Youuuuuuk hit two homers, Teix hit three home runs and, most importantly, Prince Fielder hit two home runs. Why do I say most importantly?  Well, with Youuuuuuuuk, I have him in one of my cash leagues, so I really hope he keeps hitting bombs because I know he has no trade value. With that said, I don’t think he keeps hitting bombs. So two home runs were nice, but they are what they are. As for Teix, he had three HRs, 4 RBIs. 6 of 13 home runs this month, which bodes well for a guy who doesn’t get hot until after the All-Star break. So the three homers are good, but no one was too worried. As for Prince Fielder aka the guy who now eats 16 Boca Burgers a day, he is a guy that you NEED home runs from. So it’s great to see fatty boombalatty finally hitting them. With 8 in June, he can still have 20-something home runs by the All-Star break and no one will remember why they hated him for two months. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Albert Pujols – Looks like he’s returning this Thursday. Yesterday, I traded Pujols (and Mike Cameron) away for Sizemore. Not a slam dunk, but Sizemore is keeping pace in home runs with Pujols and I could use the steals. Cameron was a waiver pickup and would’ve been a drop with Sizemore anyway. Feel free to weigh-in (and mock me) in the comments. (I’m sure you will anyway.)

Shaun Marcum – Marcum heads to the DL and tea with Dr. James Andrews. (If Dr. James Andrews plays fantasy baseball, I can’t imagine anyone trades with him. “Hey, Dr. James here. Was wondering if you wanted to trade me Soria for Marcum.” Other owner, “Is Marcum going to be out longer than expected?” Dr. Jim pauses for a moment then, “No.”)

Randy Wolf – Wolf in Petco 10 Ks, 2 ER. His Home/Road splits actually made me laugh. Home 4-1/2.46/44 IP — Road 1-4/5.84/44.2 IP

Justin Duchscherer – One-time great A’s middle reliever now becoming a great starter.  1.99 ERA now after going 7 2/3 IP of 1 ER ball.  How many Cy Youngs could Chad Bradford won?

Ian Snell – Today Snell is going to have an MRI. Izzy blows five saves in a row — goes to the DL. Victor Martinez goes two months without a home run, hits the DL. Snell has a 5.99 ERA through almost half a season? He’s headed to the DL too. But this is not the Disabled List; this is the Disgraceful List.

Kaz Matsui – Strained his hamstring.  Rumor is that he injured himself once in Japan during pregame calisthenics. When asked how this compared with his injury earlier this year, Kaz said through a translator, “This one is frustrating but the one earlier this year was a real pain in the ass.”

Manny Parra – Parra got the win, but didn’t look that great doing it. He’s walking too many. Oh, well. What do I mean, “Oh, well?” Parra’s a fifth fantasy starter. You can deal with inconsistency from a fifth fantasy starter. Jurrjens gets hit? No biggie. Cueto needs his eye cut so he can see? He gets cut. Carlos Silva gets knocked around– Wait, why is Carlos Silva on your team?!

Mike Gonzalez – Gave up 3 ER. Braves are probably pining for Kerry Ligtenberg. (Meanwhile, the KKK pines for John Rocker.)

Jeff Clement – Hit a HR off Mike Gonzalez. If you’re struggling at catcher, there’s no reason to not take the Clement flier.

Chad Billingsley – My “I (heart) Billingsley” tattoo has people coming up to me saying, “You’ll shoot your eye out,” but Chad and I know who it’s for.

Ian Stewart – Optioned down to Triple-A. Now that all non-Kinsler Ians suck, when is baseball going to enter the age of Seamus?

Clint Barmes – He was the one that replaced Ian Stewart. Worth a grab for a MI spot if you’re hurting (like you just fell down stairs carrying a dead deer.)

Vicente Padilla – With 10 wins now, he is on pace for 20.   Improbable?  We’d say so.  The last Ranger to win 20 games in a season was Rick Helling in 1998.  Since then, only a couple Ranger pitchers have won 20 games combining seasons.  Only 15 more to go Brandon McCarthy!

