Our fantasy master lothario is a reality show junkie. He’s got me hooked on Master Chef, as it has become a religion this season. Shark Tank is the best background noise for me when I’m doing work, real or fantasy. But there is one show that he has never watched called Naked and Afraid on Discovery. In case you are not familiar with the premise: two people, one man and one woman, are dropped in a remote location and must survive 21 days with only their birthday suit and one survival item. Most take a machete or a fire starter… or that one guy that brought duct tape. Funny side note, I was peeking on Wikipedia and they pointed out that even though most struggle with the bare feet, that no one has taken a pair of shoes yet [Jay’s Note: Probably because you can’t do much with one shoe.]. It was a good show that sometimes had great episodes. Well, this year, they went big with Naked and Afraid XL. At first I thought it was going to be fat people surviving and losing weight, but it turned out that it was four teams of three previous contestants dumped into Colombia and surviving 40 days. The show is f***ing awesome. Anythehoo, is that enough filler Jay? Kidding, I bring up this show because we are at about day 17 in our 21 day journey, and have stripped ourselves of all that we were on draft day and are surviving on strategy, schmotatos, streamers and a little good old fashioned luck/voodoo/prayer circles. Before I go, I got a little football plug from the football side about Football RCL’s, which by the way, I’ll be writing this year. I can’t leave Brotha Jay hangin’ like that… Want to expand your RCL prowess? Our Fantasy Football Commenter Leagues are now open, and we have some really sweet prizes for you this season…

 

CATEGORY LEADERS: WEEK 20

 CAT  STAT TEAM LEAGUE
RUNS 72 kumamoto expungers The Captains of Outer Space
HR 26 rocky mtn oysters, Full Baked Euro Razzball, WET TAIL!!
RBI 72 Vin Ridiculous Nova Scotia
SB 15 So Cal Quakes Eff fWAR
AVE .392 Team SINGMAN Zitos Meatballs
K 125 Happy Vegans Razzball Champion’s League
WINS 9 Team harris, I’ve got Wood. … Phrasing!, Enrico Polazo’s Strike Zone CharlieHustlers, Take on Jay #1, Tehol and Taints
SAVES 14 THE HEAT IS ON The Filthy Spawn of Beddict
ERA* 1.26 Girl Number Four Lester’s RCL #2
WHIP* 0.69 Pittsburgh Lumber Company Night of the Living Zombinos

 

RCL TOP 20: WEEK 21

This is the best around!… For the season… so far. Do you want to be Daniel Larusso? Then you got to beat all the Cobra Kai’s and win the All Valleys RCL Championship. Word around the office is that the grand prize is Sky jumping out of a cake in your living room and doing a strip tease to the the tune of Moment of Truth by Survivor. The table below contains the rank, team name, league name, RCL points, League Index and League Points.

# Team League Points LI LP
1  Cram It  FCL 117.01 109 96
2  Unpainted Arizona  HA! 114.91 103 110
3  Astros to Mouth  Spiders and Snakes 113.76 100 113.5
4  Backdoor Sliders  Razzball Champion’s League 112.24 107 93
5  Pittsburgh Lumber Company  Night of the Living Zombinos 109.75 104 101
6  Soler Powered  Two Out Rally 109.61 101 107.5
7  My Mustache Has A Mustache  Lester’s RCL #2 109.43 102 105
8  Wake Up  FCL 108.20 109 86
9  RA the Rugged D ickeys  King Ralph’s Emporium 108.17 102 105
10  Big Magoo  Take on Magoo 107.04 101 106.5
11  I’ve got Wood. … Phrasing!  Take on Jay #1 106.38 102 101.5
12  Money Ballers  JB’s RCL 105.87 102 103.5
13  Sporkcroft !  FCL 105.82 109 82.5
14  John Boccabellas  The Downward Spiral 105.61 103 99
15  Don Mattingly’s Sideburns  Cougs R Us 105.28 105 93.5
16  Big Magoo  ECFBL 104.79 106 92
17  Tony’s 5.5 Hole  Take on Jay #1 104.54 102 102.5
18  Jersey Moose  Walking On Sunshine 104.40 103 99
19  Backdoor Sliders  Night of the Living Zombinos 104.40 104 96
20  Team Albright  RCL ‘Perts 104.37 103 99
  • Frequent angry commenter Cram from the FCL takes over the top spot. Last week I talked about his improvement from last season and now he gets to wear the yellow jersey. No sleeping at the wheel Cramarino. We should flood my comments with catcher questions. He’ll appreciate that.
  • Astros to Mouth joins the top 3 for the first time by knocking out Backdoor Sliders who was looking like he was going top three wire to wire…..or at least it felt that way. Astros has the highest total league points in the top 20.
  • The Big Magoo and Backdoor Slider have two teams in the top 20. That’s amazing! Last week, Backdoor had two in the top 10, but now must settle for two in the top 20. It’s good to see Magoo flexing his RCL Man Muscles. Still, IMHO, one of the best RCL players I have had the privilege of playing with. If you guys and girls want a challenge next year you should join one of his RCL’s. I’m sure he’ll have lots of them.
  • Grey ends our list and I am contractually obligated to mention it. I’m sure I’ll get a text telling me to talk about RCL ‘Perts league complete with screen shots. (He’s beating the crap out of us) Since I’m being obligatory to Grey, I’ll take my last words to point out I’m here too for the second straight week. Sporkcroft!

