Donkey Teeth and I had the pleasure of welcoming Don Zemmer (a sentence I’m sure you expected to read pre-pandemic) to our Patreon podcast.

Who?

Dot dot dot.

Don Zemmer, fools! The guy who sings popular songs using baseball players’ names! Allow me to give you an example for the underknowers and not-yet-appreciators. For the unsubscribed and not-yet-hip-to-the-unhip. For the uninitiated and unsatiated. For the what-the-heck-are-you-talking-abouters and the seriously-fill-me-in-I’m-cluelessers! Here’s some of Don Zemmer’s best:

And we hit that young brother with the toughest questions you can imagine about singing players’ names to popular songs. What’s the hardest words to find in baseball player names? Asked and answered! Do you repeat baseball player names? Asked and, follow along here, answered! How Jewish are you? Asked, and, um, answered, though that has less to do with the songs. I find a brother from another mother and prolly father in Don Zemmer when I find out he’s Italian and Jewish, a fellow pizza bagel. If you want to hear this lovefest as much as you want to hear me beg for him to do a cover of Weird Al’s White & Nerdy, you’re going to want to tune in for this episode. (Obligatory explanation to what’s going on and real world implications.) We’re charging $5 per month for this podcast as I try to pay writers, server costs and keep Razzball afloat. Also, it would help if you bought a season-long ad-free subscription. To subscribe to the Patreon podcast click that link-a-ma-whosie. Also, you get free pics of Donkey Teeth in the hospital. (Seriously, but it’s un-Rona-related, sadly.) To follow, Don Zemmer on Twitter click his name, my dudes, and to subscribe to his Youtube click that link, homies.

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Stat Man
Stat Man
2 years ago

From Baseball Reference

Lourdes Gurriel’s 162 game average – 89/34/92/8/.279. His 606 career at-bats – 82/31/85/7/.279.

He was raking in spring too. I have no doubt he’ll hit for power and drive people in. Who will drive him in for the runs count though?

The dual position eligibility is great. I got him as a FA the other day.

Stat Man
Stat Man
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

I’m in a shallow friends league. I have Baez and Abreu in the UTIL slots and Ozuna, Muncy and Lourdes on the bench. I think Ozuna is a decent comparison to replace Abreu in the UTIL with similar counting stats and average. Muncy could also be put in the UTIL slot too, but I want to keep higher average guys in there since I have Olson at 1B.

Would an offer of Baez and Abreu for Bellinger be fair, insulting or too much to give up? Belli kind of fell off the map AVG-wise 2nd half and is streaky. It was his April that really made his season.

ryan
ryan
2 years ago

In my 14 team h2h dynasty league I have received some interest in sean murphy. Since I also have Narvaez, Murphy could be expendable. I might be able to get one of these SP for Murphy. Which of these SP should I trade for….Jose Urquidy, AJ Puk or Brendan McKay?

c sean murphy

1b max muncy

2b ozzie albies

3b rafael devers

ss bo bichette

lf juan soto

cf ronald acuna

rf austin meadows

util yuli gurriel

bn cj cron

bn omar narvaez

na andrew vaughn

na robert puason

na luis matos

na jeter downs

na julio rodriguez

na erick pena

sp brandon woodruff

sp julio urias

sp max scherzer

rp scott oberg

rp ryan pressly

rp brandon kintzler

p patrick corbin

p alex wood

bn kevin gausman

bn carlos rodon

bn deivi garcia

bn sixto sanchez

bn edward cabrera

bn nathan eovaldi

bn matt shoemaker

na luis patino

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  ryan
2 years ago

Feel like you should get more for a nice prospect catcher, no?

Urquidy for floor, Puk for upside… I’d hold.

Your team is LOADED! Don’t need to thin yourself out at catcher for no reason.

Coolwhip
2 years ago

Yay! You like my writer’s league team (and Rudy’s numbers hate it LOL)! Man that was forever ago, haha. I think I’m still in a decent place given what type season we will be looking at.

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

according to your projections, you are a big fan of me.

Wake Up
Wake Up
2 years ago

Your track record on these is stellar. Maybe after I finish this 40 part Burnsian comment slash documentary on the Antartic Leopard seals…

On the Totinos pizza rolls side?

