Well, the All-Star break happened and now here I sit. Only three games of data to expunge my sort of genius onto the masses… that’s like the Gettysburg Address stopping at “four score and seven”. So with limited research, I gotta get creative with words. Like, have you checked out Fantasy Soccer, yeah… it’s that oddly shaped ball at the top of this page. Don’t play? Well you should. So onto the number seven with bacon. Also known as the KC stealer. Over the past 15 games that oddly enough dates back when we were still celebrating fireworks and stuff, Whit Merrifield leads the majors in steals with 7. Big deal, 7 whole steals! Well, the steals bandwagon has lost some steam this year with Billy not doing consistent Billy things and Trea doing game-ready stuff at Chuck E. Cheese’s, but strangely enough he still needs an adult with him. Curse you baby-faced guys! Whit isn’t just a dead stick as he has revitalized the Royals line-up, as they have an unbelievable record since his insertion into the leadoff spot. It’s not George Springer-type good, but for SAGNOF, we take what we can get. Currently owned in half of the ESPN leagues, which means that he is owned in every RCL league (basically), so kudos for all of us that are paying attention. But on the happenstance that he isn’t owned, go grab him, do it gently though, he pees when he gets nervous.
Keon Broxton – What the heck happened? Was on a nice pace in all categories and then July hits. 1 HR, 3 steals and 7 total runs/RBIs. Not what you need from the Brewers outfielder. Heck, the Domingo Santana thefty wagon has 2 also in the same timeframe. Captain obvious say’s “at least he has 3 steals.”
Cesar hernandez – He has finished his rehab training of dogs and is now on the scamper to do things in Philly. He is just in time for the Phillies to completely punt in preparation for another year of disappointment from the Eagles.
Starling Marte – Returns from suspension today and we should expect a steroid-induced boone to your stolen bases if you held onto him.
Billy Burns – Got called up, for those of you in deep like an abyss leagues, he may pay dividends.
Stephen Vogt – Has had 11 straight steals taken against him, 47 on the year. He is the everyday catcher there. Wanna stream target from the honey jar of knowledge…that’s it.
Keone Kela – Is throwing bullpens and should be back by the end of the weekend or early next week. Committee’s are zero fun unless it’s like a fact finding mission to find saves. Confused? Me too. Donde esta un pantalones?
Justin Wilson – Is a frothy name in the trade market right now. From the looks of it, the only person that is safe in Detroit is the Bobby Higginson statue and Miggy. Alex Wilson may get one save, establish his closer value and then Bruce Rondon should take the reigns for the remainder.
Ryan Madson – Because of course Matt Grace got the last 2 saves for the Nats as Dusty continues to play save roulette or Keno or bingo. If the Nationals don’t make another move, Madson, Doolittle, Grace, Albers and when he ever gets back, Albers will all be save candidates. SAGNOF to the max.