Johnny Cueto – When a rookie starter gets called up, he goes through a cycle. First, he wows the league, can get everyone out because no one is familiar with his stuff. Then the league catches up with the pitcher and he hits an adjustment period and is knocked around by the league. Finally, the pitcher settles in and becomes what he is. So when Cueto pitches well against the Yanks, the natural thing is to assume he’s settled in and this is what he is. The problem is, the Yanks are in a different league so this outing may have been a blip. The good news, he’s only surrendered more than three runs once in the last eight starts. So is he or isn’t he out of the adjustment period? Um… Yeah. Maybe.

Jered Weaver – Beat Hamels, but didn’t outpitch him.  Seems at this point that his really hot start when he first came up is the anomaly and not the last year and a half.  That’s just the Weaver way.

Justin Verlander – After pitching at Petco, Verlander put on Chris Young’s jersey and tried to sneak into the Padres rotation. “I took Dramamine – I’m not dizzy anymore!” On a side note, Brian Giles called up Jim Edmonds and asked him to smuggle him out.

  1. Zebo says:

    @Grey: Barmes or Aviles?

  2. Midget says:

    Zebo- the question wasn’t directed at me, but I like Aviles a little better.

    @ Grey- making a move for Jeff Clement in my keeper league. Which crappy SP do I drop to make room- Litsch or Bergmann?

  3. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Zebo: Gotta be Aviles. I own him in another league and he is providing satisfaction. Barmes will split time with Baker, plus his name is “Barmes.”

    Viva Aviles!

    p.s. Fielder has hoisted me on his non-meat-eating shoulders and carried me to first place in the RCL.

  4. SaltyBiscuits says:

    Who should get booted from my rotation first?

    Jose Contreras or Clayton Kershaw?


    I would go Aviles. I have seen 3 of his at bats this season. In each one, he hit a double. Each time, he clapped his hands like a maniac on second base. He looks hungry.

  5. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: Tough call. I’d say Contreras. He’s the kind of guy I hate having on my team: Streaky, and a 1.2 8 6 6 3 1 waiting to happen.

    Kershaw should still have some trade value, at least as a sweetener to a larger deal. Unless your league is 20,000 leagues under the sea-deep, there must be better starter options out there. I recently picked up Scott Baker and Cueto, and wanted to pick up Garza and Randy Wolf. I’d take any of those four over either Contreras or Kershaw, as a regular starter (Wolf at home only).

  6. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    “Ian Stewart – Optioned down to Triple-A. Now that all non-Kinsler Ians suck, when is baseball going to enter the age of Seamus?”

    I don’t know why this made me spit out my tea this morning all slapstick-style, but it was cartoonish… Razzball HOF.

  7. SaltyBiscuits says:

    @ BVV

    So dropping Contreras for Baker = smart?

    I also want to pick up Josh Johnson, I think he’ll be hungry when he returns and I like that Marlins lineup. Can I drop Kershaw for him?

  8. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: Personally, I’d drop Contreras for Scott Baker and keep Kersh over Josh Johnson. Hungry or not, Johnson’s flying on a busted Tommy John wing; reports are good, but give him a few months to prove himself.

    Baker, though, strikes me as a typical post-hype sleeper: much beloved, scout-wise, when he first came up and putting it all together now.

  9. Frank Rizzo says:

    What’s with the Aviles lovefest in here? Talk about some serious short memories in this place. Aviles barely got to the majors and everyone’s giggity goo-ga about him ala Jay Bruce. Just wait….it’s coming.

    I believe Barmes is going to be just fine and Baker is not as good as he’s shown lately. Remember, Barmes was batting .343 when he went on the DL. That’s not terrible. He’s a pretty good fit as the #2 hitter in that lineup.

  10. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Drop Hanley for Aviles? No.

    Aviles over Barmes? Yes.

    Aviles is a 27 year old rookie who was leading his AAA league in x-base hits. He’s ready.

  11. Frank Rizzo says:

    @SaltyBiscuits: Agree with BVV, Baker is the better choice. He’s only allowed more than 3 ER’s all year. I’m a little surprised by all the K’s lately but I guess that comes with having great control. And Baker’s shown he has that as his K/BB’s rate is fantastic. I added him a couple weeks ago and I’m not letting go. Contreras is going to get bombed by the Tigers, Twins, and Indians in the very near future.

  12. Frank Rizzo says:

    @BVV: A couple questions.

    Why was Aviles still in AAA at 27 if he was so good?…and in KC’s farm system no less.