Wake Up
Wake Up
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Why stop at Totinos pizza rolls when we could have Condaleeza Rice…

Wake Up
Wake Up
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Now I’m wishing I didn’t get so full on Totinos pizza rolls. Have you reached out to Totinos pizza rolls to sponsor the pod? Promo code:ralph

Wake Up
Wake Up
2 years ago

Not sure what is an Uhtred? Sounds like the stuff the roid boys down the shore would scrape out of their bacne slash the filling inside of Totinos pizza rolls.

I’m half Italian and half full of Totinos pizza rolls.

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

You wish!!!

Coolwhip
2 years ago

Breaking: ESPN agrees to KBO broadcast deal

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

only until ST resumes (or reality sets in that its a lesser product than MLB – I’d actually be really interested in watching NPB but thats still delayed too, sadface) hahaha

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

recordings!

krazyivan
krazyivan
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

I’m holding out until Manny’s return to Taiwan in the CPBL
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=D-ST42UpBwM

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Yeah, basically zero interest too

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Believe it or not — and I know this may be hard to believe! — I *do* have better things to do than watch Korean baseball…

But if I’m home and it’s on during the work day… could see myself throwing it on the tube while muted. Definitely not going out of my way, though.

Between the KBO and all of the OOTP baseball “content” being pushed out there … kind of sad people “in the industry” can’t find better ways to spend their time. Do some research or dive into the minor league system … IDK, but I don’t see how this is either A) interesting, or B) going to help anyone get better at fantasy baseball…. my 2 cents.

Personally, I don’t have enough time in the day to look at all the baseball stuff I want to research and would never normally have time to do! I’ll take it — allows me to catch up to where everyone else is, since I’m just really starting to ramp on the player pool of ~700 or whatever this year…

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Exactly, like my mother did to me years ago.

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

It explains a lot, doesn’t it?

Wake Up
Wake Up
Reply to  baby seal
2 years ago

Sometimes after you get squeezed outta the hole you get shoved down the old ice hole…

Chin Music and Astros
Chin Music and Astros
2 years ago

Grey,

I forget what your full season projections were for J-Ram before you adjusted for the shortened season. What were they again?

Chin Music and Astros
Chin Music and Astros
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Thinking about COVID and the impact it can have on baseball economics and soon-to-be free agents. Should the Tribe move Lindor this season, J-Ram’s numbers across the board are going to drop. No one else really in that lineup.

Chin Music and Astros
Chin Music and Astros
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

I would imagine any big market team would be interested in Lindor.

Separate question, I’m interested in a power bat that can also score runs too. Looking at Nelson Cruz, if he had his usually number of at-bats, he would’ve scored 95 runs in addition to his HR and RBI numbers. With the addition of Donaldson and that Twins lineup, a healthy Cruz should be a 95-100/35-40/100 guy in a full season.

I have a deep roster of quality SP. Between Bauer and Gray, who would you give up to get Nelson Cruz?

I like to favor good ratios balanced with the K’s and QS.

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Agree!

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Phew, finally boinked my gf last night to get out all the pent up frustration! hahaha

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  baby seal
2 years ago

NEVER!

Chin Music and Astros
Chin Music and Astros
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Ok, so to complete the triad – GIVE UP Bauer to GET the old man Cruz?

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Chin Music and Astros
2 years ago

Only question is if you can get a position player instead of Cruz? He’s good, but old and only plays UT obviously…

That’s the only thing I would add, other than it seems fine!

Could also get some speed — feel like that’s a better use of dealing an arm like that away (unless you *really* don’t need any)… like Laureano would be sweet and get you those runs too.

good luck!

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Pretty sure there’s some sort of trade freeze (or for any transactions, I think) right now, no?

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Then take the square root and multiply by pi

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

I know you’re trying to trick me! There’s one more step I left out and you know it…

That’s how we win fantasy baseball in 2020!

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Who’s on first?

baby seal
baby seal
2 years ago

Oh yeah, and while I’m not a Pizza Bagel like you, at least we have the “Pizza” part in common!!

Very funny, haha.

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

your bagel half would like a few words with you. lol.

Coolwhip
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

haha, and the newyorker half of each of those halves says “forget about it!”

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Coolwhip
2 years ago

*fogettaboutit!

