Surviving The Summer With The Corners Report

My wife of 21 years and I both work in the public school system. You’re probably thinking it’s a wonderful time filled with Outer Banks days, watching baseball, and just generally acting like retired people in our late 40s. And true, those days do exist.

The flip side is that we go from seeing each other for just the evenings to being around each other all day. From 6 hours maximum to 14. That’s a ton of extra time together, and tons of life lessons that a wife teaches her husband. Guys, maybe you can relate? If not, there will be fantasy lessons in here too.

LESSON 1: THERE IS A CERTAIN WAY TO FOLD TOWELS.

I had no idea I was folding towels wrong. It was a model of space saving efficiency! But alas, there is a different way that it must be done. I have gotten three lessons on how to do it and still don’t really know how. Maybe caring about it is the issue?

I need to adjust my draft strategy. Gone are the days where power hitting corner infield bats that carry your offense are plentiful. Yes, Nick Kurtz and Junior Caminero exist. Anyone else? Nope! That’s two of the top twelve picks only.

It’s time to use my corners expertise to find value plays in the middle to late rounds, and I’ll write about that process. Or, I’ll just likely grab Vladimir Guerrero Jr. in the third and buy the dip.

LESSON 2: TUCK IN SHEETS WHILE MAKING A BED

A bed can look perfectly made. Smooth comforter, nicely fluffed pillows, even blankets on both sides. But that sheet will get you every time. You are in bed, and you feel your toes touch blanket, not sheet. Maybe she won’t notice? Maybe her side is fine?

Nope. All the blankets off and time for a full reboot.

A player I need to reboot my expectations for is Freddie Freeman. He’s still going to finish with over 20 HR, 90 runs and RBI, and a good batting average. The metrics haven’t changed from last year. I guess he’s just this, even though he’s 36. Every year I write that it’s the end of old Fred, and it never is.

So take the extra minute and tuck in sheets. And take the extra minute to look up the metrics on guys like Freeman. Good way to find value!

LESSON 3: JUST BECAUSE THE DISHWASHER WASHED IT DOESN’T MAKE IT CLEAN

Anyone else do this? You put away dishes from the dishwasher without a care in the world. All is peaceful. But then, a random bowl comes out with a piece of lettuce that probably causes explosive diarrhea. Is that my fault? No, I say NO! That’s machine error.

Another error was assuming Austin Riley was about to go on a heater. Or, did you listen to me and say, ah, Mets? Well, his last week is a .214 average with zero HR and striking out 14 times in 28 at-bats. So check your cups, and check your hot streaks. Like Riley, there is probably some hidden gunk.

LESSON 4: CLOSE DOORS IMMEDIATELY.

Or even better, teleport through so you don’t even have to open it. Living in the Dismal Swamp of NC, bugs are plentiful. Heaven forbid a mosquito makes it in the house. It can’t just be random; clearly I took too long entering a doorway. Shut the door so fast that a breeze goes through and knocks papers off the table.

Speaking of breezes, Jazz Chisholm Jr. and Jac Caglianone have had enough whiffs to power a wind farm lately. Jazz in the past month had been pressing; he’s at 40%. The combination of impending free agency and missing two key members of the lineup due to injury seems to be killing Jazz in fantasy. He’ll still get steals, but the batting average and power will continue to disappoint until he gets the contact rate under control.

Caglianone swings for the moon, figuring that even if he misses, he’ll land among the stars. Unfortunately, his hot streak ended, and he’ll be streaky until he manages contact a bit better. In his last 30, he has a .193 average and .190 OBP. It’s true, even though the math doesn’t seem correct, his average tops his OBP.

So yeah, don’t leave doors wide open, and don’t pick guys who have major contact issues, okay? Don’t let the breeze come in.

Can y’all relate? Any more life lessons you’ve learned, or I guess fantasy since this is a fantasy site? Thanks for reading and have a great week!