What’s the difference between the ‘Stros and Stroh’s beer? The beer has an H.  ‘Stros couldn’t manage one. While 110 pitches is a slight stretch for Zambrano given he had missed 2 starts to injury, that was just an exhibition game’s amount of work when Dusty was coaching him. If anyone could throw an 150 pitch no-hitter like the type we used to throw in Wiffle Ball, it was Zambrano. This was the first no-hitter for the Cubs since 1972 which was also the last year that they were within 65 years of a championship. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

David Price – In a relief appearance today against the Yankees, David Price made his major league debut. He pitched 5 and 2/3 innings, gave up 2 ER (only one really, the other scored off Hammel after he left) and he looked impressive against a top-notch offense. He’s scheduled for one start on September 23rd against the Orioles. He’s worth the spot start and he might have some value as a middle reliever for AL-Only teams the rest of the year, but David Price’s real value is in keeper leagues and for next year.

Max Scherzer – 6 IP, 1 ER with 9 Ks. Scherzer took it to the Reds like he was McCarthy.

Andy LaRoche – 3-for-4, but they were all singles. It’ll be interesting to see if the Pirates give LaRoche a chance to play next spring. It’ll be even more interesting to see if Andy LaRoche can live up to his billing as the superior LaRoche brother. Our prediction is that their performance doesn’t get the Pittsburgh faithful singing “We Are Family” anytime soon.

Aaron Cook – 8 IP, 0 ER, might have some value down the stretch if you’re streaming starters. Cook’s usually a pretty reliable, just above average pitcher.

Kevin Gregg – Pulled after pitching to one batter in the ninth. Lindstrom’s still the closer, he was just overworked. Gregg’s about as likely to take over the closer role again as the Marlins are to having a Fidel Castro Bobblehead Doll Day.

Phil Hughes – Will get the start this Wednesday against the White Sox. That doesn’t mean he needs to be on your team.

Vladimir Guerrero – Will sit out three to four games this week. I told you to drop Vlad the other day.

Andre Ethier – Missed the last two games of the Rockies series because his wife is giving birth. Will return to the team on Monday. Why isn’t Juan Pierre helping Ethier’s wife with Lamaze? Or freakin’ James Loney.

Nick Markakis – I am Sparkakis! No, I am Sparkakis!

Oscar Salazar – 2 HRs. Who? Some total schmohawk, but he also went deep on Saturday. These last two days are surely aberrations (Word of the Day), but if he puts some aberrations together to turn them into regulariocities (Made Up Word of the Day), then you might want to grab him in H2H leagues.

Radhames Liz – 8 IP, 0 ER. Not an option in any league. Unless you’re in a league where your pitchers’ first names have to sound like an expensive condom.

Nick Blackburn – 4 IP, 6 ER. His last name and strikeout totals make him sound like a Pirate. He’s not, he’s a Twin and he has excellent command, which makes him yawnstipating but effective.

Oliver Perez – 7 IP, 2 ER. So consistently inconsistent that it was only fitting that the Mets’ consistently inconsistent bullpen blew his chance at a win.

Luis Ayala – Blew a big game for the Mets. The kind of game that pundits point to as the one that got away. Obviously no one ever told pundits it’s impolite to point. The blown save and breach of etiquette caused Billy Wagner to cry again.

Cameron Maybin – Will be called up on Monday. Could be cheap steals if the Marlins play him. SAGNOF.

Matt Garza – Will start on three days rest on Wednesday. This isn’t great news. He had a nice rhythm going where he was good every other start. This move might throw off his rhythm.

Jeremy Sowers – In three innings, Sowers gave up 3 ER on 75 pitches. Or about half as many pitches Lincecum threw in a shutout on Saturday.

Justin Upton – HR yesterday that went about 450 feet to straightaway center. I’ll be getting excited about this guy in the offseason.

Shane Victorino – HR in the first game, 4-for-4 in the second game. The Flyin’ Hawaiian got his wings back.

Brett Myers – 9 IP, 1 ER and only 2 hits. Afterwards, Brett felt really bad saying he didn’t mean two-hitter.

  1. Steve says:

    Which CF is going to help me wrap up 3rd (booooooo!) place over the next two weeks?

    Crisp (who is filling in for me on Monday), Dukes, Car-Go or The Big Fra-Gu?

  2. BSA says:

    Gee I wonder who Brett was thinking of when he hoped it didn’t hurt?

  3. SoS says:

    “Afterwards, Brett felt really bad saying he didn’t mean two-hitter.” -That is fantastic. Boom….outta here.

  4. RT says:

    I saw Price (much to my surprise) live at Yankee Stadium yesterday. Dude is down right filthy. Fastball poppin’ 94-97 and his slider diving out of the zone at about 88-89 mph. His stuff is top notch. He made Damon and Pudge make some ugly swings. He looked like the old Big Unit out there.

  5. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: I’d rock Dukes or Gomez. Dukes if I needed some power. Gomez if I really wanted speed.

    @BSA: Hehe

    @SoS: Glad you liked.

    @RT: On TV, he looked that nasty too.

  6. knighttown says:


    Re: Two-hitter:

    It probably isn’t appropriate to give yourself the comment o’ the week but as Dictator of the Razzball universe, you should just this once. In a season of some great shit, this one stands out.

  7. knighttown says:

    p.s. in your year-end performance review, I also liked the references to the flat-peak types like Chad Cordero as (and I can’t quote it exactly) “he looks like some hybrid between a child and a pedophile”. It makes no sense, but you hit the nail on the head somehow.