 

VIN’s  HEAVY LIFTING

As many of you know, I am just the proxy of the RCL Data. Vin and Rudy are my Hawk and Animal of numbers and tidbits. Occasionally I get an email from Vin with interesting points about the RCL’s and today was one of those days. Thanks for all the great insight Vin!

CharlieHustlers  

1) Philly Jawns – 90 (Mike)
2) Rock Ridge Express – 89.5 (Slew, who also owns top 10 overall Astros to Mouth)
3) Team harris  – 89.5 (Gareth)

  • Mike has only made 19 acquisitions while the other two teams have combined for nearly 700. They all have 50-60 game starts left with points to be gained in W’s and K’s. BTW, this is Prospect Mike’s league if you haven’t figured that out yet.
  • In Grey’s comments, Gareth has been bemoaning his trading away of Hot Carrasco Sauce for Perkins and Storen. Well kitty cat, through that deal you have the edge on the highly coveted Wins (3 to 2).

Beddict’s butth*le pleasures 

Baltimore Scorioles – 87
Buge Hoobs – 87
Team Beddict – 80

  • The only league with a tie for the lead currently, with Tehol not too far back.
  • Buge Hoobs finished off their starts on Tuesday, so could be dropping in Ks and Ws.

Take on Jay #1

Tony’s 5.5 Hole – 102.5
I’ve got Wood. … Phrasing! – 101.5

  • The only league with 2 teams over 100 points.

The Underground

Mother Fireball – 85.5
The FreshPrince Of Hell’s Lair – 85
Bob Lawblah Law Blog – 80
Vancouver Rains – 77
Ray Hill – 76.5
Tennessee Jed – 75.5

  • Five teams within 10 of Curt’s league leaders, including Razzball favorite Nick Donovan a half point back.

Blues Odyssey

naples cardinals – 93
Wood Street Wonders – 91.5

  • At the break, the Wonders were ahead by 23-and-a-half points.

Hamiltons Dandruff

Dr Freeze Signd Scalpel – 108
Team ford – 82.5

  • At the break, Dr Freeze was ahead 91 – 90. On July 23rd, Dr Freeze traded Arenado for Kershaw.

 

Top Offensive Performances of the Week

Team League H AB Ave R HR RBI SB
rocky mtn oysters Euro Razzball 99 312 .317 65 26 62 8
Team walker Johhny’s Bench 93 290 .321 59 24 71 4
Vin Ridiculous Nova Scotia 92 310 .297 55 24 72 8
Adderall Admirals Beddict’s Chosen Disciples 103 323 .319 70 17 44 14
Full Baked WET TAIL!! 98 341 .287 66 26 65 4
Astros to Mouth Spiders and Snakes 94 339 .277 68 24 55 10
Unpainted Arizona HA! 95 321 .296 69 24 58 5
Papi Van Winkle The Donkey is a Unicorn 97 310 .313 57 19 59 10
Don Mattingly’s Sideburns Cougs R Us 108 324 .333 70 17 42 9
Rock Ridge Express CharlieHustlers 105 338 .311 66 18 53 9
Kid A Jawns 100 320 .313 62 17 51 11
el oppo taco Blues Odyssey 89 269 .331 61 16 48 10
Vin Raves Razzball Riverboat 95 307 .309 63 17 57 9
Team AL KOHLIC ECFBL 103 325 .317 58 18 57 7
The RCL Hack Razzball RCL Writers League 86 315 .273 64 23 53 8
I have gerbils in my butt Northern Exposure 97 352 .276 60 20 53 11
M’Altuve Carter Saskatchewan 100 298 .336 56 17 44 8
Philly Jawns CharlieHustlers 95 305 .312 58 19 48 8
Werth Can’t Drive 55 Muscle Car Fanatics 101 317 .319 54 14 53 11
The Grand Dudapest Hotel The Game of Throws 92 315 .292 59 21 57 5

