by: Smokey
Another week has come and gone my friends, well, I’m assuming we are friends. Hopefully fake baseball is still enjoyable to you, even if your team is in the crapper. It’s not too late, in fact it’s still way early. Trust in the pitcher is the biggest thing that makes a start a must start. Please, blog, may I have some more?
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At least that’s the creed that Francona and Epstein keep repeating to themselves as they sit in the fetal position on opposite corners of the clubhouse shower. Carl Crawford seems like a nice guy. Something about the name Carl. So innocuous. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ben Zobrist had a pretty good day yesterday. A double slam and legs and 10 RBIs. Zobrist’s wife, an aspiring singer of Christian pop music, wrote a song about Zobrist’s day called, “The Day The Lord Shined His Lovelight On Ben.” Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
BABIP is Batting Average on Balls In Play. And they sometimes lie, even if Shakira sang, BABIPs Don’t Lie. BABIP is a quick way to know how much luck a hitter is having. There’s more to it, but for the purposes of this, a high BABIP for a hitter and it means the hitter could hit a bloop single just over the pitcher’s head with the infield drawn in. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Justin Smoak has back-to-back days with home runs and back-to-back-to-back games with a home run. Say that fast 117 times! Where there’s Smoak, there’s fire! See what I did there?! Did you see?! Yeah, of course you did, it was pretty obvious. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Stephen
Texas Rangers 2010 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America (2010)
2010 (2) | 2009 (1) | 2008 (4) | 2007 (28) | 2006 (16) | 2005 (16) | 2004 (16)
Record of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [90 – 72] AL West – AL Champions
AAA: [73 – 70] Pacific Coast League – Oklahoma City
AA: [72 – 67] Texas League – Frisco
A+: [67 – 73] California League – Bakersfield
A: [75 – 64] South Atlantic League – Hickory
A(ss): [43 – 33] Northwest League – Spokane
R: [31 – 24] Arizona Rookie League
The Run Down
Their 2011 farm ranking has dropped from the single digits from some stellar prospects graduating or being traded. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
Jonathan Broxton blew his first save because of an error and he’s out as closer. Hmph. The Dodgers’ GM Colletti said the Dodgers would turn to Padilla and Broxton with Kuo joining the mix when he returns at the end of the week. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s quote the Random Preseason Commenter, “You don’t have Matt Thornton in your top 20 closers? Hey, Grey, how does it feel to suck at life? Oh, and while you’re sucking, blow me. Thank you.” This isn’t to point out I knew Thornton would be terrible, but to say again how fickle closers are. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey
Ozzie said that Sergio Santos would be the closer vs. righties. That means Santos is just the closer closer. Or as close to it as we’re gonna get. I don’t know how much I believe this. Just the other day Ozzie said the White Sox had the best bullpen in the American League. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here at Razzball we don’t believe in vetoing a fantasy baseball trade, but we do fully support passive-aggressive, sarcastic belittling. If someone in your league completed a trade that makes you wish they’d walk into oncoming traffic, you’re in luck! Here’s a Mad Libs-type tirade to post in your league’s messageboard because when met with pettiness, you should retaliate with more pettiness. Please, blog, may I have some more?
by: Grey / Rudy
The other day I was feeling tired but not tired like I could sleep but tired like I wanted to lie in bed and have Rudy read me a bedtime story. So here’s what Rudy read to me, “Once upon a time, a very long time ago now, about last Friday, Neftali Feliz was the best closer in the major leagues. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In an alternate universe, one in which the Cuban Missile Crisis was more than a crisis, the local family big-box appliance store would be Montgomery Castro. Launching the next holiday sale, Montgomery Castro introduces the exceeding expectations oven, the humidor microwave and the “Honey, I can’t find my [ground] balls,” fake grass-carpeting for the “dry” seasons down south. Please, blog, may I have some more?
