It may not be fair to the pitchers but it definitely offers up some bargains come draft time for those that can see that they are champions and will keep on fighting ’til the end.  Aaron Harang and Erik Bedard are your Louis and Gilbert.  Granted Harang was facing the Pirates, but a 3 hit no walk shutout with 9 K’s has got to be a great sign for those that gambled on a comeback.  Erik Bedard – who has been great when healthy – tosses 8 1/3 shutout innings agains the A’s with 3 hits and a walk.  Assuming these two can stay healthy (no small challenge for Bedard or a pitcher on Dusty’s staff), their fantasy owners will be eating pie this year.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brandon Webb – To the DL with a sore right shoulder.  I warned people back in February not to make this guy your top starter, “As for Webb, I’m legitimately worried about him.  So much of his value is derived from good Win karma,” but obviously the Eight Ball didn’t even predict things would be this bad.  For those thinking it’s a good Buy opportunity because his owners are now discounting him.  Let’s drop some Liquid Paper on your brain and correct that.  Pitchers + arm, shoulder or elbow injuries = Don’t Want.

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This was a fantasy baseball league put together by the FSWA, Fantasy Sports Writers Association.  (Grey is in the FSWA and Rudy is unlicensed.  Hopefully they don’t kick out Grey for hiring non-union labor.) We drafted this league together, which made for some disagreements in our two styles of drafting.  That was quickly mended when we realized it was only a 12 team league and we could get a stacked team no matter how many top chefs were cooking in this quickfire challenge.

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Emilio Bonifacio is like that kid in the 80′s movies that seemed like he didn’t belong but, by the end, is holding his own.  At least for one day.  Yes, Bonifacio has 2B eligibility, but the Marlins are playing him at 3rd.  Who knows how long this lasts?  Perhaps as long as Anthony Michael Hall’s career.  It doesn’t hurt that he stole 3 bags and had an inside-the-park homer (I didn’t see this HR, but I assuming he hit it at Dunn).  Just don’t get addicted to him (like Ally Sheedy would).  Today was nice, but he’s still just steals.  Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Felipe Lopez – 2 HRs.  I <3 Felipe.

Please, blog, may I have some more?