The Yanks start Joba Chamberlain. The Mets start Pedro Martinez. The Red Sox start top prospect Justin Masterson.

You probably didn’t know any of that because traditional media is obsessed with Radhames Liz’s earning a win in his first Orioles start and Ross Gload’s struggles at winning back the Royals starting 1B position. That’s why we’re here. We like to muckrake.

So Joba was extended to 62 pitches tonight and made it all the way to 2 1/3 innings. He didn’t get hit. He couldn’t throw strikes. 4 BB in 2 1/3 IP. His control has been off all year – close to double last year’s rate. Not sure why the young Yankee pitchers forgot to throw strikes this year. I had better strike zone management playing wiffle ball in my backyard growing up.

Onto Pedro…nothing says “We missed you” like having your first start at San Francisco opposite Barry Zito. The control isn’t there yet for Pedro but his stuff looks solid for Met-era Pedro. Up 9-3 after 5 IP and throwing 90 pitches, it looked to everyone – including the announcers – that Pedro would be done for the night. But Willie was feeling a little grady (get it?) and sent him back out – probably b/c the bullpen was wiped after Oliver Perez’s 1/3 of an inning start the day before. Pedro gave up two straight hits before striking out two of the last three. Pedro’s relying on guile and his curve more than peak-era Pedro but this version could still win 10 games with decent ERA/WHIP/Ks. (BTW, isn’t it fitting that as one of Manny’s favorites goes on the DL, another one comes off? Everything turns out even steven for Manny – he’s like the Dominican Magoo.)

As for Justin Masterson, 6 innings of 6.00 ERA, 1.33 WHIP isn’t that exciting but he got the win against your 1st place Rays. With Dice-K on the DL, he’ll likely get another start or two. Depending on the matchup, he could be worth a flier. Based on recent Sox pitching prospect history, there’s an 100% chance Masterson throws a no-hitter in his next couple of starts. On a more tragic note, there’s a 50% chance that he has cancer.

Dan Uggla – Is 2B the new 1B? Uggla hit 2 bombs against Campillo and now only trails fellow second-bagger Utley for the MLB lead. When I look at his underlying stats, I’m surprised at how not surprising they are. Sure, his .300+ average is unsustainable given he has a Howardesque K rate of 30% (that’s 180K in 600 AB!). At that rate, he’s lucky to hit .270 the rest of the way. But he hit 49 doubles and 31 HRs last year. That topped Hanley on both counts (48 and 29). If he fell back to last year’s rate, he’s still got at least 15 more HRs left for this season. In a year where Cano no can do and Weeks is weak, it’s got to be nice being an Uggla owner this year….

Khalil Greene – …but, instead, I have this schmohawk. He also had an incredible number of extra base hits for an infielder last year (44 doubles, 27 HRs) that you could draft in late rounds. But he’s been Razztastic this year. .214 average with only 12 extra base hits (7 doubles, 5 HRs). You know how much it hurts to know that my Razzball SS (Cristian Guzman) is crushing Greene in all statistics?  If I had him in a shallower league, I’d drop him and pick him back up when I saw signs of life. For now, I’m just grinning and bearing it.

Albert Pujols – Left the game in the 4th inning due to calf tightness. Early reports of a hairline fracture were later corrected to a hairline recession.

Aaron Harang – 3.86 ERA, 1.26 WHIP, 74 Ks in 82 IP. In line with all expectations. Well, except he’s 2-8 now after being outdueled tonight by Adam Eaton. I assume most offenses try their best to hit for struggling starting pitchers. The Giants had to be pressing to score a couple touchdowns when Zito started the season on a well-deserved 0-fer streak. But Harang? The Reds offense just hates him. They turn into a deadbell-era offense. Hell, even Jay Bruce pretends to be mortal.

Zack Greinke – 6 IP, 8 ER, 4 HR allowed…Greinkes! He’s still a useful fantasy pitcher but consider him no higher than a 5th starter. Why? The Royals suck and Greinke is just a good pitcher. 4.00 ERA at best. A little better than average Ks. Since I traded him to Grey for a since-dropped Melky Cabrera, Greinke has thrown 45 IP at a 5.40 ERA and 1.36 WHIP. I can’t believe the ESPN experts think he’s going to be more valuable going forward than Billingsley, Maine, Burnett, and Marcum. If you can swap him for any of those guys, do it. Do it now.

Randy Johnson – Now #2 in career Ks. Mullet over for a bit. It’s hard to trump Clemens these days but the Big Surly did it. Solid start by Randy (8 K’s) but he got hit in the 6th and 7th. Arizona should be content if he gives them a solid 6 IP at this point..

Erik Bedard – Another bad start for the best Canadian pitcher in the game. Buy him now as the hockey season is almost over so he’ll stop being distracted. Just make sure Alanis Morissette or Bryan Adams aren’t playing in the same city where he’s pitching.

  1. john says:

    whats the value of 2nd tier(i.e Soria or Ryan) closers if you’re trading to a guy that needs saves? (aka what can i reasonably expect in return in a straight up deal)

  2. B.J. says:

    An owner in my league has been sending me offers for ARod for the past week. Trust me I’d love to get him especially with Kouzmanoff at 3B(Zimmerman on the DL lucky me haha), but I feel his asking price is way too high.

    His current offer is I give: Berkman, Hamilton and Sabathia
    I get: ARod, Hamels and King Felix.

    Mind you I traded him Felix along with Corey Hart for Berkman and Michael Young(have since traded him for Greinke) right before Berk’s monster May.

    I’m looking to upgrade my SP but I like Sabathia for a big bounce back after his horrendous start and would not be willing to move both Hamilton and Berkman in this deal.

