I’m going to put the caveats up front. Caveat #1) When I was younger, I played doctor on occasion, but I never went to med school. Caveat #2) Trading for or grabbing injured pitchers off waivers is risky. You get one setback and you could lose the pitcher for another month or two. Then bam! you’re in September and shouting Emeril catchphrases. Caveat #3) The comparison I’m about to make may hold no weight whatsoever. Caveat #4) There’s no caveat #4, there never is. Like an overworked truck driver, Jorge de la Rosa had a strain of his middle finger. This injury is similar (this is the comparison that may be wonky) to Adam Wainwright’s middle finger strain in 2008. When Wainwright returned, he had 6 of 7 solid starts. Now if dlR uses his middle finger more than Wainwright or if his injury was more severe than Wainwright’s this may mean nothing. My common sense says, “The injury is not an arm injury. It’s your bugger off finger.” I think Rosa can return with value, but there’s also risk attached. So you have to weigh your pros and cons. A big pro is the plus-sized girl at The Chicken Ranch. Another big pro is that dlR strikes out a batter per inning. Mmm… Strikeouts. Anyway, here’s some more players I’d buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
BUY
Pedro Alvarez – Sure, he doesn’t have a 45-year-old wife with kids that he doesn’t recognize like Jose Tabata or a cool nickname like The Dread Pirate (though I may try and push The Smashbuckler like that Mean Girl tried to push fetch), but Alvarez does have a good bat and upside. Who else are you rocking at your corner infidel spot? Headley? Yeah, he’s disappointing at best and playing his home games at Petco at worst.
Dayan Viciedo – Just went over my Viciedo fantasy. Thank me later.
Delmon Young – Four long years ago, Delmon was the hottest prospect in all of baseball and flinging bats at umpires. Well, he’s still only 24 and now wearing Stickum. I wouldn’t expect much more than 20 homers and 10 steals, which sounds like what Pacman Jones should give you, but Delmon has that ever elusive upside. Wait, Jones has that too. Hmm…
Tyler Colvin – Steve Stone Piniella decided to give Colvin a chance and so should fantasy owners for pop. Not cola.
Travis Hafner – This is not implying that I think you should trade for Hafner. No, this is simply if you see him on waivers, I’d grab him (with one hand supporting the back of his big melon head).
Aubrey Huff – Hey, it’s Pat the Bat’s fingercuff partner. Huff has always been better in the 2nd half and now he’s hitting in the 1st half. You do the math!
David DeJesus – Member that guy you picked up about a month ago because he was hitting? Let’s call him Fred Lewis. Yeah, that’s DeJesus. Or DeJewis.
Mike Napoli – Why are people dropping him? You need to chillax. He’s playing 1st base as Mathis starts behind the plate.
Bronson Arroyo – Member how his post-All-Star Break ERA last year (2.24 ERA) fooled people into drafting him in March? Ah, we did have a laugh at them, huh? Me and you. You don’t remember, do you? Oh, well. It’s close enough to the All-Star Break that you can now grab him.
Jon Niese – He’s really not that exciting but I’m ready to take a long pull from the Niese pipe (maybe could’ve reworded that). Right now, Metco is ranked dead last in offense. No reason why you can’t exploit that.
Clayton Richard – Has an ERA of 2.71, 1.28 WHIP and home games in Petco. Imagine my surprise when I saw he’s only owned in 48% of ESPN leagues. Imagine my further surprise when I started a sentence with “Imagine my surprise.” Sounds like I’m writing in to Dear Abby. Imagine my surprise when they showed up at my door three hours after the housewarming started! Empty-handed! Some people!
Dan Hudson – Stephen just went over him in the Dan Hudson for fantasy thingamawhosie. With Peavy’s injury, we could see him in the landmark case, Sooner vs. Later.
Jason Hammel – Went over him in last week’s Buy/Sell. But you knew that.
Aaron Heilman – Heilman’s really not as safe as he may seem, but for right now SAGNOF!
Brandon Lyon – Don’t think Lindstrom just flat-out loses the job without a few major breakdowns (which could happen), but he has complained about a sore back a few times recently. Lindstrom sneezes and Lyon becomes the closer in Houston. It’s the very lazy butterfly effect.
SELL
Austin Jackson – I told you to sell Jackson back in April because that’s when his value was at its highest. If you wait until a guy actually stops hitting, then you’re not going to be able to sell them for anything. You’re gonna just drop him. And that’s about all you can do with Jackson now.
Carl Crawford – Let’s look at two lines. 50/6/36/.297/23 and 44/3/22/.317/22. That’s Crawford and Gardner, respectively. I could’ve also posted Podsednik or Rajai or insert SAGNOF’er. The steals are great and I don’t think Crawford necessarily falls apart. I think he stays on the same pace he has been his whole career, which happens to have him stealing less bases in August and September than any other months. So if you can get cheap steals and move Crawford for a big piece, I would. Say Crawford for Ryan Howard then grab steals off waivers? I’d do that. Don’t trade Crawford for a free consultation at the Don Mossi Beautification Center.
Chase Headley – I’m moving on in the leagues where I own him. Petco is where sleeper dreams go to die. How’s that for a turn of a phrase? Huh? Okay, moving on…
Andy Pettitte – I wonder if you can convince the Yankee fan in your league that Pettitte’s year is for real because it’s not. That reminds me of a run-in I had with Buddy Hackett about fifteen years ago. I dropped heaps of admiration and he said, “Is that a diamond in your nose? Oh no, it’s not.” I stared. Buddy, “No, it’s not!” Blank stare. “It’s snot!” Turned out I had to wipe my nose.