 

 

Top Pitching Performances of the Week

Teams League IP ER ERA K BB HA W WHIP Saves
Astros to Mouth Spiders and Snakes 96.2 24 2.23 95 16 74 5 0.93 9
Gabba Gabba Hey! The Donkey is a Unicorn 52 8 1.38 56 10 28 5 0.73 6
Dr Freeze Signd Scalpel Hamiltons Dandruff 56 8 1.29 59 15 38 3 0.95 6
Don Mattingly’s Sideburns Cougs R Us 59 11 1.68 66 18 40 5 0.98 9
Team Balls Muscle Car Fanatics 64.1 12 1.68 70 15 50 5 1.01 3
Pittsburgh Lumber Company Night of the Living Zombinos 55 11 1.80 56 8 30 6 0.69 3
Team Frost Cougs R Us 62 14 2.03 56 13 38 3 0.82 9
Dr. Freeze Drivethr Xpres Hoodie Dreams 66.1 14 1.90 63 19 55 3 1.12 10
Vancouver Royals Walking On Sunshine 85.2 21 2.21 77 21 59 5 0.93 1
Oh Melvin Upton my grill 58.2 10 1.53 64 13 46 3 1.01 2
Girl Number Four Lester’s RCL #2 43 6 1.26 46 7 27 4 0.79 4
Maggot Brain FUBAR 70.2 16 2.04 73 17 53 6 0.99 2
The Iron Horse Yeast Infection Inspections 53.2 11 1.84 53 15 40 4 1.02 10
Team Czerwinski Grey’s Mustache Wax 66 13 1.77 62 19 51 4 1.06 1
Buge Hoobs The Game of Throws 50.1 9 1.61 53 8 34 2 0.83 4
SanPedro Guitarristas HA! 53 10 1.70 61 12 33 4 0.85 1
Team Albright RCL ‘Perts 58.2 14 2.15 63 14 32 3 0.78 7
Chitown Beatdown Hunter’s Hitters 74 18 2.19 70 17 58 4 1.01 5
kazakhstan tigers Take on Jay #8 46.2 8 1.54 40 7 37 6 0.94 3
Dee’s Nuts Pretty Hate Machine 69.2 15 1.94 65 20 59 3 1.13 4

 

 

 

 

 
  1. mauledbypandas says:
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    some of these team names give me the giggles. Well played Mr. or Ms. “I have gerbils in my butt”

    Didn’t know Richard Gere was a fantasy baseballer (Grey’s mom’s term!)

    • J-FOH says:
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      @mauledbypandas: HA! Love the names, I really need to organize a contest next year.

      He’s a baller. You brought a really interesting concept up. Is a gerbil in the anus a good thing or bad thing for a fantasy baseballer? The BAD – My team sucks, it’s like having a gerbil in my butt? The GOOD – “I’m kicking everyone’s ass, this feels as good as having a gerbil in my butt!”

      • mauledbypandas says:
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        @J-FOH: Good point. I would assume that if a Gerbil somehow ends up in your butt it is by choice and therefore a pleasure seeking event. So I vote for it as a statement of exaltation.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @mauledbypandas: agreed…..iif I wasnt at the office I would post the south park with lemewinks and mister slave….oh jesus christ

        • mauledbypandas says:
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          @mauledbypandas: Also notice that it’s not just one gerbil. I mean you can’t just send one gerbil into your butt alone, he needs a friend to share the experience.

          • J-FOH says:
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            @mauledbypandas: sharing is caring… in the butt

  2. Hater Bell

    Grey says:
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    I’m the greatest (at least top 20) fantasy master lotharios of all time!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Nice avatar photo, Grey-a-quiles!

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: I’m so confused right now, is evil Karabell pretending to be Grey? Is Grey evil Karabell? Is Karabell really evil and mustached Karabell good? I got questions and need answers *slams fist on keyboard* ju h;/.’

  3. Tehol Beddict says:
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    Naked and afraid Xl is based on penis size, is it not?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: Tehol, thanks for coming in. I had a hunch if I put Naked in my title it would be like a calling card for you.

      That’s a good question, I might have to go back and see if the pixelated are larger in XL, it may be some kind of weird inside joke.