    Basically what I’m asking is help me make a counter where I don’t have to give up both Hamilton and Berkman. I’d be inclined to do a Ry Howard for ARod straight up deal b/c he has a huge mancrush on Howard but I’m not sure I see him taking it, where I would then move Berkman to 1B and try to find the best OF available on the wire.

    His team
    C- Y. Molina
    1B- Loney
    2B- K. Johnson
    3B- ARod
    SS- Tejada
    OF- Magg-O, Burrell, Hart
    Util- Rowand
    Bench- Jacobs
    SP- Hamels, Felix, Dempster, Harden, Blanton
    RP- Mo Rivera, Marmol, B. Wilson, Mota

    My team-

    1B- Howard
    2B B.J. Upton
    3B- Kouzmanoff
    SS- Escobar
    OF- Berkman, Markakis, Hamilton
    Util- Votto

    SP- Sabathia, Pedro, Maine, Chops, Cueto, Kershaw, Greinke, Big Unit, Duchy
    RP- Soria, Capps, Smoltz
    DL-Zimmerman, Dice-K

  3. p0rk burn says:

    Sorry BJ, I don’t have time to play around with your trade right now – gotta run in a minute.

    @Rudy: Thanks for the shout-out to my boy D. U double-g. I think I’m personally responsible for the 2 bombs last night because he was teaching me a lesson for benching him in both my leagues. Now to really piss him off I think I’m going to try to flip him. Unfortunately, he’s one of the most undervalued players in the game. Nobody cares that Dunn will bat .240 and whiff enough to cool off the first 4 rows, but when a second baseman does it he’s a pariah. Dunn Uggla (copyright p0rk burn, 2008) needs to get more respect considering how shallow his position is. What’s wrong with you people?

  4. Frank Rizzo says:

    Bedard is a buy alright, if you can find an owner who’s frustrated enough to sell him at a low value.

    I’m one of those frustrated owners right now, but he’s obviously a hold because I’m never going to get the value out of him right now that I’d like.

  5. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @john: My short answer (the long answer appears elsewhere in a different thread; I’m sure people are getting tired of me pontificating about closers like I know something): 2nd tier closer should fetch a) 2nd/3rd starter, e.g. Hudson; b) young player doing well but w/out established track record, e.g. Carlos Quentin; c) useful-in-5-cats-master-of-none kind of guy like Hunter Pence. i.e., not a superstar, but someone with value. That’s who I’d target if I was shopping Soria. Don’t undersell him though, he’s been Baby Paps this year.

    @ Rudy: Nice column. Uggla’s driving me nuts, since about the day before his current hot streak started, someone offered him to me. I turned it down and wound up making the same trade but with Pence, not Uggla, in part because I have Upton at 2B (moving him to OF makes him less valuable, relatively) and in part because I don’t believe in Uggla. Still don’t. But damn, you’re right: the power seems real. Grrrr.

    Should I care about Joe Mauer? The guy in first is shopping him and I have Olivo at C, with Doumit on the DL. I need HRs, and Mauer’s got all of 1. I think I just answered my own question.

    Reasons I Hate My League #388: The same guy in first, in the same note, writes “How much do you wish you had Hamilton?” Uh, sure, I wish I had him, you lucky drafting bastard, just like every other non-Hamilton owner in Christendom. This guy’s team’s been drafting on Chipper and Hamilton’s and Cliff Lee’s unsustainable starts (and, lately, Milton Bradley) all year — but his fundamentals are weak, and I see a crash coming. Hard. If I had a first-place team built on Chips, Hamilton, and Lee, I’d be so nervous I’d be sweating urine right now.

    @B.J.: Who’s Chops?

  6. BSA says:

    Troy Tulowitzki dropped and on waivers —
    If you haven’t heard Rudy and I are grinning with our teeth grit together over Greene at SS, finally went 2/3 last night. A potential trade partner who has tulo just dropped him for Pettite. My active roster: Mauer, Morneau, Utley, Greene, Longo, Vlad, Pence, Bruce, Victorino, Quentin – my bench is Pence, Wells, Figgins
    Pitchers: Bedard, Cueto, Harden, Hudson, Kershaw, Lincecum, Shields, Papelbon, Ryan, Rauch

    Would you drop someone for Tulo? If so who? Make a waiver claim or risk him making it through waivers?

  7. B.J. says:

    McGowan. I call him that b/c of his mutton chop sideburns.

  8. BSA says:

    Are people hearing anything about Zumaya? Middle relief or close when he gets back off the DL? How does someone like Jones hold onto closer role with someone like Zumaya potentially throwing gas?

  9. Jeff says:

    It is truly incredible how you can make a guy at work at 8:30 in the morning laugh at a cancer joke. And Often. (ie. Make a Wish Fills Backorder)

  10. @john: 2nd tier relievers can fetch a surprising amount depending on how much the player needs saves. Try to target a team’s strength or a player that’s struggling. For example, I traded Capps earlier in the season for Victorino when he started slow. Grey traded Valverde last year for Abreu when he had a bad two months. So look 3rd OF types (Damon, McLouth, Kemp, Krispie Young, Pence, etc.) or 2nd/3rd SP types (Hudson, Wainwright, Vazquez, Burnett, etc.).:

    @B.J.: Your league swaps so many people around, it must feel like you’re at a homoerotic swingers party. You basically don’t want to deal Howard and Berkman in the same deal given 1B eligibility. So Howard/Hamilton/Kouz for A-Rod/Hamels/BWilson seems like a possibility but you’d be dealing 100+ HR and 300+ RBI for A-Rod and a good starter. Honestly, I’m not convinced you need a starter that bad. I’d rather stick w/ that team than break it up to deal for A-Rod…

    @p0rk burn: I’ve got to think Uggla has trade value at this point. Target a low HR team with an average 2B…

    @Frank Rizzo: It would be tough to get value for Bedard. Perhaps you can convince the guy by peppering him with ‘tough guy’ and ‘fuck face’ in the trade offer.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Looks like we value 2nd tier closers eerily similar (hadn’t read through the thread yet when responding to John). Yup on Uggla. I like Mauer for Runs/RBI/AVG. If you can get him for cheap, do it and then maybe look to package another low HR guy on the roster (perhaps with a reliever) for a HR threat.

