Colby Rasmus goes by the nickname Razz or Razzle-Dazzle, which should make him a favorite here at Razzball, but there’s something pricky about him that I don’t like. Might be the name, Colby. It sounds like a total douche name, like a character’s name in a Bret Easton Ellis novel. (Speaking of douche, I have […]
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Jason Heyward, 2009 Fantasy Outlook
December 17, 2008 | 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Keeper Leagues | 15 Commentsby: Grey
Jason Heyward, besides having the surname of a 1930s matinee idol, has the mitts of a Yeti and the sturdies (<– that’s legs) of Frank Thomas. His man gams are 117% oak. You thought Jay Bruce could fight crime? Heyward just saved your life and you didn’t even know you were in danger. Look over […]
Please, blog, may I have some more?The other day a Razzball reader, Tim L., contacted me about mocking his fantasy baseball keeper league. Hi, I just wanted to say I’m a huge fan of your site. I think you do a fantastic job and have great analysis (as well as it being very funny). The reason I’m writing you is that […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Furcal Redeems ATL-LA Round Trip Ticket
December 16, 2008 | 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Hot Stove Rumors | 20 Commentsby: Grey
Rafael Furcal returns to the Braves, which can’t be a good thing for 2009 fantasy baseball owners. I mean, it can, but it probably won’t be. This move will have people slightly too excited about Furcal. Then you throw in his great April in 2008 — hitting .357 with 5 home runs and 8 steals […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Mat Gamel, 2009 Fantasy Outlook
December 15, 2008 | 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Keeper Leagues | 8 Commentsby: Grey
While regurgigating Jobacum, I mentioned Gamel is a lot like Ryan Braun. All hit, no field. In Single-A ball in 2007, Gamel made 53 errors in 128 games. In that post, I said that he plays 3rd like Jenny McCarthy at a celebrity All-Star game, but I think I was overestimating his glove work. Kenny […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Blake DeWitt, 2009 Fantasy Sleeper
December 15, 2008 | 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 22 Commentsby: Grey
I’m not sure if Jeff Kent will retire. I’m sure his wife doesn’t want him to retire because he seems like he’d be a miserable prick around the house. Why doesn’t this remote work?! She sighs, “You have to turn on the TV first.” Maybe he lands as a DH somewhere in the AL. Either […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Yanks Have Money To Burnett
December 14, 2008 | 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Hot Stove Rumors | 10 Commentsby: Grey
There’s only two types of years for AJ Burnett. He’s either playing hard because it’s a contract year or he’s hardly playing because he contracted an injury. Unless the Yanks are willing to give him a new contract every year to add to this one (which is definitely possible with the Yank$), our guess is […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Chris Young, 2009 Fantasy Sleeper
December 12, 2008 | 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft | 64 Commentsby: Grey
Not Krispie Young. I’m talking about the lanky, San Diego pitcher, Chris Young. (Though some may say Krispie is also a sleeper.) Last year, POO-holes put a little extra stank on a rope right back at Young’s nose. Young ended up only starting 18 games and a few of those starts were obviously just, “Let’s […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Winter Meetings, the Smaller Deals
December 11, 2008 | 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Hot Stove Rumors | 15 Commentsby: Grey
A non-stop flurry of nothing came out of Las Vegas as the Winter Meetings came to a close, as the gold nuggets ended up being turd nuggets. Not that this deal was a real whopper, but Melky and Mike Cameron wasn’t finalized so I’m not going to go into that yet. Felipe Lopez, Matt Joyce […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? Wood Up, Putz Down, 2009 Fantasy
December 11, 2008 | 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Closers, Hot Stove Rumors | 27 Commentsby: Grey
Yes, sometimes I try and make the titles double entrendres just so we get traffic from really bizarre places. Now if I were to mention the Mets are now throwing a Rod and a Putz, our traffic would skew even further. Now if I were to continue to say things like I think the Mets […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? CC Signs After Reggie Mentions Candy Bar Opportunity
December 10, 2008 | 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Hot Stove Rumors | 22 Commentsby: Grey
On Tuesday, Brian Cashman, the Yankees GM, flew to California to speak with CC Sabathia about him signing with the Yankees. The conversation went like this: “I wanna play on the West Coast.” “We can have In N Out Burger shipped to the East Coast.” “Same day?” “Don’t get greedy.” CC opens up the book […]
Please, blog, may I have some more? K-Rod Settles For 3 Years After Reading His Nickname In A Mirror
December 10, 2008 | 2009 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Closers, Hot Stove Rumors | 18 Commentsby: Grey
K-Rod wasn’t the top closer according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater and he’s not the number one closer according to our 2009 Fantasy Baseball Projections — it’s called Point Shares, ya’ll! The title of top closer goes to Mariano Rivera and Jonathan Papelbon, respectively. And I respectively agree. As Madonna tries to figure out […]
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