Jake Peavy is scheduled to start on Thursday. Despite the fact that Peavy’s been on the DL for much of the year and the whole offense blows except for A-Gonz and Brian Giles’ OBP, San Diego is only 7 games back of Arizona. But just in case Jake was feeling nervous, we thought we’d calm him down with some inspiration from claymation canine Goliath (if this doesn’t ring a bell, watch the YouTube video first.)

Jake Peavy plaintively looking around the San Diego locker room at his teammates.

Goliath: Whatcha looking for, Peeeaveeey?
Jake: Goliath, do you see any hitters in this locker room?
Goliath: It matters what you mean by a hitter, Peeaveeey.
Jake: These people keep telling me that we have an offense but I look around and they all suck except for Adrian Gonzalez.
Goliath: That’s not a nice thing to say.
Jake: I know, Goliath. I guess I’m just nervous.
Goliath: Why is that, Peeeaveeey?
Jake: It’s just…I’m coming off a fairly long DL stint and my only practice was against my teammates. I’m afraid I’ll give up more than 1 run and then I won’t have a chance to get a win.
Goliath: Oh Peeeaveeey. Well I know a lot of fantasy baseball teams count on you and they realize you probably won’t win because the Padres offense is damned on account of Khalil Greene believing in a cockamamie religion.
Jake: Cocka-what?
Goliath: But if you give them 10 Ks and 3 runs or less in 7 IP, they’ll be very happy.
Jake: You really think so, Goliath.
Goliath: I know so, Peeeaveey. Now get off my DL and earn me some stats.
Jake: You got it, Goliath!

Anyway, here’s what else we saw:

Ryan Ludwick – The breakthrough season continues. 4-5, 2 2B, HR, 4 RBI. We have him as the 25th most valuable player so far this year (based on Point Shares). Ankiel chipped in a HR too. And no one involved in the Cardinal organization drove drunk tonight. That’s a heartwarming night for the Cards except….

Albert Pujols – Strained his calf and was helped off the field. He was said to have ‘calf cramps’ for a couple days now. Someone start massaging his motherfuckin’ calf. What’s the problem here? Wouldn’t be surprised if he hit the DL. At least he could spend some time with his children on Father’s Day – with the youngest entering college in September, he’s got to learn to cherish these moments.

Chris Duncan – If Pujols does take an extended siesta, we can see Dave’s Kid.

Dustin McGowan – Did his best Roy Halladay impersonation with a complete game win against Seattle. That is 5 quality starts out of 6 since his 9 ER stinker on May 10th

Dodgers – Furcal’s now rumored to be out until the All-Star Break. Schmidt smells like sourdough toast. Andruw would be shot if he was a horse. Nomar is more fragile than Alanis Morisette after a breakup. That’s 4 of your top 5 in Dodger salary. Hell, Juan Pierre is a relative bargain at $8MM/per….

Jonathan Broxton – Saw him bat yesterday. Member the show Mama’s Family? Imagine Mama with a bat.

Bill Hall – Started at 2nd with Rickie being weak. Hall at 2nd is butter on the rooster, if you catch my drift. (I don’t even catch my drift, but I’m writing this at midnight my time, so bear with me.)

Rocco Baldelli – Is playing in extended spring training. What is extended spring training? Is this like after hours clubs that always have the “most slammin’ music” and the “most bangin’ ladies” then when you show up it’s 30,000 Asian dudes with glow sticks drinking energy drinks.

Josh Barfield – Hurt himself right after getting called up. Looks like Father’s Day at the Barfield’s, Jesse might have to bust out those hilarious anecdotes of how him and his other son send each other to the hospital.

  1. B.J. says:

    Awesome daily notes today guys. You guys never cease to amaze me.

  2. jimmy smacks says:

    I’m still trying to figure out if “butter on a rooster” is a good thing or a bad thing.

