Yesterday Ramon Something-or-other hit two home runs. Ben Zobrist (a quarter Jewish, not too shabby!) hit two home runs. Others getting in on the action were Mike Hessman, Ryan Raburn (who sounds like he should be dating Angela Lansbury), Casey McGehee, Control Alt-Delete, Jeff Bailey, Francisco Cervelli, Cousin Jerri and lots of dudes that don’t even have pictures in their ESPN player profile so I just assume they all look like a young Micah Hoffpauir. With half of these guys, you don’t know if you’re watching your brother Rob or Disco Bob. You name ’em, and they’re starting right now. Really bad time to be trying to make up some offense. Your absolute best bet right now is to load up on Brewers, Mets, Twins, White Sox and Phils. There is also something to starting guys that are going against these teams. Many times opposing managers will play their regulars as an unwritten law of sportsmanship. (Oh, no! I wrote it!)  Finally, look for guys that are going for personal accomplishments. For instance, Mussina goes this Sunday for his 20th win. The Yankees and Mussina will give it their all on Sunday. Everyone else, there’s no saying if they’re going to start. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Mariano Rivera – Done for the year with a sore shoulder. I imagine Girardi’s so pissed at the mess Torre left him that he can’t even watch a movie that stars Paul Sorvino. Joba Chamberlain will close in Mariano’s place.

Pedro Martinez – Pedro really wanted to help the Mets in some big games. He’s not. It’s actually pretty depressing watching him pitch. He was incredible for some many years. Last night I kinda felt like I was watching him for the last time. Guys who carry around dwarfs aren’t supposed to go out like this!

Micah Hoffpauir – 5-for-5 with 2 HRs yesterday. He had a huge season at Triple-A this year and should see playing time this weekend. Definitely worth a look.

Scot Shields – Got the save yesterday and might get more this weekend as the Angels prepare for the playoffs.

Cliff Lee – Good chance he does NOT pitch on Sunday. (Supersized “not” is for our elderly readers. Hey, they’re showing Car 54, Where Are You? reruns! Ever notice how old people always specify when something is a rerun? Like we didn’t know a show that was off the air for 20 years wasn’t live.)

Mark Reynolds – Sets the strikeout record with 201 Ks. In the beginning of the year, Reynolds said he would not let striking out hinder his approach at the plate. Here’s the thing, Whiffie. 201 strikeouts kinda hinders your approach at the plate. Cust kayin’.

Anibal Sanchez – Lost his last start of the year to rain. Damn, Joba, stop dancing.

Troy Percival – Returned to action yesterday. Had this to say, “The run in from the bullpen is a bit much. Maybe we should bring back the bullpen cars.”

Yovani Gallardo – Did what was expected. Pitched well for 4 innings. Thankfully he didn’t reinjure himself. But there’s always the playoffs.

Carlos Gomez – 4-for-5 yesterday. Obviously he likes playing in April and September.

Kaz Matsui – 3-for-3 yesterday. He’s hit in 7 straight. Those chasing steals in these final days might wanna look at K-Mat aka Godzilla Jr.

Ichiro Suzuki – Supposedly some Mariners players wanted to knock Ichiro out. As in punch him and not stop. Here’s the story. Few things spring to mind — Point #1, All the players on that team and Ichiro is the one you want to beat up? The Mariners play the blame game as well as they play baseball. Point #2, Have any of them seen him run to first? Who was going to catch him? Carlos Silva? Which brings me back to point number #1. Beat up Carlos Silva! Point #3, Ichiro will crane kick your ass. Wax on, wax off, Jose Lopez.

  1. cruisinkc says:

    Will Looper get me a QS tonight vs. Cin?

  2. cruisinkc says:

    And which of these guys are the best spot starts for tomorrow?
    Kuroda @ SF
    Moyer vs. Wash
    Ryan Rowland-Smith vs Oak

  3. Frank Rizzo says:

    Torre’s early pull of almost all the regulars early last night scared me. They have nothing to play for these last few games. I dropped Ethier last night and picked up Milton Bradley. I have Markakis in right and Holliday in left but I’m platooning Victorino, Bradley, and/or Milledge based on needs and matchups. I’m thinking guys like Ethier and Manny may be completely useless these last 3 days.