    @BSA: Tulo’s been taking grounders and they’re saying All-Star break. The guy I like least on your team is Vernon Wells who is due back soon from a wrist injury. Tough call to drop him outright for Tulo but I’d do it. Wrist injuries sap power and V-Wells doesn’t have any to spare.

  11. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    How real is Jesse Litsch? Worth dropping either Garza or D. Cabrera?

  12. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Rudy Gamble: How cheap is cheap? The other guy wants saves: I have Soria, Rauch, Smoltz, Torres, Wheeler.

    I bet I could get him for Smoltz straight up.

    Smoltz worries me.

  13. @BSA: Assuming Zumaya doesn’t get struck by lightening or sprain his hand playing Grand Theft Auto IV, he’ll be middle relieving for at least a month before being considered to close. His fastball is back so he should be fine for K’s. Not sure whether he’ll be as lights out as he was as a rookie. Figure he’s back with the team next week. Not sure he’s worth stashing for a week or two but i know better than to argue with the Middle Reliever Love on this site…

    @Jeff: We’re evil like that. I think that last one puts a moratorium on it for now…. :)

  14. Frank Rizzo says:

    Well, that was short and not too sweet. Kershaw’s heading to the bullpen. In my league he’s going to be of almost no value now, unless if he’s getting saves.

    Surprisingly, Cueto is still on our WW and I may outright drop Kershaw for him since it looks like he’s starting to work some kinks out. A lot of guys are getting pretty gunshy about these rookie phenom pithchers and taking a wait and see approach. Don’t look for me to run out an pick up Homer Bailey.

    I’m actually pissed at myself for dropping Duscherer for Kershaw. Didn’t think there would be a chance of that when I made the move.

  15. @Baron Von Vulturewins: I think Litsch is more consistent than the other two but with less K potential. i just don’t feel comfortable at all with D-Cab so I’d drop him for Litsch.

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Smoltz worries me too. How about Torres/Doumit for Mauer. You’re upgrading his power and giving him Save potential. If you had to swap in Smoltz, the deal is chancier but probably worth it. Mauer will hit HRs at some point (maybe 6-8?) but should deliver the equivalent of at least 80 runs and 70 RBIs. Catchers are AWFUL at runs usually b/c they hit low in the lineup. Doumit might hit HR but he’ll trail Mauer by a lot in runs, some in RBI, some in average. Sweet upgrade.

  16. Frank Rizzo says:

    @BVV: Jesse Litsche looks like the real deal to me too. I freaking love Toronto’s pitching staff but don’t have a single one of them.

    I missed out on picking up Litsche when he was on our WW.

    If I were you I’d drop Cabrera in a heartbeat for the kid….but I’m not you.

  17. B.J. says:

    I think he might go for Howard/Kouz for ARod.

  18. BSA says:

    Since my league is a simple h2h points for s and k not middle relief inning work I will probably now move Kerhaw for Tulo and let the waiver period go by and take my chances.

  19. @B.J.: I trade Howard/Kouz for ARod in a heartbeat in your league. Kouz might have value if you had a cornerman and UTIL but, w/o it, he’s a marginal starter at best. Try it…

    @BSA: Can’t blame ya there. I’ve got Kershaw in two leagues. Going to wait out this news for a little while but might’ve burned #1 waiver picks for nothing…frigin roofies (glossary term)…

    @Frank Rizzo: Cueto is worth owning but has been a roller coaster so far. Just not striking out guys at the expected rate…

  20. Chase says:

    What should I do with Kershaw in an 8 team league…I have Holliday on the DL…Just drop him when Matt comes back? Sanchez, Cain, Cueto, Duchscherer, Danks, Jurrjens, Eveland. I could spot start til he comes back I guess. Also, I guess it depends on how he does tonight whether he will have ANY trade value.

  21. Baron Von Vulturewins says:


    Rotoworld is reporting that Smoltz may need shoulder surgery. is reporting that the Braves have scheduled a press conference for later today.

    On the agenda: How injuries are crushing the Baron’s team.

    Yes, yes — should have listened to Grey and shipped Smoltz out. Alas.

  22. @Chase: Hold on to Kershaw until tonight at least. Are you saying that Sanchez, Cueto, etc. are on the FA wire? If so, that should make dropping Kershaw that much easier…but, again, let’s see how he does at Home against a wounded opponent (Rockies).

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Ouch.

  23. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    It’s all right: I’ve been fairly lucky with injuries for three years, and now they’re hitting me all at once: Smoltz, Gallardo, Furcal… but I’m still in it, baby! Don’t stop believing!

    Another interesting tidbit from Rotoworld, in the category of Save Whores Alert:

    Manager Ned Yost indicated Tuesday that Salomon Torres could remain the Brewers’ closer even after Eric Gagne (shoulder) returns from the disabled list.
    Torres is 5-for-5 converting saves in place of Gagne, whereas Gagne went just 10-of-15 prior to landing on the DL.