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Coolwhip
2 years ago

Here’s a nice article on ya boy Garver! https://www.mlb.com/news/mitch-garver-is-the-2019-breakout-hitter-worth-believing-in

Spent some time reading through the statcast articles this weekend to see if there was anything interesting to glean in there….

Mostly just cool videos of ppl running fast, hitting bombs, and nasty Ks… not a bad way to spend part of the weekend!

Coolwhip
Reply to  baby seal
2 years ago

Not as good as my Garver article!!! I did it first.

though… this quote is now going on my wall…
“I think home runs are the coolest thing you can do,” he later continued. “That’s how much I love them. That’s why I try to hit them every at-bat.”

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Coolwhip
2 years ago

Hahahaha, you haven’t seen that quote before??? Shocked I tell ya, SHOCKED!

baby seal
baby seal
2 years ago

What up dude? Did you finish szn 4 of TLK yet? Haven’t started — can’t wait….

Here’s the FT BB 100 (that’s Fantrax Best Ball 100, where WALKS count for points, as a reminder :) #SquadSoFar from the wheel (12th pick):

Lindor
Bregman
Morton
Alonso
Muncy
Montas
Soler
Schwarber

Wanted to grab another pitcher w/ one of those last two picks, but there was a huge run on the guys I liked right before… so just doubled up on the OF instead… I’ll correct that next time around.

Some guy named “Mets” has 6 pitchers and Carlos Correa… wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Some guy named “Fauda” has zero pitchers so far… wheeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

NUX
NUX
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Something is wrong with the Invite Owners link for that next draft we were planning to start today. I can’t figure it out. Still waiting to here back from NFBC about it. Stay tuned!

NUX
NUX
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

I mean I wanted to get going soon, but I haven’t been able to get the link out to anyone. Maybe tomorrow, will comment when I hear back from the NFBC crew

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Seems unlikely, haha…

Malicious Phenoms
Malicious Phenoms
Reply to  NUX
2 years ago

I sent you a DM on twitter. Am I in this draft?

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Thanks and looking forward to it!!

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

ROFL, I think you are being serious, but can never be certain w/ you!

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

aye aye, captain!

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

I got Franimal on the squad!!!

Dream of having Schwarber and Franny on the same squad has been completed — and we have Soler on there too — let’s go!!

William Hung
William Hung
2 years ago

never thought I’d be first to comment! first!

William Hung
William Hung
Reply to  William Hung
2 years ago

crap nevermind… this ended up 3rd… damn internet!

MattTruss
Editor
2 years ago

If anyone is looking to nab all of Grey’s dart throws in an RCL, we have another drafting tonight (8 PM ET) and our final one drafting Thursday night (9 PM ET), click below and you are in!

TONIGHT: https://www.fantrax.com/newui/fantasy/joinLeague.go?leagueId=xzmfdzo0k62zwoio&isSubmit=y

THURSDAY: https://www.fantrax.com/newui/fantasy/joinLeague.go?leagueId=bw0tx1q2k61hmawp&isSubmit=y

Thursday’s league only has one right now and if it doesn’t fill, I’ll push it to mid-May.

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  MattTruss
2 years ago

Teoscar in the first or GTFO!

krazyivan
krazyivan
Reply to  baby seal
2 years ago

If he’s not there in the first then I can fall back to Danny Santana.

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  krazyivan
2 years ago

hahaha!

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  Grey
2 years ago

Fun Fact: Did you know he’s the fastest player on the Jays, according to Sprint Speed?

galica
galica
2 years ago

Grey!!!

Great patreon pod!

a. Really missing these podcasts!! A fellow ‘pizza bagel’…I’m dying man.

b. Actually, when I saw his name the first thing I thought of was Don Zimmer! No jokes. But then I remembered he passed away a few years ago, so RIP Don Zimmer.

c. MLB quote of the day for June 4, 1994

‘The reason I think I’m a good pitcher is I locate my fastball and I change speeds. Period. That’s what you do to pitch. That’s what pitchers have to do to win games.’

Gregory Alan Maddux. Maddux is the only pitcher in MLB history to record 15 wins in 17 consecutive seasons and also the only pitcher with 300+ wins, 3000+ strikeouts and less than 1000 walks.

Cheers,
Ante

baby seal
baby seal
Reply to  galica
2 years ago

RIP!