Two Startapalooza, Week 14: A Minor Problem

Times are grand this week in the wide world of Two Startapalooza! It is a palooza after all, which is the scientific term for pitching party. Can you imagine a carnival full of pitchers playing those games where you throw balls at the bottles and knock them over for prizes? They would win ALL of the giant stuffed bears. ALL OF THE BEARS. Leaving none for the shlubs like me that can’t hit 95 on the gun. How emasculating. All the girls would leave the normal guys and flock to the pitchers. I wonder if girls are still impressed by the really crappy pitchers? I mean, he still made it to the Major Leagues, which is super impressive. Who cares if he’s got a 6.30 career ERA? That man god paid. Speaking of such things, there are pitchers threatening to post a 6+ ERA this week in the bottom of this week’s slate. Tiers 3 and 4 are awash with capable options though, making this a great week for standard mixed league streaming. Let’s break down the options.

• Madison Bumgarner (SF) – Bummy had us a little worried with his first three starts, in which he gave up 9 ER over 17.1 IP with a 9:5 K:BB ratio. He has since strung together 15 shutout frames with a 16:4 K:BB. He’s back, baby!! The whiffs were finally back with his curve and change in his last start especially, with a 36% combined whiff rate. Heading into Colorado definitely sucks, but don’t get cute here. Only get cute at beauty pageants, or the prom. The Cardinals matchup should make up for whatever shortcomings he may suffer in Colorado.

• Robbie Ray (ARI) – Robbie Ray might have the name of an ATV mechanic from the deep south, but dag nabit can he pitch. *spits chew into his spittoon* He spent nearly two months on the DL, but got a nice cushy matchup with the Marlins in his return. He made the most of it, going six scoreless with just two hits allowed, two walks, and six K’s. Apart from a quick stretch where he couldn’t find the plate, he hit the corners of the zone well and mixed in both his curve and slider successfully. He gets not just one but two more gravy matchups this week, as the Diamondbacks will host the Cards and Padres. As long as he can limit the free passes like we saw in his last start, he should have no problem justifying this Tier 2 ranking.

• Jack Flaherty (STL) – A team was finally able to catch up to ol’ Cap’n Jack, and it was the powerful Indians. They knocked him around for four runs in as many innings in his last start, but overall this year Flaherty has been sensational. No, not sensual you creepy bastard, sensational. You need to stop reading those romance novels. Don’t worry if you’re aroused by great fantasy production though, that’s normal. Flaherty could arguably be in Tier 2, but I’m a bit more worried about the matchups than the numbers here dictate. The DBacks have been heating up in a big way lately now that Goldy is back on track, and the Giants are a sneaky tough test. All the same, I can’t imagine sitting him in any league.

• Tanner Roark (WSH) – Ugh. It’s been a rough correction for Roark in June, with a 6.08 ERA over 26.2 innings. He’s only a league-average strikeout pitcher, so he needs to keep the walks in check to have success. His 4.05 BB/9 in June simply won’t do. Sadly, every single one of his ERA estimators has him as deserving an ERA even higher than his 4.10 mark, so there is little hope that a positive correction is imminent. So why’s he in Tier 4 with a matchup against Boston on the docket? Ugh again. He’s a borderline Tier 5 guy at this point, but a date with the Marlins is the closest thing we have to penicillin in fantasy baseball. Of course, if you’re like me and you’re allergic to penicillin, you’re just screwed. User discretion advised.

• Mike Minor (TEX) – I fell out of love (or out of the ability to roster) Minor several weeks ago in the Top 100. Well, over his past three starts he’s been very good and is writing me love letters to try to get me back. I’m a hard sell, Mike! You’d better stick a candy necklace into that pink envelope! He has allowed just six runs over those 26 innings, striking out 18 with five walks. He really got away from his slider during his May woes, but it’s back in full force (27%+ usage) over this strong stretch. The whiffs are back too, with a season-high 21% whiffs on the slider in his last one, which was seven one-hit innings. Yeah yeah yeah, it was the Padres so we can’t take too much away, but he made the most of a gravy matchup and that’s what good pitchers do. That all said, he’s got brutal matchups this week with the Astros and Tigers, with the Tigers being strangely effective against lefties. Of all these cellar dwellers I’d be most excited – nay, least unexcited – to roll out Minor.

*All starters are probable for two starts as of Friday evening.

You can find Dokken on Twitter @NathanDokken.