    That Rivera injury may help seal the deal for me in my championship. We’re tied with 3 Saves apiece….he has Rivera, I have Papelbon and Joba…..and since Joba is SP/RP eligible, it means I’m able to play 2 closers these last 3 days. I like my chances.

  4. BigFatHippo says:

    With 3 days left in the season I’d down to 1 game left in my outfield. If I’m not mistaken, starting Ludwick, Maggs and Grady tonight all their stats will count right?

  5. Grey

    Grey says:

    @cruisinkc: re: Looper — There’s a decent possibility for it, and if I were desperate, I’d go for it. He’s pitched well against the Reds and he’s been usable lately, if just a bit uninspiring.

    re: tomorrow — Moyer, Kuroda, Rowland-Smith, in that order.

    @Frank Rizzo: Going from Ethier to Bradley is a solid move.

    re: Rivera — Hey, whatever it takes.

  6. Frank Rizzo says:

    Is there a secret way to keeping up on weather along the east coast beyond

    What are the chances of Phillies, Orioles, Red Sox games being cancelled? And if they are, what are the chances of double headers happening then on Saturday?

  7. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: “Is there a secret way to keeping up on weather along the east coast beyond” — I can give you my Mom’s number.

    There’s supposed to be a lot of rain on the East Coast and there’s a good chance that all games that aren’t necessary to figure out the postseason may not be played at all and completely washed out.

  8. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Grey: So then the Sox/Yanks games and the Phillies/Nats games could turn into Saturday DH’s while the Orioles/Jays game would just be cancelled? I do believe the Red Sox still have something to play for at the moment.

  9. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: The Sox have something to play for now, but the Rays could make that moot. The Phillies/Nats game will be played for sure.

    BTW, if you click the arrow next to the time, it adds the @ and Name.

  10. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Grey: Oops. Didn’t know that.

    If I win this thing, I’m going to owe a lot of it to Razzball. This is my 1st year ever playing FB and I didn’t have a clue what I was doing most the time. I’ve learned a lot. It’s been fun. I’m not sure if I’ll do it again. I’ve been into Fantasy Football for over 10 years and love it. Baseball is overwhelming. It takes way too much time. If I win I’m going to take my cash and go out on top……….maybe.

    Thanks for all the help.

  11. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Well, we hope that you stay a regular reader and continue to play fantasy baseball. Either way, glad we were able to help this year.

  12. cubbies299 says:

    Good call on Gallardo. Spot on, Grey. Keep on fighting the good fight, even if there’s only like 10 of us left that still have a vested interest. Kinda funny to think that if Reynolds k’d 201 times (and I’m assuming his avg is probably somewhere in the .240 dept and am too lazy to look up), he must be hitting like .999 on the balls he puts in play. Cust Kayin’?

  13. Grey

    Grey says:


  14. Bob says:

    Pork, great win!! JOB Squad and KC, you both did yourselves proud. Congratulations to all the teams who finished in the money.

    Little noticed was my coming from behind to fault into fifth, and then lose out on the last day and end up sixth.

    However, it was still fun. Hopefully we’ll play a full season next year and perhaps go back to a traditional 10 category league.

    Have a great off-season everybody.

    And Grey, thank you very much for your incredible insights and your dedicated responses to our questions. You were incredible. I had four other Yahoo leagues this year and won three of them, while finishing second once. You were a huge part of that.

    For me, baseball goes on as my L.A. Angels of Anaheim go after their second World Series after winning 100 for the first time and sporting the major league’s best record. Both me and the one other loyal Angels fan are very excited. The rest of the country finds my team Yawnstipating.

  15. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Bob: You’re welcome, Bob. Glad I could help.

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