O Lourdes’, Yuli, give us the strength to win our final head-to-head match ups. Give us enough power to steal back those roto cats. Oh great and wise fantasy Lourdes…and Yuli, I know you can help us! Friday night baseball’s Gurriel brothers, Lourdes of the Blue Jays and Yuli of the Astros, each hit two home runs. You go, Gurriels! It was the first time in MLB history brothers had multi home run games on the same night or something, don’t quote me on that google it. Joe and Dom? Sandy and Roberto? So jelly right now! Sounds like a great STUMP trivia question in five years we’ll never remember the answer to. Honestly though, these are the kind of family-centric stories baseball needs right now! With these look-at-me showboating young guns and their home run trots, and their fortnite dances and their neon cleats and their racist tweets. They’re disrespecting the game! Anyway, Yuli Gurriel (3-for-4, 2 HR (12), 7 RBI) is likely already owned in most leagues you have any chance of winning at this point but little brother Lourdes Gurriel (3-for-4, 2 HR (11)) is still available in over 90% of leagues and he’s hitting .400 with three homers and seven RBI in the past week. Lourdes have mercy! more like it. What is your MI doing? If the Lourdes is doing better grab him while he’s hot! Dude’s got a brother in the big leagues–that’s called pedigree, my fake internet friends. Justin and Melvin Upton the ball is in your court. Wait is Melvin still in the league? Doesn’t matter. It’s not stopping Stephen and J.D., who I hear are already planning a comeback for the record! Only the good Lourdes can save us then.

Here’s what else I saw in fantasy baseball Friday night: