We almost went with the title, “Vlad to Answer Question – How Would Juan Gone Play at 35?”  But it wasn’t that good, but it’s good enough for the post content… You guys get the best!  So Vladimir Guerrero signed with Texas hoping to get some oil for his knees.  We’ll see, those knees are woefully low on viscosity and there have been murmurs about a thermal breakdown.  The Rangers are probably the best place for Vlad.  He’s historically been a beast in that stadium — .394 with 14 homers in 193 ABs.  Then again, that was against the Rangers pitching staff and 6 of those homers came in 2004 *cough* Chan Ho *cough*.  Vlad’s knees have had a tougher last few years then Amy Winehouse’s face.  I think he’s capable of a 25 homer, .300 season, but steals are no longer a part of his game and he has Utility-only eligibility, which really kills any value he might have.  So he’s that same old fart with that new fart smell.  Here’s another signing and what it means for fantasy baseball:

Aroldis Chapman – He fired the agent that smuggled him out of Cuba and went with an agent that told him it was a good idea to sign with a Dusty Baker-led pitching staff.  Now would be a good time for Chapman’s family to step in and make sure he doesn’t buy a million dollar stamp of an upside airplane and postmark it.  I went over Aroldis Chapman when he first defected.  It’s a fun read.  I counted only three typos.  His stuff is wicked awesome and his control is wicked awful.  But he wouldn’t be the first guy to struggle there.  Hello, Randy Johnson.  That’s a tall order, literally.  But he’s someone I’m excited about in keepers and deep leagues.  He should be owned in keepers from the jump.  In one year leagues, I’d take a flier on him in the final rounds to see if he breaks camp.  If he doesn’t, then you drop him.