    Now might be the time to make a lowball offer on Torres, especially if you were counting on Smoltz to close…

  24. Jeff says:

    Ah Baron- A faithful rotoworld reader- What an advantage over your league when other managers DONT use it!!

    Zumaya worth a look- fastball at A ball was clocked at 100mph- Will he close in Detroit when he returns?

  25. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: What about Gagne’s ability to generate dozens of holds? I’m a holdwhore, so I’m not dropping him. Same goes for Michael Wuertz and Rollie Fingers.

  26. Zebo says:

    @everyone: why is Broxton not getting any holds? He is supposed to have 30 hold potential, right now I am starting Torres, F. Cordero and Hoffman as 3 of my relievers along with Broxton. Before this, I had Leo Nunez (been dropped for Ben Francisco) in my SP slot, Broxton and healthy Casilla. I dropped injured Casilla for Headley yesterday (Papi needs DL slot more than Casilla), so now my hold harum consists of Broxton and a benched Chris Perez (who is not getting holds for some reason), I am in trouble, can anyone come up with a strategy to help me?

  27. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @IowaCubs: I have Rollie on my All Moustache Team. With him, Quiz, and Goose, my bullpen leads the league… in moustaches.

    @Zebo: Just the phrase “30 hold potential” makes me gag a little bit. Though “Holds Harem” is not a bad team name… since Flying Fluffernutters is apparently too long.

    @Jeff: @Rudy Gamble: True dat. I even told some knobs in my league about it to try and equalize the advantage. Plus it’s F-R-Double-E.


    @ Hive Mind: I offer this is a free gift: I just picked up Swisher, who’s been brutal this year, but he homered last night and is streakier than Soy Bomb. Just a hunch, but I think he might make someone look mighty smart a month from now.

    Feel free to check back in a month and ridicule me mercilessly.

    And, of course, if you’re in one of those “My OF is Holliday, Soriano, Sizemore, Beltran, and Berkman, with Dunn and Hamilton on the bench” leagues, please disregard this message.

  28. BigFatHippo says:

    What Baron said.

    Why the hell would I trade for a 41 yr old pitcher with a broken wing for anyway?

    kicking self……………….

  29. SaltyBiscuits says:

    Duchsherer or Wandy for the rest of the season?

  30. SaltyBiscuits says:

    With big Smoltzie down for the count, is Soriano the closer? How entrenched in the role is he?

  31. Zebo says:

    Drop Chris Perez for Rafael Soriano?

  32. SaltyBiscuits says:

    @ Zebo

    I would.. Perez is better pitcher but much less of a chance he ends up the primary closer this year.

    Go with Soriano.

  33. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: The Dook.

    @SaltyBiscuits: Soriano got the save last night. I’d say he’s first in line. Acosta wasn’t exactly lights out. Unless Soriano blows it, he’s the man.

  34. peter says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: Glad I stashed Soriano. Kust Cayin’, Grey. I think the role has to be his unless he totally blows it (looked good last night). Cox wanted him as the closer going into this season. Gonzalez is going to need some time to get comfortable again. And even then, the Braves need him to help solidify/strengthen their bullpen – what w/ the loss of Moylan and all.

    @Zebo: I would drop Perez for Soriano right now. Soriano’s currently getting save opps – Perez is not.

  35. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    p.s. re: Soriano. I already dropped Acosta and didn’t regret it. Bobby Cox likes to do this annoying thing where he pitches a lefty for one out, then bring in Acosta for the final two outs. If it’s a three-run lead, that ain’t a save. Thanks Bobby!

    Lesson learned (should have learned this in ’05 with Dan Kolb): Stay away from the Braves bullpen.

  36. peter says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: Definitely Duchsherer. To me, Wandy is still only 1/2 of a solid pitcher (home starts). He was good last night – but he was playing the Pirates. Duke’s even going later into games, now, too. With a nice bullpen to back him up.

  37. cockyphoenix says:

    Props for Radhames? You’re the man, Rudy.

    @Frank Rizzo: I hadn’t heard about this but all I’ve read says that he’s still the 5th starter and that Torre is just going to skip him when Penny is rested enough to start instead. Is it worse than that?

    @Zebo: Same question.

  38. SaltyBiscuits says:


    Hate to be all schadenfreudey but I am thrilled with this news of Smoltz. As a Mets fan, I hope that he is not only forced out of baseball, but that he also develops a terrible addiction to painkillers and loses the love of those closest to him.

    Also, it gives me a lot more leverage in trading Sherrill to a leaguemate who was “pretty sure Smoltz will be enough for my relief corps”.

  39. cockyphoenix says:

    I still am iffy about dropping Pérez for Soriano, but I think I’ll end up doing it. As for Liz, he only pitched one walk in a debut performance?! If by some miracle he’s gotten that arm under control, he may be worth a look. Of course he’ll probably walk about 17 next start.

  40. Frank Rizzo says:

    @cockyphoenix: I’ve misinterpretted what I was reading earlier I believe. He is the 5th starter but, with days off coming up, the Dodgers may be able to get by without using their 5th starter until mid-June.

    He may get some bullpen time then.

    My mistake.

  41. Chase says:

    Can you rank Billingsley, Maine, and Vasquez

  42. p0rk burn says:

    Dropped Hoffman (he had been sunning himself in the FA pool for a month before I picked him up not too long ago) for Raffy Sor. Hoffman currently looks like he is tuning up for his swan song with all these bad outings so Soriano seems like a better play even with Cox’s managing.

    If Hoffman does bow out Bell will be in great shape to take over.

  43. peter says:

    @Chase: In a keeper league, I like them in that order. For this year only? Vazquez, Billingsley, Maine.