  8. Grey

    Grey says:

    @knighttown: He does though! It’s really weird.

  9. MilwaukeeFan says:

    I’m standing on a ledge on the roof of Miller Park. Should I hit the ground head first or feed first?

  10. BigFatHippo says:

    @Grey: Fourth place guy in my league had Zambrano and Lester on his bench, I’d say that qualifies as the sonofabench of the year.

  11. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: Wow…. Wait… Wow. That hurts.

  12. Grey

    Grey says:

    @MilwaukeeFan: Just aim for Ned Yost. He’ll appreciate it.

  13. Steve says:

    Calling all Ethier owners – he’s still bathing the baby and is out of the Dodger lineup again today.

  14. knighttown says:

    As a reminder for next year when I got cocky coming back as the defending champ, I’ll show you exhibit “A”, one Theodore Lilly.

    About a week ago, after sitting on his 22.5 ERA/2 IP start versus Cincinnati for 4 days, I got the willies about starting against St. Louis and came on here and said

    “I don’t like his matchups the rest of the way as much as Gil Meche, so thanks for everything this year Teddy-Boy and I’ll see you next year.

    Clicked “drop” and picked up Gilbert.

    Since then? Lilly: 15IP, 2 wins, 14 K’s, 0.6ERA, 0.45 WHIP
    Meche: 5 IP, 0 wins, 7 K’s, 10.80 ERA, 2.2 WHIP

    So, acknowledging that I know nothing, do I start Slowey tonight versus Cleveland?

  15. knighttown says:

    Anyone got anything new on Wiggington, Dickerson or BJ Upton?

  16. knighttown says:

    And one more. Any of you die hard hockey fan(s) in the US know of a “fantasy hockey” site that is the frozen equivalent of Razzball?

  17. Grey

    Grey says:

    @knighttown: Start Slowey.

    @knighttown: Wigginton’s return date is unknown by the Astros, supposedly. Dickerson’s back, but nursing a sore ankle and Upton’s probably a few days away.

    I don’t know hockey. Sorry.

  18. BSA says:

    @BigFatHippo: Classic end of season benching that pisses someone off because there is no excuse. Think about it, leaguemates are laughing their asses off and you have nothing to say.

    @Steve: He ain’t bathing that baby yet. Though his back might be recovering from sleeping on that great they give the men in the hospital.

  19. BSA says:

    der – add foldout to that line about what they give men to sleep on in the hospital.

  20. Steve says:

    @BSA: Quite true – poor choice of words. He’s probably still staring into the crib with a slightly puzzled expression.

    At least that’s what I did ;-)

  21. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BSA: Wife’s in labor and you’re worried about getting some shut-eye, huh?

  22. BSA says:

    @Steve: Or he could be like me and be asking Joe if he could grab a quick nap before the game and missed the lineup card therein being benched.

  23. Steve says:

    @Grey: Once it starts, there’s not much you can do to stop it.

    Might as well get some sleep while you can.

  24. BSA says:

    @Grey: C;mon now! Post labor man post labor. There ain’t nothing like “sleeping” on that bed/chair (if that is what you can call it).

    Trust me I am aware there ain’t no such thing as sleep during labor. Heck there is no such thing as a night’s sleep for a number of years to go. I call it a bunch of naps.

  25. BSA says:

    @Steve: When baby number two was coming every 20 minutes for an hour my wife kept telling me to hurry up and get some sleep, we’re heading to the hospital in the morning. This was at 10:00 at night. HA! Didn’t make it to 1:00 AM.

  26. BSA says:

    Alright enough baby talk.

  27. Steve says:

    @BSA: Agreed.

    But, as I’ve said before, the breadth of conversation you get at Razzball just can’t be beat.

    And that’s me quoting me! And trying to sound like an American while doing so.

  28. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: That reminds me, is your whole league Kiwis or do you not know your leaguemates?

  29. BSA says:

    @Steve: True very true! Many times this summer I have found myself laughing at the off topic stuff. Even in this last commentary I laughed imagining the couple of women reading and thinking we have no idea!

    On a baseball note, I am impressed with Kazmir’s gaff tonight as well as Lannan. I have Lannan pitching in my H2H against Lilly. Lets go Nats! Wait did I just say that?!

  30. Steve says:

    @Grey: I’m pretty sure we all are (there may be an Aussie or an Englishman), just spread around the globe a bit.

    There’s about 6 or 7 of us that all worked at the same place at about the same time, which is essentially how the league started.

    Back in the day when I could win the damn thing.

  31. BSA says:

    Anyone know what Lannan’s average PC has been this season? He’s through 7 and at 97 pitches.

  32. BSA says:

    White flag sent up in Tampa. Maddon is taking his starters out!

  33. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Very cool. I thought so from your team names.

    @BSA: About 90.

  34. Steve says:

    @Grey: Yeah – my team name reflects nothing more glamourous than the street that I live in and the soft spot I have for the Cardinals.

  35. wassup says:

    championship week and ethier and conor jackson still arent back. When are they expected back? Cant afford to have injured guys not puttin up numbers. Should I drop them cause some numbers from the guys I pick up is better than 0 numbers from Ethier and Conor. It is the last week so should I drop them. My thoughts are keep Ethier and drop Jackson besides even before Jackson’s injury he wasnt that good

  36. Grey

    Grey says:

    @wassup: I’d drop Jackson and hold Ethier. Ethier should be back by tomorrow.

  37. Steve says:

    Justin Upton – gotta be worth a pickup, no?

  38. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Steve: Yeah, he’s gotten hot.

  39. and1mcgee says:

    teagarden for MVP

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