      Great show though, totally worth the watch

  4. royce! says:
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    Wow, seems like the only way to win the overall championship is to be in the FCL or Champion’s League. It’s fair, as those leagues should be harder, but it certainly discourages me from caring about the rest of the season. Ah, who am I kidding? I’ll be playing just as hard because I can’t quit this shizz…

    Anyhoo, has anyone in an RCL ever made more than 1000 moves? There’s a dude in one of Jay’s leagues with 721. That’s about 5 moves a day. Only two players that he drafted are still on his team. He’s in 4th place despite a very poor draft. I think he deserves a medal.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @royce!: Yeah, it is weird, but the FCL hasn’t been in first til this week. To be honest, I hope this motivates people to recruit and organize stronger RCL’s year after year.

      Actually Rudy re-worked the formula this year to give more love to the higher index leagues. I have a feeling we will be scaling it back this next year but not all the way back to where it once was. Being that I play in the highest index league and the perts I get the fun of having my ass handed to me in two different tough leagues. On the one hand you have the FCL where everyone is playing well but you can stream great pitching all day because everyone else is doing it vs the Perts where the good adds are gone quick and its harder to stream quality arms because so many of the great options are rostered. Does that make sense? I just typed a lot of words and now I need a nap….oh and ROYCE!!!!

      • royce! says:
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        @J-FOH: Yeah, definitely makes sense. Enjoy your nap, JACK!!!!

        • J-FOH says:
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          @royce!: I write a short story and you give me that for a response. Don’t make me drive to San Diego

          • royce! says:
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            @J-FOH: Hmm…when I hear about a top prospect getting called up or a reliever becoming a closer, I usually try to pick them up in the Original Recipe league first, only to discover that Kid A already landed em. IDK how he does it…probably more adept at shizz like twitter and google alerts or something…Wait, what am I doing? Drive to San Diego!

            • J-FOH says:
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              @royce!: hahaha the answer I wanted to hear. Maybe in october. I need to get my bumper for the impala in carlsbad….yeah he is faster than everyone else in the news. No idea how he does it. That’s why I prefer faab. Takes out time element and makes you put your money out there and placing a value. Better way to gauge how good a player we all are because we all know who to add it’s just at what dollar value do you think they will produce.

          • royce! says:
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            @J-FOH: So do y’all have data for the most moves this year?

            • J-FOH says:
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              @royce!: yes we do. I’ll text you where you can see it.

      • Scott says:
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        @J-FOH: I never understood the whole index thing until just now. Doh!

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Scott: it reflects how active a league is top to bottom

    • mauledbypandas says:
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      @royce!: It’s funny that the last few years it has seemed like being in a highly competitive league was a detriment. I think Rudy changed the formula a little bit this year.

      I can tell you for sure though that it’s a whole nother world playing in a league like that. I have three of them and get my butt kicked regularly.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @mauledbypandas: you won the FCL last year…you run around naked in the championship belt……Cram is going to get a slightly soiled belt this year

        • mauledbypandas says:
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          @J-FOH: Most definitely need to do some disgusting things to that belt while I still can

          • J-FOH says:
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            @mauledbypandas: do you know any transients?

            • mauledbypandas says:
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              @J-FOH: Well, I wouldn’t say I know them, but in NYC you can’t throw a rock without it hitting 3 or 4

              • J-FOH says:
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                @mauledbypandas:

                You “excuse me, do you mind wearing this belt and rolling around on the sidewalk for these two tall cans and a bucket of chicken”

                Transient “as long as its not light beer then we got a deal”

                Cram” Hey why does my belt smell like a porta-potty”

        • mauledbypandas says:
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          @J-FOH: Yeah I had a good year last year. This year my drafting and streaming have been a little suspect. I have been somewhat distracted from baseball for the most part. Can’t be distracted in leagues that tough . I gambled on some injured players and have had some just rotten injury luck. Still trying my best but I can’t seem to buy a decent streamer

          • J-FOH says:
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            @mauledbypandas: streaming ain’t easy! You must of sold you soul last year. That’s the only thing I think could be the case

      • royce! says:
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        @mauledbypandas: Felt the same way re: it being a detriment- winning a competitive league alone had to give you enough satisfaction since the chances of winning it all in a competitive league were very, very low. I think that JFOH could be right that it needs to be adjusted, but it’s definitely fair.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @royce!: I think rudy mentioned cutting the added bonus in half next year. It feels right to me

  5. Big Magoo

    Big Magoo says:
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    You got it man. I’ll be in tons of leagues next year. Tons, I say. I’ll be sure to redirect any overflow your way, should there be any.

    I don’t know about the tv show, but reading this title made me picture you naked and it made me very afraid. Thanks for that.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Big Magoo: Tons, I say!