  3. B.J. says:

    hell I hope it is because I butter my rooster on a daily basis sometimes multiple times

  4. Jeff says:

    Love the Youtubes, although Goliath could never touch the gem quality of Koko B Ware, its allllll great- anyway-
    Time to scoop Liriano? 7 Ks 1 BB yesterday- 41/15 K/BB ratio in last 51 IP

    Id be dropping Andre Ethier who is my weakest bat in an OF Crawford/Dunn/Quentin/Upton/Upton/D. Young)
    or Scherzer (Love the starts potential with Owings sucking)
    – but you’re the fantasy expert you tell me!

  5. BSA says:

    Tell me Drew doesn’t make you look twice. The swing is great but a personal hyperbaric chamber makes you nervous. Will the real Drew please stand up?

  6. BSA says:

    Hey PB – I think Drew might be a good guy to add to your Razzball team.

  7. Jeff says:

    Also, I was just offered this deal- I give Tejada/Justin Upton/Harden and I get Haren/Theriot.
    I have C Jax and Alexei Ramirez on my bench that can take Miggys IF pos.
    Upton is on my bench (See OF in above question)… My staff is Volquez/Garza/Burnett/JJ Reyes/Kuroda/

    I like this deal if you think its a good time to scoop Liriano b/c Id have an open roster spot- boost my staff and a slight downgrade in starting bats

  8. BSA says:

    Looking at those pitchers who wonder if they still got it – who do you think has the ability to make the biggest impact if they can just regain half of what they had pre-injury (mental or physical) – Petey Martinez, Brett Myers, Fransisco Liriano?

  9. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Jeff: Hmmmm…. I figure upton is a non-factor, as inconsistent as he’s been, so you’re basically trading Tejada for Theriot, and Harden for Haren.

    I kind of like ditching Harden now, before his glass obliques shatter once again into a million tears. But seems like you could pry Haren loose while giving up less. Why not just offer Harden and Upton for Haren? I’d rather have Tejada going forward than Ryan The Riot.

  10. Frank Rizzo says:

    Damnit that Furcal. What a tease he was. Now he sits on my DL and rots until mid-season….maybe more.

  11. @Jeff: We knew when we pulled out Koko B Ware that we set the YouTube bar very high. Glad Davey and Goliath came close. I haven’t heard word when Liriano is coming up but he seems worth stashing. I’d drop D Young, Ethier, or Scherzer for him.

    @Jeff: I wouldn’t make that trade. Haren falls off on the 2nd half. Giving up Tejada for Theriot should offset any difference b/w Harden and Haren. If you like Liriano, I’d drop Jar-Jar Reyes.

    @BSA: Pedro. He’s looked bad so far but he’s one of the smartest pitchers I’ve ever seen. He’ll figure out how to win. Myers has mental issues. Liriano is promising.

  12. Jeff says:

    Back @ ya Baron- Ill counter with that- Miggy was a steal to in the 10th round- I like that idea better keeping my value pick also.

  13. BSA says:

    @Rudy – Whenever I think of adding Myers to my team for more than a spot start I hear Grandmaster Flash in my head – Uh huh ha ha ha.

  14. Zebo says:

    @Grey: I think Micah Owings is done. Do you?

  15. p0rk burn says:

    Screw Ludwick. I got tired of his ugly mug sitting on my bench (El Caballo, Alfonso, A.Rios ahead of him, McLouth also a sub) so I dropped him last night for Doumit. At the time he was 1/1 with a rbi. Now I’m afraid his final line on the night is going to make him too sexy to pass on for the rest of the league. And the jerkfaces wouldnt trade for him either.

    I’m going to console myself with the thought that the guys ahead of him are better options and Doumit will allow me to flip Soto.

    @BVV: You make the jump to the forums yet? Haven’t seen you raving about O.Cab lately . . .

  16. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Zebo: His Ks are dropping and he’s giving up way too many hits. I don’t think he’s usable right now, no.

  17. Jeff says:

    A possibility of Scherzer taking start from Owings?

