I have to warn you.  When I wrote this post, I was listening to Geto Boys’ Mind Is Playing Tricks On Me on repeat.  Granted, because the song is long, it probably only played three times.  Since I was about to spit fire, it felt appropriate that I sat alone in my four-cornered room staring at candles.  Okay, enough preambling.  How is Ryan Howard ranked 30th?!  I feel like De Niro watching Spider talk back to Pesci.  What’s the world coming to?!  Has anyone seen the size of Howard’s mollywhoppers or his stadium that has dwarfism like Bushwick Bill?  They also have Youuuuuuk ten spots ahead at 20th overall.  When I went over the ESPN mock draft earlier this month, I covered a lot of this.  I don’t want rehash old potatoes.  Let me just quote something real quick, “Howard’s a career .279 hitter who has averaged 45.8 homers in the last five years.  Has averaged 136 RBIs and 99 runs in those five years.  Youuuuuk has never knocked in 136 RBIs.  The amount Howard has averaged.  Youuuuuuk has only topped 99 runs once in his career.  That is Howard’s average.  Youuuuuk’s career high in homers is 29.  Oh, just a tad short of Howard.  Youuuuuuk’s career average is .294.  So that Youuuuuuk pick way ahead of Howard makes total sense.  /sarcasm  Oh, and Youuuuuuk had a torn muscle in his hand last year.  Yeah, hitters don’t need those hand things.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Prince Fielder’s another one that’s ranked too low (26th) and after Youuuuuuk.  This isn’t meant to bash Youuuuuuuk.  I understand he will have 3rd base eligibility.  I think Youuuuuuk will be healthy.  He’s fine.  He’s also 31 years old.  Why is he suddenly going to post career best numbers?  It’s messed up when your mind is playin’ tricks on you…

Tim Lincecum is ranked 17th overall.  Do they even look at his falling K-rate?  Or his loss of velocity?  Or how much he threw his slider?  Or that 19 start stretch last year when he had a 4.80 ERA and 1.56 WHIP?  Well, actually they talk about all of that.  They then say, “The positives continue to outweigh the negatives, so bank on another elite season coming.”  What positives?  Not to bring out Mr.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

From the files of “Oh, my God, Grey is really stupid,” I predicted Shaun Marcum would start this year’s All-Star game.  It’s hyperbole, people!  No, it’s man love.  No, it’s I’ve lost my mind for Shaun Marcum and there’s no one that can stop me.  He’s on all of my fantasy teams this year.  I gave him the 2011 projections of 15-8/3.35/1.15/185.  That’s Cy Young shizz.  If I didn’t think I’d get committed by giving him an ERA under 3, I would’ve.  I didn’t love him this much when he was on the Blue Jays.  I saw a guy who was just returning from surgery, a guy who doesn’t throw very hard and a guy who throws a lot of fly balls.  So what changed and why is he now a 2011 fantasy baseball sleeper?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The other day in the comments someone asked that I give some pairings for my first two rounds of the 2011 fantasy baseball drafts.  I was going to do this anyway (you’re not the boss of me!), but sometimes I need a gentle nudge in the right direction.  Not a noodge, thank you.  What I’m hoping to lay out to you is who do you draft 2nd if you’ve drafted so and so first.  I already did the pitchers pairings.  I think it might be helpful to go through pairings for your 5 outfielders, all your middle and corner infielders too.  I’m not sure I’ll have the time or patience to do them though.   We’ll see!  Or not.  Your choice.  For easy reference, the royal we will be using the top 10 2011 fantasy baseball rankings and the top 20 2011 fantasy baseball rankings.  I’m going to assume you’re in a 12 team, 5×5, MI, CI, 5 OF, 1 Utility, 1 Catcher league.  Anyway, here’s some pairings for the first two rounds of 2011 fantasy baseball drafts:

Miguel Cabrera – I’d put him with just about anyone but another 1st baseman.  The reality of the situation is you want to get someone that is going to give you a few steals, say, 10.  A third baseman would also be ideal, but it might be unrealistic to think you’re going to get A-Rod or Zimmerman.  Youuuuuuuuk would be available in my fantasy fantasy world and have 3rd base eligibility at the start of the season, but getting Youuuuuuk might not be realistic either.  What is realistic is Matt Kemp, Justin Upton or Andrew McCutchen.  Miggy with one of those three looks real nice to me.  Your team would be balanced heading off to the third pick.  Someone like Kinsler, Pedroia, Phillips or Reyes would also work.  Really, as long as you avoid a 1st baseman, catcher and a starter, you should be fine.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m a pretty harsh critic of Razzball, but occasionally we’ll post things that even I feel are extremely helpful.  Usually these are done by other people for our site.  One of those things was the Fantasy Baseball War Room.  Another helpful thingie-ma-whosie is the 2011 fantasy baseball tiers, brought to you by regular commenter and all-around solid F.O.R., VinWins.   This fantasy baseball tier sheet is like the Cliff Notes version of the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings.  The tiers give you where I ranked players and the tier names, which should give you a rough idea of what I’m thinking when you don’t have much time.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