      I can text you a naked selfie? I’ll even shave my body first

  6. Scott says:
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    Why are the Rockies always the last one to submit their lineups for their hour slot?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Scott: managerial ineptness?

      • Scott says:
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        @J-FOH: Wouldn’t that make the Doodgers last?

        • J-FOH says:
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          @Scott: 2nd to last, I think Mattingly is a hair smarter than Weiss and just below Matt Williams

  7. Gareth says:
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    That league I’m in with Mike and Vin is fun. It’s going to be quite the ride with all three teams in the hunt.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Gareth: You might have to go full costanza and go against all your instincts in there

      • Gareth says:
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        @J-FOH:

        As of today I’m first with 90.5, followed by Mike with 89, then Vin with 88.

        I’m doing a lot of streaming with hitting and pitching every day so that keeps it interesting too.

        Some work out (Fiers no hitter, flores 2hr game last night) and others not so much (Ervin Santana – 8 ER in 2.1 innings).

        I have Morton, Chavez and Karns streaming tonight, and I’ve batty called Paulsen and Conforto.

        How they do should have an impact on wether I’m 1st, 2nd or 3rd at the end of the night.

        • VinWins

          VinWins says:
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          @Gareth: Just to clarify, I’m in 4th. Carrasco wasn’t enough to overcome my many shortcomings. Slew is the one in the battle, and also making a run at the overall title.

  8. The Big Yabu says:
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    DAH!!! The mention in last week’s article must have jinxed me. But Backdoor Sliders will rise again (and again)! Otherwise, I’ll need to change my team names to “Backdoor Cutters” — *ouch*.

    BTW, I’m over 550 moves for each of my teams. Didn’t realize I was slacking…

    • J-FOH says:
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      @The Big Yabu: 550? what are you sleeping all week. Don’t jinx the karma, time for a sacrifice or some kind of prayer circle

      or backdoor blunder?

  9. The Big Yabu says:
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    How many teams have hit their limit of GS?
    I’d be curious to hear from someone(s) about the strategy of maxing out so early…

    • J-FOH says:
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      @The Big Yabu: thats a good question. I can run it by Vin and see what he says.

      From a strategy standpoint it doesn’t matter when you get your starts. Obviously if you have an elite arm you dont want to drop them. But for instance, lets say you traded all your top arms before the deadline and streamed up all your game starts by August 19th. You can then stream middle relief the rest of the way to try and get vulture wins and high K totals. Its not an exact science but you can look at starters on the hill, opponents and usage patterns to predict the probability of a guy throwing that day. Its a total crapshoot but kinda fun to do. The other day in one league I got 5 innings and 6 K’s with zero earned runs all from relievers (only one closer). I could go on and on about how to maximize innings without wasting game starts. The reason the FCL is so high in the index is so many of the players are doing batty calls, streaming starters, and streaming MR’s.

    • VinWins

      VinWins says:
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      @The Big Yabu: I have to do extra to find Starts, as my app collects data from the active stats page. For myself, I finished off my starts in The Champion’s League just because my numbers weren’t that great anyway; I figured I could now concentrate on middle relievers and hitters. I’m trying to hold on to 9th place!

      There are a few teams out there stacked with aces that have reached the 180 mark, which will hurt the league index as a lot of great starts will not be counted.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @VinWins: Thanks Vin, I always appreciate the assist with these.

      • The Big Yabu says:
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        @VinWins: All of that makes good sense to me. A related question would be how good a starter has to be to be worth holding between starts, instead of streaming MRs and settling for whoever is available on waivers. I know that’s going to vary somewhat by league, but I suspect there’s a way to figure it out, at least roughly.

        One of the things that’s happened to my teams is that I’ve ended up with several SPs (Iwakuma, Lackey, Tanaka, Hammel for a while — I’d even add Lester to that category) who I *think* are just a little too good to throw back into the pool, but I’m not sure that they’ve actually been worth the full-time roster-spot. I was streaming MRs like crazy earlier in the season, but then got locked into those guys and had to cut back.

        • J-FOH says:
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          @The Big Yabu: It fluctuates how many you hold through the year. I would only draft two to three starters and then adaptt to the league as you go

  10. tbox311 says:
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    @Tehol Beddict aint catching the scorioles and the Hoobs are done

    we peakin’

    hugs and kisses

  11. Mike

    Mike says:
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    CharlieHustlers is a dynasty league, right? I have to give Gareth props…he made a lot of offers over the season to try to pry Marte off me.

Comments are closed.