Alex Bregman signed with the Cubs and this is legit a brain puzzler. I’m gobsmacked! I’m besides myself and the me next to me is wearing the Riddler’s leotards with question marks all over them. I’ve been hoodwinked and bamboozled! C’mon, thesaurus, lay on me another one! I’m speechless. Here: Uhh. Dot dot dot. What? I don’t understand. So, like what does this do for Matt Shaw? Michael Busch? Nico Hoerner? Ian Happ? How does one new bat clog up an entire lineup? It’s fine for Alex Bregman. Cubs just gave him a huge deal; they’re not about to platoon him. How does this affect literally everyone else in their lineup? If I were the Cubs, I’d start by trading Matt Shaw to the Pirates for Jared Jones or trade him to the Padres for their entire farm system. No, he’s not worth that much, but I’m just saying that’s how the Padres do trades. “Hey, Padres, you want (insert non-Padres player)? Then give us everyone in your farm system.” As it stands, Shaw is the odd man out, but this, pardon the phrasing, clogs up Busch. This might move Hoerner down in the lineup, which is not where he should be. It might step on Moises Ballesteros’s at-bats too. Already gave you a Matt Shaw sleeper, but I’m gonna have to lower his projections in my rankings (Available already on the Patreon), if the Cubs don’t move someone before Opening Day.
As for Bregman, he is one of the most predictable players for stats. It doesn’t mean he’s excellent; it just means you should know what to expect. He’s a 150 game, 25 homer, .260 hitter with almost zero speed. If he has a fluke injury and only plays 114 games like last year, he’s exactly the same as every other year, minus the stats he would’ve accumulated in the other 36 games. If you want a good laugh, look at Bregman’s 2019. Only one who can’t find humor in that is Gleyber. 2026 Projections: 87/26/77/.263/3 in 591 ABs. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this offseason for 2026 fantasy baseball:
Psyche! All of my 2026 fantasy baseball rankings are on the Patreon. Don’t wait for the rankings to come out later this month. Anyway II, the roundup:
Jake McCarthy – Traded to the Rockies. You know what time it is, right? It’s time for Jake McCarthy to have a huge year, then become absolute dog crap for the rest of his career. Nolan Jones and Brenton Doyle showed you the way, now go forth. 2026 Projections: 43/9/41/.260/16 in 416 ABs
Michael Toglia – Signed by the Reds. El oh el. Of course! Nothing the Reds love more than very passable corner men. (I saw someone’s write-up about Toglia and they called him a fascinating lottery ticket. Easy there. Fascinating is Neil deGrasse Tyson; this shizz is a shrug.)
Max Kepler – Busted for a PEDs-related suspension. Oof. Bless his heart for how awful he’d be without PEDs. Lots of 77-MPH grounders to the pitcher. Unless I heard wrong and it was a Pez-related suspension. Last time there was one of those, Norm Cash showed up at a game with a JFK Pez dispenser. Very poor taste with how JFK’s head goes back to give you candies.