RCL sign-ups are in full bloom, but this isn’t for that.  This is for those in deeper or shallower leagues.  We already went over what it took to win your fantasy baseball league for 12 teams.  Don’t believe me?  Click this.  Sucker!  You got Rick Schroder rolled!  Or not because you read this part before you clicked it.  I know, 2002 called, they want their internet meme back.  Okay, here’s what it takes to win your 12 team fantasy baseball league.  Now here we have what it takes to win a 10, 14 and 16 team mixed league and an AL-Only or NL-Only league.  I’m not going to breakdown how much it takes to move up each point because with a little math you should be able to figure it out on your own.  Look at me having high hopes for you Razzballers.  (Hint:  Average is always the middle plus a half.  So the average in a 10 team league is 5.5.  To move up a point is the difference between the high and low number divided by the number of teams minus one.  So to move up one point in Runs in a ten team league, it’s 1240-1000 divided by 8, which is 30 Runs.  Voila, snitches!)  This is for the roster of C/1B/2B/SS/3B/5 OF/MI/CI/UTIL/9 P in the mixed leagues.  Then the AL and NL-Only leagues are factoring in 2 catchers.  In ten team mixed leagues, 10 pitchers are factored in because of the heavy waiver wiring that goes on.  Finally, the mixed leagues IP range is 1400-1500 and 1300-1400 in single leagues.  Wins and Ks should be lowered if your cap is below that.  Anyway, here’s what it takes to win a 10, 14, 16, NL-Only and AL-Only fantasy baseball league:

10 TEAM, MIXED

RUNS

Average – 1120
High – 1240
Low – 1000

HOME RUNS

Average – 267
High – 315
Low – 219

RBIS

Average – 1093
High – 1216
Low – 969

STEALS

Average – 184
High – 254
Low – 114

AVERAGE

Average – .279
High – .291
Low – .267

WINS

Average – 100
High – 120
Low – 79

SAVES

Average – 84
High – 156
Low – 44

ERA

Average – 3.66
High – 3.10
Low – 4.23

WHIP

Average – 1.25
High – 1.18
Low – 1.31

STRIKEOUTS

Average – 1348
High – 1576
Low – 1120

14 TEAM, MIXED

RUNS

Average — 1067
High — 1181
Low — 953

HOME RUNS

Average — 247
High — 287
Low — 206

RUNS BATTED IN

Average — 1038
High — 1155
Low — 921

STEALS

Average — 169
High — 229
Low — 108

AVERAGE

Average — .275
High — .287
Low — .263

WINS

Average — 90
High — 109
Low — 71

SAVES

Average — 62
High — 117
Low — 33

ERA

Average — 3.75
High — 3.17
Low — 4.33

WHIP

Average — 1.26
High — 1.20
Low — 1.32

STRIKEOUTS

Average — 1192
High — 1394
Low — 991

16 TEAMS, MIXED

RUNS

Average — 1040
High — 1151
Low — 929

HOME RUNS

Average — 241
High — 280
Low —201

RBIS

Average — 1013
High — 1127
Low — 898

STEALS

Average — 157
High — 213
Low — 100

AVERAGE

Average — .274
High — .286
Low — .262

WINS

Average — 88
High — 106
Low — 69

SAVES

Average — 56
High — 107
Low — 30

ERA

Average — 3.78
High — 3.19
Low — 4.37

WHIP

Average — 1.27
High — 1.20
Low — 1.33

STRIKEOUTS

Average — 1167
High — 1364
Low — 969

10 TEAM, AL-ONLY

RUNS

Average — 974
High — 1078
Low — 870

HOME RUNS

Average — 220
High — 259
Low — 180

RBIS

Average — 944
High — 1051
Low — 838

STEALS

Average — 147
High — 202
Low — 91

AVERAGE

Average — .272
High — .283
Low — .260

WINS

Average — 84
High — 101
Low — 66

SAVES

Average — 45
High — 88
Low — 13

ERA

Average — 4.05
High — 3.42
Low — 4.67

WHIP

Average — 1.31
High — 1.24
Low — 1.37

STRIKEOUTS

Average — 1084
High — 1267
Low — 901

10 TEAM, NL-ONLY

RUNS

Average — 940
High — 1040
Low — 839

HOME RUNS

Average — 219
High — 258
Low — 179

RBIS

Average — 921
High — 1025
Low — 817

STEALS

Average — 132
High — 182
Low — 82

AVERAGE

Average — .271
High — .283
Low — .259

WINS

Average — 92
High — 111
Low — 73

SAVES

Average — 44
High — 101
Low — 14

ERA

Average — 3.82
High — 3.23
Low —4.41

WHIP

Average — 1.28
High — 1.21
Low — 1.34

STRIKEOUTS

Average — 1242
High — 1452
Low — 1032

12 TEAM, AL-ONLY

RUNS

Average — 826
High — 914
Low — 738

HOME RUNS

Average — 188
High — 219
Low — 157

RBIS

Average — 802
High — 893
Low — 712

STEALS

Average — 123
High — 167
Low — 79

AVERAGE

Average — .271
High — .283
Low — .259

WINS

Average — 80
High — 97
Low — 63

SAVES

Average — 38
High — 74
Low — 11

ERA

Average — 4.12
High — 3.48
Low — 4.76

WHIP

Average — 1.32
High — 1.25
Low — 1.38

STRIKEOUTS

Average — 1038
High — 1213
Low — 862

12 TEAM, NL-ONLY

RUNS

Average — 791
High — 875
Low — 706

HOME RUNS

Average — 184
High — 214
Low — 153

RBIS

Average — 775
High — 863
Low — 688

STEALS

Average — 111
High — 151
Low — 71

AVERAGE

Average — .271
High — .283
Low — .259

WINS

Average — 87
High — 105
Low — 69

SAVES

Average — 38
High — 84
Low — 12

ERA

Average — 3.89
High — 3.28
Low — 4.49

WHIP

Average — 1.29
High — 1.22
Low — 1.35

STRIKEOUTS

Average — 1169
High — 1367
Low — 971

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Chicks dig ‘em, fans love to throw ’em back and pitchers despise them. Home runs kill a pitcher and can make his numbers, that would normally be decent and fun around children, look ugly and sad. James Shields was killed last year.  He looked like the starting pitcher versus the “Gas-House Gorillas” only he didn’t have a rabbit in his bullpen (which was actually pretty decent).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Orlando Cabrera taxied into Cleveland yesterday.  Does Cleveland’s middle infield of Orlando and Asdrubal remind anyone else of an embarrassing moment at Epcot that I blamed on a 5-year-old?  Probably just me.  Hopefully not too many mixed leaguers are doing handstands over this news.  Orlando Cabrera is good for 7-10 homers and 7-10 steals and by “good” I mean bad and not bad as in good.  Too bad Cabrera’s first name doesn’t start with an S, then he can be S-Cab.  Anyway, here’s some other fantasy baseball news:

Scott Podsednik – Signed with the Blue Jays.  Don’t the Jays already have Podsednik but call him Rajai Davis?  Perplexing news to say the least, though saying the least wouldn’t have me saying anything.  Maybe the Jays signed Podsednik because his wife keeps morale up around the clubhouse.  Wokka, wokka, wokka.  Right now, Podsednik will work as a fourth outfielder and will probably see around 400 ABs.  I’m not too concerned about Davis, Snider or Juan Rivera’s playing times.  They all need a rest once in a while and Rivera can’t stay healthy.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Oakland Athletics 2010 Minor League Review
Overall farm rankings via Baseball America (2010)
2010 (12) | 2009 (3) | 2008 (27) | 2007 (27) | 2006 (26) | 2005 (8) | 2004 (17)

Record of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [81 – 81] AL West
AAA: [79 – 65] Pacific Coast League – Sacramento
AA: [70 – 70] Texas League – Midland
A+: [74 – 66] California League – Stockton
A: [71 – 67] Midwest League – Kane County
A(ss): [42 – 36] Northwest League – Vancouver
R: [30 – 26] Arizona Rookie League

The Run Down
After the 2009 season in which the A’s saw eight prospects graduate, the 2010 season saw only one – Tyson Ross.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

No one carries two catchers in one catcher leagues.  If you do, you probably suffer from mushy brain.  There’s a cure for that, stop reading ESPN’s fantasy baseball advice.  So in 12 team fantasy baseball leagues, you have 10 to 15 catchers at any time to choose from off of waivers.  Hey, Miguel Olivo’s guest judging on RuPaul’s Drag U and he’s hitting!  What do you know, Rod Barajas looks less Barajas-y!  Skinny Pudge is seeing fat pitches!

Please, blog, may I have some more?