    Why couldn’t Aviles beat out Tony Pena?

  13. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Zebo: Aviles.

    @Midget: Bergmann.

    @SaltyBiscuits: Contreras. Also agree, Johnson’s not worth the indigestion.

    @Frank Rizzo: I agree with BVV. Aviles has very good numbers in the minors. He may end up less valuable than Barmes, but on a MI flier, it’s worth taking the gamble.

  14. RT says:

    Gents, can you humor me and answer a Jay Bruce/Chase Headley question? I have both and have been trying to flip them out for pitching since I picked them up. I’ve lost my three #1 SP, so I am desperate. I’ve already turned down deals I should have taken (yeah, kicking myself)… So my question is this:

    Are they realistically going to produce through the year? And if so, any projections?

    The reason I ask is that I may keep them both now and flip out somebody else… aka. Chipper, McLouth, BPhillips, etc. for a big arm.

  15. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Frank Rizzo: That’s fair, but why was Dan Uggla a Rule 5 player? Or why did future Hall-of-Famer Wade Boggs languish in the minors for so long? Aviles power didn’t come on until very recently. Did he hit the weights this off season? Did he have a mind-blowing convo with George Brett and suddenly everything made sense? Did he see Billy Butler’s moobs bouncing back to Triple-A and he decided to step up his game? To paraphrase my 5th grade teacher, ours is not to reason why, ours is to pickup the hot MI if he’s available and you need that position.

    @RT: You should be trying to flip Bruce and Headley. Headley — 30/10/40/.280. Bruce 40/12/50/.260.

  16. RT says:


    I’ve been trying, but no real takers.

  17. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Aviles is not some shiny top prospect like Bruce or Headley. I do believe the Royals even made him available for a Rule 5 draft this past off-season and no one took him. But as much as I hate to agree with Brandon Funston (Bog Board Represent!), the Dan Uggla comparison makes sense. There are useful players who come out of nowhere to defy expectations and be better than people think, just as there are top prospects who fizzle out.

    Again, the context of this conversation is Aviles v. Barmes, not Aviles v. Cooperstown. Aviles has 3 HRs and 8 doubles in 64 ABs, so he’s hitting. After pointlessly riding the Peralta/Greene/Stephen Drew carousel for a few Furcal-less months, I am happy to wake up and see 3 RBIs and an SB from my SS, as I did this morning.

    Barmes seems a reasonable stop-gap too, though less likely, I think, to blossom into a feel-good story, a la Uggla. (Barmes seems Pedroia-esque in his ability to not fill up three of five categories. And I like Pedroia!) If/when Aviles goes on a 0-fer-48 slide, I’ll re-evaluate.

    You must be a Barmes owner, yes? You’re acting like Aviles called your girlfriend ugly.

    I will never forget that, in 2005, when the Marlins named an untested rookie as their starting SS, Rotoworld said “He has a chance to be the worst-hitting regular in the major leagues.” That SS?

    Hanley Ramirez.

    And now you know the rest of the story.

    @RT: I don’t think keeping both would be a travesty. (Disclaimer: I own both.) Maybe you could have traded Bruce for Peavy and Webb and a player to be named later a few weeks ago, but Bruce will rebound. And Headley’s looked good so far. Neither has huge value right now, so why not wait and take a gamble? If either one turns into Baby Braun before the end of the year, you’ll regret having dumped him at low tide for Ted Lilly. (Though if Headley keeps hitting for another week or so it might be time to shop him — Petco eats hitters alive. That burp you just heard? Brian Giles career.)

    I’d trade Chipper — his numbers are gaudy, his value is high, and his injuries are mounting. He should return a second-tier Hamels-type starter for shizz. Maybe even package him with something (Junky Closer!) for Hamels and a useful secondary starter like… Joba? Cain? Buy in on Cain now if you can, as per Grey’s sage advice.

  18. Frank Rizzo says:

    I am also Furcal-less. Had a good backup plan with Escobar but now he’s hurt too. Barmes and Aviles were picked up awhile ago so I don’t have either. I’m making due with Perralta until Escobar is healthy. Barmes was on my roster earlier before he went to the DL and he was fantastic. It just seems that people hitch/unhitch to different rides awfully quick sometimes.

  19. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Frank Rizzo: “Barmes and Aviles were picked up awhile ago so I don’t have either.”