    I’m very high on Billingsley. He hasn’t been striking out 2 batters/inning in his last few starts, but he’s now making it past the 5th inning without a problem. Coincidence?

  44. p0rk burn says:

    Chase: I like them as Bills, Vazquez, Maine

    Vazquez’s era seems a little low right now, I expect it to go up a bit before the end of the season. Maine hasn’t been horrible but he isn’t living up to the potential he showed in the first half of last season. Vazquez and Bills will definitely get you Ks.

  45. BigFatHippo says:

    Just dropped Smoltz for Acosta. Soriano already taken.


  46. BigFatHippo says:


    With pork on this.

    Bills, Vasquez, aine

  47. SaltyBiscuits says:

    @ Anyone interested…

    So the saga of Tim Hudson continues.

    I just pulled trigger on Sherrill for Hudson straight up, acting on kneejerk reaction of an owner who just lost Smoltz (and who’s other closers are Borowski and Wheeler).

    Funny to think I almost traded Vladdy for him.

    I’m happy, what do you all think?

  48. p0rk burn says:

    Hopefully Hudson’s leg issue is minor, but I might be behind the curve on this, haven’t been following too closely.

    Honestly depends on your team’s situation. If Sherill was entirely expendable and you think you need Vlad as (crappy) outfield insurance, good job. If you needed a closer and didn’t need the outfielder I think Hudson for Vlad wouldn’t have been a bad trade. I know I’m probably outnumbered on that but I do not see Vlad putting up his typical numbers this season. The dude is held together by twine and chewing gum at this point.

  49. peter says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: I don’t love Hudson, but I like the trade. I have a hard time believing that Sherrill is going to continue collecting saves at his current pace – even if it’s no fault of his own (sorry Os fan). Plus, Hudson is a very solid pitcher who will only receive improved run support for the rest of the season (Francoeur’s avg won’t stay .255 much longer, right?). If Gonzalez comes back healthy and Soriano stays that way, his bullpen has the potential to be one of the better ones in the division, too.

  50. Zebo says:

    i will leave Soriano alone then. Also, isn’t Kershaw better suited as part of the Holds Harem right now anyway? Granted, Broxton will take the 8th, but can Kershaw pitch in the 7th?

  51. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: I like the trade too. There’s a chance — tiny, since this is mostly fantasy speculation — that Sherrill will get traded and become a set-up man somewhere else before season’s end. Though this possibility gets floated a lot (people always said this about Fuentes in Colo.) but rarely seems to actually happen.

  52. p0rk burn says:

    The Cano owner in my league is visibly frustrated with his 2nd base situation. He’s rocking the O-dog at 2nd because of Cano’s failings. I’m tempted to try to swing an Uggla deal. He has Haren, Marcum, and F-her (don’t have faith in that guy even though I’m sort of from Seattle).

    I’m thinking an Uggla + mediocre pitcher for Cano (hoping he turns it around. Even if he doesn’t I’d just drop him) + Haren or Marcum. You guys think Uggla on his own could pull one of those two right now given his team’s struggles and Uggla’s binge?

    I’ve got Harang, even though everything besides his win/loss ration is good this season I’m tempted to try to upgrade. My other starters are Hudson, Shields, Bills, and Sabathia (not in the trade picture).

  53. BSA says:

    Hey BVV and PB, tag in my tulo posts #6 & #18 I like your two different perspectives.

  54. p0rk burn says:

    You obviously really need to do something about SS. Tulo is probably worth the hope that he comes back to last-season’s form after the injury. You don’t have too many droppable guys on your team. As I’ve said before I’m not a Kershaw believer, I agree with plan as laid out in #18.

    Whether he makes it through waivers depends on your league. Going off his name recognition I think someone will try to get him. Like Grey says, use your waiver priority to fill your needs. This is definitely a need.

  55. Zebo says:

    @everyone: I just picked up Soriano by dropping Chris Perez. As much as I would like to hope that Perez takes over, Franklin has performed well for STL and Izzie looms large. The allure of a potential closer is too great. Even though I am in a holds league, I hope Broxton will reward me with my newfound monogamist holds beliefs, as I have completed cleaned house and kept only him in the Holds Harem.

  56. p0rk burn says:

    @Zebo: You could have tried condoms if you were worried about disease, you didn’t have to go completely monogamous. I’m disappointed in you.

  57. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @BSA: I’d drop Wells, and yes, I’d make the waiver claim. I know I’m overly obsessed with draft position, but this is a guy whose ADP was in the third round. Definitely worth the gamble and the claim. With all those OFers, you won’t miss Wells.

    @p0rk burn: I think you could even get Cano + Haren/Marcum for Uggla straight up. But throwing in a mediocre pitcher won’t hurt. (Some people are allergic to two-fer-ones on principle.) Start with the two-fer, then “up” the offer.

    The time to trade Uggla is definitely now. In your negotiations, never underestimate the power of frustration. When someone has a struggling player, they often think of drafting that player as a mistake: so to them, trading the player for someone who’s hot feels like remedying that mistake. (I used this last year to get Atkins.) Ironically, trading someone at low value is just compounding the mistake — but I wouldn’t mention that to the other guy.

  58. BSA says:

    Looking at my bench and their injuries I am wondering what I am holding onto. Figgins a speed guy with a hammy and Wells a “power?” guy with a banged up wrist. Just thoughts on a Wednesday afternoon.

  59. p0rk burn says:

    @BVV: this would be a groundbreaking trade on my part because Uggla has been the team mascot the past three years. Maybe my incessant hyping him to everybody within ear shot will convince this guy its worth the deal. I don’t want Cano, I already have Kinsler and Yunel at 2b.