  18. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Jeff: Maybe, but he hasn’t been that good in relief.

  19. Funky Cold Mussina says:

    I’ve been offered a trade of Tulo/Litsch for my Oswalt. I have Furcal so I could use MI help. Does Roy’s quality start yesterday signal a turn around or a blip on the radar? What can I expect from Tulo when he’s back? A return to ’07 or the sub-200 schmohawk from the pre-DL stint?


  20. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Funky Cold Mussina: Not totally trusting Oswalt yet, but I wouldn’t go after Tulo right now.

  21. Wide Stance says:

    Peavy and Goliath–fucking hilarious, your blog just keeps getting better daily. Love the Davey and Goliath youtube insert. Also, great info. Dropped Owings for Liriano. Hoping for a good 2nd half from him

  22. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Wide Stance: Thanks. Owings for Liriano could pay dividends.

  23. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @p0rk burn: The forums are confusing to me. So many conversations! How can I keep track? I like everything in one digressive stream.

    @Frank Rizzo: I hear you on Furcal. This is why I don’t draft SS high — usually waiting for some bargain bozo like Lugo and constructing the rest of the team accordingly. (Okay, except last year, when I took Reyes 1st round.) I read a compelling article once that countered the idea of position scarcity: Basically, it argued that you SHOULDN’T invest heavily in guys at positions like SS precisely because they’re so damned hard to replace if they get injured. (I’m not really doing the argument justice here.)

    Anyhoo, J(h)onny Peralta is gently raping my team average right now, with no help in sight. My league’s Tulo-dude dropped Drew; I might have to grab him. I would have grabbed Cristian Guzman way back when but I THOUGHT FURCAL WAS DUE BACK ANY DAY.

    Frickin’ Fantasy News.

  24. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Baron Von Vulturewins: No worries, Rudy and I are here and the forums so there’s that.

    Furcal really seems like he’s becoming very injury prone as he gets older.

    *******For those not reading our forums, Putz left for Morrow. Injury-related.

  25. @Baron Von Vulturewins: Your presence is missed in the forums but understood. BTW, I read that position scarcity argument – I think it was by Ron Shandler/BaseballHQ. The issue is if that you lose too much if they get hurt. Not sure I totally buy it but the Point Shares work I did showed me that position scarcity is overrated. Look at your MI and your 5th OF in a 12 team league and there’s no real difference in value. So BJ Upton isn’t really much more valuable as a 2B vs. an OF.

    On that note, frigin jHonny and kHalil….

  26. nick says:

    This is an extremely easy call but i’ll ask anyways…

    Doumit was just dropped to Waivers (not sure why) and I’m 4 of 8 on waivers…so drop Pierzynski and use my waivers on him ?

  27. Grey

    Grey says:

    @nick: Git R Done. Yeah, I’d grab Doumit.

  28. Joe says:

    Like Baron, i’m stuck with Peralta as well. My team is a 5.5 out of 14 in AVG and he’s not helping one bit. But the FA market is dry. I’m trying to swing a trade for someone useful.

  29. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Joe: Swing it, Irish Joe!

  30. Joe says:

    I just offered Carlos Gomez for Yunel Escobar.

    It’s great to have the second best fantasy baseball insight on the web so readily available here…

    I say second best, you guys are good, but that Eric Karabell is like a cross between Nostradamus, Chuck Norris and Jay Bruce.

  31. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Joe: That’s a good trade for you. But maybe you should ask Karabell! *seethes*

  32. Joe says:


  33. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    @Rudy Gamble: I will get over the forums, I promise. I’ve also been out of town so not as stuck-at-my-desky of late.

    Sadly, my whole rationale for drafting Upton at position 16 was to play him at 2B, where he’d be much more valuable. Alas.

    My man Lackey is pitching his heart out today! Go Lackey Go! Actually he’s now out of the game, but I want that win, dammit.