    The Lament of the Deep Leaguer.

    Having played in a 12-team mixed with shallow rosters for four years, I’m finding the much-deeper RCL is giving me a new appreciation for deepness. I like it though, because it makes micro-trades much more useful.

    For example, in my regular league you’d never offer someone Jeff Baker for Jeff Clement, because right now neither guy is owned. Yet I just made that trade in the RCL! Go Clement!

    Rizzo — I’d think about making a stop-gap trade for someone like THE O-CAB. The way Furcal’s back is going, we might not see him again for another six weeks. Peralta is okay but his BA gives me the runs.

  20. RT says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins:

    Ah, the “micro trade”. My league is 18 teams, hence the Headley/Bruce question. In a league that deep, they can actually make a big difference.

  21. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Okay, but I saw him whiff two times in a game in Des Moines about a month ago. A .796 OPS is in order if his BABIP is adjusted to .300. Sounds like Kahlil Greene to me.

    Would you trade Greene for him? Bruce?

  22. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @IowaCubs: For Aviles?

    Greene = yes.

    Bruce = no.

    But this isn’t based on BABIP adjustment or accurate OPS breakdowns. This is just gut intuition. Greene makes me barf. His hair looks bad. He collects oh-fers like Don Corleone collects favors. This is Khalil’s best day in a given week: 4 1 1 1 0. This is every other day: 4 0 0 0 0. You know what you’ll get from him — the most uninspiring 20 donks in baseball. Come October, you won’t remember a single one of them. But you’ll have the nasty taste of Khalil in your mouth, like a bad hangover the day after you accidentally drank the abandoned bottle of beer with the ciggy butts in it. Having him on my team makes my heart hurt.

    This is fantasy baseball, not shopping for a mortgage. It’s supposed to be fun! And Aviles is fun — like a sporty new car! Drive the new Aviles!

    Realistically from here on out I think Aviles is capable of .260 12 HR 45 RBI 10 SB, i.e. decent non-killing-you stats in every cat. This is just a guess. I don’t think he’ll be a Top 10 SS, but he’s good now. And maybe more!

    re: Bruce: Bruce will be back. Stash him, don’t cash him. His Bruce Juice will return in time to hydrate your burst toward the finish line. It’s a long season, kids.

  23. p0rk burn says:

    Screw O.Cab.

  24. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @p0rk burn: Anagram for Screw O-Cab:

    Cower, Scab.

  25. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins:

    The next time you need a blog reliever (or b’reliever if you will) if you’re on vacation or something (or if your internet is down and you have to blog from an Apple store) my vote is for BVV to get the nod.

    He’s been warming up in the bullpen for far too long. Put him in coach!

    re: Bruce: So this would make Bruce a buy? Eh… all those Bruce K’s make that bottle of GreeneBrau taste better than average. (I feel a glossary definition coming on… hmm… any takers??). GreeneBrau…

  26. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Grey: Scrocab?

  27. p0rk burn says:

    @IowaCubs: Brew cocas! Fitting since he’s Columbian.

  28. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @IowaCubs: Ah, that’s sweet. But I am strictly a hobbyist — like one of those Victorian-era entomologists in a pith-helmet who’d self-finance a trip to the Amazon, discover a new variety of beetle, name it after his beloved childhood nanny, then get murdered by locals after he strays into their village looking for a needle-and-thread to repair a wee tear in his knee-breeches.

    Also: You know what you start when you say “Screw O-Cab?”

    Bocce Wars.

    And: Jay Bruce Believer?

    Juicy Rebel Beaver.*

    *it may be time to change my RCL team name.

  29. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Also: Beer Juice, Bravely.

  30. p0rk burn says:

    I wonder what the economic impact of is approaching. Just think of the man-hours spent (wasted?) brainstorming anagrams for player names instead of what we’re actually supposed to be doing. Unfortunately, I’m only missing out on a thrilling season of practice sets unlike the majority that is getting paid by somebody to do this.

    That makes it pro bono work I think.

  31. p0rk burn says:

    @Grey: Well thats 3 out of the 11096 possible anagrams. First person to get the rest of them wins.

  32. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @p0rk burn: Oddly, my day job is brainstorming anagrams. We’ve yet to figure out how to make this business-model profitable.