    @Everybody: who is the better target here, Haren or Marcum? Haren represents established success while Marcum is showing pretty impressive talent. Currently their numbers are pretty similar.

  60. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @p0rk burn: If you like Uggie, and are set at 2B, why not keep him? There’s something to be said for having a team of players you actually like. It makes it more fun. For this reason, I SHALL NEVER DRAFT A-ROD. Hate. That. Guy.

    Oh, wait: You’re trying to get a pitcher. My Alzheimer’s is acting up again. Which brings us to…

    Marcum v. Haren. I’d go Haren. National league, weak division, and a better team: the ‘Backs look like 95+ winners, and Haren should get plenty of those. Marcum, meanwhile, will get plenty of the Yanks, BoSox, and Rays.

  61. p0rk burn says:

    @BVV: I agree with you 100% (for once). I’ve been drafting Uggla the last two years (picked him up as a FA his rookie season – show me somebody that says they drafted him that year and I’ll show you a liar) solely because I like him.

    As an Uggla fan I fully expect him to settle back down to earth. I commented on this last week or the week before and I still think its true. He’s at best a .275 hitter. Now’s the time to move him for maximum value. I may lose some of the power and it might start to hurt me if Kinsler comes back down to earth but Yunel should put up numbers I can live with.

    Hopefully this deals works. The minute I offer it the league is going to accuse me of selling out. Don’t tell Uggla I did this.

  62. Zebo says:

    Micah Owings is completely buzzkilling me the last few games he started, giving 5, 6 runs, etc. Today he only lasted 3 innings. Is he droppable?

  63. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @p0rk burn: I have a few guys like that. I drafted Cole Hamels this year ahead of Webb and Sabathia because I’ve had him two years in a row and I love that guy. In fact, last year, when my team was barely holding onto first and in dire need of a big outing, he pitched that season-ending 8 IP shutout against the Nats with 13 Ks, and thus won my heart forever.

    Plus, I’m a sucker for mullets.

    Parra is stifling the Backs so far today, on the heels of another good outing. Is now the time to pounce? Drop D-Cab for Parra?

  64. BigFatHippo says:


    Current #s don’t mean as much if you look at Harens splits. Career 3.53 1.15 pre all star, 4.11 1.32 post.

    Then again what do we really have to compare with Marcum.

    I think Haren’s a prime sell high but Marcum may be too.

  65. peter says:

    Through 1/3 of an inning, in a save situation, Manny Acosta has crapped 4 runs (on 2 HR). Soriano’s job just got even safer. I suspect Soriano wasn’t pitching because he’d been used 3 times in the last 4 days.

  66. john says:

    @BVV, Rudy: Yea, thats what I was thinking I could get..I just despise my league’s unwillingness to do fair trades

  67. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @peter: This is Acosta’s goodbye kiss to me. I already dropped this mug this morning! But he’s still on my roster for today… ugh. I can’t even get the satisfaction of kicking his Acost-ass to the curb. Maybe I’ll pick him up just to drop him again.

    Plus, Cain gave up three in the first against the Mets. Grrrrr.

    Bruce better hit 3 homers tonight.

  68. SaltyBiscuits says:

    I’m with BVV here…

    Is it time to climb back on the ParraTrain?

    His final line was pretty filthy today vs. ARI.

  69. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Should move this conversation to the new post.

    See you there!

  70. SaltyBiscuits says:


    See what trouble you got us in? You’re the exact message board commenter my mother warned me about as a child.

    Do we get put in commenting “time out” or something?

  71. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Wait? Wasn’t I just here a minute ago? I had the most terrible dream… and you were there… and you were there… and you, Salty Biscuits, were there….

    My real problem is keeping up with the posts on the Razz All Star league home page. I need some email alerts or something.

  72. SaltyBiscuits says:

    Yeah… Yahoo message boards are the worst…
    “You’re tellin me I gotta click every single post!?”

    When the autodraft leaves me with an outfield of Andruw Jones, Josh Willingham and Brad Hawpe, will you be a dear and trade me for them? Much obliged.

  73. Grey

    Grey says:

    A’la Dr. Nick — Hello, Everybody!

  74. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: I wish autodraft had presets like “All Canadian” or “All Moustaches” or “All Molinas.”

    Grey: Thoughts on Parra? Interested in joining a fan club? I’m thinking Parra Militaries. Maybe Parra-Troopers. We’ll start a network of blogs, call them Parra-sites….

  75. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Grey: “Holy smokes! You need booze!” –Dr. Nick

  76. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: The same Parra who got rocked by the Nats two starts ago? The same Parra I picked for NL ROY three months ago? The same Parra all you honkeys were abandoning the last two months? Eh, he looked good today. Not sure if it’s a great sign going ahead. He’s be a few jimmies short of a sundae when it’s come to predictability. I wouldn’t stand in anyone’s way of picking him up though. He’s got great talent. Just a matter of putting it together.

    IowaCubs — Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon!

  77. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Or “all Iowans.” I’d have Casey Blake, both Hairstons, Joel Hanrahan, John Lieber, Ruben Gotay, Ramon Vazquez, Matt Clement and Tom Arnold. Take THAT Canada!

  78. SaltyBiscuits says:

    Ruben Gotay is really a product of Iowa?

    Did Des Moines gone through a sociocultural ethnic transition in the mid 90’s?

    Thought Ruben was Puerto Rican or something…

  79. p0rk burn says:

    One of my owners with Greinke (we tried to tell him to take some penicillin or rub some ointment on it) is offering me Greinke for H. Bell (not Heath, not Hater). You’re probably saying “So what” or, perhaps, “dammit, that p0rk burn guy is commenting again, he needs to shut the Eff up”, but I think there is a lesson for all you kiddies out there: I proposed the same deal to him 3 or so weeks ago and he laughed in my face. Look who’s laughing now, kid-that-will-never-get-laid-because-he-has-a-severe-case-of-Greinke!