    I will now go to the Forum and start a thread titled My Man Lackey Is Pitching His Heart Out Today.

  34. knighttown says:


    Re: Jessie Litsch. Watched the Jays game the other night and he just didn’t have it. Didn’t get hammered but couldn’t get his 88mph fastball by anyone. He may fall into the “Chad Cordero, flat-peaked pedophile/child hybrid” that you never draft like Grey was taling about the other day. At least not worth trading for Oswalt.

  35. knighttown says:


    Is there an application form to get one of your players a phonetically incorrect “H” in their name? If the logic goes that kHalil and jHonny, kill your team because of the inane H, I’d like to get one for vHictor Martinez. And tHravis Hafner. Actually, the whole cHleveland Indians.

    I hate them.

  36. monster says:

    What do you think?… I have Zimmerman and Blalock. Should I drop them both and trade for a good 3rd, or hold on to one of them in the hopes that one of these guys gets it together?! And if so, which one shoudl I hold on to? Many thanks,

  37. Grey

    Grey says:

    @monster: What have you been doing for the last two months at 3rd base? Monster, man, you need to drop Blalock, stash Zimmerman and pray and pick up someone else. Cantu maybe? Edwin? Crede? Anybody really.

  38. wakeNbake says:

    Does anyone know how Houston scored in the bottom of the 3rd?? I have Parra pitching but in the box score it doesnt say that Houston scored in the 3rd??

  39. wakeNbake says:

    also on espn it says Miguel Tejada hit a HR, yet that isnt showing in the box score either.

  40. wakeNbake says:

    cool I guess Yahoo box scores are messed up …thanks

  41. Wide Stance says:

    Karabell is a fricking tool. I do opposite of what this freak says

  42. Cowboy says:

    @Grey: I’ve been offered Tejada for Theriot and Billingsly, on the surface how does that shake out? My pitching staff in a sp sp rp rp p p p league is Zambrano, Peavy Valverde Capps Rauch Bedard Billingsly with Greinke Big Unit on the bench. Can I afford this move to make the upgrade and is it even worth it with Theriot playing well?

  43. Grey

    Grey says:

    @Cowboy: Tejada for Theriot and Billingsley — is not a move you should be making.

  44. Cowboy says:

    @Grey: if Shields were included with Tejada, and I could possibly push for Marcum would it be worth it? This trade was offered to me out of no where the guy so it kind of blind sighted me, must be fed up with Tejada. I know you’re big on Billingsly, but I think Theriot is going to drop off second half. Soriano going down will be nice though because the lead off spot is his.

  45. Baron Von Vulturewins says:

    Snell the Glove, Baby! I know it’s only the Nats, but Snell is Back! Buy low, snitches!

  46. WTP says:

    Hell, I forgot Jason Schmidt was even a Dodger. Wait…I forgot I once knew Jason Schmidt existed. Wait…the Dodgers are paying some guy named Jason Schmidt $12M (plus signing bonus) this year? What kind of C++ program did Paul DePodesta write that told him to make that deal? Oh, I see…

    Hey, and why don’t you guys have Crooked Pitch in your blogroll? Those noobs at Roto Advice haven’t even posted in a month, and I bet they don’t even live in their mom’s basement, like we do.

  47. Grey

    Grey says:

    @WTP: I thought Crooked Pitch folded. Never heard back from Knox after emailing to him a bunch of times.

  48. WTP says:

    Crooked Pitch is alive and strong. Knox’s wife had a baby, and I’ve been carrying most of the content since my site (Warning Track Power) was sabotaged by terrorists.

  49. @WTP: Send our best to Knox. The bigger question is why isn’t Razzball in Crooked Pitch’s blogroll! You correct that injustice and we’ll reciprocate….

  50. WTP says:

    If I had the admin privileges, I’d be all up on it. I’ll send your best to Knox, and berate him for his lack of a Razzball link.

  51. @WTP: Thx WTP. Glad you’ve found safe haven at Crooked Pitch…

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