    I thought Pro Bono Work was selling U2 albums in Africa. Boom-cha!

    @IowaCubs: Also, don’t forget I get to write a whole post when I win the RCL. That’s right, I said it. Crackle and Pop, meet Snap.

    @Grey: Time well spent, friend. Time well spent. p.s. The “Dr. James Andrews Manages His Fantasy Team” could be a recurring feature. Or maybe a one-act play.

  33. p0rk burn says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: Maybe the anagram business model is fatally flawed as a result of the internet. Much like the adult video stores of yore the dutiful anagramist has been rendered obsolete.

    see h t t p:// wordsmith(dotorg)/anagram/anagram.cgi?anagram=jay+bruce+believer&t=1000 for the full list. Don’t feel bad, I felt really proud about Brew Cocas until I realized any monkey with a typing stick could do better. Damn you internet and your free boobs.

  34. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @p0rk burn: @Baron Von Vulturewins: This site is getting too smart for me.

    @Grey: You didn’t make any George Carlin jokes recently, did you?

  35. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @p0rk burn: This is also bad news for my viral-videos-by-mail-allow-8-to-10-weeks-for-delivery service.

  36. p0rk burn says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: I’m looking for partners for this business idea. We’ll sell CDs and people will come to our store and pay for the music. How could it go wrong?

  37. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: @p0rk burn: Again… WAAAY too smart. We’re talking PUBLIC LIBRARY, Oceans Eleven, National Spelling Bee or Jeff Goldblum-smart.

    You guys are going to have to turn down the Mensa, or else I’m outa here.

  38. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @p0rk burn: Customer: But I only like this one song.

    Us: Sorry, you have to buy the whole album.

    Customer: But this CD costs you about 18 cents to reproduce, and you charge me $15.99.

    Us: Don’t like it? Why don’t you go find the music for free on a magical computer?

    Us again: Like that’ll ever happen!


  39. Zebo says:

    @everyone: Kevin Slowey @SDG, a safe spot starter? I will be dumping JoJo Reyes (who is flavor du jour).

  40. Zebo says:

    @everyone: I just offered Yunel + Cojacks for Tex, any thought?

  41. I like the deal for you. But if the other guy applies any thought, this one’ll be declined mighty quick.

  42. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Zebo: I’d go with Slowey there.

  43. p0rk burn says:

    RCL League In Review, Vol 1. (there should probably be a comma there so its arguable instead of “. . . League League In Review . . .” but get off my back) posted in the Roster Rants and Reviews forum. Not a whole lot new for the league members but its a good way for everybody else to get a glimpse into the clusterEff that is the league. Damn you p0rk for not publishing the league pre-draft!

    Anyways, check it out. I didn’t slave over a hot stove for nothin’!

  44. Grey

    Grey says:

    @p0rk burn: Saw and commented. Thanks for writing it up.

  45. p0rk burn says:

    @Grey: No prob, fixed the error re: Lincecum – he went to Salty, not Iowa.

  46. BigFatHippo says:

    @Iowa Cubs

    Sadly I jinxed my favorite comedian of all time.

    Remember the 7 dirty words I posted in the RCL when p0rk said to get out any words you don’t want people to read before he deletes them?

    Yeah that was me, dammitt. Thought about that as soon as I heard it this morning.

    Favorite George Carlin joke?

    “Tonights weather report, mostly dark, with shades of scattered sunlight in the morning.”


  47. BigFatHippo says:

    @ Rudy

    No shit. There’s actually a term for that in the Razzball Glossary, go figure.

    You guys should win the Oscar for “Best Pop Culture References in a Fantasy Baseball Blog” at next years “Academy Awards of Shit Nobody But Us Cares About.”

  48. Grey

    Grey says:

    @BigFatHippo: …at next years “Academy Awards of Shit Nobody But Us Cares About.” — hehe

  49. Endless Summer says:

    @Zebo: Two of the seven dwarves, Slowey and Laffey, are good spot starts tomorrow. Go for it.

    @BigFatHippo: Next time use a Dane Cook reference!

    @BigFatHippo: hahaha, finally an awards show I would sit through.

  50. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Endless Summer: Slowey and Laffey. Nice. Took me a second (Slowey) but then I got it (Laffey).

Comments are closed.