  80. p0rk burn says:

    That should say “Heath, not Hater”.

    Way to fuck up a perfectly good post, dumbass.

  81. Grey

    Grey says:

    @p0rk burn: Trading for Hater Bell would be awesome. Greinke for Heath is a trade I would do in a second. Git R Done!

  82. p0rk burn says:

    @Grey: Too late, apparently he didn’t want to play my bluff so he dropped Greinke to the wire. In the same league the guy that dropped Francoeur for Liriano turned around and dropped Headley for Francoeur. I know I should have picked up Frenchy but I was waiting for him to clear waivers and stopped paying attention. You think Headley is worth a flier given the rumors of his impending arrival with Votto, Prince, Aramis, and John Stewart holding down 3rd/CI?

    Here’s hoping Prince is eating meat on the low. I’m liking his last 6 games.

  83. Grey

    Grey says:

    @p0rk burn: Guy dropped Frenchy only to pick him up again? You need to start using your waiver claim to screw these guys out of using the waiver wire as their own personal bench. You looked stacked at CI, I wouldn’t bother with Headley, unless you never see Stewart getting any time in at 2nd and simply being a bench guy. Then I could see switching Stewart and Headley.

  84. Endless Summer says:

    I’d grab Manny Parra. He pitches great at home, not so great on the road.

    @BigFatHippo: I want to trade Marcum. He’s had a great year so far, but he fell apart after June last year. I also think he’s attractive to pitching-starved teams for the same reason Volquez is: most people have only noticed them while they were incredibly successful from the beginning of this year. Not to mention all those AL East divisional games will jack up his stats.

    I thought about doing Marcum/Cabrera for Bedard/Street, but I’m taking on a lot of injury risk with those two. Still trying to figure out what I’d want in return for Marcum.

    Scientists will one day discover some of the true beauty of our universe by understanding how Jay Bruce dominates at baseball. This usually happens once every other generation, as computers, microwave ovens, helicopters, color tv, and an infinite amount more yet to be revealed were understood after Jay’s relative Bay Bruth dominated baseball.

  85. p0rk burn says:

    I would have jumped on Frenchy, but I already have Markakis at RF with Murphy as a back-up. Its hard to justify dropping Murphy while he is still hot when decent substitutes eligible across the outfield are hard to come by.

    I feel pretty good about my offense currently. The team has come a long way from its early season struggles and its actually starting to flex some muscle. Now I need to work on the pitching staff. The way the scoring is set up it pays to use most of your bench spots on SPs instead of bats. Some of these managers are trotting out 70+ innings of pitching a week and cleaning up the IP, W, and K categories. I think the move is to drop Slowey for Greinke and wait for another nice crumb to fall my way. How pissed is that guy going to be when I use my waiver for Greinke and still have Bell at the end of the week? Sucker.

    Regarding my other league, what are your thoughts on the Uggla for Haren trade I’m trying to work? If he (over)values Haren too much to pull the trigger I’m going to see if he doesn’t know what he has with Marcum. Again, don’t tell Dunn Uggla I did this or he’ll never speak to me again.

  86. Endless Summer says:

    Do you want Greinke? He did the same thing last year and moved to the pen until he started again in mid-August. He has a ton of talent, but his strikeout rate is down (7.82 to 6.22 this year), which makes sense since that is inflated due to his relief work last year.

    I have Marcum, and I would say to not offer too much for him. He’s doing close to what he did last year, except this year he didn’t start the season as a reliever (which he did pretty bad at.).

  87. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Endless Summer: Ha!

    @p0rk burn: You know how I feel about Uggla and I like Marcum and Haren, yet I’d prefer to hold onto Uggla. Are you that susceptible to the average correction that is on its way? If his average tanks for two months, it kills you? Sometimes the best trades are the ones you don’t make. Like in ’04 when Beltre started hot, I couldn’t trade him because no believed his home run power, so I held him and ended up much better off.

    If you’re desperate for pitching, go for Haren over Marcum.

  88. p0rk burn says:

    I’m definitely not desperate for pitching, just trying to improve my team a bit more. I’m currently first in this league. Kinsler and Yunel are my other second-basemen so I feel like moving one of them (preferably not Yunel because of his multiple positions) for a piece I could use elsewhere.

    I’m sitting on Harang, Sabathia, Bills, Shields, and Hudson in my rotation. Wouldn’t that list be a that much better with Haren?

    I suppose you are right but I feel like I’ve fallen through the looking glass; are *you* really the one telling *me* to hold onto Uggla? I can’t believe my eyes. In fact I just did a print screen to preserve this moment.

  89. Endless Summer says:

    Teahen homered in back to back games counting the one tonight. It seems like everyone’s forgotten about how good he looked in 2006 with the suck that is now the Royals offense.

  90. Grey

    Grey says:

    @p0rk burn: It’s me looking at you, looking at me, looking at you. Don’t try and understand it.

    Of course, you’re in first. You’re reading Razzball. Your rotation is f-i-n-e. Kinsler has just a chance of taking an average dump as Uggla. Why not move him? Have you given up on Uggla already? Is Uggla not wonderful enough for you? Dunn Uggla would not be happy if he heard you.

  91. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Endless Summer: Yeah, he sucked for a month and half and now he’s getting hot again. Ben Francisco is also 4-for-4 so far in the sixth inning.

  92. BigFatHippo says:

    @Endless Summer

    “the suck that is now the Royals offense”.

    Love it, when haven’t they been? 1985

    Early in the year I thought Trey Hillman was gonna start a Bobby Valentine bidding war.


    Ben ‘san’ Francisco ‘treat’ huh? Hmmm, gonna check him out.

  93. BigFatHippo says:

    Nope, don’t need an outfielder. Guess that’s why I haven’t looked at him even though seen you mention him 400 times.

    Dude’s rakin though, doesn’t K much either.

  94. Mark Reynolds is ranked 60th in yahoo…

    I’ve seen him sitting high up there on the waiver wire for a month and keep telling myself it would be silly to pick him up.

    But would it really be that silly?

  95. Also: would you drop Renteria, A. Hill, Mr. Francisco or Bourn Identity for David Murphy?

  96. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Freak: You can drop Hill or Renteria for Murphy? I’d do that.

    Reynolds? Eh. I’d pass on him, unless you need a CI guy.

  97. p0rk burn says:

    @Freak: Damn I remember studying this in my outline today, what was the rule of thumb . . .

    Murphy is definitely on a run right now, whats your outfield like? Do you need steals? The choices you’ve offered are a little too disparate to guess whats going on with your team. Looks like you have 2 spare MIs and an extra outfielder or two. Murphy isnt going to get you steals, so if you need a power and speed combo Bourn and Murph aren’t a bad tandem. Francisco is a little too raw for me to evaluate, you need someone else’s take on that. Hill is a schmohawk. Renteria is a schmohawk with better name recognition.

  98. john says:

    Maybe its the anti-histamine pills i took to stop the itching (i do still have a burning sensation) but I have faith in Greinke..sure 2/3 of his last starts have sucked but until then he hadn’t given up more than 3 runs in a game. The Greinke will rise again (hopefully without the sores)

  99. john says:

    100th comment on the 100th comment..yea!

  100. Here’s my offense…

    C Geovany Soto
    1B Adrian Gonzalez
    2b Chase Utley
    3b Aramis Ramirez
    SS Ryan Theriot
    OF Grady Sizemore
    OF Shane Victorino
    OF Johnny Damon
    Util Todd Helton
    Util Alex Rios
    Bench Renteria, Hill, Bourn, Francisco
    DL Clint Barmes

    It’s H2H and I’m currently first…standard 5 cats plus OPS…I like having a backup at all positions ’cause I hate days off.

    Hill is an okay plug-in, but with the concussion, I’m skeptical he’ll be any good the rest of the way.

  101. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Oh yeah — Cain blows up! Cabrera… blows up! Acosta… blows up real good!

    Not a good night for the Baron’s hurlers. The only one hurling successfully was the Baron.

    Joke of the night: Hey Manny Acosta! Don’t let the door hit you on the ass as I drop you! That would be the only thing not hitting you tonight!

    The door, I mean. Not hitting him. Because he allowed several homers.

    Yeah, I grabbed Parra. Yeah, I’m going to drop D-Cab for Litsch. Yeah, the back-end of my rotation right now looks like the back end of a horse with a horrible looking back end.

    This is turning out to be a long season.

  102. @Freak: scratch that, I like having a backup at most positions. But backup catchers are dumb and waste space.

  103. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Oh, did I mention Smoltz might be RETIRING? That beats all. “What, you lost a guy for the whole season? Well, my 6th round pick RETIRED.”

  104. p0rk burn says:

    Grey is right. Drop either Hill or Renteria. When Barmes comes off the DL you’ll be back to where you started back-up wise. You aren’t afraid he is going to lose his job or else you wouldn’t have DLd him, right? You can rough it a few weeks if you have to with either one SS or one 2b. I don’t think its the concussion thats going to keep Hill from being any good the rest of the season. This isn’t the NFL and he’s not Trent Green. I think its the lack of talent that will do him in. Hill will probably still be in the kiddie pool if you want him back after a while. He’s floating around with his water wings on in one of mine right now. Renteria on the other hand will get sucked up by someone like BVV who goes off of what you did for me yesteryear *cough O. Cabrera cough*.

    Exactly where do you plan on sticking Murphy? If I were you I’d have Damon riding pine and big Murph Dog in his spot.

  105. Enh, I generally just play who’s hot. Damon’s hitting something like .478/1.172 in the past week, so I’ll ride him until he starts nose diving and plug in a bench guy that’s picking it up.

    I’d really like to get another 2 or 3 type pitcher, so I might go that way.

    And I know about Hill, but he was a WW pick-up for me last year and I <3ed him so much I drafted him this year. I hate to give up.

  106. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Aubrey Huff or Edwin Encarnacion?

    Edwin’s kind off hot… Aubrey’s not sexy but he hits well in June.

  107. Re: Barmes…from what I hear, he’ll play SS until Tulo comes back, and then he’ll move over to 2nd.

  108. Why does Sportscenter bleep “pissed off”?

  109. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Freak: Cause they’re mor*ns.

  110. cockyphoenix says:

    Oh no. After I got Miggy T, I cast a line out with Theriot and I got back Brian Wilson. Now I have too many closers to play (Putz, Jenks, Capps, Nathan, Soriano). What should I do, try to upgrade my catcher from Dioner Navarro? Get a better 1B than Garret Atkins for fear of a trade? Or just sit and wait for Rafael to get hurt and rack up saves on the bench while I laugh at the lowly managers who don’t have saves to waste?

    My team is solid all around, with the weakest links so far this year probably being Navarro, Votto, Ríos, Putz, Kershaw, and Soriano. I made up an offer of Atkins and Putz for Fielder and Harang, but I’m not sure if I like it yet (we count CG, K/BB, L). Thoughts on that trade?

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